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Chapter 20: Transparent

Over Angel’s bulky shoulder Spike sees her. Angelic in her white sweater she holds baby Connor as Holtz steals her axe away from her. Once Holtz wraps his fingers around the metal handle time begins to move like molasses, slowing nearly to a stop. He sees her grip around the child tighten protectively as her grip on the axe is lost completely. Holtz in turn rears his weapon back, his eyes squint, mouth thins, and he aims the axe at her round swollen stomach.

Her eyes squeeze shut, their lashes interlacing, anticipating the sharp blow to come. Spike pushes forward but he’s not fast enough. His limbs are just as sugary slow as the world around him. The axe swings, it cuts through the air and connects with Buffy’s belly. The power in the blow could decapitate a demon in one swift cut. Anger, fear, and vengeance boil in Spike’s veins and he has Holtz locked in his sight. Spike has his hand wrapped around the man’s neck before the axe even hits the ground; its blade curled back and clean. Spike doesn’t notice.

Buffy looks down to her stomach afraid to find blood, to find herself cut open and her baby dead, but she does not find this. Not even a single thread on her sweater has been severed. Her eyes move to lock on Spike then. His fangs have descended and are at Holtz’s throat. Her mouth parts but she doesn’t have time to scream. Holtz’s eyes go wide. Angel moves his hand to Spike’s shoulder trying to pull him away, but he cant. It’s already done.

The pain, Spike never thought he’d feel pain like this. It hurts more than the sun on his skin, more than an organ crushing his spine, more than any zap the chip has given him before. The blood is rushing down his throat but the exhilarating taste of fresh human blood is blocked from his mind as his brain is boiled and melted into mush. The pain is unfathomable but Spike doesn’t stop, even as his consciousness wavers Spike pushes on through the pain. Then finally Holtz’s heart stops beating and Spike falls to the ground with his dead body, unconscious.

“Spike!” Buffy shouts in a pained cry of a yell.

Both she and Angel rush to Spike’s fallen form. As she kneels Angel takes the crying Connor out of her arms. He holds him close then checks Holtz for a pulse and finds him dead. Buffy doesn’t even realize that tears are rolling down her face as she rolls his body over. His mouth is stained with blood, his body completely limp, Buffy runs her fingers across his brow and looks down at him in fear.

--

Sahjihan materializes like smoke out of thin air. He's standing in the shadows across the street from the Summer’s home, and watches as Holtz’s dead body is carried out of the house. He frowns. Two human like demons drag him off and throw his corpse into the back of a van. His plan has failed. Angel still lives, Connor still lives, even the Slayer and her unborn demon spawn have survived. Sahjihan knows that these children will grow into great warriors. He knows they will kill him one day, but he cannot touch a hair on their heads. Sahjihan fades away vanishing into a cloud of smoke once again knowing that he will have other opportunities to fight his fate, he has many years before the prophecy is set to take place, and in those years the powers of darkness will come forward to fight against them. For now, there’s nothing he can do, but wait for another opportunity to present itself.

--

The house is silent. Xander is in Dawn’s room fixing her door and boarding up her window. He had gone up to Dawn’s room shortly after the battle was won outside. Buffy caught his expression as he looked from Holtz’s dead body on the ground to Spike’s bloodied lips. She could tell there were words he had wanted to say then but to her surprise and gratitude he remained silent.

The demons that had died in the lawn disintegrated moments after the bright light from Cordelia’s body had faded, but the corpse of Holtz had remained and after Angel and Xander had carried it down stairs Anya contacted some of her old demon friends to remove of it.

Now Willow sits on her bed with an afghan wrapped around her shoulders, Tara at her side calming her. Cordelia is resting in the living room with Connor in her arms; Dawn is sitting beside her. And Buffy stands in her room.

--

Spike lies unconscious on Buffy’s bed, still as a corpse. A bowl of bloody water sits on the nightstand with a now ruined towel resting in it. Angel had picked him up and moved him to her room for her, then silently she went about cleaning him up. The mystery that was her inability to be cut by an axe was forgotten as Spike became her priority. Dawn had stopped in wanting to be reassured that Spike was okay, but Buffy couldn’t answer any of her questions. She couldn’t tell her that he’d be okay and so un-consoled Dawn left her sister to tend to Spike alone. Now Angel returns as she stands silently before her bed watching over him. He moves to stand beside her.

“Will he be okay?” Buffy asks in a shaky voice.

“I don’t know,” Angel answers honestly, “but as far as I know, so long as he’s not dust he should recover.”

Buffy nods and the silence returns.

