Chapter 48
It was strange to be back. To see that nothing had changed when she felt as if she’d aged years since she last sat in Spike’s car as they sped past the cheerful Sunnydale sign. The little shops on Main Street had retained the quaint charm she’d used to find so stifling. People she’d seen a million times before wandered the same slightly shabby streets, sat on the same benches where the paint had begun to peel, blissfully oblivious to the evil crouching in the shadows. It was comforting, in a way, yet she felt strangely disconnected from it all, felt as though the life she’d had here belonged to someone else entirely.
It almost felt like a dream.
Warm arms slipped around her waist, anchoring her. “Why the concerned look?”
“I feel strange.”
“Because you’re home?”
“I think so. I feel like I haven’t been here in years.”
Spike’s hand rubbed her belly. “Want to go pay visit to your old man now or do you want to walk around for a bit?”
A sudden cramp seized her stomach. Had she eaten something spoiled? “I never would have expected you to willingly offer to go visit my dad.”
“What?” he said, a touch defensively. “I can play nice.”
She slumped back against his chest, her eyelids heavy. “I like it when you play nice.”
Spike nipped her earlobe. “You like it when I play dirty too.”
Pain shot through her, ripped through her vulnerable nerve endings as though someone had lit her blood on fire. “Spike, something’s wrong with me.”
“Everything’s the way it’s supposed to be.” He pulled away and grabbed her hand instead, an impish smile on his lips. “Come on now, let’s go back to my place. Want to have you all to myself for a while.”
A gentle breeze tickled her empty palm and she lifted her gaze to see that Spike was feet away, head tilted, crooked finger beckoning her to follow. “Move your arse, Summers, it’s going to be dark soon!”
He was getting further and further away, but moving felt as though the air was filled with molasses. Pain throbbed beneath her skin, not as sharp, but subtle and insistent, like a swarm of mosquitoes attacking on a sweltering summer night.
“Spike, wait!” She tripped over a fallen branch and fell to the ground. The trees and shops that had been a solid presence just a minute ago were blinking out of existence.
The world around her was shrinking.
*******
“Buffy, damn it, start breathing.” Not caring that the blood she’d coughed out would now be smeared over his mouth, Spike pressed his quivering lips against hers, pinched her nose and breathed into her. “Come on, come on, start breathing already! You can’t give up! Not now!” She couldn’t leave him. Not after they’d managed to beat the odds and Angelus was just dust scattered over the library floor.
“William, stop.”
Someone’s hands tried to pry him off, but he wouldn’t budge. Wouldn’t leave. Couldn’t leave her pale and lifeless on the floor as if she was nothing more than rubbish.
“Now. The time is now.” Drusilla’s voice was calm and collected.
He found himself flung off with supernatural force. A pair of bright blue eyes stared back at him, mouth curled with a sneer as Eline asked, “Do you want her to die or will you stop the hysterics now?”
He numbly watched them crouch over Buffy’s body as Drusilla entwined Buffy’s hand with Eline’s, binding them with some kind of vine. Then she lifted a dagger and plunged it through their joined palms.
*******
“Ow!” Blood was welling up, sluicing down her fingers like spilt strawberry juice. It hadn’t been there a second ago and there was no wound. She shook herself, eyes frantically searching the approaching night. She could hardly see Spike anymore and she knew deep down that if she lost him, the darkness would swallow her whole.
She was running, her lungs getting tighter and tighter with each step. It felt as if days had passed by the time that she was stumbling over the threshold of Spike’s house in Sunnydale. Except that it didn’t look like his house at all. The room filled with scattered books looked familiar but she couldn’t place it.
The sharp stench of smoke filled her nostrils as she fell down again. God, she was going to burn alive!
“Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting here for hours.” Spike knelt down, his fingers sweeping through her hair. “Your hand is bleeding. Is that why you’re late?”
“I got lost.”
“I’ve got you now.” He helped her stand up, her anchor in an unfamiliar world. “Look.”
It was… her. It looked like her, but her skin was too sallow. She was too still. Lying on the floor as two women hovered over her, Spike’s double trying to pry them away.
“What’s going on?”
“Shh, you’ll miss the fireworks.”
