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Spike knew he couldn't see her again, not until 6 days later, like the others, she made him promise not to go near her house or look for her.
Said she had things to do and that he might be under some kind of surveillance, so he promised her.
However, he was starting to feel tense, he missed her, hell, after his second death, he had missed her so much, but he beared with it because he knew it was for the best, he spent 6 months without seeing her. Well, knowing she was in Europe made it easier.
But now, there she was, so near and he had to stop himself from looking for her, from smelling the surroundings to pick up her scent, just to smell her, but that would lead to too much temptation, he'd want to see her, then touch her, and then be with her again.
Now he realised how much he could not be without her, it was killing him not to see her and it had only been a few hours.
He was stupid, why did he even thought of staying away from her in the first place ?
He was so stupid, bloody stupid soul !!

His soulless self would never had let go of her, would never have chosen to stay away from her, would have picked the crumbs she gave, the pity "I love you" she gave and pretend to believe she really meant it.
They would have been together, she would have had to keep her word and act as if she loved him after he came back !
Being with her everyday, living with her, sleeping with her, touching her, kissing her, being surrounded by her...

But he knew that wasn't true either, the soulless him would never had died in Sunnydale, he would never had been 'champion' enough to wear the bloody trinket, would never have activated it.
The souless him wouldn't have gotten accepted back in her life after what he had done, and most of all, he would never have received those words because he wouldn't have been worthy of even her pity.

But the ensouled him understood why she said that.
Knowing he loved her, that he was in love with her and with all the soul and saving the world deal, she felt obligated to give him the last crumb that made his death worthy of something, and he was grateful.
However he knew what was right, well, not at first, first he had wanted to see her, but his incorporeal self slowly understood what was right.
The great git had been spot on on that, she deserved better, needed someone that she really loved, someone that wasn't a demon or undead.

Fucking soul !!

Now there she was, mad at him, and there they were, having spent one of the most incredible nights of his life and unlife and still back at square one.

He needed to let go of her ! No, he needed to make her really fall in love with him !
That was men do in the old days, well, not him, but other men, find a girl, take her and marry her, staying with her until she loves you.
She still had feelings for him, he knew that, he could see it.
How she looked at him... Yes, he could make her love him, the attraction was still there, undeniably, she could be happy with him, couldn't she ?
NO ! He shook the idea off... He had to do the right thing, help her once more and say goodbye...
Never see her again even though it killed him. Do the sodding right thing.
Maybe he could make do, become a womaniser, forget about her in other girls arms ! Hell he might have a soul, he might love her but there was no way he'd act as a monk ! He was no Angel !
But no blondes, not short-haired blondes, no long haired blondes that'll remind her too much... Why not start with that brunette that was strolling over there ?
Yeah maybe he could do it ! oh... Who was he kidding ?!
Okay, he had to at least try. Show her he wasn't pitiful, didn't need her pity, wasn't worthy of it.
Yeah, sthat bint sure looked good with those low cut hugging jeans, and the hair was not bad, maybe if she turned a little he would see her front...

Damn ! The Powers that Be must have wanted to play a joke on him Spike thought as he recognised the radiant girl that was walking 5 yards from him.
It had to be her, of course !
And so Spike found himself tailing her, making sure that no one was following him, that he was far enough from her so that she wouldn't feel his presence.

He followed her until she arrived at a suburban area, under a window, throwing rocks at it.
Then a young whelp showed his face, climbed down to join her, as if he had been waiting for her.
Spike was definitely surprised at their behaviour, what was she doing outside at night and with this boy ?
He continued to follow but since he had to keep a certain distance, that also meant he couldn't hear what she was saying.

She was taking the boy to patrol, he realised, or rather, she accompanied the boy on patroll, as she didn't move an inch when a couple of vampires attacked them, she let him defend himself, fight by himself, which he did without a glitch to Spike's astonishment.

Then she smiled and patted the boy's shoulder. They walked some more and slayed some more until she took a look at her watch and accompanied the boy home, telling him that she'd come again the next night. The boy smiled broadly to her.

Spike knew what he'd be doing the next night.





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