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Dishes were clinking, that was the offending racket behind every thought in her head. A glass of wine was filled, laughter echoed, the dim lighting shrouded rather than beheld the faces of people Buffy barely knew.

Thanksgiving dinner was coming to a close- At least, that's what the encouraging part of her brain told her.

It had all gone smoothly enough, but "smooth" didn't exactly say much for comfort. Rather, it fell under the "Let's see how many times I can quickly shove food into my mouth to avoid answering questions" category.

Meg Stovall was a gracious host with an almost southern belle air to the way she did things, from showing people to the table, to cleaning it. The house was large but homey. Friends chatted and hugged like they hadn't seen each other in years, when really it had likely been no more than a week for anybody. Grams was in her social element.

Buffy put up a personal fight with her loner instincts in order to be more than just courteous, and she only did the can't-talk-with-a-full-mouth thing four or five times this entire evening. People asked her enough questions, and sometimes when things got too personal, Anne managed to deflect. If Buffy weren't so distracted she would have acknowledged the help more; Grams was like a managing, social butterfly.

She needed looking after, too. The company was a genuinely nice group of people, and the children weren't too loud, and the food was all good, but Buffy's mind was elsewhere.

Spike had asked her to be his mate.

Now logically, she was wary. Realistically, she had already made a decision. Emotionally, she wanted it more than she wanted to breathe.

She reached out and gripped the thin stem of a wineglass. Her head hurt.

She swallowed a heavy sip of port and set the goblet back down in its place, heaving a sigh into the air of chatter. The first thing she was doing after this meal was going over to Spike's.

She had invited him to dinner, sure; in her heart she always wanted him near. She hadn't really been begging when she'd asked, though. She didn't want him to meet Grams at a get together where Buffy didn't know anybody well enough to call them by a nickname. It was hard enough trying to open up to these people Grams called friends, she didn't want to worry about Spike, too.

Besides, he didn't celebrate the holiday anyway. He'd told her so. The other guys didn't either, so they weren't like, left out or anything. It wasn't a big deal. None of them cared, Spike in particular seemed to be completely fine with it- Okay, she was a chicken.

Buffy sighed as she took a halfhearted bite of the cold mashed potatoes on her plate. After he... proposed- She still wasn't sure you could call it that, but not the point -she'd had to fight herself in order to prevent from splitting in two.

One side of her was screaming that she needed to research and seriously think before she committed to something so foreign, and not all that common even in the supernatural world. The other side of Buffy had her virtually running into Spike's arms with neck and body bared, questions be damned.

It frightened her how much she wanted to be linked to him, felt like it had been something she'd been meaning to do for so long and had only now figured out what that thing was. She loved Spike, and the threat of forever did not scare her as badly as it probably should, not if she was with him. It hardly felt like a threat when she cared for the man this much.

She'd told him she needed time, and Spike had accepted that, but truthfully all Buffy needed to figure out was whether it was a smart decision to do this NOW.

She'd gone to the library and checked out that one vampire book with the realistic drawings inside it, and she'd found a short chapter on mating; it told her the same things Spike had. She'd then asked for Stevo's knowledge on the subject, and pleaded for Dylan to research. It didn't bother Buffy if they knew, and the group all seemed to approve of the idea, especially if it gave her superior strength right away.

Ever since the river incident, the guys had been extra protective and aware of her. Buffy had to force herself not to get annoyed with them at every turn. They were only worried, and for reasons she couldn't exactly begrudge.

This mating thing was Buffy's main worry at the moment, though. She'd explained to Spike that sooner or later, he'd get his yes, she just wanted to know more about the claim. Needless to say, her vampire was spending nearly as much time on the computer now as Dylan.

Buffy sighed. She really wanted this to work, she just wasn't sure if NOW was a smart move or not.

"Buffy, are you ready to leave?"

She snapped back to the present, facing her grandmother in a startled reaction. "I- What?"

Anne smiled. "I asked if you were ready to leave yet."

