Chapter 6
Finding Faith
Buffy slowly started to stir under her covers, the sun was peeking through her curtains just enough to annoy her. She sat up with a groan, her head was pounding and she felt like she had cotton wool in her mouth. She swore from this moment on that she would never touch another alcoholic beverage again.
The events of the night before suddenly came flooding back. She remembered seeing Spike with that shank Harmony and getting overwhelmed with jealousy, she had then proceeded to drown her sorrows at the bar before hitting the dancing floor.
Not long after that, Willow had dragged her off, probably not a bad thing considering the amount she’d had to drink and the amount of guys around her who were getting a little too grabby. Then, of course, Spike had spotted them leaving and insisted he take her home.
Straining her mind, she tried to remember the walk to the car or the trip home and after a few moments it hit her like a ton of bricks. She had pushed her brother against his car and proceeded to give him one hell of a blowjob.
“Oh my god!” her mind screamed at her but then she realised he had let her, after a few short lived protests he had caved and enjoyed everything she had done to him. That made her feel a little better, maybe now they can really talk and maybe try and make things work between them, she knew her parents would be angry but maybe with time they would understand.... she hoped.
Swinging her legs over the bed she decided to shower and change before heading down stairs. She found Spike in the kitchen again, this time reading the paper and drinking coffee.
“Morning.” She spook shyly. He looked up, clearly nervous she could see it in his eyes and braced herself for the morning “but” conversation.
“Morning pet, how are you feeling?”
“I’ve felt better, That’s for sure. Drinking and Buffy are clearly unmixy things” She laughed softly, pulling up a stool across from him. He passed her two aspirin and a glass of juice which she eagerly took. “Thanks”
“So, you want to explain why you got plastered last night?”
“It was stupid. I don’t remember drinking that much, I only had three of those Tequila sunrises”
“Yeah at a frat party! Half the bloody drink was probably tequila.”
“Now that I think of it, it did taste pretty strong,” She cringed just thinking about it.
“Buffy, this is worrying me,” she looked down worried. She thought for sure he was talking about what had happened between them so his next words shocked her. “This just isn’t like you Buffy, first I find you in an ally with a guy you hardly know and then last night you get totally wasted, I know I said yesterday that this was the age for mistakes but I think you're taking it a little too far.”
“What?” She asked stunned.
“Buffy, I don’t want to have to call mum and dad but if this behaviour keeps up, I will.” He said, sternly looking at her. She felt rage boil inside her, how dare he do this.
“What a joke!” She spat standing from her chair and storming out of the kitchen. She only got as far as the staircase before he grasped her arm and forced her to face him.
“I’m serious, Buffy.”
“No, you’re a joke; this whole conversation is a joke! You really want to play the big brother card? You didn’t mind my behaviour last night, when I was sucking your cock!” She yelled.
“Would you keep your voice down, we do have neighbours and I would rather this didn’t spread through town” He hissed, pulling her arm from his grasp she looked at him with fire in her eyes.
“Right because I’m just your dirty little secret, covenant when you have an itch that needs scratching?”
“Stop it! It wasn’t like that.” He yelled, taking a much needed deep breath he tried to control his temper before continuing, “But it was a mistake and it shouldn’t have happened” He told her speaking more calmly.
“Screw you,” she hissed, moving up the stairs. “You know what, forget this whole thing. I can’t believe I was so stupid, I thought I saw something in you, something good... I was very wrong,” she whispered.
“Buffy....”
“I'll stay out of your way from now on,” she replied, before running up the stairs and retreating into her bedroom slamming the door behind her.
Spike felt like his insides were all twisted up in knots. How had he made such a mess of things? Why had he crossed that line last night? Why had he been so weak? He had thought this morning that the best approach was to act like nothing had happened, like nothing had changed, but something had happened and everything had changed, he knew that now.
Buffy slammed her door hard enough that the wall shook under the force of it. She felt so stupid; she leaned against the door fighting the tears that were building in her eyes. No longer able to hold it in, she slid down the door cupping her knees to her chest as she sobbed.
She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t spend the next week and a half with him. Standing up she moved across her room, picking up the phone she dialled the first person she thought of.
“Hello” She heard the familiar voice say.
“Faith, I need a favour,” she sobbed quietly.
It had been two days, two very long days since his fight with Buffy and he couldn’t possibly feel any lower. He should have known better then to try and pretend nothing had happened between them that night, to try and suddenly play the big brother roll.
He had called all her friends and gone to all her usual hang outs but no one had seen or heard from her and as much as he didn’t want to worry their parents he knew he had no choice, picking up the phone he dialled one of the contact numbers their parents had left for them.
“Hello” He heard his father’s voice.
“Hey dad, how goes the honeymoon?” he asked trying not to sound worried.
“Oh William, its going very well, Joyce and I are having a lovely time together”
“I’m glad,” he cringed, he hated that he was going to be the one to ruin their holiday “Listen dad, I haven’t heard from Buffy in a couple of days and... well I’m starting to worry,”
“Well Joyce spoke with her just an hour ago”
“What?” Spike asked stunned.
“Yes, she called two days ago asking if it would be okay for her to go visit with her cousin Faith in L.A”
“Faith... that’s Joyce’s sister Nikki’s daughter, right?”
“That’s right. Faith moved to L.A just a few months ago and Buffy has been wanting to visit for a while, she caught the bus there, she said she left you a note”
“Well, I haven’t seen any note,” Spike hissed annoyed.
