When Xander, Spike, Buffy and Willow got into the hallway of Davinia's apartment, Buffy practically hopped on her friend. The little redhead giggled and let go of Xander's hand. Spike shrugged at Xander who shrugged back as if to say, "Bah, ladies and their human emotions."
"Hey best friend who I haven't hugged yet," Buffy said.
"You have no idea how much I missed you! Everything’s been terrible and there's SOO much we need to talk about," Willow said, looking sideways at Xander. He grinned sheepishly.
"I know, right?" Buffy said, briefly entertaining the idea of planting a kiss on Willow's cheek because she was so grateful to see her again. "You first. How's Oz?"
The girls clung to one another as all four of them walked down the corridor.
"We sorta broke up. But I think it's a good thing. I'm kinda seeing somebody else—"
Xander clapped his hands.
"Hey, don't we have more pressing issues to discuss than who's dating who?"
"Whom. Also, Buffy and I are dating," Spike said, scooping the two, tiny women up in a quick hug.
"That's so great!” Willow said, as they disentangled at the top of the stairwell, “I mean now that there's no threat of getting all chompy, why not? How are you feeling with your burgeoning humanity thing by the way?"
"It's amazing. I forgot how brilliant it feels not having to piss anymore after really having to piss."
"God, gross, honey!" Buffy said, sticking out her tongue and making a yuck face while she bounced downstairs.
"What? She asked."
"I was referring to your connectedness to society and your reintroduction to morality, but I guess your bladder is pretty important, too."
"This is all fascinating and really disgusting, but we've got big, juicy evil to fight and I for one want a game plan before we go in there," Xander said. They finished trouncing down the steps and stopped in a clump by the glass double doors that separated them from the outside. Buffy could see Xander's car parked on the street.
"Should we just take our chances and run for it?" Buffy asked.
"I can do a concealment spell," Willow said. She muttered a few words and a silver light flashed over her eyes. Then she grinned, her expression bright enough to blanch paint. "We're good."
They stepped outside into the sunlight and Buffy scanned the area for suspicious people or cars that might be casing the building. Not seeing any, she jogged with more confidence. She turned to ask Spike if he saw anything when she noticed his smile was bringing out dimples she didn't even know he had. Her face began to hurt and she realized her grin was just as big. Spike looked down at her as they reached the vehicle.
"You think I'll freckle?" he asked with a wink, yanking open the back door. Buffy dove in after him and so did Willow. Xander got into the front alone.
"I feel like a cab driver," Xander grumbled.
Spike laughed as he buckled up.
"Gonna have to get used to wearing one of these. And I'll have to get a driver's license. Shouldn't be hard, right?" he asked.
Buffy fastened her own seatbelt.
"The written part is kind of easy but the actual driving/driving not so much."
"I'm sure you'll ace it. You've got a leg up seeing as you've been driving since before they had cars," Willow said. She was sitting behind Xander and when she thought Buffy wasn't looking, traced the shell of his ear with a sharp, red nail. He jumped and accidentally hit the horn.
"Bloody hell, we're trying to be sneaky here."
"Sorry, I just—I think it's great that you're alive, Spike, seriously, but if you and the rest us are going to stay that way we need a plan."
"Xander's right. Willow, you look like you haven't slept all night and baby, you're not so much with the superhuman qualities anymore."
His smile shrank and he no longer looked like a school boy who'd just been let out on summer break. Buffy hated to see his ebullience checked. She wanted to tell him that his diminished power didn't matter to her—what he gave her was something much more than help in a fight. Her emotions about him were still so overwhelming, though, that she couldn't put them into words, especially not in front of her friends. Instead she gave his hand a squeeze and hoped he'd understand. He looked at her sincerely.
“Even without the bells and whistles, I still know how to fight.”
"I know, but we need a plan of attack," Buffy said.
"Willow can't do her stealth kitty without fainting, so we're going to have to go in blind," Xander said.
"That cat in the Initiative was you, Wills?”
"Andrew helped,” Willow said, shrugging her shoulders.
"Big thanks for the heroics," Buffy said, relieved to know it hadn't been a figment of her weakened mind. "Spike, can you get us into the house?"
"Should be easy. 'Spose I can break in anywhere now, can't I?" he asked, a sinister gleam of realization in his eyes. Buffy lowered her eyebrows, giving him a disapproving glance.
"But you won't," Buffy said.
