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Chapter 8: Restless

Buffy walks down the beach, the sun is descending on the horizon setting the ocean ablaze in fiery tones of red and orange. Pink clouds like cotton candy line the sky drifting slowly with the cool breeze and soft sand flows between the Slayer’s toes. Her red silk dress drifts in the wind as she moves along the shore toward the dock where a shadowed figure waits for her in the darkness beneath the boardwalk. She tries to make out the face of the man who waits for her, but the shadows are too dark, and he’s too far away. Then Buffy feels pressure around her fingers and she looks down at her hand.

She stops walking and kneels down to come face to face with the boy whose small hand rests in her own. It’s now that she realizes for the first time that her baby bump is gone. Buffy looks into the brilliant blue eyes of the dark haired boy and he smiles at her.

Buffy’s eyes open and her hands immediately move to her belly. She turns her head and sees the numbers 12:00 in red digits on her alarm clock. It’s midnight. Buffy realizes that she must have been more tired than she thought when she came home at two that afternoon. Talking to Dawn will have to wait until morning as she’s sure her sister is fast asleep. Buffy sits up in bed, images of the small boy from her dream fill her mind and the Slayer rubs her belly.

--

After a short spout of tossing and turning thinking over how Xander must still be upset with her and even Willow’s look of fear when she asked if she and Spike were dating has Buffy unable to fall back asleep. Talking with Willow and Tara earlier had calmed her nerves some, especially Willow’s apology, but their reaction and judgment to her being with Spike still weighs on her heart. Just having the truth out there is a huge weight off the Slayer’s shoulders but she still has a way to go before she’ll feel like things are okay with her friends again.

Now wrapped in the white afghan her grandmother gave her mom when she got married Buffy stands on the back porch and looks out into the cool night. Crickets chirp in the distance and the wind howls between the leaves of the maple in the backyard. It’s a peaceful night, a quiet night, and the calm of the world around her sets Buffy at ease. Then she feels the tingling at the back of her neck.

“Hello Spike,” Buffy says calmly and the vampire steps out of the shadows and into the light of the moon. His hands are thrust deep in the pockets of his duster and he looks on at Buffy with a bashful face, as if he were a small child with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

“’ello love,” Spike responds and looks up at her with a small grin and loving eyes. “I wasn’t sure you’d be up.” Buffy shrugs.

He looks at her inquisitively; this isn’t a moment where he plans to push his feeling on her, he doesn’t want to push anything on her. Right now things feel delicate to Spike, and although he knows he shouldn’t care, he realizes that the one thing he wants more then to shag the Slayer again is to be in her life with their child. It’s a rather confusing emotion for the vampire.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Well that makes two of us.” Buffy rolls her eyes knowing that this time of night would be like noon for a vampire. “You care for some company?” Buffy shrugs and Spike moves to stand beside her on the porch. It’s been a while since they’ve shared a moment of peace and quiet such as this, but Buffy finds herself just as comfortable in this moment as ever before, even after all they’ve been through recently. “You really told your friends ‘bout…” Us Spike wants to say, but he decides to avoid the word not wanting to ruin the Slayer’s good mood, “about… you know.”

“Yeah,” Buffy says in earnest.

“How’d that go?”

Buffy shrugs. “Could’ve been better… Xander’s not talking to me, but Willow and Tara are… supportive.” Spike nods and another wave of silence passes between them.

“And the kid sis?”

“I was gonna tell her tonight but I fell asleep. I’m telling her tomorrow… really don’t know how that’s gonna go, mom-speeches aren’t really my thing and now I have to give one about me being a mom and could I be any worse of a role model right now, and what if this segues into the sex talk and I… I just don’t know.”

Buffy takes a deep breath then sits down on the top step pulling the afghan tighter around her shoulders. After a moment Spike sits down beside her.

“If you want I could come by tomorrow, we could tell her together, the bit an’ I get off well.” Buffy looks at Spike and a moment passes where she thinks over his offer. Memories of Dawn’s fondness for Spike float through her head, memories of her sneaking over to his crypt, of her teenage crush, and memories of Spike putting his life on the line to save her.

“Yeah… I mean if you want to, that might be… nice.” Their eyes meet and for a moment they each catch the twinkle in one another’s eyes, then Buffy looks away. They sit in silence for a while both staring into the moonlit yard glad just to be in one another’s company. It’s been so long that they’d shared any quiet time together that Buffy has forgotten how often he’d meet her on these back steps just to sit and talk, to listen. It feels nice having him around without the pressure of an impending passionate affair. Then she feels it.

“Oh,” Buffy says as she feels a surprise kick from within her belly. She looks down at her stomach and places her hand atop it.