"Oh." *Nice, Buffy, now look past her as if you don't see her, that'll make your grandma really think you don't like her.* "A-Are you sure you're ready to go?" she asked, "There's still dessert..." Buffy looked around, noticing for the first time the half eaten pumpkin pie and mini-cakes left on the near empty table.

She met Grams' warm eyes again, and with total lack of poise, asked, "Isn't there?"

Anne looked at her in sympathy. "Sugar, you alright?" She tapped a finger against her own temple. "I can smell the wood burning. You're thinkin 'bout something and it is drivin you batty, whatever it is."

Buffy blinked. *Leave it to Grams...* "It's nothing. Really. I'm just tired." That was true enough, she'd had plenty of trouble sleeping last night, even with the amber charm around her wrist.

The old woman gave her a sideways look with eyes too wise for Buffy's comfort. "This wouldn't have anything ta do with that secret boyfriend f'yours, now would it?"

She almost choked on air. "W-What- Grams- There isn't- I-I-"

"Don't bother tryin to hide it, dear, I've known awhile." She nodded sagely. "And I also know who he is."

Buffy was past the ability to form an actual sentence now. She just said, "Huh?"

"It took me a damn long while, I'll tell ya. I've only seen the young man 'bout a hundred times since he's lived here, but I never cared about knowin his business like some of the people 'round this town." She rose a thin eyebrow, and there seemed a new ability had sparkled in her, a hidden spy living behind old eyes. "Gotta be grateful for the snoops, though, when your granddaughter's datin a strange man. The only one in town who don't socialize with the rest of us, no less."

Buffy chewed on her lip, only letting go to reply, "Gr-Grams, I- I was going to tell you. I just wasn't ready for that yet, and I didn't know how serious things were going to get."

"Well, are they serious now?"

Buffy swallowed. She took in the understanding expression she received, and looked down at her plate. It had been cleared and a new one of smaller size sat ready in its place, beholding a tiny powdered sugared cake with a maraschino cherry on top. "Very," Buffy replied.

"And that's what's been on your mind, huh?"

She nodded, grabbing the cherry and plopping it into her mouth.

Grams reached out and took her hand, causing Buffy to look up. She was met with acceptance beyond reason imbedded in loving, familial eyes, and the worries seemed to pause. "You know how I knew you were seein somebody?" she started, then continued before Buffy could even answer. "Your face. You've lit up since you've been goin to that library, and then one night when I thought you'd be there, I couldn't find ya. I asked Margie behind the counter if she'd seen you, said you'd left with that stranger man everyone in town knows nothin about. The one with the 'funny hair,' she said, and then I was positive. And you've never texted me before in your life."

Buffy laughed with her Grams at that last part, and realized belatedly that there were tears in her eyes. She shook her head and wiped them, feeling silly and looking up when Anne tightened the hold on her hand.

"You're a smart girl, an that's why I didn't bug you about this. I knew there was somethin goin on, and I knew with who. Once I got his name and address, I didn't mind much not knowin the details of things. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready." The woman suddenly got this twinkle in her eyes, and it looked suspiciously like faith and support and approval all rolled into one. Anne said, "And if he is the reason for that smile that's been on your face as of late, then I don't really think 'serious' is such a bad thing, 'Lizabeth."

***

"You're a fucking moron if you think that."

Dylan turned on Rex, aggravation in his eyes changing them to a molten brown as he yelled, "It's a perfectly reasonable explanation! And we've been throwing around more farfetched ideas all day but THIS one you decide to denounce without hesitation?"

Rex narrowed his eyes. "I don't think-"

"Oh well there's a surprise," Dylan muttered.

Stevo stepped in, bringing the fighting to a halt as he put a hand out. "Okay, that's enough. Tone it down."

"When he decides to stop being so difficult I will."

"He's making up crack-head ideas!" Rex shouted.

"Enough!" the man yelled, effectively silencing the room. He sighed, wondering if Buffy might be by tonight. Perhaps she could calm everyone down, certainly Spike.

