Author's Chapter Notes:
This story is getting toward the end now. There are only a few more chapters and an epilogue to go after this.

Warning for graphic sexual situations.
Despite his insistence that Buffy go out for the afternoon with her friends, he couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.





After all there was a psychopathic killer running around town with a yen to do his girl some harm.





A large part of him wished that he’d finished off Angelus when he’d had the chance. He didn’t know why he hadn’t.





Maybe it was the part of him that was still naïve 12 year old William who thought that reading poetry to his mother would somehow provide a salve for her newly broken collarbone and twisted shoulder.





That part of Spike couldn’t kill off another person, no matter what they did.





He wondered if that was his soul.





And damaged or not his soul was still surviving strongly within him.





He poured himself a cup of coffee, purposely restraining himself from reaching for the whiskey bottle on the countertop, and sat down at the table. He glanced up at the clock and figured Buffy should be home soon.





He couldn’t wait to have her in his arms again.





Never before had Spike dreamed that sex could be so universally fulfilling. Every person he had shared his bed with before had been about satisfying one particular need, be it either comfort, safety, passion, pain, money or drugs.





No one had ever been his everything before, not even Drusilla, although he hadn’t realized that at the time.





But Buffy was everything to him when she opened her body to his own.





She was passion, unabridged and beautiful. She was comfort and home.





She was love.





And the last one was the hardest to admit.





Not just because every time he ever loved someone they went away, but also because their relationship would still be considered taboo by so many people.





No matter how beautiful the music they made together might be, strangers would probably view it as a discordant cacophony of sins.





Jumping up when he heard the lock turn in the front door, he wrapped Buffy in a passionate embrace before she was even over the threshold.





“I missed you.” He mumbled into her hair, breathing in the sweet scent of vanilla and berries that surrounded her like a fragrant cloud.





“I missed you too.” She replied honestly, pecking him on the lips.





“Have a good time with your mate, love?” He asked, shutting the door behind her as she walked into the living room.





“Oh, yeah! It was…really nice. It felt good to be able to share stuff with them, you know. Like…I’ve missed that recently.”





“Them?” Spike asked. “I thought you were just meeting up with Red.”





“No, Anya was there too.” Buffy said absently as she took her coat off and sank down onto the couch. “That girl has big ears. She overheard me and Will talking about you.”





“She overheard you talking about me?” Spike tensed with alertness. “What did you say about me?”





“I just told them…that we’re…that we…you know.”





Seeing the thunderous look on her lover’s face, Buffy blanched.





“Should I not have done that?” She inquired in a small voice.





“Let’s see…” Spike sneered, his voice thick with sarcastic irony. “Should you have told your sodding mates that you’re sleeping with your stepfather who’s twice your bloody age, even though you’re still underage? Hmm I think that’s a bloody no-brainer! What do you think, Buffy?”





She shrank back into the couch cushions, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes and blinked in a fruitless attempt to clear her vision.





“I’m sorry.” Buffy said with a pleading edge to her voice. “I didn’t even think…”





“And that’s your whole bloody problem, pet. You don’t think! I trusted you and now you’ve gone off and told your little gang about us. How long will it be before the whole sodding town knows?”





Spike didn’t know why it enraged him so much as the curtain of fury descended in front of his eyes.





Part of him was proud that she wanted her friends to know about the relationship…it meant that it was really real…and he didn’t really believe that her friends would spill the beans.





But all the tension and frustration of the past few weeks was spilling out of him, and he couldn’t put the cork back in.





“They won’t tell anyone!” She yelled. “They’re my friends.”





“All it takes is one slip, and I’m doing a fifteen to twenty stretch using soap on a bloody rope.”





“You’re such an asshole! I would never do anything to hurt you, and all you do is hurt me. If you hate me this much then why do you even want to be with me?”





“Shut your gob and stop acting like such a bloody kid! Is that it? Gonna spit your dummy out your pram every time you don’t like what I have to say to you?” He changed his voice to a high mocking falsetto tone. “Oh Spike! Why won’t you be nice to me? I haven’t done anything wrong!” He derided her. “Just let me shed a few tears and thump my fists against the floor and then you can forgive me.”





Buffy scowled at him.





“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Spike! Because I didn’t do anything wrong. So what if I told my friends about you? That’s what friends do. They tell each other things. Of course you wouldn’t know that because, oh yeah, you don’t have any friends. And I wonder why? Oh…yeah! Because you’re a fucking asshole!”





“Maybe I’m an ‘asshole’. But you’re a bloody vicious little bitch, and I can’t bear to look at you right now.”





His whole stance screamed of his fury and Buffy couldn’t stand to look at him either for another moment.





She hadn’t even done anything wrong. All she had done was confided in her friends. She needed someone to talk to, and this selfish man couldn’t comprehend that.





Jumping to her feet, she stormed past Spike, flashing him a glare and thundering up the stairs.





“Bugger!” He swore.





Now that Buffy had gone off in tears, his anger started to dissipate and he was engorged with fear as he realized just how much he’d hurt her.





Spike just hoped that he hadn’t done any permanent damage to their relationship.





With a heavy heart, he traced her footsteps up the stairs and knocked on her closed bedroom door. Hearing the quiet sobs from inside, he clenched his eyes shut, and knocked again louder this time.





