The next day they were back at school. In light of Will and Xander no longer speaking, Joyce had driven them. However, she swore that she wouldn’t be doing it every day and that Xander could either get a job to buy his own car or they could take the bus to school.
Buffy and Xander had barely spoken since their argument the day before. They had never had a fight like this before and Buffy had absolutely no idea what to do about it.
‘Maybe I’ve knocked some sense into him,’ she thought. ‘I can only hope that maybe he’ll come around at some point. I mean, I’m certainly not gonna apologize.’
After arriving at school, they went their separate ways without a word to each other. Buffy struggled to open her locker, having forgotten her combination over the break.
“Need some help with that?” a male voice came from behind her.
“Nope,” she said dryly, trying different combination.
“Are we ever gonna talk about the other night?” Riley asked.
“It’s been like a day,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“You didn’t answer any of the text message I sent you yesterday.”
“Maybe I was busy,” she said dismissively. ‘It’s not like you called me to apologize,’ she thought.
“So, what? We’re not gonna talk about this?”
“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” she said. ‘Yes!’ she thought as she finally got her locker open.
“I beg to differ,” he argued.
“Let’s see, you talked to your jackass friend about my brother. Said jackass insulted my brother in the worst possible way. You let him and didn’t back me up. Worst of all is I told you that stuff in confidence cause I thought I could trust you. So, no, there’s nothing for us to talk about,” she finished, slamming her locker door shut.
“Buffy, I’m sorry. But, it’s not like people don’t already talk about them. I mean-“
“You are not making it any better. And I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“So, that’s it?”
“Yup,” she said with a sarcastic smile, shutting her locker and starting to walk away. Riley didn’t take the hint.
“Buffy, c’mon. I said I was sorry,” he pled as he followed her down the hallway.
“And I don’t accept.”
“So, are we done?”
“I don’t know,” she said more seriously, stopping and turning to him.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I need some time, Riley. I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect my family.”
“Buffy, I never-“ he started to argue.
“Just, leave it,” she said, holding up a hand.
“Guess that means we won’t be Facebook official yet,” he tried to joke.
“Guess not,” she said before she turned and walked into her homeroom without another word to him. Luckily, he finally took the hint and didn’t follow her in. She took her usual seat next to Willow, who was early as usual.
“Hey, Buffy!” Willow said in a chipper voice. Only Willow could be excited about being back to school after vacation.
“Hey, Willow,” Buffy returned.
“How was your vacation?” Willow asked.
“Well, it started with me getting high for the first time with Xander and Will and ended with a big blowout between me and Xander.”
“So…good?” Will asked with a nervous smile.
“So not. Also, somewhere in the middle Will and Xander stopped speaking, I saw Will flirt with some waiter, and Steve Olsen called my brother a fag.”
Willow’s eyed widened large at that. “Buffy!” she exclaimed.
“I know, major suckage. Worst Christmas vacation ever,” she said dryly. “Oh, and Riley and I got into it and now we’re kind of on a break.”
“Jeez, and I thought this year’s Hannukah dinner at my Bubby’s was dramatic. All that happened there was my dad and uncle arguing about the state of economy, though it did get very heated,” Willow said.
“Consider yourself lucky,” Buffy said. “I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down.”
“What happened exactly?” Willow asked curiously.
“Well…” Buffy started. She gave Willow a run down of everything that had happened since Christmas. “And now I still don’t know if Will and Xander were a couple,” she finally finished.
“I don’t even know what to say, Buffy. This is like, really serious stuff,” Willow said.
“I know! I had no idea that my asking a simple question could turn into such a mess,” Buffy said with her hands over her face.
“It is so not your fault, Buffy!”
“That’s what Will said. I just can’t help but think that I had something to do with it.”
“Well, from what it sounds like, Xander has some things he needs to work out.”
“You can say that again.”
***
‘I hate this place so much,’ Buffy thought, sitting down at her usual table in the cafeteria. Willow had yet to arrive, so Buffy would have to sit alone awkwardly until she did. She took out her brown bag lunch and watched Riley laughing with his friends across the cafeteria.
‘Jerk. At least he’s not over hear, begging for my forgiveness,’ she thought, when suddenly Will appeared at the table, taking her attention from Riley.
“This seat taken?” he asked, sitting down in the chair across from her before she could answer.
“Please, sit down,” she said sarcastically. Will just smirked at her. “So, what? Now that you and Xander aren’t talking you need a replacement friend?” she asked, making sure to sound annoyed.
“I would never think of you as a replacement, luv,” he said sincerely. “I wanted to see how you were. You were in quite the state the last time I saw you.”
“Oh, god!” she groaned, recalling him bringing her home the other night.
“You don’t remember?” he asked, amusement in his voice.
“Yes, I remember! Mostly…”
“I suppose you remember our kiss then?” he said, raising his eyebrow suggestively.
“What?” she exclaimed, eyes wide.
“Only joking, pet,” he said, laughing at her reaction.
