“But, Mom, pleeease,” Annie begged, hugging the coveted jeans to her chest tightly.
“Annie … I’m seriously not paying that much for a pair of jeans because they’ve got pink piping, a few sequins, and say ‘Barbie’ on them,” Buffy retorted – again. “Put them back.”
“But I love them … and they’re on clearance … and Synchronicity would be soooo jealous…” Annie continued to argue.
“Anne Joyce … I wasn’t put on this earth to make your friends jealous. I could buy five pairs of jeans with what that one pair costs, even on ‘clearance’. For me to pay that much for jeans, Ken better be in them,” Buffy asserted. “Put. Them. Back.”
Annie sighed and her shoulders sagged as she hung the jeans back on the rack. “Synchronicity isn’t my friend … she’s just … she thinks she’s the coolest thing in school and she’s such a ditzoid! I think her parents paid to get her into the Magnet program ….” Annie disclosed as she continued looking through the other jeans on the clearance rack. “She can barely tell Arabic from Greek…”
“We’re not here for you … we’re here for Bess – let’s try to stick with that plan and we’ll worry about making … What the hell kind of name is ‘Synchronicity’, anyway?” Buffy wondered as Annie held another pair up in Bess’ size and Buffy made a face and shook her head. “Too many holes.”
Annie shrugged and put the holey jeans back on the rack. “It’s like Joshua … apparently it’s the name of an album or something from the olden days.”
“Aaaa yes, the long ago, caveman olden days … the '80s,” Buffy quipped, rolling her eyes.
“How about these?” Annie asked, holding up another pair of jeans.
Buffy looked them over, checked the price and nodded. “Yeah – take those to her to try …”
Annie headed off towards the fitting rooms with the jeans. They’d been at this for a couple of hours, trying to get Bess a decent wardrobe … this was the second store they’d been to so far today and there were lots more stores waiting for them. Bess needed everything from underwear and socks to jeans and t-shirts to dress slacks and nice tops to dresses and skirts to shoes. It was costing a small fortune, but Bess couldn’t go the rest of her life with just two pairs of jeans, three shirts (including the one from Jake-John-Jack), and the one dress Buffy had bought her in London.
After a few minutes, the two girls came back carrying armfuls of clothes that fit and Bess liked or that Annie had talked her into liking, at least, and the three of them headed to the checkout counter.
After ringing everything up and running Buffy’s credit card, the cashier frowned and handed the card back to Buffy. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Weckerly, that card’s been declined.”
“What?!” Buffy questioned, checking to make sure she’d given them the right card … the card she thought didn’t have anything on it … the card she’d later find out Spike used for their night out in London and the charm bracelet. “Oh … ummm…” Buffy stammered, looking in her wallet and shaking her head. She knew the other two cards would be declined too.
“Would you like to apply for a store credit card?” the clerk offered.
“Uhhh …” Buffy looked at all the clothes as her stomach knotted in embarrassment and frustration … Bess really did need them. “Yeah – let’s do that…”
After four more stores, and four more store credit accounts, the trio left the mall laden with a decent wardrobe for their newest addition … along with a few items for the other new addition that would be coming along in October that Buffy just couldn’t resist getting.
**~**
(2 days later), Monday, May 10th, 2010, 3:00pm, Dr. Benson’s office, OB/GYN (16 weeks pregnant):
“You should’ve been in sooner,” the doctor chastised her, “But everything looks fine, Buffy,” the doctor assured her as she ran the sonogram wand over the cold jelly on Buffy’s abdomen.
Buffy sighed in relief as she watched the blurry picture on the black and white monitor. “Can you tell the sex of the baby?” she wondered.
“Well … it’s a little early …” the doctor began, moving the wand around more and studying the screen. “… but it looks like a girl. I wouldn’t paint the room pink yet, though … we should be able to be more certain on the next sonogram, assuming she or he isn’t shy.”
Buffy nodded. Of course it was a girl … of course the ‘insane Cambridge man’ was probably right … she’d done the math, she was due on October 9th, 2010 … ‘on the day that falls one short of the month and the year,’ exactly 266 days from the ‘buggering blue demon’ attack … the night in the bandstand.
