Spike’s hands tightened around the wheel as Buffy whined out the same question for the tenth time in as many minutes. They’d only been on the road for four hours but she was getting restless sitting inside of the stuffy car, constantly fidgeting and playing with his stereo. If he had to listen to one more pop song he might lose him mind and throw the damn thing out of the window. He was considering throwing Buffy along with it.
“I’m bored,” she groaned.
“Just be glad you’re still alive to be bored.” His hands grasped the wheel even tighter.
“I’m glad. I’m the gladdest. Can’t I be glad and bored?”
Spike rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the road. “Well we’ll be there soon. It’s less than an hour from here.”
“Will your friend be happy to see us?”
Spike frowned a little at the way she sneered over the word ‘friend’. Was that a hint of jealousy he could detect in her voice?
“Tara’ll be over the moon. She’s a good woman, Summers. Not like some of people you’ve had to contend with recently. Tara’s a right proper lass and she’ll see us right.”
Buffy suppressed her jealousy-tinted eye roll as she imagined some Faith-like figure, all bust and attitude. The teen suspected that her idea of proper and Spike’s idea of the same concept vastly differed. Willing herself not to get irritated, she cleared her throat. “Okay. What are we gonna do when we get there?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, are we gonna put on animal skins and go fish and hunt for our food? I get that we’re hiding out but don’t we need money and stuff?”
Spike briefly noticed the fact that she constantly referred to them as a we now but he didn’t comment on it. It imbued his heart with a curious warmth. “Don’t worry about money,” he instructed her. “I’ve got that sorted.”
“Sorted? Oh my God, is it blood money?” She looked appropriately stunned and disgusted in equal measure. “It is, isn’t it?”
“It’s what we need so you don’t starve to death. You’re already a skinny little slip of a thing so it wouldn’t take long.”
“Hey! I’m not skinny. I’m petite.”
“Those hipbones tell me differently, love. And it doesn’t change reality. Think of the money as ‘liberated for a good cause.’”
“You mean in the same way I think of you as ‘an asshole’?” she said sweetly.
“Starting a fight won’t change where the money came from, you know? And it won’t alleviate your boredom either.”
Buffy sighed, realizing she’d have to trust him on that. “Fine,” she muttered. Unusually she wasn’t in the mood to really fight anyway. Almost getting killed could do that to a girl. She rolled her neck and shoulders, popping the cricks out and moaning at the feeling.
“Alright there, love?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, just a little stiff. And I’m still a little achy from that fight with that stupid bitch at the mall.”
“Yeah, you were lucky you were able to hold your own with her. Nasty little bird like that could easily have done some damage to you.”
“Uh did you miss the part where I kicked her skanky ass?”
“That you did, pet.” He chuckled. “Although, you were a little lucky. The girl was a sloppy fighter with no training.”
“That wasn’t luck. It was skill.” An offended huff escaped her lips.
“Skillfully lucky, more like. You actually have some potential for learning to fight properly, you know.”
Buffy perked up at his comment, turning excitedly to him. “Really?” She remembered the buzz that she’d gotten from the brawl and instantly wanted to reprieve that high.
“Yeah. If you want I can give you a few lessons when we get to Tara’s. Up to you of course but…”
“I’ll do them.” Buffy grinned, feeling rejuvenated all of sudden. “I can totally see myself as a kick-ass ninja.”
Spike chuckled again, a sly grin imprinted on his lips. “Mmm, in a nice tight catsuit that leaves nothing to the imagination?”
“Ugh, you’re such a pig.” Buffy wrinkled her nose but there was no heat behind her words.
“You know it, baby.”
“Shut up, Spike,” she retorted, but there was only affection in her tone.
A shiver coursed up Spike’s spine at her playfulness. The way she’d been looking at him made him think that the young girl felt something deeper than the indifferent contempt he’d expected her to hold for him. It scared him that she might return his growing feelings because she was so very wrong for him and he knew he would bring her nothing but misery.
