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Chapter 6: Triggered

Buffy looks on with Spike at her side as William rolls a large yellow marble toward a circle of marbles of various colors on the wood floor of his room. She then remembers the marble the boy gave her earlier and pulls it from her pocket. It's the same marble he plays with now in Spike's memory. She stares at it for a moment watching the light from the window dance inside the orb. Thud, Buffy turns her head to the bedroom door once again. She can hear voices shouting from beyond the door. William's eyes grow wide as his head jerks to look at the door. Then it opens.

Buffy takes a step back as a woman enters the room and slams the door behind her. She locks the door and pulls William's desk chair beneath the knob to ensure that it won't open again. A loud, angry man's voice, a deep drunken voice, sounds from beyond the door as Buffy looks over the woman's appearance. She wears a long dark gown with long sleeves and what must certainly be an excess of undergarments. Her hair is long and blonde and sits upon her head in an intricate web of curls. Buffy watches as she takes a step back from the door as the pounding continues and turns to William. The boy's face is quite frightened now and the woman picks him up and pulls him to her tightly.

"She's your mom," Buffy says in the softest whisper. Her eyes steal a glance at Spike who's fixated on the scene before them, then Buffy turns back to the boy and his mother.

"Mummy," the boy coos as the woman sits down on the bed with him in her lap. She runs her hands over his head and shushes him as the man on the other side of the door continues to yell incoherently. William's small hands tighten around the yellow marble still in his grasp and his mother begins to hum.

"Father was a lousy drunk, thanked the heavens the year he died… I was twelve," Spike says without taking his eyes off the boy and his mother. Buffy's head jerks back to the door then as another loud thud is heard. The boy's mother's humming grows louder and she runs her hands over young William's ears. Spike looks on completely entranced by the scene before him and Buffy. Then the woman begins to sing.

"Early one morning, just as the sun was rising," the woman sings in a beautiful voice. Beside her Buffy notices Spike twitch. The blonde vampire squeezes his eyes shut as his mother continues to sing. "I heard a maid sing in the valley below." Spike shakes his head and Buffy watches as his features distort. This is it Buffy thinks, this is how their beasty is controlling Spike, this song. Spike drags his fingers through his hair and then his demon emerges. He just looks on for a moment and growls, then with a snort his head snaps to face Buffy and he stares at her with dead yellow eyes; the same eyes he looked at her with when he attacked her in the basement earlier. Empty, evil, yellow eyes. These eye's are not just that of a vampire, they are the eyes of evil itself and as Buffy looks into them she fails to see even a piece of Spike. Spike, is gone.

"Spike!" Buffy yells as he lunges at her, his mouth wide and yellowed teeth gleaming at her. She stumbles backward and nearly trips, but manages to grasp the bookshelf and right herself. He leans in toward her neck, hunger fueling his every move. Buffy places both hands on his shoulders and shoves him back. Spike stumbles back and Buffy steadies herself.

"Spike, I know you're still in there," Buffy says, but all Spike does is throw a punch at her which she easily blocks. "Listen to me… this is how this thing is messing with you," another punch and another miss followed by an angry growl. Buffy's eyes catch young William as he sits in his mother's lap and Spike continues to snarl at her, the yellow marble spins between the boy's fingers. Spike lunges at her again and as she knocks him back across the room a thought comes to mind, the marble is the key. She unclasps it from her fingers and glances at it while Spike rights himself and prepares to charge at her again. Then her eyes meet Spike's yellowed ones as he growls at her. She holds the marble out at arm's reach and Spike pauses for a moment as he sees it. He twitches and shakes his head. Buffy smiles as she sees that she's starting to figure out what's setting off these reactions in Spike.

"Spike?" Buffy calls out to the vampire as he shakes his head once again. He turns away from the marble for a moment and his demon growls fiercely, but as his eyes see the swirling yellow orb again his growl fades and Buffy can see that Spike is trying to get through, is fighting to get through. "Spike, it's just me… Buffy," he shakes his head again. "Come on Spike, you can break this thing's control… I know it… I believe in you." His eyes lock on the marble in her hand and slowly his face returns to normal. He continues to stare at the marble again for a short time longer then his eyes shift up to hers.

"Gay is the garland, fresh are the roses," William's mother continues and there is another loud thud against the door, but Spike is now back to normal and it's obvious that he's going to stay that way. His blue eyes turn from Buffy to focus on the pair sitting on the bed then he looks back to Buffy.

"You okay," the Slayer asks calmly.

"Yeah," Spike replies.

"I think the song was it… what made you go all, you know, grr."

"Thinkin' so too pet… must've been conditioned… bloody mind tricks, that song was the trigger."

"But it's broken now," Buffy says with a hopeful tone and Spike turns to the memory of his mother once again and listens to her sing.

"I ask of the roses, why should I be forsaken? … Why must I here in sorrow remain?" Spike turns back to Buffy again.

"My pop bought me those rocks… only good memory I 'ave of him," Spike says. "Used to think when I played with 'em that when he got like this," Spike nods toward the banging on the door. "That maybe there was still some good inside him." Buffy nods and a wave of silence passes over them both.

"Spike, whatever this thing did to you to… condition you, we broke it. It can't control you anymore." Buffy says. Another pause passes between them. "Come back with me." Spike's head turns to her.

"No... you've got your info... thats it, I won't... Not after what I've done."

"Spike…"

"No!" he yells and storms toward her. "Don't you see?" Spike says as the room begins to darken and slowly slip away. The darkness seeps in around them as his anger and guilt rise. He raises his hands before her just as the bedroom disappears and all that remains is never-ending blackness. The palms of his hands are covered in a thick layer of blood. It drips from his fingertips and falls to the black ground splattering on the rock floor.

"That wasn't your fault!" Buffy shouts as she meets his eyes and sees the pain and guilt that swirl around within them. Her voice echoes into the dark nothingness that surrounds them.

"Doesn't matter, the bottom-eater... having a soul, not having a soul, it's all still me… bloods on my hands and… God Buffy, I don't deserve to live after what I've don'… thought I could, but even with the soul I've still…" A thick crease forms between his eyes and Spike clenches his blood covered fingers so tightly that the white of his bone stretches the skin to its limit.

"Spike, you can be a good man," Buffy says sincerely but Spike shakes his head no. "I know you can be a good man." Spike scoffs.

"Think I can be a good man, a bloody white hat? You don't know… we'll I'm gonna show you." His eyes meet hers then and he takes one strong step toward her and grabs her firmly by the shoulders. Warm blood soaks through the fabric of her shirt but she can't take her eyes off his, and the world once again falls away.






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