[Reviews - 426]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2147 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Previously: Buffy admitted to wanting to be with Spike. But is he brave enough to tell her yes?! Read and find out. ;)

Major thanks goes to All4Spike and her awesomeness!!
Chapter 37

His brain was stuck; screeching to a grinding halt as the last words leaped off her lips. She was looking at him now, with big luminous eyes and her heart on her sleeve.

Did he want her? All of her? To be hers just as she would be his, to be able to touch and kiss and clutch as if the world would end the very next day?

Bloody hell, yes. He did want to, more than he’d wanted anything in a long time. But he couldn’t possibly be that selfish, could he? Her question had thrown him for a loop, sent reason— that traitorous nagging voice in the back of his head— into a spasm of protest. Insisting that that way lay heartbreak and grief from which he’d never be able to recover.

Buffy’s gaze darted away, a barely audible breath inhaled through the seam of her quivering lips as she curled into herself. He’d never meant to hurt her, yet it was all he seemed to be doing and he knew he should speak, tell her it was a bad idea. That she would regret it.

Hoping she wouldn’t see right through him, his lips parted, the lie ready to slice through the rising tension. Only, when the voice finally came out, it wasn’t reason taking the driving seat.

“God, yes.” Eyes squeezed shut, he found himself unable to lie straight into her vulnerable face. Not when she was putting everything on the line, making his heart ache. “I do. I want you, all of you. Buffy…” His fingers slid into her silky hair of their own accord, urging her closer, lips supping from hers.

Sod reason.

At this moment, the impending danger of his decision held no weight. There was nothing but her taste, that curious sensation of belonging and something he never thought he’d ever find again. Home.

She was climbing into his lap, hands knotting in the front of his T-shirt, her body moulding to his as if she wanted to climb inside his skin. Something within him broke, or perhaps got pieced together again, as he let her consume him. The Devil himself could come prancing around the corner right now and it wouldn’t make Spike stop suckling on her upper lip or derail his questing hands from sneaking under her shirt to trace the curve of her lower back.

He was flying through space, falling, falling, his back hitting the mattress, the tip of her tongue his only tether as it caressed the roof of his mouth.

“Spike,” Buffy breathed out, her tremulous voice shaping his name into a sensation that had him gripping her hips and pulling her flush against him in a desperate effort to be even closer.

She reclaimed his lips as if she owned every piece of him and fuck, if that didn’t turn him on even more. It had been stupid to even consider any other woman could ever make him forget her.

With his arms banded around her waist, he rolled them over, swallowed her gasp in a kiss that no longer felt as if the world was about to fall apart if they didn’t touch. Oh, it still boiled all right, but it simmered into a slower kind of burn, one that let them both know the other one was there to stay. She redefined the meaning of lust with languorous, drugging kisses that left his head spinning.

Her thighs clamped around his waist and the heat of her forced him to pull away to take a breath. “So bloody hot. Buffy…”

“Don’t you dare stop,” she said, panting, the ink of her pupils spilling over to edge out the green. “I’ll kick your ass.”

Unable to help himself, he laced her jaw with kisses. “Love the way you smell.” He bit her earlobe, eliciting a squeak. “Could eat you right up.”

“Hope you don’t mean that in a—” gasp, “literal, cannibalistic sense.”

“There are more ways to eat someone, you know.” He smiled against her neck, teeth scraping the sensitive flesh, fingertips skimming the patch of skin above the waistband of her jeans.

“Spike,” she pleaded, stroking his back and dipping lower and lower until she had two handfuls of his arse. The way she squeezed almost made him bite her.

“Naughty,” he exhaled, laughter tinting his voice.

“Love the way you say it,” she whispered, her hips rolling against his. His heart jumped at the word ‘love’ but he shook it off, told himself not to be stupid, not to fall deeper than he already had.

“Hmm, is that right? You naughty little girl.”

It could have been the words or the way he sucked the curve of her neck that provoked the full body shiver. The only thing he knew for sure was that he couldn’t get enough.

He kissed his way up her chin, skirting around the scars on her cheek, tentatively, as one would dip one’s toes in water to test the temperature. When she didn’t tense or push him away, he made contact and the slightest change in texture didn’t matter at all. Everything about her was beautiful.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

The sudden tension in her muscles let him know she was fighting back rebuttal of his words, but she wasn’t saying anything, her lips busy teasing the edge of his cheekbone.