"'Course I won't. Won't steal, shouldn't fight, can't bloody earn a living. Guess I'll have to get used to being a kept man," Spike said.
“You're a fancy lad,” Xander said.
“Can still kick your narrow ass. Plus, I can pull off the lace cuffs and eyeliner.”
"You really can,” Buffy said, kissing Spike on the nose. “Alright, once we're inside, I'll do the subduing. You guys keep an eye out for anything useful. We'll need to find where she's holding Faith. Willow, are you strong enough to do the mind-meld thingie?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, that's not like some of the other spells, it's sorta second nature for some reason, like the way I still remember the capitals of all fifty states because my mom taped those flashcards to the slats of my crib, which isn't really relevant now I'm realizing, so yes. I'll meld her good."
"Great. Looks like we have a plan."
They were silent for a moment; Buffy toyed with Spike's fingers, Willow gazed out the window and Xander focused on the road.
“North Dakota,” Xander said.
“Bismarck! Dammit, Xan. Now that I reminded him, he's going to be doing this all day.”
~*~
Maggie Walsh's place was a normal, clapboard house painted light blue. It had a neat lawn and a plump, red, gnome statue guarding the front walk. Buffy had expected Professor Walsh to live in a white pod cleaned by a robot butler; a dwelling that screamed “menace from the not too distant future.” They parked down the street and rummaged through the trunk for weapons. Buffy took the crossbow because it was the most intimidating. Spike chose an ax and slung it over his shoulder. Xander got a stun gun. They walked with confidence under Willow's concealment spell to the back door. Spike pulled out the lockpick kit he found in the car and was about to go to work, when he tried the doorknob.
"It's open," he said.
"Why does that seem both foreboding and ominous?" Xander asked.
"Because you're having one of those rare glimmers of common sense?" Spike asked.
Xander tilted his head.
"You know, I'd like to argue with you, but me and common sense haven't been simpatico lately," Xander said.
Spike swept his arm out, inviting Buffy to go first. She obliged him. Willow followed Buffy closely, then Xander and finally Spike. Buffy could hear the shower running upstairs and exchanged looks with her friends.
“She must be upstairs,” Willow said.
“And I have no qualms about catching the bitch unawares,” Spike mumbled.
They walked through Maggie's empty kitchen. The efficient, clean space looked like an IKEA show room. The living room was decorated with spartan, Shaker furniture. Professor Walsh had gone so far into the aesthetic she'd eschewed couch cushions; there was just an anemic-looking bench with spindles for a back. The only nod to comfort was a yellowed patchwork quilt, but it was tacked on the straw-colored wall, so Professor Walsh probably didn't have many cozy movie nights.
“What kind of freak doesn't have a telly?” Spike asked, glancing around the room at the empty bookshelves.
Apparently, Walsh didn't have ANY cozy movie nights.
“Proof she's evil, and not in the good, demony kind of way,” Buffy said as she mounted the wooden steps. The polished wood creaked under her footfalls, and she grimaced. Her friends followed, and Spike's hand hung above the small of her back as though waiting to catch her should she fall. She was grateful she didn't have to face Walsh again without him. Spike had been a haven during their captivity, and she still felt like he was safekeeping everything that made her Buffy.
Once they reached the top, Willow and Xander fanned out to briefly check the other rooms. Buffy tiptoed along the gold wall, pausing a moment when she noticed a photograph of Dr. Oliver standing beside Professor Walsh there. They were posed on a beach in front of a bright, blue kayak. Both wore muddy shorts and enormous grins, their skin peeling from sunburn. Buffy glanced at Spike and he nodded.
“She's not the sentimental sort, if she got rid of old Lloyd so easily,” he said.
“Stay close.”
“Um, guys, there's some weirdness here,” Willow said. They turned to see her standing nervously in the door frame of one of the upstairs rooms, the light from the windows making her red hair glow. Xander pivoted and was at her side.
“What's the deal?” Xander asked.
“All the bookshelves are empty, just like the living room, and there's all kinds of dangly wires where her computer should be,” Willow said.
“Looks like we didn't beat the cleaning crew,” Spike said.
Buffy couldn't help the sick feeling tingling through her as they traversed the final, short patch of hallway. She flung open the door, aiming her crossbow at the blue, plaid shower curtain. Hesitantly, they entered the steamy room. Whoever was in the bathtub didn't stir. Buffy swept the water-beaded plastic aside.