“She said she left it on her bed but not to worry when she called hour ago, it was to tell Joyce she would be returning home this evening”
“Oh ok well I guess I’ll see her then,”
“Did you two have a falling out?” Giles asked concerned.
“Why do you ask?”
“Well, Joyce got the feeling Buffy was upset when she called and I must say, you sound a little out of sorts yourself,”
“No dad, we’re fine.... just getting to each other, I think,” Spike lied, “Don’t worry, you guys just enjoy your break and we’ll see you when you get back.”
“Very well, but remember we are only a phone call away”
“Thanks dad, bye.”
“Bye.” Spike sighed hanging up. Moving upstairs he walked into Buffy’s room. Sure enough there was a note at the end of her bed. Picking it up he begun to read.
Spike
I have gone to see Faith in L.A, already cleared it with mum and dad.
Buffy
P.S Don’t follow me
How well did she know him? True, had he found this note earlier the first thing he would want to do is follow her to L.A and try to make things right between them, but he knew there was no point now. No, she would be home this afternoon, hopefully before he left for his gig at the Bronze.
Buffy stood outside the front of her house looking at the door; she knew Spike was inside cause she could hear his music playing. She had wanted to stay with Faith till her parents returned but Faith wouldn’t let her, not after she found out why she was there.
Flashback
Buffy sat on the bed in her cousin’s guest room. She had arrived in L.A two hours ago but Faith was still working so she had left a spare key in a hidden spot for her to get in with. Buffy had spent the better part of the last two hours crying, but when she heard Faith return home she fought to dry her tears.
Hey B, I’m home” she greeted, walking into her room. Faith took one look at Buffy’s red swollen eyes and knew the younger girls visit was more than just about her want to spend some time with her cousin.
So B, you wanna tell me what has go you so heartbroken?” Buffy looked up, shrugging as Faith took a seat on the bed next to her.
”Nothing. I’m fine, really,” she replied, trying to force a fake smile on her face.
”Yeah sure and I really like guys,” Buffy laughed softly at this. Faith had come out about being a lesbian many years ago, she was even dating a young woman named Kennedy for two years now and were now living together in L.A
”I think Kennedy will be hurt to hear that,” Buffy joked. Faith smiled, glad to see Buffy joking at least.
”So, guy or girl?”
”Guy.” Buffy whispered.
”What’s this guy’s name?”
”I can’t tell you.... he’s... you would be angry with me... you wouldn’t understand,” Buffy whispered, looking down as she played with the edge of her shirt.
”Buffy, there is nothing you could do or say that would make me be angry with you... I’m guessing by the way you're reluctant to tell me who it is, I know them and maybe this relationship isn’t what you would call conventional?”
”Yeah.”
”Is he older than you?” Buffy nodded “Is that why people wouldn’t understand?” Buffy shook her head, still not looking up “Buffy, look at me.” She said, forcing her cousin to look her in the eyes. “I’m not going to be mad, I’m not going to think any different or less of you, so please tell me what is going on... you can trust me.” Faith smiled. Buffy took a deep breath, deciding she need to take this chance, she couldn’t keep it all bottled up any more.
”It’s.... it’s Spike,”
”Spike as in William, your brother?” She asked, a little surprised. Buffy looked away immediately ashamed.
”You think I’m disgusting.” Buffy cried softly, unable to control her tears.
”No. No Buffy, of course not, I’m just a little surprised,” Faith felt like her heart was twisting up in knots. Buffy was like a sister to her, she had defended her when she had “come out” and while her family was okay with her sexuality now, to start with Buffy had been the only one to stand by her. Now, she had a chance to make things better for Buffy, but she knew she couldn’t cross that line, not only would her own mother kill her but so would Joyce. Taking a deep breath, she tried to think of the best thing to say to comfort her.
”Buffy, we don’t choose who we fall in love with, it just happens, I’m proof of that. Sometimes it’s just meant to be, it’s fate and there is no point in fighting fate, you just have to dance with it....grab hold and enjoy the ride,” she said, stroking her hair gently. Buffy looked up.
”You’re not grossed out by me?”
”Of course not, you're like a sister to me B and I will love you no matter what... things will work out, I promise... now, I don’t mind you hiding here for a couple of days, but you have to face him sooner or later.”
”I would rather later thanks.” Faith laughed softly at this, hugging her cousin close placing a soft kiss on Buffy’s forehead. She wished she could do more to comfort her, but she hoped with time things would work out for Buffy and Spike.
End of flashback
Buffy took a much needed deep breath, she knew she had to face him, even as much as she wanted to avoid him, she knew she couldn’t. She loved him and as much as she wanted to be with him it was beyond clear now that he didn’t want the same thing. So in a week and two days, their parents would be home and Spike would leave for college, at least then maybe she would move on with her life, maybe then it would be easier without him not always around.... she hoped. Picking up her bags she headed inside.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Buffy and Spike "talk".
A HUIGE thank you to my lovely beta Puppetcancer for going over this chapter for me so quickly *hugs*. Also MASSIVE thank you to Edgehead (Mel) for the amazing banner you the best hun!.
A HUIGE thank you to my lovely beta Puppetcancer for going over this chapter for me so quickly *hugs*. Also MASSIVE thank you to Edgehead (Mel) for the amazing banner you the best hun!.
Chapter End Notes:
Any good? should i continue? let me know.