“You are.” He’d tell her every day if that’s what it took to make her believe it. “Not to mention a right hell cat when you set your mind to it.”

She bit his earlobe.

“Yeah, there she is.” He nuzzled her cheek. “God, you’re lovely.”

“Are you trying to sweet talk me out of my pants?”

Horrified that she actually thought that, he leaned away, but instead of accusation he only spotted a little smirk playing around her swollen lips.

“You know I’m not,” he said, dead serious and a just a little bit hurt. It must have reflected on his face because her eyes softened with regret.

“Sorry. Guess you’re not the only who reverts to teasing when things get… you know.”

“Intense?”

She nodded, absentmindedly stroking his back under the fabric of his T-shirt. “I like it though. The… the things you say. The kissing and touching part is very nice too.”

“Yeah?” He bit his lip, swept his gaze down her body. “Think I could make it even better.”

Her hands stilled. “Spike, I’m not… I don’t think I’m ready to—”

“No need to fret.” He dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. “There are other ways we can have fun without eating the main course. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a bite out of the dessert.”

She swallowed audibly, exhaled a trembling sigh. “Dessert?”

“Do you trust me?” he asked with the edge of teasing, hoping she did, knowing he didn’t deserve it.

“Yes.” She looked sad as she said it and he knew he’d do his best to prove she could. For her, he could be the man worthy of her trust.

He sat back on his haunches, fingers making a quick work of the top button of her jeans. Their eyes met when the zipper rasped down, but there was nothing but anticipation in hers, so he hooked his thumbs in the belt loops and stripped the jeans down her smooth legs and off her feet.

“Spike?”

“Hm?”

“Can you take your shirt off?” Her cheeks flushed.

He arched his eyebrow, lifting his T-shirt an inch that she hungrily followed with her gaze. “Want to see my hot, tight little body, do you?”

“Yes,” she said with a gulp. “And, I know it sounds silly, but it would make me feel slightly better if I wasn’t the only half naked person here.”

“Fair enough.” Deliberately slowly, he pulled it over his head, stretching, giving her a show.

“You’re… ungh.”

“Didn’t know that was a word.” He crawled between her thighs on all fours like a panther stalking a gazelle, rolling her shirt up, dipping his head to kiss her stomach.

“It’s… in my special vocabulary.”

Her breath hitched, making him smile as his tongue circled her belly button. “This is the cutest belly button I ever did see.”

“W-what are you doing?”

“Shh,” he said with a quick grin, lowering himself to nip at her inner thigh.

“You’re not going t—”

“Taste that sweet pussy of yours? Of course I am.”

Her thighs would have clamped shut had he not been perched right between them.

“T-that’s gross. And icky. And…”

“Amazing?”

“Spike, no.”

He glanced up at her, saw the unease on her face. “It’s not icky, I promise. Give me a few minutes and we’ll have the ceiling coming down around our ears from the way you’ll be screaming.”

“I don’t… scream,” she whispered, scandalised, yet there was a sliver of fear tightening her mouth that made him pause.

“If you don’t want me to do it, I won’t.” He stroked her outer thighs in reassurance. “Didn’t mean to pressure you, just wanted to give you something.”

“You’re giving me plenty.” She reached out for him, wordlessly asking him to move up her body. “I just feel like everything’s spinning out of control.”

He propped himself up on his elbows to keep from crushing her. “Losing control is not necessarily a bad thing.”

“I know. Technically. But it’s a whole different thing when you’re making me lose it. I’m not used to… It scares me a little.”

He kissed her cheek, lingering for long moments. “Can I tell you a secret?”

She nodded, her arms circling his waist.

“It scares me a touch too. This… with you.”

“Why?”

He was glad his face was hidden from her, because he already felt as if he was peeling his heart open strip by painful strip. “I don’t know how to… It’s been a long time since I felt anything for a woman I… umm…”

“Touched like this?” she filled in, settling his nerves with the softness of her tone, the caress of her hands on his back.

“Yeah.”