“You in love with him?” Angel asks bluntly and Buffy turns to face him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be outta line here it’s just… this is Spike we’re talking about here.”

“Things are different now.” Buffy keeps her voice smooth and even.

“Yeah I know, you’re pregnant…”The tone of Angel’s voice sounds like he’s trying to brush off Buffy’s reasoning.

“No, before that, things have been different since before that.” Buffy sighs, “And I don’t mean the chip or me coming back from the dead, although I’m sure both of those things play into this… Spike has been changing for a long time; maybe ever since I met him, once upon a time he helped me kill you after all. He may not be good, but he is trying… he’s making a difference.”

Angel just nods, but Buffy doesn’t notice. The things that she’s been starting to realize about Spike have now just solidified in her mind and she fears that she may have figured it all out too late.

“I’m still here for you, Buffy, just know that.” Without another word Angel leaves.

--

“You were right,” Willow says to Tara, tears still streaming down her face. “I thought I understood, but I didn’t, I get it now, I need to stop. I was just trying to help. I wasn’t mad or, vengeful, but there were so many and I needed so much power and when I called for it, it felt…”

“Addicting,” Tara finishes for her then offers her a reassuring glance. She realizes now that the power has been calling to Willow in more ways than she ever imagined before. She’d been feeling the darkness that’s been floating through the air recently, but hadn’t realized until now how much of that power had been targeting Willow; how much she had been taking in. It’s a strong force that’s been taking control of a weak girl. Tara knows though that Willow can be strong enough to resist its hold on her. She just has to learn how.

“I would have let it consume me if Cordelia hadn’t done…. whatever that was that she did.”

“It’s okay hunny.” Tara pulls her into a hug. “Shhh, it’s okay.” Willow sobs into her girlfriend’s embrace as she realizes the true connectedness of power and magic. Everything is connected and pulling at her all the time, realizing that is overwhelming, but sobering at the same time as she knows now that she has so much more yet to learn.

--

Anya walks into the house after disposing of Holtz’s body to find Cordelia sitting alone on the couch. Connor is sleeping in her arms. That image provides her with a wisp of wistfulness as she thinks about the things she wants in her life. She can hear Dawn rooting around in the kitchen knocking over a pot, but she ignores this. She’s focused on the motherly image that Cordelia presents before her. This mortal coil was never a place Anya thought she’d belong but she finds that she wants the things that mortals want. For the first time Anya realizes that she wants the benefits that come along with a finite existence and she understands the beauty of it all. Then she looks over her fiancé’s ex crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

“Just so you know you can’t have Xander back, not ever,” Anya says and Cordelia looks to her with an odd glare.

“That’s okay,” Cordy says, “he’s all yours.” Anya softens after that.

“What was that… thing you did anyway, the glow-y light thing?”

“I don’t really know what to call it. I don’t even really have control over it, it’s more like… instincts, it just takes over.”

“Hmm, well anyway… I’ll leave you and your demon spawn alone, I’m going to find Xander and take him home so we can have many orgasms.”

“Yeah, you have fun with that… and he’s not a demon spawn, he’s a baby, and he’s not mine.”

“Angel would be a demon and so by Connor being his offspring I think the phrase demon spawn is quite accurate… and he might as well be yours, you seem to be filling in the motherly role quite well, and with the way Angel looks at you it would make sense for you to become a family unit.”

Anya smiles then walks off to go upstairs and find Xander; she leaves without any thought to what she’s said as if it were a normal every day topic of conversation. Cordelia just watches her go. What Xander sees in her she doesn’t know, but that’s not what sticks in her head. The way Angel looks at you, that phrase repeats itself. Anya may be odd but she is nothing if not perceptive and Cordelia finds herself wondering just how Angel looks at her.

--

Anya pokes her head into Dawn’s room. The destroyed bedroom door has been removed and the broken glass cleaned up. What remains, what Anya enters to find Xander staring at is Holtz’s blood soaked into the carpet. The expression on his face is a mixture of hatred and disgust. Anya finds herself confused by his state of being.

“Hey,” she says as she enters the room. Xander looks up surprised to see her and his expression softens.

“Hey, sorry, just finishing up.”

“Something wrong?”

“No, why?”

“Your face is doing that scrunchy thing it does when something bothers you.” Xander sighs.

“It’s just… Spike, he kills a man, rips his throat out right before her and she doesn’t even seem to notice, hell she jumped on the nursemaid bandwagon and took him to her room to get him cleaned up… I just… is she ever going to see him for what he is?”

Anya stares blankly at him for a moment then sighs. “Xander… what if it had been me?”

“Huh?”

“What if you had seen Holtz throw an axe at me… what would you have done?”





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