*******
“What the fuck are you doing?” Spike scrambled to his feet, intent on freeing Buffy from the vampires’ clutches. “You’re hurting her!”
“We’re saving her life!” Eline clenched her teeth as Drusilla started to chant.
“If you’re trying to turn her, I swear to God—”
“No. We’re sharing energies. I’m giving her a part of my darkness—”
“In exchange for what?”
“Her soul.”
“No! Won’t let you do that to her.” He leaped towards them, trying to tear their joined hands apart. It was like trying to shatter a rock twice his size with bare hands.
“Not… not all of it…” Eline’s words were losing their strength. “A part of it, a part that will come back…”
Drusilla shoved him back, her chanting rising in volume. Then the world went still.
*******
Buffy rubbed her chest, but the dull ache settled there wouldn’t ease. “What are they doing to her… me?”
“Don’t ask me. I only know as much as you do. Since I’m in your head and all.”
“You suck.”
“Very well, I might add.” Spike grinned.
Something was yanking her towards an unknown destination and then the floodgates opened and a tsunami of sensations rolled through her body. Something dark and alive, whispering through her blood. Power. Strength that made her skin feel too tight for her body. She could sense it, roiling through her veins and swelling within her heart, energy mounting and thrumming steadily to the frantic beat of her pulse.
Lights in the room burst… or was it within her?
She dropped to her knees and clawed at the carpeted floor, feeling as though the sun had exploded inside her chest.
*******
Dread sat in the bottom of his stomach as he watched. Helpless, broken, clinging to hope like one would cling to a spark of fire in the middle of a blizzard.
At first, there was a pulsing light, throbbing and swelling at the point where they were joined and his eyes snapped towards it, his heart thundering so hard he feared it would break his sternum.
“I feel it,” Eline mumbled, eyes closed to half-mast as the light spread through their bodies like a tidal wave.
As it ebbed and dispersed, they both jerked as though electrocuted, and Eline fell unconscious.
Drusilla pulled the dagger out of their palms with a squelching, sickening sound and severed the vine. She turned to him as though waiting for him to speak.
He had no words, could see nothing but Buffy as he slowly leaned down to her supine form. She was… she was breathing. Pain prickled his bottom lip but he didn’t give a damn and sank his teeth into it anyway. She was breathing.
But she still wasn’t waking up.
He took hold of her limp hand, dragged in a ragged breath. “What’s going to happen now?”
“Darkness joins the light. Don’t you know that, William?”
“Does she still have her soul?”
Drusilla’s eyes were sharp, present, more so than ever. “The light isn’t gone, but it wasn’t strong enough to burn the death away. Now it is. Yin and yang, the dark protecting the spark of light.” She lifted Eline’s hand and licked her bleeding palm. “It will make her real again.”
She scooped Eline up into her arms, so childlike and innocent in her repose, and with one last look Drusilla glided out of the library. He should go after them, stop them because they were vampires, a blasphemy that had no right to exist. He should. Instead he pressed his lips to Buffy’s cheek, relief flooding him at the feel of her warm skin.
“I’ll get you out of here,” he whispered even though she couldn’t hear, and gently lifted her into his arms.
Giles could retrieve the weapons and clean up the mess. Spike didn’t care.
Once he made it upstairs, he noticed the battle-worn men resting on the floor, nursing their wounds, waiting. They all scrambled to their feet once they caught the sight of him, firing questions at him at a rapid pace.
“Is she all right—”
“We couldn’t get downstairs—”
“There was a barrier—”
“She doesn’t look very—”
Spike’s head was spinning. “Would you shut your gobs?”
Silence.
“I’m taking Buffy to the hospital.” His eyes sought and found Giles, who luckily only sported a few bruises. “Can you take care of the clean up?”
“C-certainly.” He looked bemused for some reason but Spike chose not to dwell on it.
There were more important things to do.
*******
This was it. The ingredients were all together like ducks in a row. The dust, the essence of power, of purity. Hiding it away, she had been, like a naughty child. But Drusilla had known. She had seen.
And she knew her sister’s heart’s desire would finally come true.
The chalk dropped to the floor. The circle around Eline was perfect, not a spot missed, not a symbol misplaced. The naked girl’s arms were spread wide, a mockery of surrender, her feet pressed together. The light of the candles flared up. Shadows danced over her doll-like face, so soft in sleep. So childlike.