After all, if he’d never even been good enough for Drusilla, what could he give to an innocent like Buffy?
And yet he was a selfish man. If she gave him the chance to be with her, he’d take it. Even if it brought her ruin.
Unknown to the blond, his young companion was lost in similar thoughts. Since Spike rescued her from Gwen’s brothel, she’d been caught up in a whirlwind over ever changing feelings for him. At first she’d thought it was merely gratitude, but now she was starting to realize that the river of her emotions ran a lot deeper when it came to the obtuse blond.
The moment that she’d seen him talking to the purple haired bitch at the mall, Buffy had electrified with jealousy. Every cell in her body had clenched with anger at the thought of him flirting with another woman. He’d quickly become hers and the thought of someone else taking him away physically pained her.
However, she’d been able to mentally play the jealousy off as a platonic kind of possessiveness. It wasn’t difficult to justify it to herself because if there was one skill that she could win an Olympic medal at, it would be denial.
But then he’d gone and gotten himself shot.
And right then she’d known.
A moment of clarity had burst right through her consciousness and flashed neon lights right in her eyes. She cared for him, and not just in a sisterly way. She was attracted to him, she worried about him and she wanted him.
Oh God, it hurt to admit it. But it was true. She wanted Spike Rayne in the sweaty, kinky sex kind of way. Spike! He of the evil psychopathic dynasty of gangsters. He who’d almost raped her on their first meeting.
And yet that wasn’t the man she’d gotten to know so well since their forced joint exile from the world.
The man who was whisking her away to keep her safe was…well he was an enigma. But he was an enigma that she still longed to discover. In some ways the man was so open, and yet in others he was a totally closed book. She knew very little of his past and when she’d tried to find out about it, he’d freaked out at her. She could only hope that one day, somehow, he would open up to her.
But she didn’t need to know anything else to know that he was a good man in his heart. She’d seen it for herself and at some point she’d come to believe in him.
Feeling a migraine coming on as the thoughts raced around her mind, Buffy closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the car came to a stop in front of a crumbling house.
“Well here we are, Summers. Home sweet home.”
Buffy tried not to wrinkle her nose in distaste but failed miserably. The old house looked like a rundown shack. It could have used a coat of paint of two sometime in the past century. Buffy shuddered to think what it would be like inside but she didn’t want to seem ungrateful so she gave Spike a halfhearted smile as the clambered out of the Desoto together.
“William?” came a shout, as a buxom blonde woman strode out of her front door toward them.
“Alright, Glinda?” smiled Spike, his grin growing as the blonde smiled equally beamingly. Grabbing Buffy’s wrist he pulled the slightly reticent teen along the dusty path to where the bemused older blonde lady was waiting for them.
Buffy eyed the slightly plump woman in front of her. She was older for sure, perhaps in late forties or early fifties, but a childlike mirth sparkled behind her cobalt eyes. She wiped her flour covered hands on the front of her dress and greeted the two blonds.
“William!” she cried joyfully, pulling Spike into a bear hug. He returned the hug with equal voracity.
“William?” Buffy mouthed silently, confusion painted on her face.
Spike’s real name was William?
“Hello, Glinda,” he murmured into her apple scented hair. “I’ve missed you.”
The older blonde pulled back and nodded. She cupped his cheek lovingly. “I’ve missed you too, honey. It’s been too long. What are you doing here?”
“Needed a little getaway for a while, pet,” he told her. “You don’t mind do you?”
“Of course not!” she exclaimed, horrified that he would ever think she’d mind him coming to visit her.
Noticing Buffy’s awkward posture she turned to her. “I’m Tara,” the blonde told Buffy kindly, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she smiled. She wasn’t the kind of woman that Buffy would ever have associated with Spike. Or anyone in the Rayne Dynasty. There was a kindness in her countenance that soothed the young blonde teenager.
“I’m Buffy,” the teen replied quietly, nibbling on her thumbnail.
