Heart pounding, Buffy opened the front door of her house. She had no clue what she was going to do when she saw Xander. She had spent the whole torturous bus ride deciding what she was going to say, getting reassurances from Willow all the while. However, nothing reduced the churning of her stomach at the thought of the conversation she needed to have with her brother.
There was no sign of Xander on the first floor and Buffy figured he was in his room. She took the opportunity to go into the bathroom and pop some ibuprofen. The brain aerobics she had been going through for the past few hours had given her a throbbing headache. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment before splashing some water on here face.
‘Calm down, Buffy,’ she told herself, trying to eliminate the panicked look she was sure was evident on her face.
As she was about to exit the bathroom, she heard Xander pounding down the stairs. She took a deep breath and went to find him. As she walked into the kitchen, she was met with Xander’s backside. He had his head in the pantry and was rifling through all the snacks inside. She knew from that and the aroma that followed in his wake that she wouldn’t be asking him today.
A moment later he turned toward her, a handful of cheez-its already in his mouth.
“Hey, Buffster,” he said around a mouthful of food. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “I have homework.” At that, she picked up her bag and rushed up to her room. She knew she couldn’t possibly ask him when he was high; it just wasn’t the right time.
***
As it turned out, it was quite difficult for Buffy to find the “right time.” About a month past and Buffy became complacent with the information she held, at least most of the time. As it turned out, Will and Xander were quite easy to avoid, with the exception of rides to and from school. Will and Xander were still the same as they’d always been, so she felt no need to rock the boat quite yet.
However, school was a different story. Since she had heard the rumor from Cordelia, it seemed like it was all she heard from her peers. Every time anyone saw Will or Xander, there were whispers and giggle that consumed Buffy’s mind. She knew there was only so long she could go on before she had the talk with Xander.
One thing that the news had done was force Buffy to at least attempt getting over Will. ‘I can’t be hopelessly in love with a boy who likes other boys,’ she had told herself many times.
So, in the month that had past, Buffy had gone out with Riley a few times. She wasn’t sure that he was her boyfriend yet, but they had gone to a few of Cordelia’s parties together, as well as to the movies once. Riley was a gentleman always, only giving the small affections that Buffy allowed, like holding her hand or kissing her on her cheek at the end of the night. Buffy even found that dating Riley had its benefits, like making her slightly more popular. Even thought she disliked many of the kids from the popular crowd, it felt nice to be accepted. It also gave her other things to do than sit at home and worry about her brother and Will.
Any unusual behavior went unnoticed by Xander, who had always been oblivious to Buffy’s moods. Will, however, was much more perceptive and about a week after the incident, had questioned Buffy.
“What’s your deal, pet?” he had abruptly asked her. They were sitting in the Summers’ kitchen one morning, waiting for Xander to come downstairs to leave for school.
She had been staring at her cereal bowl, avoiding any eye contact with Will. He had probably noticed that she wasn’t sneaking glances at him every chance, like she usually did.
“What are you talking about?” she said, trying to act nonchalant.
“You. You’ve been acting weird all week,” he accused.
“I have not. I’m the same old Buffy. Just fine. Great, in fact!” she said with fake enthusiasm.
“That’s an awful lot of explanations, Buffy,” he said seriously. He never called her Buffy, either, which made her sober up.
“It’s nothing, really.”
“If you say so, kitten,” he looked at her through narrowed eyes. “You might think I can’t read you, but I’ve known you since you were ten. I can tell when something’s up.”
She looked into his eyes defiantly. “Really Will, it’s nothing.”
Before he had a chance to respond, Xander came into the kitchen, backpack slung over one shoulder. He grabbed a poptart from the pantry and started eating, not noticing the tension between Buffy and Will.
“C’mon guys,” he said with his mouth full. “Don’t wanna be late!” he called out as he started toward the front door.
Buffy quickly grabbed her things and followed after Xander, eager to escape Will’s scrutiny. She was safe for the time being and Will and Xander went into their usual routine of fighting over the radio in the car. She sat in the back seat and breathed a sigh of relief.
Will hadn’t brought it up since then.
***
So here Buffy was, a month later and nowhere closer to knowing the truth.
Christmas was about a week away and all the students were getting restless in anticipation of the holiday break. Buffy sat in study hall, half-heartedly attempting to do her math homework. Kids around her weren’t working either, most of them talking about their plans for the upcoming vacation week. She overheard Cordelia loudly boasting about her yearly jaunt to Aspen, where she would no doubt spend no time skiing and most of the time shopping.
Ever since their parents had divorced, Buffy, Xander and Joyce spent the holiday in Tahoe at Joyce’s sister’s condo. It was something that Buffy anticipated eagerly every year, as she loved seeing snow during Christmas. Last year, Will had come with them for the first time, his parents not really caring about holidays. He was set to come with them again this year; something Buffy was no longer as excited about, as she would have been previously. She didn’t relish spending a week trapped inside with Will and Xander.
‘Maybe I’ll actually try skiing this year,’ she thought.
Usually, she and Xander spent the week inside, drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies. Last year, with Will added to the equation, they had added playing video games to their holiday activities. Buffy didn’t know how she was going to spend a week in such close quarters with the two boys without giving something away.
