Spike had visited Buffy's house and saw her crying and talking to a picture of him then he heard her state that she missed him... without thinking he had replied.

then he saw her spin around and face the spot where he was hidden in the process she knocked the picture off her dresser. when she strained and saw nothing she basicly collapsed on the floor... and he had watched as she went into hysterics.

and with that he left he couldn't face Buffy because this wasn't his Buffy it was an insane broken one. he had begain walking down the drive when he heard red screaming something about an ambulance to the Whelp.

He ran back to Buffy's house and as soon as he entered the front door he smelt blood. "OH GOD." he ran up the stairs and attempted to open the door, it was locked... he frowned then broke down the door.

Xander and Willow looked at him "Spike?" they said in usion. then Buffy started convulsing. and they turned there attention back to attemptig to stop the bleeding and in the process shoving the glass deeper into her arms.

he growled and pushed red aside. "move 'ure doing it wrong ure 'urting her" he looked at Buffys face She was clearly out of it and yet still crying her eyes out.

"its okay love i'll fix you." he reached down and as carefully as possible pulled the glass out of her delicate arms. then wrapped the rags against it to stop the bleeding.

then the blood seeped throught the rags he realized she had cut the veins. he groaned and looked at Willow and Xander.

"wha- whats wrong SPIKE WHY DID YOU STOP" Willow yelled. He looked up at Willow and tears ran down his face. "the veins are severed i can't fix it." he let a sob escape from him.

Then the realization slipped in. he was gonna lose her again. then he put his lips to her wrist and started to suck the blood.

Xander picked up a porclean ornament of Buffy' s and smashed it over Spikes head. "you bastard you find out shes a gonner and 5 seconds later you drink from her?"

'tis not like that" Spike said quickly. "like hell its not" Xander yelled. "you bleeding whelp if i drink from her then cut off the cirulation to her arms i can 'effing stop the bleeding!"

"oh" Xander said sheepishly. Spike continued on drinking from her then he grabbed the rags and tired them tight around her wrists and took 4 inch thick elastics and put at the top of her arms.

by the looks of it the blood had subsided. for know.

"lets get her onto the bed." Willow suggested. Xander moved as if to pick her up and Spike turned to him and vamped out and growled. "you. will. not. touch. her. whelp.

"like hell i wont she our friend not yours." he continued to attempt to pick Buffy up. Spike punched him in the face and picked Buffy up himself.

he carefully laid her on the bed. she looked quite flushed and pale. she had lost alot of blood and was frail as it was . he wondered if she had been eating.

he carefully carresed her face and pushed her hair out of her face. he then stood up and walked out of the room out of the house and out the driveway.

Xander followed "Where are you going?" "leavin" "well obviously but why" "she cant know im here, she can never know im here, as far as she's concerned you two saved her alright?" Spike said.

"but-" Xander begain. "but nothing she can never know." "fine" Xander said. and with that Spike turned and left, Xander watched him walk for awhile then ran back inside. As he reached Buffy's room he heard the front door open.

Xander went right into her room. and said to Willow. "he's gone. she can never know he was here, never know anything Will he dosent want her to know."

then Giles ran into the room with what looked like a house-call-doctors bag from the 1800's. "oh-god im too late" he looked at Buffy's pale form on the bed. "im too late shes gone. DAMN IT! i knew i'd be the death of her! God she was right just another slayer in the line of duty. What did this to her i'll slash it open"

Xander and Willow looked at Giles fearfully. "Giles calm down she's not dead." "oh" Giles said. "thank-god i dunno what i would do with myself if we had to face her death again.

"what happened" Giles asked. "well we don't exactly know! We came over at Dawns request, and heard a crash and crying then came up here to find her in shock and crying with glass stuck in her wrists" Willow said.

"i know what happened" Xander said. "Willow and Giles looked at him questionly. "she attempted to kill herself."

Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, never in a million years would he think his slayer, his Buffy would go suicide she has so much to live for. her friends, her family, Dawn, then it struck him. a lover, she lacks a lover...no she lacks Spike.

"Xander?" Giles asked. "yeah" "will you go downstairs and make me a cup of tea.?" "um- yeah i guess... sure." Xander replied.

"Willow, now i trust your judgement but do you think theres a possibility we could use the book of Pangea to resurect Spike?" Giles asked. "yeah it would 100% work with no side effects because he's the un-dead. but um we kinda don't have to." Willow stated.

"What do you mean we don't have to, clearly Buffy did this because she is lacking him." Giles said. "Well we already kinda knew that hence the picture of him wrapped in her arms.." Willow pointed to Buffy.

"Oh... well we need to bring him back clearly she will try this again and again till it takes full affect and we lose her." Giles stated. "um again you missed the point where i said we don't have to cause he's kinda um- already back.." Willow says.

"What?" Giles questions. "um yeah we don't know how, or why, but he kinda just showed up and stopped the bleeding... i guess he was lurking and smelled the blood.. and knew it was Buffy's blood. Without him we would have lost Buffy." Willow said

"Well.. thats incredible.. you mean to say he returned from the Hellmouth with no magical assistance?" Giles asks.

"Well yeah i guess... i mean none of us could have done it but me you.. or-or Tara or me...and Angel wouldn't do it he hates Spike... come to think of it i don't think we even told Angel about Spike...then again he's his grand-sire wouln't he like get the tingelies or something.. OH! but not those tingelies because he's not gay..bu-"

"Willow! your rambling, and no i don't thing Angel did it or knows about it he would have told Buffy for sure." Giles says.

"Back here is your steaming hot cup of char." Xander smirked and handed the cup to Giles. "Thank-you Xander." Giles says. "no problem i had to get away from this room anyway the blood was getting to me." Xander said.

"mm-hmm the blood is quite strong do you think we should clean it.. or should we move her so we can keep an eye on her." Willow asked.

" i think maybe we should clean the blood, we really shouldn't move her." Xander said. "Actually Xander i think it would be best to move her in case she wakes up and trys that again." Giles says.

"fine you guys can move her but my nose protests." Xander said. Giles looked at him funny. "Spike punched him in the nose after he tried to touch Buffy he was all reaches to pick Buffy up and there was an exchange of words, a fist and some vamping out." Willow informed him.

Giles just stood there mouth agape. "what wh-why are you making that face?" Xander asked. "so you mean to say spike actually hurt Xander?" Giles said. "well yeah i mean Xander is pretty tough but i think the Vampire strength won out in the end." Willow said.

"no. no. no. i mean Spike actually hurt a human without the chip interfering?" Giles said. Willows eyes went wid faster than Xanders did. "so death takes a chip implanted in your skull out?" Xander asks.

"yeah it does, did i hear something about you touching her?" Spike asked. Giles stood up and looked a Spike "so you are back?" Giles asked.

"i seem to be in living flesh and color." Spike replied. "and you saved her?" Giles asked "i did." Spike said. "Thank-you without you we would have lost her again... for good. and i dont think Dawn would have been able to face that...none of us woul have been ready to face that... speaking of Dawn..." Giles said.

"the little bit ran out the front door with a pack when i was on my way in she said she was going to Janices, that she couldn't stand to be left out any longer and that she would return tomorrow." Spike replied.

"And.. you just let her go with what happened on Halloween 2 years ago?" Xander asked. "well...yeah" Spike replied. "Great...im gonna go grab Anya then head over to Janices to see if she's telling the truth." Xander stated.

"Okay... you sure you'll be fine on your own?" Willow asked.

"Yes willow the 22 year old man that has weapons and know about all the worlds beasties can walk 2 blocks up the road and grab his vengance demon girlfriend." Xander stated.

"Just checking." Willow said. When she and giles turned back to Buffy Spike was Kneeling beside the bed staring into her eyes and holding her hand.