“And it’s very nice to meet you, Buffy. Any friend of William’s is a friend of mine.”
“Oh he’s not my friend! We don’t even really like each other.” Buffy blurted out automatically without thinking, a pang of guilt hitting her when Tara’s face fell.
Before Buffy could babble out an explanation, Tara retrieved her smile and ushered Buffy and Spike inside anyway. “Well I’m sure the two of you will get to be friends very soon.”
“Wouldn’t count on it, Glinda.” Spike gave her a frustrated look but she merely laughed.
“We’ll see. Now come in and take a seat, both of you. You get yourselves comfortable and I’ll make you some sweet tea.”
Tara led the two blonds into her house. Strangely the inside wasn’t badly decorated compared to the dilapidated outside. At least it looked clean and tidy.
Bustling away, Tara left her two guests to seat themselves on the shabby couch, keeping ample distance between them. Buffy placed her hands primly on her thighs, suddenly overly self conscious.
Being around someone else, it was like all her comfortableness around Spike had melted away. Vulnerability shrieked to make itself known as her senses picked up on an intruder to the little bubble that had formed around her and Spike. It didn’t help that Spike seemed so at ease around the older woman.
Because of his affection for Tara, the green eyed monster roared in her ears.
Clearing her throat, Buffy stuffed her hands between her knees. She tried to avoid looking at Spike who was sprawled carelessly over the threadbare sofa. There was an air of relaxedness wafting off him right now and it was a little disconcerting. The blonde was so used to the jitteriness of her new companion, that it puzzled her to see him so at ease.
“So, how do you know…um…Tara?” she finally asked, hating the silence that had settled on them.
“Old Glinda was our cook donkey’s years ago,” he replied, sitting forward. Blue eyes probed her face but she kept her eyes downcast.
“She worked for the Raynes?” Buffy hadn’t expected that. The older blonde lady seemed so…innocent.
Spike nodded. “Yeah, pet. She was with us for a good few years. After my mum…uh…after she was gone Glinda came in to take care of us. She wasn’t my nanny but she looked after me sometimes. She even protected me from my Da when he was in one of his rages. Took a good few beatings from him, she did.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “She looks so sweet and fragile.” The idea of Ethan beating the genial woman to a bloody pulp was horrifying.
“Twenty years ago she looked a little tougher, pet. I’d wager she’s still tough as old boots though. Time can change a body but I wouldn’t bet against her still having a fighting spirit. Appearances can be bloody deceiving you know.”
The blonde was starting to learn that was very much the case. Nothing was as it seemed from the outside. Never before had Buffy been so confused about everything.
In her old world things were black and white, good and bad. But now it was all about the shades of gray and the teenager wasn’t sure that her brain worked that way.
She knew it would take time to process all of the changes but it physically pained her to think about them.
Tara’s return interrupted her disturbing thoughts and she managed to busy herself drinking their newest ally’s sweet tea and feasting on her cookies. Spike also eagerly stuffed Tara’s home baked cookies into his mouth as a companionable silence settled over the room.
“So,” Tara said eventually, deciding it was time to cut to the heart of the issue. “Would you like to tell me why you’re here? Not that I’m not happy to see you, Will, but somehow I don’t think this is a recreational visit.”
“Got that bloody right,” Spike agreed with a hefty sigh, cleaning the cookie crumbs off his hands. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“Maybe from the beginning?” smiled Tara.
“Good plan, pet. Well you know what my Da’s always been like with the birds. The bastard never had a good opinion of women and through circumstances that weren’t her own fault Buffy ended up in his wily clutches.”
“Okay,” Tara said urging him to continue. She could see the pain on Buffy’s face as he recounted the story and wondered just how the blonde came to end up in Ethan’s hands.
“Well, she and I…met not longer after she arrived at the mansion. Can’t say our first meeting was in the best of situations, being that I acted like a stupid bloody git, but I saw something…unique in her.”
Buffy’s head whipped up at that comment but he was so embroiled in his recounting of the story that he didn’t even notice the widening of her eyes.