“Ok ... no pink yet,” Buffy agreed as the doctor cleaned the jelly off her skin.
Out at the appointment desk, they set up the next appointment. “That’ll be three hundred for today’s visit,” the nurse behind the desk informed Buffy nonchalantly as she handed her the appointment card.
“Three hundred … dollars?! For thirty minutes?” Buffy questioned with wide eyes. “Wow … who can afford to have babies anymore?” she only half joked, pulling out her checkbook. Her hand shook slightly as she wrote the check. The money that Willow and Tara had ‘repaid’ them back February wouldn’t last long at this rate…
**~**
(2 days later), Wednesday, May 12th, 2010, 10:00am, Dr. White’s office, DDS:
“Your other teeth look fine, Buffy … just that one got knocked out?” the dentist questioned. “I don’t know that I’ve seen just one molar knocked out before, with no damage to the others.”
“It was a freak accident involving a … ummm … an angry puppy …” Buffy explained vaguely. “Can you fix it?”
Dr. White shrugged. “Sure … for someone your age, and with just the one tooth missing, I’d recommend an implant. It will feel just like a real tooth when it’s done.”
“Ok … good, yeah, let’s do that, then,” Buffy agreed.
“What kind of insurance do you have?” the dentist questioned, looking at her folder.
“None … my husband’s job doesn’t offer dental,” Buffy admitted. “Why … how much does it cost?”
“It would be $1,000 for the one tooth …” the doctor informed her.
“What?!” Buffy exclaimed, sitting up from the reclining position in the dentist’s chair. “The tooth fairy only paid me a dollar for them!”
“Yeah, I know – crazy isn’t it?” Dr. White empathized. “Well, it’s up to you. We can do a payment plan if you need to. The thing to keep in mind is, if you leave that spot blank, your other teeth are going to shift over time to fill it … you may end up with gaps in the front …” he informed her.
“Wonderful…” Buffy moaned, resting back against the chair. “Fine … just do it… What’s one more payment?”
**~**
(next day) Thursday, May 13th, 2010, 2:45am:
Spike walked alongside the garage to the garden and found Buffy in her new usual place … sitting under the oak tree, guarding her small plants from the killer bunnies, like a sentry standing guard at Buckingham Palace.
“See any action tonight, soldier?” Spike quipped as he walked up to her.
“Nope … that’s three nights in a row now,” Buffy informed him, standing up and brushing her backside off before dropping a soft kiss on his lips. “Maybe I scared them off,” she hypothesized as he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug.
“Or maybe it was that bear piss you poured all ‘round the whole bloody garden…” Spike suggested, scrunching up his nose as he released her. He could still smell it.
Buffy shrugged. “Maybe …” she acquiesced as they started walking towards the house arm in arm. “Just how do you think they collect bear urine?” Buffy wondered.
“Very carefully,” Spike guessed sarcastically.
“’ere,” Spike continued as they walked, handing her a wad of small bills.
“What’s this?” Buffy questioned, as she took them. “You haven’t been there long enough to get a paycheck yet.”
“Darts…” Spike explained with a shrug. “It’s not much, but …”
Buffy counted the money, seventy-five dollars. That would pay for one-fourth of a sonogram… but it was more than she’d brought in, which was zero … or less than zero if you counted the money she’d spent the last few days.
“How’s life in The Fish Bowl?” she questioned as they made it into the house.
“I didn’t think anyone could be cheaper or skuzzier than Willy, but that bloody shark Tiburon has ‘im beat, fins down,” Spike groaned, rolling his eyes.