As soon as she was nearby the vampire might actually take a breath (figuratively speaking). He'd been pacing a hole in the floor for a couple of hours not long ago; it was his new routine every time they weren't together. That, and the incessant foot-tapping while he researched claims on the computer.

Stevo rubbed his eyes. Thinking again on Dylan's newest theory, regarding why the attack at the bar had been so violent the other night. It seemed incredibly simple and almost dull compared to the drama going on lately. The fact the vampires might have been paid by Flora to help get Spike's ashes in a jar wasn't nonsensical; it actually made the most sense in the world. Stevo didn't know why they hadn't thought of it before.

Perhaps the amount of vamps were so many that no one believed somebody would want Spike dead that badly, and if they did, then why weren't the vampires all out searching for him instead of getting wasted at a little hole in the wall joint with awful music? Were they just lazy? Being paid by the hour? It was a questionable lead, but still the most logical one they'd come up with so far.

And that did not explain why Rex was so against it. Stevo's earlier theory- though now on the backburner -definitely played second to Dylan's. This mystery witch being involved with Flora was a possibility, but unlikely because witches did not like pairing up with vampires for business. A few reasons being they were untrustworthy, often indolent unless threatened, and selfish.

"Rex," Stevo asked abruptly, "why do you dislike this idea so much?" The thunderbird swung his head around and yellow eyes caught Stevo's in a stronghold. The gypsy rose an eyebrow. "It bothers you- No. Frightens you."

Rex's wide jaw made an audible sound before he replied. "Yeah. It fuckin does." The room went silent. "Because now Buffy's caught up in the middle of this, which means Spike is in more danger 'cause he's off his game if SHE'S in danger- And don't think I'm not worried about the little human. Add in this Flora cunt creating her own personal army of the undead just to kill Spike, or kill someone he cares-... knows, like Buffy or any of us, and I don't fucking like it."

"It's what we've always done, Rex."

"I hate it when we can't see the threat!" he bellowed.

"I'll second that." Ace strolled in from the hallway looking spent and resigned, which was never good. "No luck on the Q&A down at Mason's, everyone there was tightlipped or too plastered to spell their own name." He plopped down on a stool by the island as Blake came in next, tense and looking irritated with life itself.

"Those demons were not only more disgusting than usual, but not a one claimed to know of a vampire in the area with the name Flora- Honestly. We broke more than enough noses. The bitch might be using a fake name."

The room joined in a collective groan, and Stevo went for the coffee pot to pour himself some energy. "What was the place like, the website said it was... 'quaint.'"

"It was a cesspool," Ace replied, "there were week-old Codger remains mopped into a corner."

"How could you even recognize them if they were that old?" Dylan asked.

"The stench was enough, believe me." Ace tilted his head and crossed his arms, leaning back to frown at the ceiling. "Still wonder what an old fogey like that was doing in a bar."

"Maybe he had a fight with the missus," Dylan supplied.

"Well, then he's outta one kind of hell," Blake said.

Ace made a sound like a half-released chuckle, then sat up. "Speaking of hell. Spike still visiting?"

"Oh, you mean is he still pacing like a caged wildcat, taking shots and abusing Google? Yeah." Dylan answered.

"Last I saw him he was taking out some frustrations on the punching bag." Rex added.

Blake rolled his eyes, whining dependently, "When's Buffy getting back?"

"I'm not sure if she is coming by today, it's Thanksgiving, remember?" Stevo replied.

"Oh, that's why all the stores were closed."

"If she's here he'll calm down," Ace said matter-of-factly.

"I know, but I don't think he'd be very happy about her getting here on her own. The sun is going down."

"But does she ever listen?" Rex said.

Stevo gave him a sideways glance. "No, not usually."

***

Her throat had completely healed. Her heart was beating with a steady thump-thump. Her legs worked, muscles were not sore. She was wearing something unusual in its pleasantness and familiar to her old self. Heeled black boots crunching leaves of numerous shades as she walked, an off the shoulders shirt of burgundy, and a long black skirt that had a slit on one side up to the knee. Her legs brushed beneath the material, and the wind toyed with the hem.