“That I definitely would have remembered!”
“Think so?” he said, smirking. Buffy turned bright red and started pulling things out of her lunch bag to hide her embarrassment. “One day you’ll stop that gorgeous blushing, luv. It’ll break my heart,” he said dramatically, with a hand on his chest.
‘Never,’ she thought to herself, turning even redder. ‘And gorgeous?’ Under different circumstances, Buffy would be thrilled that Will, her older brother’s beautiful best friend whom she was hopelessly in love with, had said such a thing to her. However, now it was Will, her older brother’s most likely gay ex-best friend slash possible ex-lover, saying this to her. Somehow it didn’t have the same appeal.
“Seriously, though, how is everything, kitten?” he asked, leaning on his forearms on the table.
“Um, not so great,” she started slowly. “Xander and I got into a big fight yesterday.”
“Sounds familiar,” he said. “Wanna talk about it?”
“I dunno. Maybe later, with less people around to overhear,” she said hopefully.
He glanced around the crowded cafeteria and nodded. “You’re right, pet. How about you meet me in the art room after school. I’ve got some work to do there, so we can talk and then I’ll drive you home?”
“Okay, but I’ve got some questions for you mister! And this time I want real answers!” she said with resolve, pointing her finger at him.
“Alright then,” he said, surprised at her tone. Getting up from the table he said, “gotta go talk to Mrs. Cobb about my future right now, but I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed, and then he was gone.
***
After the final period, Buffy hurried down the hallway with nervous excitement. She was eagerly anticipating getting real answers from Will and to do that she knew she would have to ask the right questions.
She found him in the art room, sitting at a table with a large sheet of paper spread out in front of him. He was using a piece of charcoal to draw a still life that was set up on a table a few feet away from him.
“You’re drawing flowers?” she asked skeptically, walking up behind him.
“Mrs. Cobb says that observational drawing is a necessity in an art school portfolio,” he explained, not looking up from his work. “Sit down, luv,” he said, gesturing to seat next to him.
“So, you’re actually gonna apply?” she asked, surprised. “That’s great!”
“Yeah,” he said nonchalantly.
“It is great, right?” she asked, surprised at his answer.
He stopped drawing and looked at her. “I suppose it is.” He continued, seeing her raised eyebrow. “Don’t get me wrong, I would love to go. I actually can’t imagine anything I want to do more, but I just don’t know if it’s realistic. My parents can’t afford it, and even if they could I doubt they’d let me go.”
“But your still gonna apply?”
“Mrs. Cobb says there’s always scholarship money. She thinks I have a really good shot at it, so I guess it doesn’t hurt to try. Maybe I’ll be able to get a little money saved up when I start at your mum’s gallery.”
“When are you starting?” she asked, recalling her mother asking him to work for her.
“Tomorrow afternoon. Joyce has a new show coming in and she wants me to help her hang the work. Anyway, the application deadline for most schools is February first, so I’ve gotta get all my work together in time.”
“Well, I think it’s a great idea,” she said with a smile. He started drawing again, but continued talking.
“Thanks, pet. Anyway, we were supposed to be talking about your troubles, not mine,” he said.
“It’s alright. I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Try me.”
“Okay, so Xander and I spent the day with Dad yesterday.”
“Lemme guess! Good ole Hank told him to get off his pansy ass and start working harder and doing manly things like playing football and bagging birds,” Will offered.
“Well, not in so many words, but it was definitely implied. Xander just has this inexplicable need to please him, even though we only see him about ten times a year. Anyway, he basically tells Xander to start thinking about college and to get a girlfriend.”
“Hank is just full of good ideas, isn’t he?” he asked with much sarcasm.
“Always,” she said rolling her eyes. “The worst was when he made a crack that the reason Xander doesn’t have a girlfriend is because people think you two are a couple. Then he laughed as if it were the most hilarious thing in the world.”
“No?” Will asked, eyes wide with surprise.
“Yes. So of course when we get home, Xander starts studying like a good little boy. Then I go to talk to him, trying to be helpful and he acts all avoidy and weird again, saying that Dad is right.”
“Did you tell him what happened on New Year’s Eve?”
“God no! Are you kidding me? He’d never speak to me, or probably you, ever again!”
“It looks like that’s the way it’s gonna be anyway though, pet.”
“Well, I’m hoping he’ll come around. I’m just sick of reaching out to him and having him push me away.”
“Join the club,” Will said, rolling his eyes.
“I pretty much yelled it at him last night,” she added. “Hence the no talky thing that’s happening now.”
“Honestly, pet, I’m really not that surprised that he stopped talking to me. I always had a feeling something like this would happen eventually. But, I never thought he’d do that to you,” he said sincerely.
“Neither did I,” she said quietly, with a pensive look on her face.
“What?” he asked, taking note of her expression.
She turned to him suddenly. “I have some questions,” she stated bluntly.
“About?”