“The essence of purity flowing through her veins.” Drusilla sank to her knees, drove two spikes through her wrists and into the floor. “Burn the darkness away. Heal the spirit.”
Securing Eline’s left foot over her right, Drusilla lifted the third spike and rammed it through with bone breaking impact. Blood flowed from the wounds, spilling to the edges of the circle but not beyond.
“From the dust of her maker, she shall be reborn.”
Sprinkling Angelus’ dust over the final spike, she lifted it over her head and brought it down and straight into Eline’s heart.
“Arise!”
With a gasp that turned into a scream, Eline jerked up, ripping the spikes out of the floor, and with great effort out of her flesh. Broken bones mended, torn tissue knitted together before their eyes. A beat of silence then Eline took in a desperate breath, as though trying not to drown.
“D-dru,” she rasped, taking Drusilla’s cold hand and pressing it over her heart. It thrummed and fluttered like a frightened bird. “It worked.”
“Like a charm,” Drusilla replied with a giggle.
“I can think of a million things that will make this hard, but—” Tears filled her bright blue eyes. So much like William’s. “I can… I can grow up.”
“You’re going to be lovely, like a princess.” The heartbeat drummed a primal rhythm in Drusilla’s head, made her tremor with hunger. She rose to her feet, gliding away from the heated flesh and beckoning scent of young blood.
“You’ll come back for me,” Eline said, a question and a demand meeting in half. “When I’m ready.”
“Seven years. Like in a fairytale.” She could almost taste it. Childe becoming the maker. The way they would paint the world red. “See you soon, sweet Eline.”
*******
A few hours after the battle, Spike sat next to Buffy’s hospital bed, his mind reeling. The blade. It had tapped into Buffy’s unlocked source of power, released it, but there had been a catch. A fucking catch.
It had fuelled her strength and resilience, but it hadn’t been without a price. The second she’d dealt the last blow to Angelus that had engulfed them in the cupola of light, it had sucked in Angelus’ strength. Sucked it in and inverted the action through the blade onto Buffy. Eye for an eye. By gutting Angelus, the magic of the blade had gutted her.
He could still remember the deathly pallor of her skin, the stillness of her chest.
If it hadn’t been for Eline and Drusilla, she would have… fuck, it hurt to even think the words. Hurt almost as much as the betrayal of someone he’d thought he could trust.
“You knew?”
Giles glanced away, hands in his pockets. “N-not precisely. I suspec—”
“Suspected? You suspected?” Spike leaped to his feet and feeling as though the rage would burn right through his skin, hissed, “You had a reason to believe using that weapon might kill her, and you never said anything?” Spike stared at him, not recognising the man he’d thought he knew. “How could you?”
“The world was in peril,” Giles said urgently, angrily. “What was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t even care. I don’t want to see your ugly mug right now.” He unclenched his fists, forced himself to relax and sit back down.
Giles sighed and there was a tense moment of silence before footfalls squeaked upon the linoleum, sounding farther and farther away as he exited the room.
Only then did Spike feel his breathing slowing down. Careful of the I.V. line, he caressed Buffy’s fragile hand.
“Wake up,” Spike said, resting his head on the mattress next to Buffy’s shoulder. He’d been a sight, beaten and screaming for someone to help her, feeling so bloody useless when they’d taken her from his arms.
They were both lucky to even be alive, he knew. In the long hours of sitting by her side, his brain had gone into overdrive. Spinning over and over, trying to realise why he was still alive. Buffy’s locket… He had a theory now. The way it reacted to the Gem of Amara, the same green stone etched into it. The Gem of Icarus. It had to be. Made to counteract spells, creating a shield of protection once in contact with its twin.
He’d been so sodding blind.
For the first time in a long time, he’d prayed. Prayed that his lack of knowledge hadn’t cost him his world. That she’d wake up and be the same Buffy.
And if she wasn’t…
Well, after sitting in the plastic torture device of a hospital chair for hours, he’d come to the conclusion that it hardly mattered. She might be dripping slime and he wouldn’t care.
“Please, don’t wake up dripping slime,” he said and closed his eyes.