Since Willy had filled his job by poaching the security from The Fish Bowl, Spike went and talked to Tiburon, a shark-demon who owns the bar on the docks. Spike had met Tiburon before through his brother, who everyone just called ‘Mr. Shark’ … a loan shark who Spike had had a couple of dealings with in the past. Tiburon hired Spike right away … this was his fifth night on the job, but he took a twenty percent pay cut from what Willy had been paying him and it was further away – he had to ride his Harley out there, it was too far to walk. There was also a rougher crowd out on the docks, making for tougher and longer nights. On the plus side, there were a lot of demons and humans from the ships that stopped in on shore leave from points unknown who didn’t know Spike, so he could hustle a game of pool or a dart match or a poker game and make a little extra on the side. The only catch was, anything extra he made while on the clock as security, he had to give 25% of it to Tiburon …
“You’re being careful, aren’t you?” Buffy asked, looking at him with worry. “You know …”
“I know, pet … I don’t ‘ave the Gem. Yes, I’m bein’ careful … no worries,” Spike assured her as they started up the stairs.
“Until Willow figures out how the Gem was made and some way to duplicate the magic in it, or finds out if it can be divided, maybe we should …” Buffy started but was stopped by Spike’s disapproving look.
“Fine…” Buffy moaned, dropping it – again. She’d tried and tried to get him to take the Gem back from Bess, but Spike refused, saying she deserved it … she deserved a life in the light after all she’d been through.
“Never thought I’d miss the bloody wanker Willy…” Spike changed the subject as they reached the top of the stairs.
“I could get rid of a couple of Brachen demons,” Buffy suggested with a shrug. “I mean … I am the Slayer.”
Spike snorted a soft laugh. “You’d do that for little ole me?” he asked in mock disbelief.
“Just say the word,” Buffy assured him with a nod. “They’ll be drowning in bear pee … they probably won’t stop running until they hit Texas…”
**~**
(Next day), Friday, May 14th, 2010, 4:30pm:
Bess sat on her bed and read the ‘California Driver’s Handbook’ one more time. Spike promised to teach her how to drive just as soon as she could correctly tell him what all the signs meant and understood the rules of the road. It didn’t seem all that complicated, but she wanted to make sure she had it down pat before he quizzed her … this was the sixth time she’d read the book in the last three days.
Buffy had gone with Faith to scope out warehouse space that Giles could lease and use as the new Council headquarters in Sunnydale – somewhere cheap, with some office space and room for meetings and training new Slayers, and also with enough room for all the books and other magical doo-dads that still needed to be researched and catalogued before they could be sold.
Spike was still asleep, Annie was doing her homework, and JJ, Dani, and Billy were in the ‘bat cave’ playing video games. Bess had played outside with the kids when they first got home from school; Annie, Billy, and JJ had ridden their bikes to the park while she and Dani took turns on Dani’s Spiderman skateboard, following behind them. Bess was quickly learning that she loved anything with wheels … the skateboard was ‘awesome!’ … a new word she’d picked up quickly from all the kids.
Bess was a little disappointed when Annie said they needed to get back home because she had homework to do. Bess enjoyed being outside, not cooped up indoors, but she knew that schoolwork was important, too, and since she was the official babysitter while Buffy was gone and Spike was sleeping, where the kids went, so did she.
Bess looked around her room … There was the ninja poster from Dani on one wall, a poster of the Tower Bridge in London from Annie on another wall, and a poster of the solar system, with all the planets named, on a third wall … the fourth wall was blank. Buffy said she could add whatever posters she wanted, but Bess hadn’t really figured out what she wanted. Apart from chocolate and things on wheels, she hadn’t really had time to form any passions for anything like the other children had.
Bess sighed and went back to her Driver’s Handbook … maybe Spike would have time soon to teach her to drive … maybe she’d get a poster of a fast car for the other wall. Tonight she was supposed to patrol with Faith, but maybe tomorrow night Spike could teach her to drive. She asked why Buffy couldn’t do it while the kids were in school, but that idea was met with only hysterical laughter from Spike…
**~**
(Two days later), Sunday, May 16th, 2010, 11am:
“Oh! Bess, check this out!” Buffy exclaimed excitedly, reading from the Sunday morning paper after breakfast. “‘Lifeguard Certification Course. The Sunnydale YMCA is offering a Lifeguard Certification Course starting Saturday, June 19th.’” Buffy looked up from the paper to look at Bess across the ‘bat cave’, looking over the heads of Dani, Billy, and JJ who were on the couch, in order to see their eldest daughter. She and Spike were sitting on the floor, he was helping her, giving her pointers and advice, as they all played some race car video game that Buffy didn’t pretend to understand. “You like to swim … you might like that,” Buffy suggested.