“Go away!” Buffy shouted from the other side.





Heedless of her words, Spike opened the door, and felt his own heart contract at the sight of his girl lying face down on the bed, a little pink pig clutched tight to her chest as the tears flowed freely.





“I’m sorry.” He sat down next to her, wincing when she flinched away from his touch.





“You might be sorry, but it doesn’t change what you said.” Buffy muttered not even bothering to turn her head toward him.





“I didn’t bloody well mean it, love.” Spike sighed. “When you told me that you told your mates about us, I bloody panicked. I got these images of a bunch of bobbies coming in here to cart me off. I do understand that you’ve missed having your pals around, and that you need someone to talk to. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me…or us. I’m actually glad that you told them in a way. It proves this is really something….between us, sweetling. Please forgive me, love?”





Buffy shook her head, wiping her eyes, but she didn’t buck his hand off her shoulder when he laid it there this time.





Sensing that his girl was softening, he bent over her and peppered the back of her neck with tiny butterfly kisses.





At first she stiffened but as he worked a hand under her T-shirt she started to relax and lean into his ministrations. He trailed a hand gently down the outline of her ribcage eliciting a hushed mewl from the teenager.





Turning her in his embrace, he sealed their lips together until she was gasping and panting in his arms.





“I’m sorry too.” She mumbled against his lips. “I shouldn’t have said…what I said to you. I was wrong. I know what you’ve been through…”





“It’s ok, love.” He told her, peeling away her clothes and underwear with lustful desperation. “You’re a feisty little bint.”





She smiled, and hooked her fingers under the hem of Spike’s shirt before hoisting it over his head, revealing his rippling bare chest. His pale skin was gleaming in the soft light of dusk that filtered through the drapes, and she ran a hand over his skin, marveling at the lusty shiver that succeeded her caresses.





She clasped his zipper between her forefinger and thumb, drawing it down, maintaining eye contact with Spike the entire time, reveling in the flash of anticipation that flashed over his face as his engorged erection sprung free from his pants.





Spike kicked off his pants and guided Buffy’s hands to his throbbing cock, unable to contain a moan as her cool fingers made contact with his overheated flesh. She began to pump her fist up and down his member, running her thumb over the slit at the top.





“Fuck, Buffy. So bloody good at that!” He groaned with delight. “Use your mouth, love. Need to feel that cute little gob around my cock.”





Happily obliging him, she engulfed the purple weeping tip of his penis with her pouty cherry lips.





She sucked on the end like it was a candy lollipop before slipping her mouth farther down, swirling her tongue around the end every time she bobbed back up.





Buffy reached down and cupped his balls in her small hand, rolling them in her palm, before removing her mouth from his dick and sucking on each ball in turn, all the while continuing to tightly pump his pulsating penis with her small fists.





It wasn’t long before she had worked him into a gibbering frenzy. His hands were gripping her hair, massaging her scalp as she took him into her throat as far as she could without gagging.





“Fuck! Fuck…Buffy…love….Bloody buggering hell!”





Sensing he was getting close to coming, she removed her mouth and crawled up his body. Disappointed at the loss of the warm wet hea, his eyes shot open but seeing her intentions to ride him he returned the sexy smile she was shooting at him.





Straddling his slim hips with her own she impaled herself on his member and steadied herself with her hands flat on his chest, trailing sharp nails over his highly sensitized nipples.





Spike loved the fact that she was becoming so sexually aggressive. She wasn’t a shy little girl in the bedroom but a wildcat like him.





They were a perfect match.





He gripped her hips and helped to guide her movements as both of their orgasms appeared on the horizon.





Spike had already been close to coming when he entered Buffy, but she was also surprisingly close. He had felt just how wet his girl was when she sank down onto him, so clearly giving him head was just as huge a turn on for her as it was for him.





Moments later their worlds crashed together, like the tide coming in hard against the hot sand. They shrieked each others’ names with gasping zeal, before collapsing together, exhausted yet fully satisfied.





Still shivering from the passion, Buffy sighed in contentment.





However their peace was interrupted by the loud ring of her cell phone.





“Not gonna answer that love?” Spike asked her when she didn’t make a move to retrieve the phone from the pocket of her jeans, which lay discarded on the ground.





“It can wait.” Buffy told him. “Too snuggly to be move-y.”





Ten minutes, and four unanswered phone calls later, Buffy finally crawled out of the warm, comfy bed and away from warm, comfy Spike and accepted the call.





“Oh. Hey Will.” She greeted breezily, running a hand absently through her tangled, sweaty locks.





Spike studied her as she listened to her friend, his brow furrowing as her face paled and her hands picked up a subtle tremble.





“Oh my god!” Buffy exclaimed, listening to her friend’s garbled speech.





A minute later Buffy absently hung up the phone, her mouth gaping and silent sobs wracking through her.





“What is it, pet? What’s wrong?” He asked with concern, jumping out of the bed and rushing over to her.





She let herself be guided to sit down on the edge of the bed, small trembles still wracking her small form.





With big, tear-filled eyes she gazed up at him.





“That was Willow on the phone. She’s at the hospital right now with Xander.” Buffy informed him numbly. “It’s Anya. She’s been attacked.





She dissolved into tears and he cradled her shaking body to his, letting her wail out her pain.




Chapter End Notes:



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