Exhausted, Spike fell asleep slumped in the plastic hospital chair.
*******
The first thing she noticed was an echo of pain wriggling through her entire body, a strange weight pressing down on her hand. Then came the beeping sound that frankly, didn’t help much with the headache blossoming inside her head. How annoying was that? Hello, people trying to nap here!
When she opened her eyes and blinked to clear her vision, she was met with the sight of bleached blond curls. Spike? Why was he slumped all weird like that instead of lying next to her?
Heart rate monitor, I.V. pumping God knew what into her vein, horrible hospital gear that probably left her butt hanging out for all to see. Great. She was in a hospital, and apparently, the speed of her deductive skills had not improved.
“Spike,” she croaked, wishing she had a glass of water. Her mouth felt like the Sahara at high noon.
Nothing.
Spike was holding onto her hand, which was a bit annoying since she wanted to move. Stopping mid-thought, she shook herself. Not annoying. Sweet.
She reached out with the other hand and had to turn on her side a bit, so she could reach him better. Running her fingers down his stubble-covered cheek seemed to do the trick. He stirred, groaned then lifted his head. It took him a while to realise she was looking at him.
How long had she been out of it? And was it just her imagination, or had she really almost died? Why wasn’t she dead?
“Buffy?”
“Thirsty.”
His sleepy eyes widened, fixed on her unblinkingly then all she saw was a blur of colours as he held her cheek and rained kisses all over her face.
“I’ll get you anything. I’ll get you a bloody mimosa if that’s what you want!” With a deep baritone, he whispered into her ear, “Wouldn’t mind drinking Buffy mimosa right about now.”
Her laugh swiftly turned into a cough that had her pushing him away. “Normal water will do, pig.”
“Got it.”
She loved seeing him smile.
“Now stop with the staring and bring me that water!”
******
She had been discharged for over a week, feeling as though she was being yanked in two opposite directions. Spurts of rage worthy of the Hulk came and left, as did random streaks of mood swings that had Spike ducking any heavy objects thrown his way. It wasn’t really her fault, she thought as she curled into the armchair within the motel room that Spike had insisted they stayed in. It was all the research and stuff! It would drive anyone crazy.
“I’ve got something!”
Thumbing through her own book, she prompted, “Spill it, honey bear.”
“Found this bit on a ritual that transfers energies. The description fits the one Drusilla performed.”
Her growl was a perfectly normal response. Just a mention of that name made her want to rip teddy bears apart and scatter their fluffy guts all over the floor. Probably a good thing there were no teddy bears around.
“Right,” Spike said warily, clearing his throat. “Says the spell opens a channel between the subjects, lets their spirits intertwine. Dark and light.”
“So, I’ve got vampire bits in me?” She should be more alarmed, but sometimes it was hard to even care.
“You’re still human, but… got a bit of that darkness in you.”
“Am I still a Potential though?”
“I’m fairly sure you still are. See with the ritual, your light, that bit that makes you a Potential, a human… it flowed into Eline, but not all of it. Just like only a part of her demon… imagine this as a blob of energy that keeps the body animated rather than a sentient being… a bit of it flowed into you. ‘S what kept your body alive when…” Pages shuffled and when she looked up Spike’s head was ducked. She didn’t have to see his expression to know that he was upset and trying to cover it. “It’s temporary though. See, in this other book, I found that the spirit of a vampire cannot survive in a living human body. The human spirit will devour it eventually.”
“Does it say how long it takes?” She twisted in her seat and clamped her book shut. Not like she’d found anything useful in it anyway. “I’m a bit tired of turning into Mister Hyde all the time.”
“Depends on the strength of your own spirit.” He pushed the book to the side and rubbed his lower back. “I figure it shouldn’t take long at all.”
“I guess it’s a small price to pay.”
His shoulders tensed and he looked at her, beckoning her to him with his gaze. Unwilling to resist, she rose from the armchair and crawled onto the bed to sit in his lap.
“I would have lost you.” His voice was rough, low, as though he was afraid to even voice the words. “Don’t know what I’d have done if you’d… left me.”
“I’m here. A bit demony at the moment though.” She licked his jugular, felt him shudder. “Aren’t you scared of me?”