Buffy had been trying to find something to spark some outside interest for Bess, something to get her out of the house and mingling with actual people who weren’t them. She had scheduled Bess to start adult night classes in mid-June, after regular school let out, to get her GED. The assessment exam, to see what grade level she was at now so they would know where to start her, was a couple of weeks from now on a Wednesday morning. This Lifeguard class started after that and it was during the day, so it wouldn’t interfere with the GED classes – it would work perfectly.
Bess shrugged slightly, then nodded, never taking her eyes off the TV screen as she careened her car around a corner, shifting her body to the side and matching the movements on the screen, barely squeezing through between the wall and JJ's car in her quest for victory over the other kids. “Yeah … that might be fun,” she agreed. She did like to swim and she was trying to fit in. She knew the other kids had outside interests: soccer and gymnastics and dancing … maybe hers could be swimming.
“Great,” Buffy smiled, happy with herself for finally finding something that she thought Bess would like, and Lifeguarding kinda fit in with Slaying … well … sort of, in completely opposite ways. Well, they both involved helping people, so it wasn’t all that different.
Suddenly Bess shrieked in victory as Billy's car careened off the wall and spun out just as Bess passed him and the checkered flag waved on the TV while the game declared her the winner. Bess hugged Spike's neck and then jumped up to do a victory dance ... it was the first time she'd won any of the video games that the other kids had taught her. Everyone, even the losers, laughed at Bess' excitement at finally defeating the younger, more experienced players. Well, at least she was a gracious winner ... victory lap around the couch notwithstanding.
(later the same day) Sunday, May 16th, 2010, 9pm:
“Steep grade.
“Come to a complete stop, look both ways, then go when cross traffic is clear.
“School crossing; watch for and yield to pedestrians.
“Rail Road Crossing. Watch for trains.
“Slippery when wet.
“Divided highway.
“Workers… uhh … working.
“No parking.”
Bess smiled proudly as Spike pointed to different signs in the driver’s handbook and she told him what each one meant. Buffy was upstairs getting the kids ready for bed; it was Spike’s night off … if Bess could pass this bit, he was sure to let her drive tonight.
“What side o’ the road do we drive on here?” Spike questioned.
“The right,” Bess replied confidently.
“What do you do if you’re going over the speed limit and you come up on a copper sittin’ on the side of the road?” Spike questioned.
Bess furrowed her brow … she didn’t remember that in the handbook. “Slow down?” she guessed.
“Too late to slow down, they done hit ya with their soddin’ radar… what do you do?” Spike questioned further.
“Ummm … I don’t know,” Bess admitted, her shoulders sagging. She’d read that damn book ten times, she didn’t remember anything about that.
“Watch in your rearview, if he don’t pull out, then just keep going; if he does, turn into the first crowded parkin’ lot you can find, park, and duck down in the car or hightail it into the store…” Spike advised.
Bess raised her brows – that definitely was not in the book. “Run and hide?” she questioned.
“Works over half the time…” Spike assured her with a smirk.
“Is that legal?” Bess wondered.
“Not running ... just choosing to shop suddenly,” Spike pointed out with a shrug. “Free country … Can park in any parking lot you bloody well want.
“Ok …” Spike continued, waving his arm towards the door leading to the garage. “Time to find out who you inherited your drivin’ skills from, me or your mum…”
Bess smiled gleefully and jumped up off the couch, ran to the garage and jumped into the driver’s seat of the DeSoto before Spike was even halfway across the great room.
“No bloody way …” he chastised her. “Nobody drives Vader but me…” Spike explained, holding up the keys to the minivan and tilting his head towards the driveway. The kids had named the old, black monstrosity ‘Darth Vader’ some years ago … it seemed to suit the old car.