Buffy moved briskly farther and farther from her house, a usually personal bag filled with wrapped up leftovers instead of books around her torso.

New courage ran in her blood. It was a nice, invigorating feeling, delivered once one made a decision that had been laying so heavily on the mind.

She'd known she would say yes to Spike's proposal, there had not been a doubt once he'd told her how he craved it. The main question was focused on time. When? Was it smart to rush into it now? Did she mind being in a nineteen year old body for the rest of eternity?

No, she did not.

But her answer was to postpone the mating.

Buffy took out her phone and dialed the house.

Decisions like this were supposed to be made when the time was right, when it happened, not when you decided to make it happen. No rushing. No forced urgency, but the real, unplanned kind. She wanted that.

She listened to the ring as she continued walking. The sun sprayed colors of pink, purple, and gold across the deepening midnight sky. She moved a little faster.

Spike, nor Buffy, liked the idea of her walking all by herself. Not anymore, while there were enemies about. But she wanted to get to Spike's place, and she was calling him so he knew.

Besides, she might not feel comfortable doing it, but no one was going to stop her from walking alone if she really wanted. And Buffy had a stake on her. She'd made it last night, when no books called and distance from her lover seemed smartest.

That was hard. Her fears had made it easier to be away from Spike for the past four nights, but her heart yearned like a mourning dove for its mate.

*Huh, funny you would think of that word, Buffy. Wishing on the proverbial star much?*

Thing was, she wasn't wishing for anything too far out of reach. She could be mated to the vampire she loved by the end of the night if she wanted, and that was a comforting thought.

"Hello?"

She released a relieved breath. "Dylan? It's Buffy."

There was a startled pause on the other end of the line before he said, "Buffy? What's up?"

"I'm walking over to Spike's right now, I just wanted someone to know." She heard Stevo ask a question in the background, which Dylan then repeated.

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah," she said, "It's why I'm calling. I just didn't feel like getting yelled at once I got over there." She heard some shuffling before Stevo's voice sounded in her ear. "Where are you, Ace will be there in a moment."

"Literally like three minutes away... He doesn't have to come, I'm fine. You guys can hear me talking and everything."

He wasn't convinced. "What direction are you from the house?"

"Um..." She stared at the setting sun. "East."

Ace arrived in a blur after thirty seconds had passed.

Buffy bit back a sigh, and spoke into the phone again. "He's here, I'll see you all in a minute."

She stuck her cell back inside her coat pocket and tilted her head at the man. His auburn hair looked a little windblown and laid nicely around his face. He had to have run, but did not seem out of breath and wasn't sweating. "Ya know, if I could get some of those superbeing perks, life would be a whole lot easier."

He fell in step beside her, any response to her comment falling away when Ace took in her appearance. She had on an almost elegant black skirt with a peek-a-boo slit, and heeled boots. She looked taller, even leaner if that was possible, and he had to wonder what was under the coat.

"You're dressed up aren't you?" he asked.

"Thanksgiving," she answered. "My Grams bought me the clothes." At first, Buffy had felt jeans and her white blouse would do just fine for dinner. After a look in the mirror, though, she finally had to admit that Grams did have very nice taste.

The boots were a little awkward to her feet when she'd put them on, the skirt a bit in the way, the shoulder-showing top difficult to pull off because she was always catching herself slouching. But the confidence after seeing herself dressed got Buffy to suck it up. She gladly reevaluated her choice to wear only comfy, lazy-day clothes and pulled some of the past, fashion-aware Buffy back to the surface. She was glad to be in heels again.

She had Ace's complete approval. "You look very nice. It's... It's different to see you wearin something besides jeans or sweats," he said.

Buffy looked at him, hiding a smile and raising an eyebrow. "Are you saying I look BAD in what I usually wear?"

"What- No! No. You look fine in your regular clothes. I-" He shook his head and swallowed when she stopped walking, crossing her arms over her chest. Shit. "I- I mean, you always look nice. This is just a different kind of nice."

