Will’s soft lips moved over Buffy’s gently at first, gradually increasing the pressure and intensifying the kiss. When his tongue swiped at the seam of her lips she let him in, tangling her tongue with his, tasting beer and something sweet that she couldn’t identify. She felt hot all over and there was no chance of cooling down, not with the way he was holding her as he moved his hands down to wrap around her waist, pulling her tight against him. She was aware of every sensation that came over her and it was entirely overwhelming; she had to move her hands to his shoulders to steady herself.
The thought that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this crossed her mind again briefly. But, she pushed it away and gave in to the sensations she was feeling. Her arms moved up from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, pushing her fingers into his curly hair. He began to walk them backward toward the bed, keeping their lips locked together, only pulling apart to take a quick breath. He sat down on the bed, pulling her down to straddle his lap. Buffy could feel his erection through the fabric of their clothing and unconsciously ground herself against it.
She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she felt Wills hands on the exposed skin of her lower back. The usual butterflies she felt around Will had increased tenfold, as well as the ache between her legs. That sensation was something she had only recently become aware of, especially since she and Will had started their strange non-relationship. Now it was all she could focus on, that and how she could get even closer to him. She pushed him back to lie down on the bed and they broke apart, breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes with expressions of lust and confusion.
Apparently, they both decided that lust overruled any doubts they might have and they dove in for more. Tongues tangled and hands began to move more boldly across each other’s bodies. Their hips stayed connected, rubbing against each other for some sort of release. Will started to move his hands upward, caressing her breasts over her shirt. Buffy didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that she had foregone a bra that day. It was only when she felt his hand slip under her top that she became aware of what was happening and pulled away.
“What are we doing?” she whispered, still in a lust-filled daze.
She sat up, but didn’t get off of him, not ready to break the contact. Will rose up on his elbows and looked up to her. His lips looked swollen and had a light smearing of the pink lip-gloss she had been wearing.
“If you don’t know, luv, then maybe you aren’t ready to be doing it,” he joked half-heartedly, lacking his usual bravado.
“Stop,” she said, sounding tired. “I thought…we weren’t going to do this.”
“Didn’t plan on it, pet. It kind of just…happened.”
“Wait…are you drunk?” she asked, remembering the beer he had been drinking. To Buffy, the most logical reason behind his kissing her was alcohol. After all, it had played a part in two out of three of their previous kisses.
“No, I’m not drunk,” he protested. “I had half a sodding beer.”
“Why did you kiss me then?” she asked.
“Because I wanted to!” he exclaimed, sitting up.
The move caused her to feel him, still hard, beneath her and she moved off of him quickly, sitting down a few feet away from him on the bed. Will squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his jaw in a gesture of frustration. When he opened his eyes again, he turned to her and stared her boldly in the face.
“I always want to kiss you, Buffy,” he said, voice taking on a desperate intensity. “Do you realize how bloody frustrating these past months have been? To be so close to you and not be able to…” he trailed off, reaching a hand out toward her, then pulling it back.
“Of course I realize it! Don’t you think I feel the same way?” she cried. “I want to kiss you all the time, too,” she confessed quietly.
They looked at each other for a few moments, each waiting for the other to speak.
“Why don’t we just let it happen?” he asked, breaking their staring contest.
“What do you mean?” she replied, confused.
“The kissing, I mean. Why don’t we just…give in?”
“Will…that can’t possibly work,” she said, shaking her head.
“Why not? I want you and you want me. We should just stop denying what we so obviously both need.”
“So, it’s just a sex thing then?” she asked, frowning. ‘That is so not what I need.’
“No, it doesn’t have to be.”
“What would you call it then?” Buffy narrowed her eyes, skeptical of what he was proposing.
“We don’t have to label it,” he said. “We can just…be.”
“And what about when you leave?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“But, I still don’t understand how-“
“Buffy, I’m tired of pretending I don’t want to be with you,” he said. “I mean, we’re basically two steps away from a relationship as it is, so we might as well-“
“That’s what Anya said,” she said, smiling wryly.
“About what?”
“That we’re basically in a relationship already, and that denying our feelings isn’t going to make the end any easier.”
“Who says it has to end?” he said, looking as if he had just had an epiphany.
“You did!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. “You’re the one who said it could never work because you’re leaving at the end of the summer.”
“I know, but…people make it work all the time, don’t they?”
“Yeah, I guess. But, long distance relationships crash and burn all the time, too.”
“Yeah, but don’t you want to find out if it’s worth the risk?” he asked, reaching for her hand.
“I don’t know,” she said, moving her hand out of his reach.
“Buffy, any relationship worth having is a risk,” he said pleadingly.
“So now we’re in a relationship?” she asked sarcastically. “I thought we weren’t labeling it.”
“I just meant that…we’ll take it slow,” he explained. “I’m not gonna pressure you into anything. I just want to be with you. We shouldn’t have to pretend we don’t feel anything for each other.”
“I know,” she agreed quietly. “I’m just…afraid.”
“So am I, Buffy. But, we can be afraid together.”
“But, what if it ends?” she asked. She felt the all too familiar feeling of tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, but willed herself not to spill them.
“What if it doesn’t?” he countered. “We could go back and forth about this all night. And there are any number of scenarios where this ends. But, there are also any number where it doesn’t. This friend thing isn’t working…obviously,” he said, looking down at his erection, which hadn’t gone down completely.