Bess frowned … she was sure the black behemoth would be much faster and more fun than the blue minivan. She got out of the car despondently and headed past Spike’s Harley towards the driveway and the minivan. “Will you teach me to drive the motorbike, too?” she asked, running a hand over the seat of the Harley as she passed.
Spike’s brows shot up. “Let’s see whose driving genes ya got first, pet…”
Spike shooed her over to the passenger seat and he drove the Blue Bomber to the deserted parking lot at the mall, pointing out the different controls on the dash to her as he drove. Bess watched with rapt attention to everything he was showing her: the speedometer, in miles and kilometers per hour … don’t get those confused, the fuel gauge, the gas pedal, the brake, the transmission gear selector … on and on it went.
**~**
“WOOOO-HOOOO!” Bess screamed in delight as she sped Buffy’s Blue Bomber across the deserted parking lot before slamming both feet down on the brake and turning the wheel hard to the right, sending the minivan into a 360° spin, just like she’d seen on TV.
“Bloody fucking hell!” Spike exclaimed as he braced his feet against the dash and held onto the handle above the door.
When the van came to a stop, Spike quickly reached over and turned the key off before Bess could take off again.
“What’d you do that for!?” she questioned, reaching for the ignition, but being thwarted by Spike who still had a hold of the key.
“’Cos you’re gonna get us both bloody killed!” Spike chastised her, leaving one hand on the key and shifting the van into park with the other. "It's not a soddin' video game!"
“I know it's not ... and no one got killed … it’s fun! Didn’t you think it was fun!?” she questioned, her eyes wide with excitement.
“Maybe if we were on a ride at Disneyland that’d be fun!” Spike continued to rant, pulling the key out of the ignition. “Not in your mum’s bloody car! Bloody hell! You coulda’ rolled the soddin’ thing … if that didn’t kill us, your mum woulda!”
Bess had started out really well, easily following Spike’s instructions to speed up or slow down or stop, turn right and left, she even backed up over a hundred yards, keeping the van in a perfectly straight line, and pulled into parking places with no problem. Spike had started to think that she had inherited his driving skills … now he wasn’t so sure. Somewhere in there Evel Knievel had snuck in to the DNA … on the plus side, she certainly didn’t have any fear of driving and she handled the spin like a seasoned stunt driver … albeit, one high on recreational drugs.
Bess folded her arms over her chest and her bottom lip protruded in a dangerous pout. “I didn’t hurt it …” she pointed out.
“Not this time …” Spike muttered. “That’s not exactly ‘Defensive Drivin’ 101’ … c’mon – out ya go,” Spike instructed, waving his hand at her, shooing her out of the driver’s seat.
Bess frowned and her shoulders sagged as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. Spike slid over to the driver’s seat as Bess walked around and got back in the passenger’s side.
“I’ll get your mum to sign you up for Driver’s Ed… you can wreck their bloody cars,” Spike informed her as he started the van and headed for home with his dejected passenger.
“I guess that means you won’t teach me to drive the motorbike,” Bess moaned.
“That’d be a bloody brilliant guess…”
**~**
(Later that week), Wednesday, May 19th, 2010, 6pm:
Buffy rushed in after working all day at the Magic Box laden with pizza boxes. She'd told Spike earlier that she had a craving for pizza; real, honest-to-goodness, all American, take-out pizza from Little Italy, and by God, she was gonna have some. He didn't argue, despite the extra cost of the 'delicacy', it was less work for him, and he always voted for that. He had her pick up a triple order of spicy wings to go with it, for him and Dani – plus Bess had never had them, so she could try them too.
While Buffy was gathering up some 'extras' to go on her pizza, the kids dug into the boxes greedily. Pepperoni with extra cheese was the fan favorite, although JJ also liked the ones with sausage and, although Spike's favorite thing from Little Italy was the extra hot spicy wings, he wouldn't pass up a slice of the 'works' pizza that had everything but the kitchen sink tossed on.
"Ewwwww ... what's that!?" Annie asked with undisguised revulsion as she opened one of the boxes.
Buffy turned away from the cupboards where she was pulling out some extra toppings for her pizza and looked. "Anchovies. Don't touch, that's mine," she insisted as she came to the table with her other goodies to go on top.
