Author's Chapter Notes:
So, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for taking so long in updating this. I'm ahead with the chapters, I have up to chapter 9 written, but I'm having so hard with chapters 9 and 10, so it's taking me a bit longer. I don't want to rush so that I give you a bad chapter though, so I'm taking my time so write it out the best I can. So yeah lol. With that said, Thank you to Embers and Flames, and magnus374 for reviewing, and also sallyntmare for beta'ign and reviewing me!
Spike pondered what The First, in the form of Nikki Wood, had just said, as it vanished from the shabby motel room. Who or what, was on it’s way? He needed to prepare himself to defend his Childe, his Mate. It angered him that he couldn‘t. He wouldn‘t know what the threat was until the thing showed it‘s face.

There were numerous possibilities, that came to mind. It could be Angelus, but no, it puzzled him that he could have been awoken. The only way, he knew of, was a perfect moment of happiness to bring him out. As far as he knew, Buffy was the only one able to do that. Spike was certain that she hadn’t been to see Angel in a while. Also, if he had become his more evil self, Spike would have felt the change through the blood line.

That settled the possibility of him being the threat. It wasn’t and couldn’t be Angelus.

There was the possibility of Buffy’s friends, her family. Anything was possible with that lot. He was certain that Dawn and Anya wouldn’t do anything to harm Buffy; it was the others that posed a threat, The Whelp, Red, and The Watcher. Spike knew, very well, what they thought about vampires. They’re evil, soulless, need to be killed. The Watcher could be the biggest threat of them all. The council probably put an ‘In case of Slayer turned Vampire’ survival booklet in the job description manual. The Watcher could put it into effect the moment he found out about Buffy’s turning.

Then again, Buffy and Rupert have a relationship, that a daughter and father would have. That, and The Watcher knows there is more than just black and white in the demon world. The council, however, they seem to have an ‘If it isn’t human or animal, kill it’ mentality that…

The Council! That had to be it!

Quickly rolling over, he started to shake Buffy, trying to pull her out of her sleep.

“Buffy, pet, come on. Wake up for me, please?” he whispered, knowing full well, she could hear him perfectly. “I need to talk to you about something very important.”

“It couldn't wait until I woke up, myself?” Buffy asked as she rolled over to glare at Spike. “I don't wanna talk…wanna sleep.”

“You can sleep, just after we discuss this. We need to get moving, I don't know how much time we have.”

“Okay, what's the what? You're scaring me.”

“Well, while you were sleeping, I had a little visit from the First,” he said with so much venom in the sound of his voice, she was sure that the First felt a sting. “It said that its original plan to turn you so that you kill me, then kill yourself isn't panning out, so now it has something better planned.”

Buffy looked at him as if he had two heads, but nodded for him to continue. “It said, ‘Something that wants her dead—just as bad as I do—is on its way, and you’re going to be just as powerless to stop it'.”

Buffy shook her head, trying to empty her thoughts, so she could process the new information. She already had so much thrust upon her, that she hadn’t even had time to come to terms with being a vampire, and now she had a reminder that the First wants her dead and gone.

“You've got to be fucking kidding me!” she groaned, collapsing back onto her pillow.
The part of her that was still a Slayer kicked into high gear, putting all of the bad things that happened in the last couple days behind her, so she would be able to deal with the important task at hand. “Okay, then. What do you think could be coming?”

“I don't rightly know,” Spike answered. “I'm thinking possibly the Council.”

Buffy shook her head. “It can't be. I would think it would be them too, but I saw Giles yesterday, before I went looking for you. He told us that the Council was blown up, most likely by the first. All that was left behind was a few books and papers. No one survived except the few Watchers that were taking care of the Potentials. And even they are being attacked by the Bringers. Very few of them are still alive.”

“Well, that changes everything then, doesn't it.” Spike said in disbelief.

“You're telling me,” she replied and shrugged. She'd always had the Council in the back of her head, wondering when they were going to do something to jeopardize her life. Now that they were gone, she didn't have to look over her shoulder any more. It was a big difference. “So, what are we going to do?” she asked.