She tried not to, but after a moment Buffy couldn't help it and cracked a smile, then started to laugh. Ace was confused, she saw, and that only made her chuckle louder. "I'm just messing with you. Relax."

She started walking again. It took the bewildered male as long to catch up in stride as it did in his brain. "Oh. Not funny."

"Yeah it was. And thank you for the complement." She smiled at him.

Ace rolled his eyes, but grinned back all the same, wondering if Spike knew how lucky a guy he actually was.

***

"We're back!"

"And I brought goodies!" Buffy smiled at Ace's startled expression as she was walking towards the kitchen. She hadn't told him about the food, but it only took a minute or two to say her hellos to the others before unveiling the number of leftovers she'd brought them from dinner.

So they didn't celebrate Thanksgiving, it didn't mean they couldn't eat.

"What'd you bring?"

Buffy popped open a container, a sweet smell following the sound. "Cranberry sauce, for starters."

She quickly laid everything out on the covered countertop, moving things and shuffling papers, setting aside coffee mugs, tossing trash away. She set out the Tupperware filled with hot turkey and ham slices, stuffing filled with bacon and celery, steaming green beans, peas and potatoes, and several gooey brownies.

"Dig in, guys."

They started helping themselves, all saying thank you and very readily grabbing forks and napkins- Well, SHE got the napkins. The guys just went for the forks and started eating out of the containers.

She shrugged. At least they were half civilized.

"How come you didn't tell me you had this stuff in your bag?" Ace asked, trying to poke at a piece of turkey and shove Rex out of his way at the same time.

"I didn't want you hounding me to get the first bite."

"Ha!" Blake laughed as he threw a full brownie into his mouth. "Shmlart wohman."

"What did you say?"

"He said I was smart, Stev. Though it was hard to make out since he's being such a pig."

"Yeah," Ace said, "You left me to fend for my food with THIS group. I might never eat."

Judging by the spoonful of cranberry sauce he'd just swallowed, Buffy was sure he would have no problem filling up.

Then again, these men did tend to consume a lot.

"Maybe you guys should get plates?" she suggested.

There was a collective and negative "mm mm" that made Buffy worry Spike would be the one to miss out. "Where's Sp-"

"He's in the basement," Dylan answered, just before shoving some more ham into his mouth.

"Last I checked he was still-" Rex paused to swallow a forkful of buttery mashed potatoes, "-workin on the punching bag. Blake, get the salt will ya?"

Buffy couldn't help a little smile as she watched Blake speed by, grabbing both salt, and chili powder, from an overhead cabinet. He moved back to the containers of quickly depleting food and passed Ace as the man went to get beers from the fridge. Then, there was a lanky kitty on the island, meowing and sniffing at the cold turkey slices. Buffy smiled in sympathy for the only other female in the house, and said, "Make sure to give her a little bit, guys."

Their heads all turned up. "She's a cat!" they shouted in unison.

Buffy planted her hands on her hips and gave them a look. "Yeah, and a couple scraps won't kill any of you. She's barely eight pounds."

"But she eats like a trucker," Rex groused.

As if Princess knew Buffy was fighting for her, she sat down right next to the turkey container and lifted her head in the haughty way only a cat could. Buffy rose an eyebrow when Blake moved a hand to protect the meat.

The empath rolled his eyes, but begrudgingly reached in to retrieve a piece of turkey for the feline. Princess started happily chowing down, and then the rest of the group slowly went back to devouring as much as they could. If Buffy wasn't mistaken, she swore they were eating faster than before the kitty had arrived to threaten their meal intake.

She shook her head, turning around to go find her boyfriend when she bumped, "Mmph," right into him, "Oh- Spike, hi." She smiled.

He looked down at her with warmth, then caught sight of the antics by the island counter and frowned. "What're you lot doing?"

"Buffy brought us leftovers," Dylan said happily, taking a sip of the big glass of milk he'd poured himself. "The stuffing's great, you should try it-" Rex hit him on the arm before the offer was finished.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I saved you something special."

"Did you?"

