Author's Chapter Notes:
A little bit of Angel bashing in this one, though I hope not too much.. just do tell me your opinion... Was it too much ?
by the way any suggestion for the title of this chapter ?
Buffy was in dismay at everything Angel told her, she understood his laps of despair, how he could loose faith and hope after everything that had happened to him, she did understand, she had her own share of doubts, she often thought of leaving everything behind. She understood all that but also wondered why he never called her for help or even just an advice or encouragement, and couldn't agree on all the things he did, even though she understood what took him there.

While trying not to look too pissed to make him keep on talking, at the back of her mind, she was thinking about how he dared to judge her relationship with Spike, he the one who slept and even made a baby with his sire ?

How could he have thought that wiping all of his friends' memories was good for them ?

Even SHE knew better than to mess with people's mind and memory.

And the amulet... Conceding him that she might have never made it back there in Sunnydale without the amulet. It still was HER choice to make, she did chose not to get the demoniac powers that the ancient shamans were offering her, and she could have chosen (wisely or not) to not use the trinket that came from W&H, then maybe Spike... no... sooo not going there again, she thought to herself.
Had Angel always been that condescending ? Had he always thought she was reckless and unreliable ?

She realized he had, that she made him see her like that.
But back then, she only saw him through the eyes of love, he was her knight in shining armor, her first love and guide, the evil Romeo to her slayer Juliet, the one that held all the answers when she was lost and still discovering herself. She realised that mostly because of her, they never had been on equal footing, not like... SOOOO not going there she mind kicked herself.

She now understood that even though she'll always love him, he wasn't right for her, not just because of the soul losing deal but because she wasn't a lost girl that needed him as a pillar anymore. She wasn't the one she was anymore, and he wasn't what she thought he was.

Still listening to his story, she thought back at the conversation she had with Willow before leaving the US.

Her friend asked her if she wanted to see Angel before leaving the continent, confessing that she gave him back his soul, making soul stick permanently to the vampire, this time, no more curse, no more conditions, no more risk of losing it, happiness or not, Willow had gotten THAT powerful.

But the witch had aded that she hadn't told Angel yet, mainly because she didn't want to distract Buffy when they were in the middle of an Apocalypse, but then the witch added that she saw through him, saw his need for it to be a curse, a punishment, he needed to think he might lose it someday or else he might have found someone powerful enough to do what she did, to do what Spike had done to himself.

And though Buffy didn't have the same opinion, had wanted to tell him right away, as he deserved to be able to allow himself some happiness, but she also knew it was something SHE had to tell him face to face, but she couldn't bring herself to go to LA, to meet him so soon after.... after what happened...
It would have felt like a betrayal...

She thought that after a few weeks, after having put everything in order she'd find the courage to do it.
But then they heard of him taking over W&H...
Not knowing the what and hows, they finally decided to observe from afar and find the right time to see him face to face.

Maybe he was ready to hear it now, she thought, as she was looking at his repentant eyes.
But it was her who was too tired to make decisions that important, too tired to find the right words.

" I'm glad you told me everything. But that was a hell lot of informations in one go, I need some time to process everything, Angel, we'll talk about it some more, I promise ! I'm not leaving LA, so we'll see each other, ok ? " she soothed him.

She had so much to tell Giles and the other members of the council right now, she had a video conference to set. Had to convince them that Angel wasn't a lost cause, she understood what Andrew meant now. He had just been lost but in his heart the light was still there. They hadn't corrupted him yet. The LA gang were still redeemable.

Angel was disappointed that she wanted to go, tried to keep her, but she was determined.
" Sorry, but I'm a little jetlagged here... need to rest."

" Oh ! Sorry hadn't thought of that ! Do you have a place to stay ? W&H have many condos in LA -"

Buffy winced and said " No it's fine, Will booked me a hotel room nearby, and you should get some rest as well, it'll be sunrise very soon. "

He still offered to drive her back but she told him that she prefered to take a stroll.
She finally left, after scanning through the room and not seeing the blonde that may had left long time ago.

Buffy then walked to the house they owned in LA, luckily it wasn't too far from the mansion, but it was still a one-hour walk from the mansion.

For having living in the city for many years, she knew it wouldn't be a quiet stroll, but that was what she needed, some fight to get off the steam, to help her sleep despite all that was going through her head right now.

...And that was what she found, a dozen of vampires surrounded her just ten minutes after she left,
" Hey cutie ! "one biker vamp said, as they neared more and more.

Buffy smiled, stretched a little and replied : " Hi there ! you need directions ? "

The vampires all put on their game faces and the female one said : " No just a snack ! "

" Aww... too bad for you ! I'm no snack material !" and highkicked her within a second, " So, who's next ? "

And they all charged at her all at once, she ran to the wooden fence nearby, making herself a stake just in time to dust the first one who reached her, she then easily offed them one after the other, but, as she was staking the last one, she sensed someone running to her back,
'Was there another one ? Whatever... ' she thought as she turned around intending to stake it anyway.

But that vampire had a knife that Buffy almost received straight in her heart if he hadn't gotten dusted before he did more damage than just a hole in her shirt and a little scratch on her breast.

"And that was my favourite shirt too" the slayer joked before recognising her saviour...


Chapter End Notes:
Okay, hotness to come next, so please keep reading...



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