“What?” Spike asks with concern in his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

“No… no, it… he just kicked.” Their eyes meet and Buffy smiles. Then she feels it again. The tiny sensation fills her with joy. “Here,” Buffy says as she takes his hand and places it upon her belly. His large fingers palm her round stomach tentatively. She feels the baby kick and watches Spike’s face as he feels it too. He lights up, eyes growing wide and sparkling while his lip curls in wonder and Buffy can’t help but smile. So lost in awe Spike finds himself completely speechless. “Guess he’s just like his parent’s already.”

“You keep saying that.”

Buffy’s brow creases. “Saying what?” She asks confused.

“Him.” An image of the boy from Buffy’s dream floats through her mind.

“Oh… yeah, I guess I just think it’s a boy… I don’t know, I haven’t had an ultrasound or anything, but… it seems right.” Spike nods then removes his hand from her belly and sits back.

“A boy,” Spike says rolling around the thought of having a son in his mind. It feels good, really good.

--

The kitchen door bursts open at ten am with a blanket clad and smoking Spike rushing through it. He quickly slams the door then drops his blanket to the ground and looks up to see Buffy, Willow and Tara all staring at him. Buffy sits at the breakfast counter while the witches are at the sink doing dishes. Lucky for him the blinds have been drawn closed and he’ll be safe from the sun’s rays.

“Mornin’,” Spike says then notices as the witches glance at each other.

“You really need to find a less flammable time of day to take a walk,” Buffy says.

“Ha bloody ha… the bit up yet?” Buffy sighs.

“Not as of yet… I’ve been up since eight.”

“Ah well, that would be one of the joys of being a teenager, sleepin’ in till noon.” Buffy glances to the clock, 10:02.

“Ugh… I can’t wait till noon,” Buffy says as she stands and moves to the end of the staircase. “Dawn!” She yells at the top of her lungs. “Come down here I need to talk to you.” She makes her way back into the kitchen just in time to see Willow and Tara drying their hands.

“We’re gonna give you guys some time alone,” Tara says as she and Willow exit the kitchen. Buffy takes a few steps closer to Spike then she hears Dawn thudding down the stairs.

She turns around just in time to see the teen turn the corner into the kitchen. Her dark hair is a mess of tangles and she wears a large tee shirt and purple pajama pants. At first she looks at Buffy with tired and annoyed eyes, but then she notices something different about her sister. This being the first time she’s seen Buffy in anything form fitting in weeks Dawn’s mouth drops as she takes in the sight of the baby bump on Buffy’s midsection.

“Dawn, could you um… sit down, I… I mean, Spike and I have something we’d like to talk to you about.” Spike takes a step to stand behind Buffy, and Dawn still staring like a deer caught in headlights, moves over to the island and sits down.

“Buffy… what happened, you…”

“Dawn, the thing is… I… well,” Buffy babbles.

“The thing is nibblet your sis and I are going to have a baby,” Spike says ending his sentence with a bright grin on his face and Buffy finds herself glad to have him here.

“Oh My God!” Dawn leaps out of her chair and flings her arms around Buffy in a huge hug. “This is so great!” The girl gives out a squeal of excitement. “So this is why you’ve been all fashion-victim-y-sweats are my life this past week… Oh my God, this means I get to be an aunt, does everyone else know? Wait, of course they know, so… how come you waited so long to tell me, I mean Buffy, you’re huge.”

Buffy frowns and looks down at her belly. She knew it was noticeably bigger but she didn’t think she was huge just yet.

“Hey, I’m Not…” Never mind Buffy thinks, “I’ve only known for the past week, Willow did a spell that’s making it go by faster.”

“Oh… so does this mean that you guys are… you know, seeing each other?” Buffy freezes up and her words catch in her throat, she knows though that she can’t rely on Spike to jump in on this one. They seem to have come to a meeting of minds that they’d be in each other’s lives for the sake of their baby, but Buffy knows that Spike wants more, it’s just that she doesn’t… right?

“No,” She says and can feel Spike’s disappointment radiating off him from behind her, she refuses to turn back and see that disappointment across his face. “We’re not…” Buffy’s mood darkens for a moment. She realizes that she and Spike make pretty good friends when they’re not talking about themselves, but the second the conversation turns anywhere into the vicinity of relationship talk it’s like a huge distance comes between them.

“Buffy I know how babies are made, I took health.”

“I know, but…”

“Look here nibblet,” Spike says. “The thing of it is that… sometimes things happen between adults that aren’t exactly planned, your sis and I, we’re gonna try an’ do this thing proper… do it together, but we’re not… together.” Buffy turns to Spike and finds herself amazed at just how mature he’s being about the whole situation, it’s more than she ever expected. She stares at him with inquisitive eyes and offers a sincere smile. Then she looks to her sister and sees the excitement fade from her blue eyes some and her face falls just a bit.

“Oh,” Dawn says, “but you are gonna be around for the baby yeah?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”





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