As awareness filled her senses she became acutely aware of the hard body that was lying flush against her. Her back was crushed against his solid chest and she could feel something stiff and firm straining against the curve of her butt. Somehow, she didn’t think that was a pistol in his pocket.
The young blonde gulped and twisted in the iron grip, coming face to face with a sleeping Spike. He looked so innocent and boyish in slumber. The usual sneer and worry lines that marred his face were smoothed away. She managed to swallow her little gasp of surprise at the feelings that his nearness to her provoked. There was something about having him this close that took her breath away.
She didn’t remember him coming to bed the previous night. She’d gone inside to wait for him but apparently the tug of slumber had been too strong. Although she was glad that he hadn’t abandoned her, under no circumstances had she ever expected to awake with him snuggled against her like a teddy bear.
Suddenly the need to escape from his hold took over her. The feelings that he was generating were strange and foreign to her and the teenager didn’t want to focus on them right now.
Or maybe ever.
In an endeavor to be stealthy, the blonde tried to wiggle out of Spike’s grasp without waking him, contorting her neck in an attempt to unhook herself from underneath his well muscled arm. At first she thought it was hopeless as Spike’s hold unconsciously tightened on her, as if he wanted to keep her with him even in the depths of sleep. However, with some smart maneuvering, the blonde finally slipped out from under his arm. Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as she managed to sit up but a voice stopped her cold in her tracks.
“Going somewhere, Kitten?”
Buffy glanced over her shoulder, her eyes clashing with Spike’s stormy gaze. In spite of herself she could not help but notice that he looked very cute with his mussed bed head and bleary eyes. He rubbed them like a little boy just waking up in the morning and Buffy felt her heart momentarily leap in her chest.
Almost as quickly as that feeling arose, Buffy stomped heavily on it. There was no way she should be getting sweet and gushy feelings for Spike Rayne. The man was still evil, however cute he might appear early in the morning.
“I was just gonna go to the bathroom,” Buffy said, clearing away the hoarseness of sleep from her throat. All the crying that she’d done the previous day had roughened her voice giving her a husky quality.
And Spike couldn’t stop himself from thinking it was damn sexy.
“Yeah?” said Spike. “Gonna have a bath are you, love?” His eyes glazed over as he pictured naked Buffy immersed in a tub full of bubbles and rose petals, vanilla scented oil wafting through the air. Maybe she would lift one toned leg out of the water and her delicate fingers would skim the same path as the trickling rivulets of water. Maybe she would even invite him in to scrub her back.
He immediately cursed himself for those thoughts. This girl was making him turn into such a poof.
Hadn’t he learned his lesson with Drusilla?
“Actually I was thinking more in the taking a shower ballpark,” Buffy announced, totally oblivious to his less than savory thoughts. “I don’t trust this place not to be crawling with bugs and that includes the tub.”
“Huh,” Spike agreed, his mind venturing once again to his happy place where naked Buffy was dripping with suds in the shower.
“Uh, earth to Spike!” Buffy finally said when it appeared that his mind had gone AWOL.
“Sorry, pet,” he said sheepishly, thankful that the teenager didn’t glance down. If she had she might have seen some stirrings in his crotch area. “Not quite with it yet this morning.”
Buffy nodded sympathetically. However much she condemned Spike for his bloodline and some of his actions, she still felt bad for what he’d lost.
For what she’d taken away from him.
Suddenly feeling immensely uncomfortable at the reminder of the fact she was a murderer, Buffy rose to her feet and grabbed one of the towels that was laid out on a shelf. Studiously she avoided Spike’s gaze as she made her way into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She didn’t want to look at him right now.
She didn’t want to be reminded of what she was capable of just in case her delicate mental state all came crashing down.
Finally alone, Buffy huffed out a relieved breath. Being in such close proximity to Spike was making her crazy. And for all the wrong reasons.
This morning she’d been noticing things about him that she never should have noticed. It wasn’t right to note the way his eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled, or how his irises darkened slightly when his gaze clashed with hers. There was no rational reason for her to feel warm inside as she looked at his adorable morning hair.
So why the hell was she being plagued with these damn thoughts?
The only explanation that she had for it was that she’d gone insane. It was a plausible explanation after everything she’d been through recently. People lost their minds after much tamer trauma that she’d been subjected to.
And yet, she didn’t feel insane. Well, not any more than normal anyway. There was something deep within her drawing her to Spike. Maybe it was gratitude for saving her life or maybe it was something else but it was real and tangible and Buffy had no idea how she could sever that connection.
She wasn’t even sure that she wanted to sever it.
After all, while they were still connected, he was still in her life and then she wasn’t alone. Being alone was her worst fear and without Spike it would be coming true right about now. Of course that only gave further weight to the gratitude theory.