"i thought you didnt want her to know you are here" Willow asked. "times change." Spike replied.

"well i think we need to set up watch times we all take turns watching to see if Buffy's ok and if she wakes up or not." Willow suggested.

Spike didnt even turn his head he just simply replied "No. i'll stay with her the WHOLE time." Giles began to protest.

"i said i'll stay she looked after me many aa time when i was out of it cause of 'm sould and when i first got the chip i owe everything to her."

"No Spike we have to take shifts it's safest." Giles replied then Spike vamped out "i said NO ONE IS TOUCHING HER AND IM STAYING WITH 'ER." Spike turned back to Buffy and lost his Demon face.

and with that Willow and Giles strode out of the room and went downstairs to the kitchen. "i think somethings wrong with him." Giles replied. "well he wouldnt hurt her so they should be fine until we figure out what is wrong with him." Willow replied.

Willow walked over to the fridge and pulled out some milk and retrieved a glass from the cupboard, she poured the milk and strode back over to the island and sat down across from Giles.

she stared at the milk while she pondered how to ask the question she knew he was thinking. "do you think Buffy will be alright?" Willow asked.

"Well Willow theres no sure way of knowing that i mean she is the slayer so her flesh wounds should heal but she went through something very tramatic and her mind might never truly heal." Giles replied.

"but she'll still be Buffy...Right?" Willow asked. "theres no true way of knowing." Giles replied.

Willow took a sip of her milk.

Spike held Buffy's hand then slowly crawled up into her bed and held her, careful no to touch her wrists. "god pet how i've missed you, i thought about you every day since i've been back,"

"i returned to L.A then Angel Got some Of them Warlocks at Wolfram and Hart to put spells on me and Dawn, keeping her quiet and making me stay there, but that's all changed now, i'm back and i need you, i love you Buffy, come back to me" Spike wispered into her ear.

Buffy moaned, and a tear slid down her face.

Buffy walked down a white hallway and entered the restfield graveyard she walked a bit until Spike appeared he startted walking.. and she followed him. "wait i-i dont understand how how are you back, i missed you so much i-"

he stopped infront of a gravestone then pointed to it... it was her gravestone it read: Buffy Summers took the easy way out and went suicide, no one loved her, and she will not be missed.

then the scene shifted and she kept faling into a dark hole.. over and over and over then it shifter and she was in a field fighting 1000's of demons by herself, then it shifted once again and she was sitting on her bed, it was soaked with blood and her wrists felt like they we're on fire

again and again the scenes shifted and her wrists burned.

then she went into a white room, everything was white, she entered the living room and there was her mother seated on the couch wearing a white pants suit and has white wings.

"mommy?" Buffy asked. "yes Buffy it's me." "oh god mom i've missed you so much." she ran to her mother and hugged her. "i have so may questions" Buffy said. "well i'll do my best to answer them.

"where have you been, are you okay, that day when you died were you scared, are you mad at me, can i die, have you seen Spike, were you in heaven?"

"i have been in heaven Buffy, yes i'm okay but i miss you and Dawn terribly, no iw as not scared when i died, i felt at peace, and no dear i could never be mad at you..okay well yes i could be mad at you but im not, i have no reason to be mad, no i haven't seen Spike why is he dead?"

Buffy lowered her head and put her hnds in her lap, yeah mom, Spikes dead, tears begain to roll down her face, and at that moment her mother understood.

"you love him?" Joyce asked. "I think so.. i mean he saved me time and time again, he sacrificed himself for me, he got his soul for me, he's smart, sexy, totally a dumb blonde at times, he understands me, he cares for me... or he did."

"Buffy you have to return to your friends know, they need you, you need them." Joyce said

"But mom i need you," "no Buffy you don't i love you, always have, always will, know go back go back to your lovers arms."

"my what?"

Buffy started to shift her position, Spike leaped up and ran down the stairs,





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