She dug into her near empty bag and pulled out one last container, this one filled with orange looking rice. "It's risotto, my Grams made it. It's SUPER spicy, so I figured you might like it."

Spike grinned down at her when she shrugged and handed him the food. "Thanks, petal." He gave her a kiss and then walked over to the forks.

The first taste almost made his eyes roll up in his head. "Christ, that's good."

"Is it?" Stevo asked with interest.

"Back off, mate, you've got plenty of shit to eat."

"I'm sharing it with these animals, I might starve."

"You finished ninety percent of the potatoes, don't bullshit, Stev."

"Ace, I make the coffee in the mornings. Do you want to start doing it instead?"

The immortal held up his hands in surrender and went back to buttering the green beans.

"You're still not gettin my risotto." Spike looked over at Buffy and nodded. "Your Grams is a damn fine cook, love."

She smiled, and then laughed when Stevo moved closer to the hot, steaming concoction in Spike's hands. "I love spicy food," he said.

"So do I."

"You're selfish."

"Yeah." Spike took another large bite and shook his head with a smile. "I don't drink much coffee."

The gypsy gave him a look, and Buffy said, "Begging is not becoming of you, Stev."

He rolled his eyes but backed off, going over to the stuffing Dylan was happily devouring and taking a bite; then about thirteen more.

Buffy grinned once again at the content faces everyone had on. Nobody seemed to care why the food was still steaming hot, excluding the brownies. She'd warmed everything up before coming here. The walk over wasn't long enough to cool anything down, either.

She felt a little bit like Martha Stewart. Or just a mom.

The chair Dylan usually sat in was calling to her, so she walked over and removed her bag and jacket from her shoulders. She was just about to sit when she noticed the abrupt tone down of silverware clanking.

Buffy looked up and quickly realized everyone was staring. She frowned, looking down at herself- Oh.

Right. She was dressed like a girl today. How could she forget.

She decided to play dumb. "What is it?"

Rex gestured at her with a hand, seemingly unaware of the chocolate brownie he was holding. "You look different."

"So that's what was under that coat," Ace half mumbled.

Buffy rose an eyebrow, glancing down at the top she was wearing. It showed off her shoulders and had a snug fit, plain, but elongating her throat and torso. Combined with her black skirt and boots, the shirt looked dressier, too. "Are you guys talking about my clothes?" she asked.

They all nodded, looking her up and down from head to toe. Buffy tried not to smile, admittedly glad inside about the reaction she had just gotten.

Then she looked at Spike, and glad was bumped up to giddy.

He'd stopped eating, the rice dish set aside and his eyes glued. Spike took her in, gaze roaming and hot, lips parted. There was a look in his eyes, as his head was tilted and his tongue ran over his bottom lip just slightly, that brought to mind a predator.

He'd seen her naked, but judging by the way his gaze kept zeroing in on her throat and shoulders, he liked seeing her dressed up, too.

Buffy, rubbing her nape and swallowing hard, met her vampire's eyes. She smiled again at him, then at the others. Stevo and Dylan had gone back to eating, albeit much slower, yet three were still a little distracted.

"Blake?"

He blinked. "Yeah?"

"Princess is eating the rest of your turkey."

"Oh," he looked down, "Crap! Get outta there, you've had enough."

Buffy watched with trepidation and excitement as Spike approached her. The others all regained their focus on their food and she wasn't sure if she was relieved or not. That look in the vampire's eyes had her both wishing for privacy with him, and wanting to be in a room with witnesses. Not that she ever thought Spike would hurt her, maybe just devour her whole and she wouldn't care.

Buffy swallowed, glancing at Spike's hand as it touched her bare shoulder; her breath shortened. "Did you get a picture of the Gem thingy?" she blurted out.

It was the most conceivable subject change, something that would no doubt be on her mind often enough to randomly ask about it. Spike didn't meet her gaze but answered, "Yeh. Dylan has it."

"Oh. Great." She looked around Spike's body at the blonde by the ham. "Dylan, could I see the picture?"

He leaned over the island and picked up a piece of paper, then held it out for her. Buffy reached around her boyfriend and grasped it. "Where'd you finally find it?"