Most sensible people in her situation would run away as far as possible, but where did she have to go? She couldn’t go back to her father’s apartment because he wasn’t there…he was dead. And she didn’t really have any other family except for an old spinster aunt in Chicago who she hadn’t seen in years. It terrified her to realize that only Spike stood between her and the vast and barren wasteland of loneliness.
It was enough to make anyone lose their senses.
Making a firm resolution to push these thoughts from her mind, Buffy stripped off her raggedy clothes and stepped into the shower. She turned it to the hottest setting that her skin could stand, letting the warm spray wash over her tired body. It revitalized her, washing away some of the pain and hurt that she’d suffered at the hands of tyrants and sadists.
So many people had hurt her since she’d become property of the Rayne dynasty. They’d hurt her body, her heart, and her soul and she wasn’t sure that she would ever truly heal. The scars ran deep and she felt like she would always carry the blemishes of the pain she’d recently learned to endure.
But maybe she could learn to move on, learn to move forward.
In the safety of the bathroom, under the heated spray of the shower, Buffy let her tears fall one more time. Only this time she didn’t weep tears of pain. They were cathartic tears that erased the hurt and gave her a new slate on which to draw.
A new slate for the future.
When Buffy finally returned, looking hot and flushed from her shower, Spike cracked a smile. For the first time since he’d seen her she actually looked carefree. She looked like an innocent teenager, even wrapped in a towel in a nasty motel room.
“Enjoy your shower, pet?” he asked, running a hand over the back of his neck. He didn’t dare tell her what he’d been thinking about while she was in there. If he admitted that he’d been visualizing her running her hands all over her soft curves, dipping them inside her most intimate area and gently caressing her clit with tender fingers then he was sure she could punch him, kick him in his cojones or call him a pervert.
Maybe all three.
But that didn’t change the fact that he longed to wrap his hand around the thick length of his cock and pump it to her image. God, if she would do it for him then he felt like he could die a happy man. Maybe he would die even happier if she allowed him to return to favor. But he reminded himself that his attraction to her was based solely on lust and nothing else. Wanting to please the girl for pleasure’s sake was venturing into perilous territory for his heart.
“Um, yeah my shower was okay. Very…uh…wet,” she replied, hoping that he couldn’t tell she’d been crying. The last thing she wanted was for Spike to think she was some big crybaby hanging around his neck like an albatross. Tightening her towel around her body, she shrugged. “I feel better now anyway.”
The thought of a wet Buffy sent a blissful shiver through him and he felt like he needed to get the hell out of there. She couldn’t know what she was doing to him, but he was totally aware of it. With a sigh he reached into his back pocket and pulled out what he needed.
“That’s good, pet.” He approached her. “Because there’s something I need to do.”
Before she could say anything he was stretched over her, pushing her down to the bed. His mouth was only a whisper away from hers.
“What are you doing?” she asked, shivering as his hands pushed her arms above her head.
His fingertips caressed the undersides of her arms as they were pinned above her by him. “Sorry love. But I have to do this.”
“What…?”
Buffy glanced up Spike pinned her to the bed, and secured a metal cuff around her wrist before clipping the other ring to the metal bed frame.
“What the hell are you doing, Spike?” Buffy screeched. She tugged on the cuff but it was secured to the bed frame and there was no way she could detach it short of chewing off her own arm.
She knew she shouldn’t have trusted him. Had he just been biding his time until he tied her up and ravaged her body? And why didn’t that sound as bad as it should?
However, his next words surprised her.
“I need to pop out,” he said casually. “Get us some supplies and food. Bloody ho hos and ding dongs have the nutritional value of a piece of chalk and that’s all there is around here. Not to mention I need to get you some bloody clothes.” He flashed a pointed look at her state of near nakedness, even though the important bits were covered by the towel.
“And I need to be cuffed to the fucking bed while you’re doing that because…?”
“Can’t risk you toddling off somewhere,” he told her simply, as if it should have been obvious.
“Where the hell would I go, Spike? I got no clothes, no place to stay, no car!”
“And you’re also a resourceful little chit. If you wanted to get out of here and go on the lam I have no doubt you could do it. This way I’m reassured.”
Buffy frowned. “Why does it even matter to you now?” she probed. “Ethan’s gone, right? So with all of his deadness, I wouldn’t think you’d even need me anymore.”
Spike turned away from her, not wanting the teen to see the blush that formed on his face. He didn’t want her to think he’d turned into an absolute poof, blushing over his growing feelings for her.
And he knew now that there were feelings, even if they were only the lusty kind.
After spending the night cradled against her warm heat there was no question he wanted her. He craved her more strongly than he’d ever desired any woman before. Including Drusilla. That revelation was the most startling to him. Drusilla had once occupied his whole heart as well as controlling his loins. The thought that someone else might be the puppet mistress for his lustiness was simultaneously disconcerting and exciting.