“Anyway,” he continued. “My Da decided that she’d be best off at Gwen’s getting trained up to be one of her slut-brigade. Some…things…happened and I realized that my dad is a soddin’ no-good wanker.”
“You only just realized that, Will?” asked Tara.
“I suppose I should say I only just recognized it. It took a lot to make me truly see him for what he is. He’s my Da, pet so I always excused what he did, you know that. Not like I was a candidate for martyrdom myself. But now I know for sure that the poofter is an arse beyond all compare.”
“What did he do this time?” Tara took a sip of her sweet tea.
“Nothing I particularly want to talk about,” Spike responded gruffly, his tone firmly implying that this particular topic wasn’t up for discussion.
At Spike’s growly reaction Buffy frowned, a memory washing over her. Ethan’s words to Spike in his office flitted through Buffy’s head: “Dru tells me everything. She told me you saw me shagging her nutty little brains out.”
They hadn’t exactly addressed that little tidbit in the wake of everything that happened since and even if she’d raised the subject, she had no doubt Spike would have shut her down on the issue. Until now she’d completely forgotten about it but the truth of the fact finally registered with Buffy.
He’d caught his girlfriend in bed with his father! No wonder he’d wanted to bring him down. Out of the corner of her eye she glanced at the frowning blond, feeling even more sympathy than ever for him. She’d quickly become accustomed to just how deeply Spike seemed to feel things. Every emotion cut to the bone, be it happy or sad.
The teenager couldn’t imagine how profoundly it would have affected him to have his whole life torn to pieces so viciously. Okay, that wasn’t really true, because she knew exactly how that felt. She’d been ripped from her own world in the blink of an eye and shoved into one that was cold and hostile. More and more, she was starting to discover things in common with Spike.
So deeply lost in her thoughts, it took her several moments to realize that he’d resumed talking.
“Once I made the decision to take him down, I knew I needed…assistance so I went to rescue Buffy from Gwen’s. I figured the enemy of my enemy and all that rot. Got her out of there and Bob’s your uncle, had me a new Girl Friday.”
“And now your dad’s looking for you? So you decided to hide out here?” she asked softly.
“Uh, well see there was something in between me rescuing Buffy and us ending up here.”
“And that would be?” Tara probed.
“That would be the part where I went all First Blood on Ethan’s ass after he tried to strangle his son,” Buffy cut in emotionlessly. “It would be the portion of the story where I became a coldblooded killer.” Her words were strained and bitter as they bubbled from her lips. No matter how much she tried to repress it, the idea of taking away Ethan’s life was still a painful topic.
“Bollocks! You’re about as coldblooded as bloody Mother Theresa,” Spike said hotly, surprising both himself and Buffy with his vehemence.
“You killed Ethan?” asked Tara in shock. There was no judgment in her eyes, though. In fact Buffy thought she detected impressed awe.
“I didn’t mean to. I just saw him trying to kill Spike and I got a little scared.” The surprise in Spike’s eyes floored her and she looked away embarrassed as how her confession might have sounded. “I mean…I didn’t want to be left alone in that place with a homicidal psychopath and my only ally laying dead.”
“Course you didn’t, love,” Spike agreed, feeling a little hurt that she’d seemingly gone back on her acknowledgment about caring about him.
“Spike…I…”
“Leave it, Summers. I understand.”
Tara coughed uncomfortably. “So if Ethan’s dead, why are you here?”
Turning back to Tara he shrugged. “Ethan’s boys are after us for revenge now and we needed to find somewhere safe away from Los Angeles to stay. Already had one of the buggers attack us at a bloody motel.”
Tara nodded, trying to fully absorb the story. “Well you can stay here as long as you need to. Sometimes it gets a little lonely around here anyway, so it would be nice to have some company for a while.”
“You’re a star, Glinda,” he smiled with a wink.
“Why does he call you ‘Glinda’?” asked Buffy, nibbling on the edge of an oatmeal cookie.