Maggie Walsh was lying in the tub, blood collected around her head. Buffy was certain the professor was dead because she wasn't blinking away the droplets hitting her hazel eyes. Willow peered over Buffy's shoulder, stiffening when she saw the corpse.
“Maybe she slipped?” Willow asked.
“Then how do you explain the tiny bullet hole in her forehead? May I suggest we partake in some fleeing,” Xander said. He had one hand on Buffy's shoulder and the other on Willow's.
“The water's still warm, so whoever did this is probably still around,” Buffy said.
“Hence, the fleeing.”
“He's right, there's nothing here, pet. If there were, they'd be on us by now. The police will show up any moment, no doubt, asking what we know.”
“We should wipe things off we touched. You know, fingerprints and stuff,” Xander said.
“Done and done,” Willow said. She said some words and a snapping sound crackled through the air. A second later her hair was standing on end. “All clean.”
They exited the house in a rush and ran to the car. Once they were safely inside the vehicle, a pall settled over them. Buffy had no idea where to go next or what to do to find Faith. They were all waiting for her next command.
“I guess we should head back to Dav's,” Xander said.
“There's a stop I need to make first,” Buffy said.
*~*
Willow and Xander opted to wait in the car while the other two went to collect Angel's ashes from the mansion. The sun was bright and Willow was pretty sure she hadn't seen the mansion in daylight. It was funny sitting with her oldest friend and not knowing how to tell him what was on her mind. They'd never had that problem before. Now that they were alone, she felt nervous. Xander to feel the same,, so Willow decided to start there.
“I guess now our only option is to talk to Maggie's students,” Willow said.
“I bet you any money none of them will be enrolled in school tomorrow. If somebody is trying to wipe out evidence of the Initiative, they'll reassign those guys before you can say 'Big Brother is Watching.'”
“Where's that leave us? We can't stay at Dav's forever. How was that, by the way? Weird for you?”
She could tell he was hiding something huge by the way his hands wouldn't stop moving on the steering wheel. He seemed to be afraid to look at her.
“I don't know.”
“Xander, did something happen?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face.
“This thing between us was a mistake, Wills.”
“Really? Because to me it was sort of inevitable.”
“So are summer sequels and liver cirrhosis among Harris males, that doesn't make them good. I wondering if, maybe, I should have stayed with Dav.”
“Does she want you back?”
“No, actually she said we're done. But she still loves me. Maybe if I showed her that she could trust me.”
“If she doesn't want to date you, why don't you want to give us a shot? Was it...was I bad or something?”
“God no, it's not like that at all. You're great, in all the ways a person can be great—“
“Then what is it? I know this whole situation isn't ideal, but if you give us a chance, I think we could really be something.”
“I don't,” he said, staring coldly ahead as though any deviation in head position would transform him into a pillar of salt.
Willow knew her eyes were doing the shiny thing that made her look like a Precious Moments figurine. She'd been stupid to believe that this time he would finally need her the way she wanted him to.
“That sounded harsh and I'm sorry, but I don't want to keep leading you on. I just don't think we make sense as a couple.”
“You know what I think? I think you never want what you already have. I was inside your head, Xander. I felt everything you felt.”
“Willow—“
“You would die for me.”
“Yeah—“ he said, his hands flexing on the wheel.
“You'd kill for me, too. Your love is so powerful it felt like wielding magic. How is that not enough?”
“I don't know. All I know is I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Then stop hurting me!”
“That's what Dav said.”
“You never learn. When I was begging for you to notice me you were all, 'Oh, she's not the kind of girl whose lips I think about,' but the minute I found Oz you tried to get very lippy indeed,” she said.
Willow twisted around in the front seat so that her body was facing Xander, causing him to finally turn his head and look at her. His lips were trembling and his sad, brown eyes were extra remorseful. She couldn't stop herself from reaching out to him. Her hands conformed to the round of his shoulders and at her touch the tension wrinkling his brow dissipated.
“Not the VERY minute,” he said with a self-deprecating smile.
“Practically. All I'm saying is you changed your mind so many times before, what makes you think that if you're with Dav you won't change your mind again?”
“I can't know that I wouldn’t, but—“
Willow's fingers went to his temples and power surged through her body. Xander moaned and his lids fell shut.
“I can,” Willow said, as her eyes clouded over.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to Science and Puddinhead for their beta Skillz!