"In a book on my computer I never thought to look in. Apparently, something otherwise dedicated to the truth and falsities of fairy legends, can have a three page chapter about the Gem of Amara, too." He stuffed a bit of ham into his mouth and groused, "Damn writers."

Buffy fought the quirking in her lips and stared down at the photo. She tilted her head to the side.

It looked a lot like amber- Hell, it looked a lot like her nightmare bracelet. She couldn't tell if the chain was silver, too, but the Gem was colored in and held a striking resemblance to any plain old amber stone. "Wow."

"It looks like that bracelet Spike had me charm for you," Stevo said astutely, "If it's still inlaid like that picture tells."

Buffy nodded, and looked at Spike again. "You sure you didn't give me some magickal vampire power bracelet?" she joked.

He shook his head with a grin. "M'not that dense, love."

"I'd like to argue that point," Blake commented.

Spike rolled his eyes, then addressed his girl. "Wanna leave these gits to stuffin their faces?"

Buffy laughed softly and nodded. Dylan, and then the others, all sang out their appreciations for the leftovers again as Spike and her headed to the living room.

They sat on the couch and Buffy crossed her legs to take off her boots. "Ya know," she said, "I think Stevo will get to your risotto if you just leave it in there."

Spike watched her slip off one shoe, then the other. He had to admit he had always liked women in boots. Add in that slit skirt, the mouthwatering top, and Buffy looked purely edible. "I think I've had my meal, m'ready for something a little... sweeter."

Buffy's wide-eyed gaze caught his, and Spike smirked. "I haven' seen you in a few days, ya know," he said, and sat down beside her.

"We talked more than once each night."

"On the bleedin phone, for a total of three minutes every time. Two the last," Spike argued. "C'mon now, what's kept you away?"

Buffy sighed, and decided that if she was going to explain herself today, she better answer his questions. "I told you I wanted to think about what... what you offered. Remember?"

It had been the only thing on his mind since he'd last seen her. "Pretty hard to forget, pet."

"Right." Buffy took a breath, then curled herself up on the couch and turned to face him. He looked vulnerable, but it was nearly invisible. Spike had a way of masking his emotions, he would try to hide them, but his eyes always gave him away. Always. "I love you," she started, her heart rising to her throat, "So much. And I want it, Spike. I never second guessed myself on that."

Awe and hope sprung into his eyes, a surprise in their arrival for him, magnificent for Buffy to see. She wanted to hold him, that look yanking on her heartstrings like a child on its mother's hand. "And I don't want some evil... THING, making us rush anything. I want to be with you, for forever, for eternity, as your mate- Whatever. I want this, and it should happen when it happens, not be done because there something's pushing us to do it."

A hard glint of doubt entered his eyes. "That's not the main reason I asked-"

"I know that." She grabbed his hand, linking their fingers, needing to be closer. "And I also know we should take our time. Okay? I've done a lot of thinking, and never once did I consider NOT doing this, I told you it was a yes and I promise that I haven't changed my mind. I love you. I just want to let it happen when it happens, no stress or pressure. We'll..." She sighed, her guts felt like they were shaking and her shoulders felt weak. She just wanted to hear him say he loved her. "Do you understand me? Please tell me you understand me. Because I can't keep explaining myself, all I know is that I love you but I don't want to demand this happen NOW when we should let it happen in its own time."

Spike frowned suddenly, and shook his head. "Hey now," he squeezed her hand in his grip, "I understand, yeh?" he said quickly, comfortingly.

Buffy nodded, finally realizing there was a burning behind her eyes. She took a deep, steadying breath, and smiled with closed lips at him. It was hard to say she wanted to wait, harder than she realized it would be. Because she did want this, but she wanted to be sure he did, too, and so rushing for any reason was out of the question.

"And I love you," he declared.

That was all she needed to hear to make the strain disappear.

***

"This is getting tiresome."