“Love, I’ve always been scared of you.” His arms banded around her waist, his lips whispering against hers. “You’ve got my heart in your hands and all.”
“You’re getting corny.”
“You love it.” His smirking lips tickled her jawline.
“Maybe.” She combed her fingers through his hair. “A little bit.”
“Let’s see if I can speed your recovery with a vigorous shag.”
“Wasn’t paroxysm all the rage in Victorian era?”
“Wasn’t that for hysteria?”
She shrugged. “Close enough.” She tilted her head back, relishing the gentle suckling on her throat. “Cure by orgasms. I think I like that idea.”
“Mmm… gorgeous and smart.” He pushed her into the mattress, cocooning her with the familiar weight of his body. “I’m going to shag you now.”
She was okay with that.
*******
It had been an uphill battle for a while. Luckily, times when she had had to struggle to beat back surges of annoyance and bite back vicious barbs ready to roll off her tongue had slowly but surely become few and far between. It helped that Spike didn’t heap guilt on her shoulders by acting like a wounded puppy every time she’d say something she didn’t even mean. He’d just tilt his head and the soft look in his eyes would melt any anger away.
The process of healing took time, she knew. Each day she’d feel a bit more in control, a bit more like herself. It was nice to know that the part of her soul Drusilla had drained was regenerating, burning the dark energy out and on the fringe. That she wasn’t doomed to live as half of the person she’d been.
A month after the battle and she finally felt like herself.
“I can’t believe we’re going back.”
“Back to where it all began,” Spike said, one hand resting on the steering wheel, the other caressing her knee.
“I have to repeat the year so I can graduate. It’s going to suck.”
“Nah, you can do it.” The corner of his lips twisted up. “You can always beat up anyone who gives you trouble.”
“I’m going for a new, pacifistic approach.”
“Ignoring and scowling?”
“Yup.”
“Well, just think of all the fun we’ll have. You can come along to my demon hunting trips and then we’ll spend hours making love covered in blood and guts.”
She grimaced. “How romantic of you.”
Spike laughed, his hand sneaking just a bit higher.
“You know I’ll make you help me out with my homework, Mister Published Poet.”
Did he really have to pinch her? She slapped his hand.
“It’s just a few articles in literary magazines. Hardly Tennyson here,” he grumbled.
“Who?”
“Never mind.” He lifted her hand and brought it to his lips to plant a smacking kiss on her knuckles. “Should I worry about your dad giving me the third degree?”
“I think he’ll be too distracted by the wedding to give you much trouble.” And how weird was that? Her dad getting married? It was an apocalypse after all. “I can’t believe they’re getting married. They’ve only known each other for months.”
“Think he knows that when you find happiness, you need to grip it with both hands.”
When she looked at Spike, he swiftly turned back to staring at the stretch of road ahead, his ears turning pink. Sometimes, he could act so peculiar and awkward. Like a teenage boy on his first date. She refrained from asking what was on his mind and scooted over so she could feel the heat of his body.
“I’m glad he has someone. I would feel bad for leaving him alone after I moved in with you.”
“And I’m glad you’re moving in with me.” He kissed her temple. “Love you, kitten.”
“Love you, sweet cheeks.”
This time last year, she’d never have imagined half of the things that had happened to her were even possible. She lost a friend. Fell in love. Died. Grew up to finally be comfortable in her own skin.
She had no idea what the future would bring but what she did know was that she was no longer alone. That through all the storms that would rock her life, she had an anchor to keep her safe.
With a smile, she rested her head in the crook of Spike’s neck.
As long as they had each other, there was nothing they couldn’t face.
THE END
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, this is it, guys. The final chapter! If you made it this far, you're freaking amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the reviews you lovely readers left. :) Enjoy!
Beta'd by All4Spike, the bestest beta of all!
Beta'd by All4Spike, the bestest beta of all!
Chapter End Notes:
You may feel as if some stuff wasn't neatly wrapped up, but that's because I wanted to leave a bit to your imagination. Just like in real life, there will always be some loose ends. I hope you enjoyed the ride just like I enjoyed writing this story. :) If you'd like to let me know your thoughts or just simply tell me you liked the story (or what you didn't like about it), that would mean the world to me. A massive thank you to you all!! :)