Not that Buffy had control over his heart.
Or so he kept telling himself.
“I need to go and get us the stuff, okay.” Spike picked up his coat from the back of the chair and slipped it over his T-shirt. Realizing he was starting to smell a little ripe himself, he made a mental note to pick up a change of clothes from the mall. “I’ll be back soon so you don’t need to worry.”
How could he be so calm? He was acting as if everything was normal, as if chaining someone to the bed while you went shopping was normal. Well maybe in Spike’s screwed up little world it was normal, but Buffy wasn’t going to take it. She’d been in chains enough recently and she wasn’t going to let it happen again.
Buffy glared at him with outrage electrifying her entire essence. “I swear to you, I am going to cut you into little pieces and scatter you all over this city if you don’t undo these fucking cuffs right now you asshole!”
“See you’ve picked up a potty mouth. Must have spent a bit too much time around Faith.” He chuckled at his comment. “I’ll bring you back some chocolate to help with the PMS.”
Buffy glared at him with fiery eyes. She was scowling at him as if she wanted to cut off his testicles and wear them as earrings. He winced at the image.
“Spike! I’m so not kidding. You don’t own me so you can’t do this to me.”
Realizing that the girl was more stubborn and less broken that he’d given her credit for he relented slightly in his authoritarianism. “Just let me explain, love,” he commanded her, hoping she would see reason.
“Can you explain with a broken jaw? Because if I have to spend the whole day chained to a bed, that’s pretty much what’s gonna happen.”
“It’s just gonna be a few bloody hours. You don’t need to exaggerate.”
Okay now she looked madder, so that might not have been the best thing to say. “What the hell are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that I don’t want you to run off somewhere and get yourself killed.”
“I won’t run off.” She tugged at the cuff again, wishing she had super strength to snap the metal.
“Listen here, Summers. I know your kind of chit and you’re impulsive. Half way through the bloody day you might have second thoughts about this whole thing and decided to run to the bloody Bobbies…uh…police.” A strange look passed over her face but he couldn’t decipher it. “I’m keeping you under lock and key to protect both of us. If you went to any bloody cop in this city you’d be taking a chance he’s on my Da’s payroll. So you can curse and swear and spit at me all you soddin’ well want, but I won’t apologize for caring about you, okay. Bloody ungrateful chit!”
Spike cared about her? The thought almost stunned her silent but instead of dwelling on it, she mentally filed it away for later perusal.
Was it possible that he was just as scared of being left alone as she was though? Did he fear that horrible abyss that came with having no one to turn to too? It was true that he didn’t really have anyone else as far as she knew. The thought that Spike might share her trepidation softened her toward him.
“Are you done?” Buffy asked with a hint of amusement creeping onto her face. “If you want to make sure I don’t run away then why don’t you just take me with you.”
Spike frowned a little. It wasn’t that he hadn’t considered that, but he was spending too much time around Buffy already. And it was making his blood rush south and too many lusty thoughts were filling his mind. It was addling his brain and as he was pretty sure she wasn’t going to spread her legs for him anytime soon, he’d wanted to get away from her for a while and clear his head.
Clear both of his heads, in fact.
“Not sure taking you with me’s a good idea, pet.”
“Okay, I’ll put it another way,” she smirked, seemingly uncaring of the fact that she was vulnerable locked in the cuffs right now. “You let me come with you or I’ll kick your lily white ass into next week when you finally unlock me. I swear to God!” Buffy kept her tone light and jovial, a smile plastered on her face as she talked.
Of course, the blond could still see her anger bubbling under the surface. Maybe tying her up wasn’t the best thing to do after everything she’d been through.
With a sigh of frustration, Spike turned and hovered over the girl. He could see how mad she was at him right now. She looked like she really would tear out his entrails and feed them to him with lima beans. But that wasn’t what changed his mind. What did change his mind was the determination in her eyes as she looked at him. It was as if to say that she would find a way out if he didn’t let her out. Not just a way out of the chains, but a way out of his life.
In truth he was scared of Buffy running away from him. If he kept her locked up then obviously she couldn’t go anywhere but otherwise she could leave. He couldn’t keep her chained up forever and no doubt if he kept treating her this way, she would leave.
And then he’d be all alone.
Again.
For the first time he looked at Buffy through new eyes. She wasn’t just an object that he could keep in his pocket and use whenever he wanted to use her. She was a strong young woman with determination deeper than any he’d ever witnessed. In spite of everything she’d been through, the girl kept her spark, and she kept it in spades.
Sighing he reached into his pocket and pulled out his keychain to unlock the cuffs.
So he would take her with him to the mall. That didn’t necessarily sound like the best idea in the world but surely it couldn’t be so bad taking a teenage girl shopping at a mall.
Could it?