Author's Chapter Notes:
Here we are at the end of this smutty .. fluffy little ficlet. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you to all who have reviewed. Your words have been inspirational!
Buffy

I want the fire back...

What the hell just happened, Buffy thought to herself as she stomped away.

One minute they were singing, the next fucking and now?

He was angry.

I don’t get it!

Doesn’t he realize he is the only one who makes me feel? Feel anything at all.

Lust.

Love.

Life.

I’m an ass for not giving him a chance back then, before Glory. I should have been his as soon as I found out what Riley was doing.


Riley ... now that was a name that brought up all kinds of regret.

I left Riley because he lied to me, not because he was finding company with a vampire.

Hello kettle, I’m the pot.

“Stupid ... stupid!” I say out loud stomping my feet.

“You’re right I am.”

The sound of his accent made me stop in my tracks. My heart started to pound and my stomach swarmed with butterflies.

“I’m sorry slayer ... Buffy,” Spike said.

His voice was full of desperation. I turn slowly around towards him.

He was merely standing there, his head cocked, his hands out to his sides and a look of absolute anguish on his features. It took absolutely all that I had to not run to him and throw myself into his arms.

“I’m a bad rude man. I know that. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you. You are the sunshine. I’m all darkness and no soul and yet I love you. I love you so much it hurts me.”

I can only nod and he is speaking again.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to save you. That I would change that night a thousand different ways. What we just did ... I have wanted that for a long time.”

“Me too,” I whisper knowing he can hear me.

“I’m terrified ... bleeding terrified of this. Us. You.”

“And you think I’m not? I was ripped out of heaven. Out of my final rest. I was thrust back here in this hell by my friends. This is hard and not fun. It’s work and it’s pain. And the only time I feel anything, anything at all is when I’m with you,” I practically yell at him.

“You want to change the night I died? I want to change the last year of my life! I want there to be no Riley and I want to not have fought the burning feelings I had...have for you! I want us both to stop being stupid and just be...”

“Buffy ...”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. Screw my friends. Its time for me. Not the slayer. It’s time to be Buffy. Nothing else matters. I just want you. Always you,” I finish my eyes overflowing with tears.

*~*

Spike

If my heart could beat...

Seriously am I dead?

“Always you.” She says it again and I swear to any God who will listen to me that my heart beat.

I stare at her, desperately wanting to go to her but waiting. Wanting to see what she does.

She is furiously wiping at the tears that run down her face but her eyes... the emerald green of her eyes are fixed on mine.

“I love you Spike. I fucking love you!”

I can’t hold back anymore. Any coherent thought I had in my head is gone. I start to run towards her as she runs to me and in a blur she is in my arms, her legs wrapped around me. I’m kissing her as she is kissing me, tears running down both of our faces.

“God I love you Buffy...” I murmur in between kisses.

Her arms are tightly wrapped around me and it feels like heaven.

It feels like home.

*~*

Buffy

These endless days are finally ending in a blaze...

This is where I belong. Where I’ve always belonged. He isn’t evil darkness. He is the shadow to my sun. He is the perfect balance to me. Everything that I’m not, he is. And vice versa.

Why I denied us both this I will never know. But I will not allow it to happen anymore. I’m his and he is mine. And nothing will ever change that.

In that perfect moment, him holding me lovingly against his body, the murmurs of “love yous,” I realize that I may have been ripped out of something special.

But I was placed into something that is much more.

Smiling against his mouth I tell him how I feel again and again. Wiping his tears away as he wipes away mine.

In that moment I let go.

I let go of my anger and my despair. Of my hurt and my loneliness.

I let everything go and just become ... his.

It doesn’t matter what happens after this. Or what happens tomorrow. The only thing that matters is us ... right here and right now. Me wrapped in the safety of Spike’s love and his arms.

Just where I’m supposed to be.


Now that was a show stopping number...


Chapter End Notes:
I hope you liked it! =) Thanks for reading!



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