Her hands stilled. “Can I ask you… why? Is it because you haven’t met anyone or…?”

“No. It’s just… the last time didn’t pan out very well, is all. Didn’t feel like going through that again.” And then there was her, making him smash his self-imposed rules one by one and dive in head first. Making him feel as if there was a safety net, when in fact this was nothing but a free fall that would leave them broken and bloody once they hit the ground.

Buffy rolled them onto their sides, legs tangled, soft light reflected in her eyes, and he feared she would ask him to show her every dirty corner of his broken heart.

“It’s kinda comforting… to know I’m not the only one. We’re in this together, for better or worse, right?”

“Yeah. We are.” He managed a small smile, wanting to curse her for providing a feeling of safety where there should be none. He couldn’t. Not when she used words like ‘together’, looking at him with untainted hope, telling him without words that there wasn’t anything he couldn’t say out loud.

He wanted to admit he’d never had this before. That even with Drusilla, there was always a part of him that he’d had to hold back, hidden from view. Did he even know how to make someone happy? To be someone whose heart wasn’t shuttered and dank from the lack of use? Or did that part of him die the day he’d locked William away and thrown away the key?

The sudden touch of her thumb smoothing his forehead startled him out of his thoughts.

“Don’t think so hard.”

“Sorry.” He caught her wrist and kissed it.

“It’s okay.” She smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling in mischief. “I’m just surprised my half naked state would inspire such a frown in you.”

He blinked, realising she was right. He was being daft, thinking too much when there was a beautiful half naked woman in his arms waiting to be snogged and touched. “Well, look at that.” She was squirming under his sudden scrutiny, fingers buried in his hair to pull him close.

Then she was kissing him, her lips warm and soft and pliant, and all his doubts and fears fell to a faint whisper as soon as he pressed his lips against hers.

They were in this together and perhaps for the first time in a very long time, the idea of it didn’t scare him half to death.

*******

The sun was low enough in the sky not to blind them, but not too low for them to lose sight of each other. The air was just the right temperature to calm her racing heart, the grass of the remote field tickling her bare ankles. It was the perfect place for a little rendezvous.

Grunt. Thump.

“You’re holding back.”

Eyes widened in faux innocence, he replied, “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

Dodge. Pant.

“Come on, I can take it. Give it to me harder.”

“Knew you liked it rough.” His eyelashes swept down as he scanned her from the messy bun perched askew on top of her head to her battered sneakers, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. How could he find her attractive when she was wearing an old black tank top and gray sweats that fell beneath her knees, she would never know, yet the lusty look on his face was unmistakable. Buffy seized his moment of distraction to kick him in the side.

“Ow.” Spike pouted, jumping away from another attempt to kick him. “You hit me.”

“Yes. Now please, would you hit me back?”

He dodged two of her punches, but the third managed to scrape his jaw. “I’m not sure this was such a good idea.” He held up his palms and stepped away.

She dropped her fists with a sigh. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t bloody well hit you!”

“But I want you to. It’s just a sparring session, Spike, it’s not like you’re abusing me.”

The muscle in his cheek ticked and she knew he was exasperated with her but she wouldn’t back down on this. “What if I hurt you? Knock your teeth loose or bruise your eye?”

“I have a black belt. I won’t let you get that close.”

“Yeah, that’s nice, pet, but you’re forgetting you lack field experience. And while I know you pack a mean punch,” he said, rubbing his sore jaw, “you’re still much lighter than me. I mean look at you… you’re tiny!”

“I’m not tiny. I’m just… height challenged. And you’re a fine one to talk. You’re not exactly Mister Six Feet Tall. You should know that being shorter and lighter is not necessarily a bad thing. Means I’m quicker than you.”

He closed the distance and cupped her face. “I know. I just can’t bear the thought of bruising this lovely face.”

As sweet as that was, she really wanted him to give her his all. “All right. How about this? You don’t aim at my face, okay? And then if you think I can take what you dish out, we’ll slowly up the ante.”

He still didn’t look convinced, so she pressed on. “I need you to help me. I need to hone my skills, to be able to protect myself when the next demon comes searching for me.” She grasped his wrists. “You’re not doing me a favour by holding back. You’re just making it easier for them to get to me.”