Antonia stood at the back of the cavern, wearing a delicate, white dress that spoke of virtue the woman didn't have. She was twirling a wiry ball without its center above her hand, gold flecks spiraled outward, snakelike tendrils surrounding it and sparking out of turn. The middle of the ball was a black void, but Antonia kept looking into it, searching.

"Maybe if you stopped staring at that thing you'd have some time to look for the Gem yourself."

The witch sent a halfhearted glare Flora's way. "Sometimes it amazes me how you've lasted this long with as dumb as you are." She twisted her hand around from the wrist, snapping her fingers and making the golden ball disappear. "I was searching for it, like I've been doing for the past six months..."

Antonia sighed, and started to pace. Flora made a sound of disgust. "By looking into space?"

The witch rose an eyebrow. "You run your mouth quite a bit, do you know that?"

"It's all I have to do without my magicks anymore..."

Antonia looked at her and allowed a small, cruel smile to play on her lips. "I knew you would be missing those."

Flora rolled her eyes and mumbled something to herself.

"Ooh," Antonia said mockingly, "Calling me names now, are you? Well, if the minions you'd hired had RECIEVED my orders not to harm our little lab rat, you'd still have those powers you revered so much. Now you're just back to being your impudent self."

"I forgot to tell them."

"Yes, just like I forgot how grouchy you could be." Her indigo eyes ran over the vampire in dishonest pity. "It must be so horrible to be you."

Flora withheld comment. She hated this bitch, hated working with her at all. The only upsides had been a guarantee on Spike's demise following the Gem of Amara's uncovering, and the magicks Antonia had given her as part of the plan.

But you couldn't blame Flora for letting the new lackeys in on only one part of said deal, that SHE wanted Spike dead; she was a vampire, after all. She just cared about turning her target into ash and avenging her brother, not some stupid hunk of rock that might not even exist.

Antonia was a basket case, if you asked her. This fucking Gem might not be real- If it was, only a vampire could use it. She didn't know if a witch could harness the power for something more, but even if that was possible you had to find the thing first. It wasn't worth it at this point in her opinion.

And if Spike was supposed to find it, how come he hadn't yet? How come Antonia didn't have a crystal ball showing her everything he was doing at every turn? "If you can search for the Gem with that stupid, electric lookin thing, how come you can't see what Spike is doing?" she asked irritably.

"That's what you are for," she replied condescendingly, "And you don't know how magick works. This isn't The Wizard of Oz."

Flora rolled her eyes.

"If he would just hurry up..." Antonia muttered to herself. "Prophecies never used to take this long."

"Maybe he's a little too busy fawning over that blonde bitch," Flora grumbled.

The witch paused in her stride, raising one halting finger. "What did you just mumble?"

"Spike has a little girlfriend," Flora replied, her voice not disguising one ounce of the overpowering revulsion she felt. "He fawns over her like she's more than just some idiot human."

Antonia turned around, her eyes snapping with interest. "A human being? How strange. I knew this vampire was an exception to many of your pathetic species' rules and general... lack of complexity, but I wouldn't have guessed..." She tiled her head thoughtfully and tapped a finger to her closed lips. "Hmm... Does he love her?"

Flora, surprised by the question, rose her eyebrows but answered truthfully, "I think so." She thought to herself, *Why else would he save the brat from a fall in the river?*

Antonia paused meaningfully, and then turned around in a whirl of silk and anticipation. "And he has been needing a bit of a push, hasn't he?" She smiled. "Oh I like this. I like this a lot..."
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END NOTES: I realize I am very late with this one, and I apologize, it's just that RL has become a nuisance really, I've been working more than usual for the holidays and it's hard to write lately. This chapter was like pulling teeth. As a matter of fact, I'm writing these notes before Im even finished with it so I DO finish it today and post it (finally). The next one probably won't be as late but right now it's hard to promise my usual two week update. I will try very hard, though. And I know I promised smut but after writing I realized it would be better to put it in the next chapter, so that is what I will do.
Thanks for all of the reviews and sticking with this story even when I stink at updates! I hope everybody who celebrates it had a good thanksgiving! *many hugs*





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