“Everything. Well, mostly about you and Xander. But, I’m going to ask them all and you’re going to tell me the truth, no bullshit,” she said in her most commanding voice.
“Wouldn’t give you anything less,” he said, sounding amused.
“Okay, well…were you and Xander ever a couple?” she asked, starting with the most obvious question.
“I thought I already told you that we weren’t,” he replied.
“I know you did. But, after that day at the café I wasn’t sure anymore.” She looked down at her hands, belying her nervousness despite her previous bravado.
“Well, we never were, luv. Cross my heart,” he said, making the gesture.
“Okay then,” she said slowly, considering her next question. “As much as I really don’t wanna know this, I have to ask. Were you guys maybe like, you know, friends with benefits?”
“No pet, not friends with benefits,” he said, laughing at her expression. “Except for-“
“What?” she asked nervously, eyes wide.
“Well, we did kiss one time. Just once. But, we were both drunk and Xander got all shirty about it afterwards. We haven’t spoke of it since.”
Buffy felt a small flare of jealousy in her, but was mostly relieved at the fact that they hadn’t actually done anything. Then she thought of something else.
“Then why did he get so mad at the coffee shop that day. He seemed really…jealous.”
“I really can’t answer that for you, pet.”
“Okay, this is exactly what I’m talking about. Enough with the cryptic answers. I know you’re all ‘oh, I can’t speak for Xander,’ but can you at least try?” she begged. “I just want to try and understand him. And you know him better than anyone.” Saying that out loud was a weird thing. It was strange to think that Will knew her brother better than she did.
“You wanna know what I really think?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“I think Xander was jealous. Maybe not of me with another guy, but of the fact that I can do that and he can’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that he’s scared. He’s scared to be who he is and he’s jealous and angry that I’m not.”
“So, you think Xander is really gay?”
“Yes, I do,” he said. He had stopped drawing at the start of her questioning, and was now turned in his seat to face her.
“Why is he so afraid?” she asked quietly.
“Why do you think?”
“Because of my dad?” she suggested.
“Well, yeah. But, not just your Dad. There are a lot of other things. Remember what that wanker said to you New Year’s Eve?” he asked, looking into her eyes.
“How could I forget,” she said dryly.
“Try getting called that every day,” he said, hurt showing in his blue eyes.
“I had no idea,” she whispered, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes as she thought of her brother’s pain.
“I know, pet, you couldn’t know. It’s like I told you that night, you weren’t meant to hate like that,” he said with a watery smile.
Will took Buffy’s hands in his and stroked his thumbs over hers. Tears started to fall from her eyes, running down her cheeks. Seeing her tears, Will pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, secure in the feeling of him around her.
“I just wanna be there for him,” she said into his ear. “But he won’t let me.”
“I know the feeling, luv,” he whispered back, rubbing his hands over her back, trying to soothe her.
They sat together like that for a few more minutes until they heard a cough from behind them. They pulled apart quickly, both turning to see whom the noise had come from.
Standing in the doorway was a youngish woman that Buffy recognized as Mrs. Cobb, the art teacher. Buffy had taken a required intro class with her the previous year and remembered liking her. She was about average height, a little taller than Buffy, with long brown hair, big brown eyes and a pretty smile. She was one of those young, hip teachers that girls always looked up to and who the boys would say rude things about when they thought she wasn’t listening. She stood in the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest and a knowing smile on her face.
“Mrs. Cobb,” Will said cheerfully. “I was just working on a piece for my portfolio. Buffy was stopping by for a quick visit.”
She laughed. “It’s okay, William. You’re friend is always welcome. Buffy Summers, right?” she asked, looking at Buffy. “You were in my intro class last year?”
“Yes, I was,” Buffy said shyly, a little embarrassed.
“This is looking really great,” she said to Will, walking over to look at his drawing.
“You think so?” he asked hopefully. “I wasn’t sure if the set up was boring or if I should have used some color or something.”
“No, this is exactly the kind of thing colleges like to see. The real creative stuff comes after you get in,” she added with a smile. Buffy could have sworn she saw Will blush, which almost never happened.
They talked about the drawing for a few more minutes while Buffy zoned out, not fully understanding what they were talking about.
“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Mrs. Cobb said finally, getting ready to leave. “Just make sure you close the door before you go.”
“Will do, Mrs. Cobb,” Will said with a charming smile. “See you tomorrow,” he added.
“Of course. Goodnight William, Buffy,” she said before turning and walking out the door. Will let out a sigh as soon as she was gone.
“God she’s beautiful,” he said wistfully. “Too bad she’s married.”
Buffy was confused. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I thought you were gay?”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's a nice, long chapter for you guys.
Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing!! You're amazing!
Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing!! You're amazing!
Chapter End Notes:
Hopefully that answered some questions for you guys.
I couldn't help but leave a little cliffhanger, but it's okay because I update pretty much every day. :)
Let me know your thoughts!!
I couldn't help but leave a little cliffhanger, but it's okay because I update pretty much every day. :)
Let me know your thoughts!!