Tara grinned nostalgically. “When William was a little boy he was convinced I was a good witch, like from the Wizard of Oz. He thought I’d come to save him from the baddies. He started calling me Glinda back then and it stuck. I’m surprised he’s not found a nickname for you yet.”
“Oi, give me time. I’m sure I’ll find something for her.” He chuckled to himself. “Other than ‘annoying bint’.”
“Hey!” Buffy exclaimed, tossing a half eaten cookie at the blond.” I’m so not annoying. And I’m totally not a…binge.”
“The word’s ‘bint’, Kitten.”
“Really? ‘Cause I thought the word was ‘English’ as in ‘speak it’.”
“Says Ms. Let’s Butcher the Language.”
“As if I do that! At least what I say makes sense.”
“I’m sure it makes sense to you. Just doesn’t make any bloody sense to anyone else.”
“Bloody hell!” mocked Buffy in her version of an English accent. “Is that bloody true? Pip pip cheerio!”
“You realize you’re not making a lick of sense?”
“You realize I’m imitating you? Not making sense totally fits in with the character.”
“You are one step away, Missy,” warned Spike playfully.
“Oh! Are you gonna scold me?” she asked melodramatically clutching a hand to her chest.
Spike paused and blinked as he realized that they were…flirting. Glancing at Buffy only proved that theory. Her pupils were dilated and her face was red and flushed. He could lean in right now and press his lips to hers. Somehow they’d gotten so close to each other and it would be so easy just to kiss her.
Buffy stared at Spike with longing. His eyes flickered from her own green orbs to her pouty red lips. He was staring at her as if he wanted to devour her. That wasn’t such a bad thought, as thoughts go. It would be so easy right now just to part her lips a little and invite him in.
So easy…
The sound of Tara clearing her throat brought them back to reality with a resounding crash and they both fled to opposite ends of the couch. A knowing smile played on Tara’s lips as she watched them behaving like two naughty schoolchildren who’d been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. The chemistry between them was electrifying and there was no way anyone could miss it.
Even though she didn’t know Buffy very well, from what she’d seen of the teenager Tara was starting to believe she could be good for the man she’d always seen as her surrogate son. Perhaps a little matchmaking on her end could be in order.
The rest of the afternoon seemed to pass quickly with polite conversation and stories of the past. The older woman turned out to be the opposite of what Buffy had expected, of course. While she looked fragile and sweet, she was actually feisty with a sharp wit and even sharper tongue. Yet she was also kind too in a maternal way.
Buffy decided that she really liked this woman.
However, as well as getting to know Spike, Buffy was also becoming preoccupied with finding out more about Spike. As brash and forthright as he could be, she still couldn’t seem to truly fathom him.
Sometimes she got little glimpses into the real Spike but mostly it was like having a puzzle almost completed only you couldn’t find some of the pieces. Tara didn’t seem eager to give any of his secrets away either and Buffy was reluctant to ask her. After all, she vividly recalled his reaction after she’d inquired about his mother.
“I’m making my famous chicken soup for dinner,” Tara said finally, standing to clear away the tea and cookies. “So go get washed up.”
“Yes, Mum,” laughed Spike. There was a warm mirth infusing his eyes that Buffy hadn’t seen in the whole time she had known him. It was as if being around Tara had helped the darkness to drain from his soul.
“You’re not too old for me to take over my knee, you know William,” Tara retorted playfully, pulling him into a motherly hug. Buffy noticed the way he melted into the older woman’s embrace, a giddy, childlike smile plastered on his lips.
Buffy wondered why his happiness warmed her own icy heart. Unfortunately there was a small niggle that she wasn’t the cause of his happiness, but as long as he was happy then she was content. And then it all came together: her attraction to him, her longing to know more about him, her feeling of safety when he was with her, her desire to make him happy.
At that moment she realized the truth.
She was falling in love with him.
God, how the hell was she going to be around him now?