His lips pressed into a thin line and then his forehead was leaning against hers. “Fine. But the moment you want me to stop, scream… apple.”

She gave him a quick kiss and stepped out of his arms. “Got it.”

Ho nodded and they both fell into a fighting position, circling each other, waiting for the other to pounce. As she expected, Spike lost patience and charged, aiming a kick at her side that she deflected with her forearm. This sent him slightly off balance and she never hesitated, darting to the side to kick at the back of his knee. He gave her a nasty smirk, tongue pressed behind his front teeth as his palms cushioned his impact with the ground.

“Nice one, kitten.”

The look he gave her had her heart stammering, which is why she never noticed his leg sweeping out to bring her down.

She fell down with an oomph and immediately rolled away when he was about to come crashing on top of her to immobilise her.

“You’ll have to try a bit harder,” she said, leaping back to her feet, laughing at the strand of grass sticking out of his hair when he followed suit.

“Looks like it,” he said, licking his lips, making her knees wobble with the sudden desire to tear off his T-shirt and kiss him into next week.

She aimed a few well-placed punches at his face that he managed to dodge but she caught him with the last one and his head snapped back. When blood came trickling from his nostril, her eyes widened in alarm. “Oh my God, Spike, I didn’t mean to!”

He wiped away the blood with the back of his hand and grinned. “Looks like we can up the ante.”

She was relieved he wasn’t mad but that didn’t dissolve the lump of guilt sitting in her stomach. “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He charged her again, grinning as if he was having the time of his life. If he really didn’t mind then she’d try to do the same. “Come on; give me your best shot.”

“Only if you do the same.”

The speed of their attacks increased and she was finally starting to break into a sweat. It was getting harder and harder to keep him at arms’ length. Her muscles ached, her left thigh hurt from where his foot had connected, yet she hadn’t had more fun in months. Years maybe.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” he said, the proximity of his body and brushes of their skin driving her slowly to distraction.

She spun in a roundhouse kick but he saw it coming and ducked under her leg to slip behind her at such speed she didn’t have chance to whirl around. Then his arm was around her throat, the other dipping beneath her top to caress the heated skin of her stomach.

Stomping on his foot, Buffy drove her elbow into his gut and spun around to tackle him. Spike stumbled back, tripping over his own feet and falling to the ground with a grunt.

She straddled him with a smile, electricity racing up her spine. “Gotcha.”

Spike wheezed out a laugh when she seized his wrists and slammed them over his head, her thighs gripping his hips to keep him from bucking her off. Not that he seemed inclined to do anything but stare up at her with half-lidded eyes, his tongue darting out to moisten his lips.

“Now that you have me, what are you planning on doing to me, Mistress?” His hips ground into hers, making her eyelashes flutter.

“Admit I’m a good fighter.”

“Mmm… you are. Fuck, you’re better than I thought you would be.”

“Say, ‘Buffy is the queen of the world’.”

He did so, chuckling then added, “You know how hot you make me?”

She squirmed on top of him, her grip on his wrists falling slack. “I h-have a pretty good idea.”

“God, the way you move… Is it wrong that you kicking my ass gets me hard?”

“Only if it’s wrong that fighting you turns me on.” She blushed, pushing into the inquisitive hand that was sneaking up to cup her breast.

“Works out nicely then, doesn’t it?”

“Uh huh.”

He sat up and swallowed her surprised squeak with a kiss that melted her bones. They were both sweaty and out of breath and she’d never wanted him more. When she scraped his scalp with her nails, he exhaled a shuddering breath into her parted lips before diving in, his tongue massaging hers.

By the time he pulled away, they were both panting, hands trying to touch every sliver of bare skin.

“So, what do you want as your winner’s spoils?” he whispered against her throat, suckling at the sensitive skin.

She leaned away to catch his gaze. “Kiss me.”

“Such a chore,” he said with a quick grin and pressed his lips to hers.

Hundreds of miles away from home, in Spike’s arms in the middle of nowhere, she realised there was no other place she’d rather be. That there was no one else she’d rather be with.

It was scary how it easy it would be to let herself fall.

TBC


Chapter End Notes:
Did you like Spike's answer? Hope you didn't find it sappy.



You must login (register) to review.