"Yeah... I'll try to restrain myself from eating the smelly fish," Annie assured her, closing the box quickly and pushing it away.
"That's gross ..." Billy agreed, looking at his mom. "When did you start eating little fish on your pizza?"
"It's your mum's traditional anchovy pregnancy phase," Spike explained with a smirk as he divvied up the spicy wings between himself, Dani, and Bess. "I'd go for one of the others if I was you, pet... might lose a hand if you try for the little salty fishes," he instructed Bess as Buffy pulled the anchovy-laden pizza to her end of the table and sat down.
"I don't remember an anchovy phase ..." Annie pointed out.
"Oh, I had it," Buffy assured her. "You probably just didn't know what they were then. Back when you were young and impressionable you ate them with me ... you liked them too."
Annie made a face that conveyed both disbelief and disgust as she got her a piece of the pepperoni with extra cheese. "It's a wonder any of us have survived..." she muttered under her breath, trying to shake the thought of eating those nasty little fish.
Buffy worked on her own creation ... she'd been starving for this for days it seemed, as everyone talked and laughed and asked Bess how she liked the different things. Bess nodded her approval of the pepperoni with extra cheese ... unable to talk since her mouth was full to overflowing with the wonder of the all-American, Italian classic. After a few minutes, though, just as Buffy was about to take a bite of her pizza, everyone seemed to go quiet. She raised her eyes up from her creation as she took a bite and saw everyone cringe in horror, even Spike.
"Please tell me I never ate that..." Annie begged, looking at her father.
Spike shook his head and swallowed the bite of chicken wings he had in his mouth with great difficulty. His throat seemed to have constricted ... nearly closing completely in response to what he saw his wife eating. He'd seen some horrific things in his life ... throats torn out, guts used for garters, men flayed alive ... he even endured the torture of listening to an entire Barry Manilow Double-Live album when he was in a wheelchair during Angelus' stay with him and Dru ... but this ... this defied description.
"What?" Buffy questioned innocently, before taking another big bite of her pizza.
"Buffy ... luv ... you really shouldn't mix cravings like that – it's not ... it's not good for the bit ... it's bloody tragic is what it is," Spike informed her.
"It's not my fault! It's what the baby says it wants ... so, actually, it's your fault – Dad," Buffy defended.
"Oh, right ... blame the bloody vampire," Spike muttered under his breath as he sent up small prayer of thanks for the constriction in his throat, at least it was keeping what was already in his stomach down there.
"Anyway, I'm the one that's gonna blow up like a beach ball here ... I have the right to eat whatever I want!" she continued before taking another bite. All the kids dropped their pizzas back on their plates and just stared in wide-eyed horror at the woman who a moment ago had been their mother (or aunt, in the case of JJ) ... now they weren't so sure; perhaps she'd been taken over by a Gross-Out Demon or something. Even Bess had to think what Buffy was eating sounded, looked, and smelled ... bad.
"You know I'd never deny ya anything, pet ... but mixing the peanut butter craving, with the pickle craving, and the anchovy craving, along with the Marshmallow Fluff craving, and topping it all with chocolate sprinkles ..." Spike made a face that mirrored the children's ... utter gross out. "It just shouldn't be done in polite company, luv."
Buffy just shrugged and took another bite, moaning in pleasure. "Don't knock it until you've tried it," she informed them with her mouth still half-full. Buffy reached her hand that held the rest of the 'doctored' pizza slice out towards the group. "Here ..." she offered as a large dollop of Marshmallow Fluff dripped off the pizza, carrying one of the anchovies with it, and splattered on the table.
"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" they all moaned, pushing back from the table in unison and away from her pregnancy pizza.
Buffy shrugged and took another bite. "Suit yourselves, but you don't know what you're missing! How can you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?"
"I'm never gonna have a baby if it does that to you," Annie declared.
Spike nodded his hearty agreement. "Smart girl, you are, pet. Probably be best to just avoid boys altogether ... forever ... just t' be safe."
"Daaaaad!" Annie moaned, rolling her eyes.
**~**