***
Buffy was stuck without a ride that afternoon. Will and Xander had skipped out early again. Lucky for Buffy, her kind of boyfriend had a car and was more than happy to drive her home. She knew that Riley was eager for more to happen between them, though he never pressured her. Buffy knew that he wouldn’t be patient forever and knew that she had to make a decision about him.
They had driven home in a comfortable silence, Riley glancing at Buffy with a smile every so often. She would return it, albeit half-heartedly. Her mind was focused, once again, on Will and Xander.
Riley stopped the car in front of her house. He turned to her with concern on his face,
“You okay?” he asked with a gentle smile.
“Yeah,” she started quickly, then hesitated. “Actually, can I ask you something?”
Buffy figured that if her and Riley were going to continue to date, then she should be able to talk to him about personal things.
“Of course,” he said.
“Do you think my brother and Will are together?” she asked nervously.
Riley hesitated a moment before answering, “Well, yeah.”
“Oh, I see.”
“You mean they’re not?” He looked confused.
“No! I mean, I actually don’t know. I didn’t think they were, but then Cordelia said that everyone thought so. Willow doesn’t even listen to gossip and she thinks so! I mean, she still thinks I should ask Xander about it, but I haven’t been able to find a time yet. It’s just, how do you ask your brother something like that. And I keep hearing things from other kids. Just the other day I-“
“Whoa, Buffy. Chill for a minute.”
Buffy hadn’t realized she was babbling.
“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” she said with a blush. “I just don’t know what to do,” she said meekly.
“Well, I gotta say I agree with Willow. You’re never gonna know the truth until you talk to him. Though, I hate to tell you, it seems pretty obvious to me and mostly everyone else at school.” He looked at her sympathetically.
“I think you’re right.”
“Have you talked to your mom about it?” he asked.
“No, I don’t want to worry her, especially if it winds up not being true.”
“Yeah, I can understand that.”
“Thanks, Riley,” she leaned over to hug him.
“Anytime, Buffy,” he said as he returned the embrace.
She pulled away and picked up her bag, ready to get out of the car. She noticed the goofy smile on Riley’s face; no doubt it caused by the hug she had given him. Buffy rarely initiated contact between them, so Riley had to take it when he could get it.
She smiled back at him as she bid him goodbye and went into the house. Xander was surprisingly sitting at the kitchen table; textbooks were laid out in front of him as he stared intently at the pages, brow furrowed. He looked up when he heard Buffy enter.
“Hey, Buff,” he said with a goofy smile. “How’s life in the world of Buffy today?”
“Um, fine. Riley gave me a ride home.”
“Ah, Captain Cardboard!” he said. Taking in Buffy’s death glare he amended, “Will made it up, not me!”
“Sounds like something he would say,” she said with an eye roll as she turned to take some juice out of the fridge.
‘It’s now or never,” she decided as she poured herself a glass.
“Xan,” she started. He looked up. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“I’ve heard some things at school. Things about…you and Will.” She paused for a moment, working up the courage to continue.
“What do you mean?” Xander asked skeptically.
“Well, um…” She pressed on, “that you guys are together.”
She looked intently at Xander’s face, trying to gauge his reaction to what she had just said. She couldn’t possibly have anticipated the hysterical laughter that came a moment later. She was so shocked at his reaction that her mouth dropped open a bit as she waited for him to either stop laughing, or say something.
He eventually sobered. “Buffy, you can’t believe everything people tell you at school.”
“I know, Xan. It’s just, everyone says it. And, I mean, I can’t really blame them. Just look at-“
“Buffy!” he stopped her. “Kids will talk. That’s just the way high school is.””
“Yeah, I guess…”
“Who’d you hear it from anyway?”
“Cordelia Chase.”
At that, he let out a quick burst of laughter.
“Cordelia Chase is the biggest gossip at Sunnydale High. She’s say anything to get a rise out of someone! You know that better than anyone, Buff.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she resigned.
“Really, Buffy, its-“
He was cut off by the sound of a door slamming.
“Hello?” a voice called out.
It was Will, as Buffy had expected. He practically lived there, and therefore never knocked before he came in.
Xander turned from Buffy and toward the doorway where Will appeared a moment later.
“You ready to do that history paper?” Will smirked from the doorway.
“Yeah,” Xander began to gather his books up. “I need to get a least a B, so we’re in for a long night.”
“Right then,” Will said with a nod. “Better get to work.”
“But, Xan,” Buffy protested as the two began to leave the room.
“Later, Buff,” Xander said more forcefully than he usually would.
They continued out of the room. Will shot a quick glance back at Buffy as he followed Xander upstairs.
“What was that about?” Buffy heard Will ask Xander.
“Family stuff,” Xander replied.
Buffy was stunned by what had just happened. She couldn’t help but feel that she was no closer to the truth than she had been before, even with Xander’s hysterical reaction. He had been so quick to brush her off when Will walked in. Obviously, he didn’t want Will to know about what they had been talking about.
“Oh my god,” Buffy said aloud to herself as she realized that Xander hadn’t actually answered her question.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to everyone who had reviewed so far! You're interest has only served to make me write more.
Chapter End Notes:
The conversation between Buffy and Xander was kind of difficult to write. I hope it makes sense to everyone.
Thanks for reading!!!
Please review! Just something to let me know you're reading!
Thanks for reading!!!
Please review! Just something to let me know you're reading!