“I know it’s not,” she agreed, blushing. “But, do you really think we can do this?”
“I think we can do anything we want,” he said with a soft smile.
Buffy thought about exactly what he was proposing. It was something they had both agreed was a bad idea, but now it had suddenly become a very real possibility and as much as she thought that it couldn’t work, all she wanted to do was just say yes.
“Well,” she started, making up her mind. “I really want to kiss you again. Can we do that?” she asked, with a coy look, moving closer to him on the bed.
“I think we could manage that,” he said, blue eyes lighting up with happiness at her request.
Will pulled Buffy toward him, and they settled onto the bed facing each other. He reached out a hand and brushed her hair out of her face.
“Are we being stupid?” she asked, becoming hesitant again.
“There’s nothing stupid about you and me together,” he replied.
Buffy couldn’t help but smile at his words, which made her feel warm all over. So she decided to make the first move this time, leaning forward to capture his lips with hers. Will hand immediately moved to her waist, but didn’t pull her against him this time. She supposed that he was trying to let her set the pace and not pressure her, but all she wanted to do was feel his body pressed against hers. She moved closer to him until the length of their bodies came into contact. It was an exhilarating feeling, finally being this close to him and not worrying about having to stop. She hoped they weren’t making a big mistake by starting something three months before he left for school. But, when she was wrapped in his arms, tasting him, feeling him, she couldn’t bring herself to care.
**
When Will dropped Buffy off at home, just in time for her curfew, she felt like she was walking on air. She couldn’t get rid of the smile that had permanently fixed itself on her face. She felt as if any moment she would burst out into some cheesy Disney song and twirl around like a little kid. She had never felt this happy before in her life and any doubt she might have had earlier had all but left her. Right now she just wanted to revel in his affection and enjoy it while she could.
She closed the door behind her after she walked inside and immediately peeked out the window so she could watch him drive away, still unable to stop smiling.
“What’s with all the happy?” she heard Xander’s voice come from the living room.
She hadn’t even realized he was there, even though the sound of the T.V. was fairly loud. She turned to walk into the living room where Xander and Anya were parked on opposite ends of the couch. They both looked at her curiously and Buffy supposed her demeanor was more obvious than she had thought.
She didn’t want to explain to Xander about her new relationship status. He would be less than pleased about it. She could only hope that Anya wouldn’t say something observant and embarrassing and give it all away.
“She has an ‘I’m so in love’ smile.” No such luck…but less vulgar than Buffy had anticipated.
“What are you talking about?” she said, trying to play it off as nothing.
“Your smile,” Anya said. “You have the smile of someone who’s in love for the first time, requited of course. Characters in romantic comedies often have that look after they enter the blissful part of the relationship,” she explained.
“Why would Buffy…” Xander started, then widened his eyes with realization. “Please don’t tell me…you and Will?”
“Um…yeah,” she said, deciding it was easier to just tell him now than try to hide it. Her smile had waned for the first time in hours.
“What happened to knowing it was a colossally bad idea?” he asked.
“I dunno, it kind of just happened,” she explained nervously, not looking at him.
“You didn’t sleep with him, did you?” Xander blurted out.
“No, I didn’t,” she said, becoming irritated by his outburst. “But, if I did it wouldn’t be any of your business.”
“Fine,” he said with a huff. “But, don’t come crying to me when he leaves for New York and dumps you for some college girl…or guy for that matter!”
“Why do you have to ruin everything?” Buffy asked, feeling tears come on at his nasty tone.
“Xander,” Anya scolded him, slapping him on the arm. “Why do you have to be such an ass?”
Buffy turned and ran upstairs to her room, not wanting to hear another word from Xander. She heard footsteps behind her, and ran faster, not wanting him to follow her. She locked her door and flopped down on her bed, feeling an array of conflicting emotions. ‘Leave it to Xander to ruin my high.’
“Buffy?” she heard from outside her door with a light knocking.
She was relieved to realize that it was Anya and not Xander. She got up an unlocked the door, letting Anya into her room, then retreating back to her bed.
“Girls are supposed to do this kind of thing, right? Comfort each other when some stupid man wrongs them?” Anya asked in her typical fashion, sitting at the end of Buffy’s bed.
Buffy couldn’t suppress a watery giggle. “Yeah,” she said. “Even when said stupid man is her brother.”
“So you and Will are finally enjoying each other…in a carnal sense?” Anya asked, getting right to the chase.
“Um...yeah, I guess. We haven’t, you know, done it yet. I mean, we just got together tonight.”
“So no more with the denial then?”
“Nope. Denial free. We’re gonna give this a try,” she said, trying to sound enthusiastic, as Xander had crushed most of her happiness from earlier.
“Good,” Anya said resolutely. “Frankly, I was getting sick of all your whining about not being able to be with him.”
“Thanks,” Buffy said sarcastically.
“Well, as long as he makes you happy,” Anya said with an encouraging smile.
“He does,” Buffy said, returning the smile. “He really does.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
How does everyone feel about this turn of events?
Also, I may or may not cut the story off soon then continue it in a sequel. The more I think about it the more it seems like the second "part" of the story could stand alone...I'm also worried about it being way too long. Thoughts on this?
Also, I may or may not cut the story off soon then continue it in a sequel. The more I think about it the more it seems like the second "part" of the story could stand alone...I'm also worried about it being way too long. Thoughts on this?