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Author's Chapter Notes:
Buffy makes an attempt to move on.

A HUIGE thank you to my lovely beta Puppetcancer for going over this chapter for me. Also MASSIVE thank you to Edgehead (Mel) for the amazing banner you the best hun!.
Chapter 7

Hot & cold

Buffy took a much needed deep breath, she knew she had to face him, even as much as she wanted to avoid him, she knew she couldn’t. She loved him and as much as she wanted to be with him, it was beyond clear now that he didn’t want the same thing. So a week and two days, one week and two days their parents would be home and Spike would leave for college at least then maybe she would move on with her life, maybe then it would be easier without him not always around.... she hoped. Picking up her bags she headed inside.

Walking through the front door, she shut it quietly behind her hoping that maybe she could retreat to her room without being noticed, but as she started to climb the stairs she knew she was out of luck.

“Buffy.” she heard his angry voice behind her. Taking a deep breath she turned to him. “Where the hell have you been?” he bellowed moving up a few stairs so he was standing right in front of her.

“At Faith’s, I left a note.”

“Yeah on your bed in your bedroom, the one place I wouldn’t look for one.” he snapped.

“That’s not my problem,” she replied, turning and moving up the stairs quickly. She made it into her room but as she turned to shut her door, she came face to face with him.

“It is your bloody problem, I have been worried sick. I called all of your friends; I drove around for days trying to find you before I finally called mum and dad.”

“I already cleared it with them.”

“Yeah so I was told after two days of trying to find you and worrying. For all I knew you were dead in some gutter.” he snapped. She couldn’t help but feel bad.

“Buffy, you did this to punish me, you knew I would never invade your privacy and go into your room.”

“Maybe you're right,” she whispered looking up at him, “Maybe I did do it to punish you, maybe I wanted you to feel the pain and uncertainty I have been feeling for almost a week,” he sighed, feeling guilt slam into him.

“Buffy....” he whispered.

“Don’t, please just don’t. You have made your feelings very clear and I just want to forget about everything. Can we just pretend the last week never happened and move on with our lives?” she almost begged.

“Is that what you want?” he asked unsure, he felt sick to his stomach, he knew this was the right course, they could never be together no matter how much he wanted her and after all, he had been the one to push her away.

“Yes.”

“Okay then we just forget about it all.”

“Good, now if you’ll excuse me I have to shower and change, I promised Cordy and Willow I would go to the Bronze with them tonight.” He simply nodded, letting her shut her door. He sighed placing his hand on her door.

“I love you so much, all I want is to spend forever with you but I don’t deserve you luv... I’m so sorry for causing you pain.” He whispered before walking away, Buffy never hearing his admission.

Buffy walked into the Bronze that night with not just Willow and Cordy but also Anya and Fred. Buffy noticed immediately that Spike’s band was playing. Stopping for a moment she wondered if it would be better to leave, deciding against it she found a table had been reserved for her and her friends.

Sitting down they ordered a round of coke before hitting the dance floor together. The girls danced and laughed through a few songs before heading back to their table, that is when Buffy was approached.

“Hi, you're Buffy Giles, right?” Buffy turned towards the familiar voice to see Riley, a boy she went to school with. He was on the school football team and fairly popular, but Buffy had never really shown him much interest. Truth was Buffy had only ever had a few boyfriends and they had never lasted long mostly because they were not Spike.

”No not thinking about that, you guys can never be so it’s time to let go of that fantasy and move on” her mind quickly reminded her. Riley was a nice, good looking guy who wasn’t in any way related to her so why not give him a chance?

“Yeah, hi Riley” she smiled.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked shyly.

“Sure,” she replied taking his hand and slipping from her stool. Moving to the dance floor as if on cue a slow song began to play. Slipping into Riley’s arms they swayed slowly together. Buffy had to admit this was nice, even though Riley wasn’t really her type it was nice to just relax and enjoy a guys company without any expectations or awkwardness.

Spike continued to sing even though all he wanted to do was jump off stage and rip Riley’s head off his shoulders. Riley was a nice enough guy for being as boring as grit. He knew there was no way a guy like that could satisfy a woman like Buffy. He wondered for a moment if Buffy was trying to make him jealous but the fact that she wasn’t dancing like she had that night with Cameron and she hadn’t looked at him even once made him doubt it.

After the song finished Buffy and Riley headed back to the table. Spike noticed Buffy grabbing her things and saying goodnight to her friends. Announcing a break Spike ran off stage and out the front entrance where he found Buffy laughing at something Riley said.

“Buffy,” she turned to face Spike.

“Just give me a second okay,” she smiled at Riley who nodded. Buffy walked over to Spike “What’s up?”

“Where are you going?” he asked protectively.

“I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. This isn’t a repeat of Cameron, I’m not headed for some ally or back to his place, we’re just going to the espresso pump for coffee, to get to know each other better.” she reassured him.

“Oh, okay,” he whispered feeling gutted.

“You working late tonight?”

“Yeah, I won’t be home till after two.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you in the morning,” she replied, walking back to Riley

“Who was that?” he heard Riley ask her. Spike wasn’t surprised he didn’t know him. Spike was older than him and ran with a totally different crowd.

“He’s just my brother,” she explained. Spike felt like his heart was ripped right out of his chest He’s just my brother” those words would torture him forever.

He knew he had no right to feel this way, jealous, hurt, angry. It all boiled through him threatening to spill out but he knew he had done this, he had pushed her to this. He had spent the past week stringing her along and giving her mix signals. One second he was hot the next he was ice cold.

He had convinced her they could and would never be, that it was wrong... now he just had to convince himself.

Buffy and Riley had spent two hours at the espresso pump getting to know each other over many coffees, she had to admit he was a really nice guy, sweet, funny, kind but still there was something missing... a spark.

There was no spark there for her, while she was sure Riley and her would make great friends in a relationship she just didn’t see much or a future but she decided she was young its not like she was looking for her husband to be she was looking to connect with someone and she and Riley had connected on some level.

Riley pulled up out the front of her house, hopping out of his car he moved around to open her door. Buffy smiled at his chivalry ”How sweet” she couldn’t help but think, after stepping out of the car Riley shut the door behind her before walking her to her front door.

“I had fun tonight Buffy, it was really great getting to know you a bit better.”

“Me too, Riley,” she smiled, getting her house keys out of her handbag.

“Buffy, I was wondering if maybe you would have dinner with me on Friday night?” he asked shyly.

“Like a date?” she asked a little unsure.

“Yeah,” Buffy paused for a minute, unsure of how to respond. Was it fair to drag this out even though she knew there was no real attraction for her? Just then, for some reason, Spike popped into her head and she knew what she had to do.

“I’d love to,” she smiled.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at six,” he beamed. Leaning forward her placed a sweet kiss on her check before turning to head for his car, waving as he drove off. Buffy headed inside shutting the door with a sigh, she truly hoped she was making the right choice. Maybe, just maybe, the spark she knew was missing would grow with time.


Chapter End Notes:
Any good? should i continue? let me know.



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