“I don't really know, but we need a plan to break all of this new information to your Watcher. He needs to know, so we can set a plan of attack into motion. I won't let anything happen to you, I prom—”

“Don't,” Buffy whispered, cutting him off. “Don't say that word to me. That word is no longer in my vocabulary, understand? Let's just...come up with a plan so we can get through this.”

“Buffy...you have to—”

“Don't you dare tell me what I have to do,” she commanded, holding back the unshed tears in her eyes the best she could. “You have no say, Spike. First, we deal with The First and the new danger, then we can figure out what to do about what has happened between us. I just... need some time.”

Spike frowned, but nodded, not wanting to upset her any further.

“How do we break the news to the Scoobies? We need to tell them about what has happened to you, so you‘re able to get back into your house.”

“We lie.” Buffy said simply.

“What?” he said incredulously. “What do you mean, we lie?”

“We tell them that you found me already turned, you dusted him, End. Of. Story.“

Spike nodded before he looked at his feet at the end of the bed as thoughts floated around in his head. “Why are you trying to protect me?” He asked, refusing to look at Buffy.

Buffy cupped the side of his cheek, gently pulling his face toward hers so they made eye contact. “Because you're my Sire. I need you, and if they knew....they'd... I can't lose you. Not now. Not after everything that's happened. I need you now more than ever. They can't know, Spike. They just can't.”

Spike felt the full weight of the situation settle on his shoulders, knowing that they wouldn’t be here, in this particular situation, if it wasn't for him. He wanted to kill the First. He wanted to rip it's head off and bathe in it's blood. He didn't care who’s face it wore at the time, he just wanted it dead and gone. If only he could rewind the clock, take everything that he'd done to Buffy back, do things properly from the beginning, do what was right for the both of them. Things would be different now, Buffy would be human again, like she deserves.

If he were in a perfect world, he would have been able to ignore the First, to shut out that stupid song that made him obey it's every command. Then he would have saved Buffy, made sure everything was how she wanted it to be. Now she was stuck as a vampire, with no clear outcome of how her life would turn out from now on. She deserved what was right for her, and no matter how much Spike loved that he didn't have to fear for her life every time she went out to slay, because she was impervious to a lot more than she was when her heart was beating. He also loved the fact that she would live for a very, very long time; he no longer had to prepare himself for the day she left this world, leaving him and her mark on the world behind. She didn't want any of this, though. Spike wanted her to have everything she wanted, and now she never could. It killed him that he took that away from her.

All he had now was forever; forever to make a change, to make a new start with her. He would also make certain that no one would harm her, in her fight to keep the world safe.

He felt his feelings solidify, as said girl in question nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck, trying to get as close to him as possible. He inhaled her scent as he reveled in the fact that she hadn't killed him, when suddenly he smelled something familiar to him. The smell of blood, fear and death. She was drenched in it, and he found himself wondering how he hadn't noticed it before. Buffy had killed, committed the ultimate Slayer crime, and it shocked him that she was acting as if it had never happened.

Spike whimpered, the weight of his actions weighing him down even further. If he had never turned her, a person would still be alive, living their life as oblivious as a Sunnydale citizen would be of the dangers that lurked in the night, and Buffy would have never known what it felt like to take a human life.

“Spike?” Buffy asked, looking up at him with concern. “What's wrong?”

“I'm sorry, love.” he whispered, turning to his side, pulling Buffy with him so he was able to cuddle with her. “I'm so sorry.”

“Spike... It's okay. We will get through this. I know we will. We just have to--”

“No, Buffy, you don't understand. I did the worst possible thing to you. Something I swore I'd never do, and it all happened so fast.”

“I know, William. I forgive you,” she lied, for both of their benefits. She lied to him and to herself, hoping to subdue the hurt they were both feeling.

“It's all going to be alright.”

TBC


Chapter End Notes:
Reviews? I hate begging, but I'm so nervous that this fic is losing people's interest, because reviews started out strong, and now they're dying down, and it scares me lol. If you could just say... great chapter, or even a smiley face, that would be good enough for me :D I love to hear your thoughts and I always reply, I promise!!

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