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Author's Chapter Notes:
I own nothing... As always (:

Thank you Sibb, Ame, & Melissa for reviewing! (:

HERE IS ANOTHER ANGST CHAPTER!

ENJOY! (:
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months…. MONTHS?

It had been three longs months since her fight with Spike and things had proceeded to get worse. She hadn’t been able to write any new songs, and when she did it was either too depressing or to personal for her to show anyone.

Spike and Buffy’s fights lately had either been stupid kindergarten; he stole the remote fights, or him throwing her virtue in her face. The worse was when he called her a bitching soulless ice queen.

Needless to say things had yet to be resolved. They were at each other’s throats on a regular basis. They barely talked to each other and when they did it was always short or world war III, and she was sick it.

**********

Buffy was sitting at the table in their hotel suite playing cards with Willow when Spike’s door opened and a brunette about her height, with a tattoo on her arm, and a hoochie skirt came stumbling out. Swaying her hips so hardly, Buffy thought this girl was going to break.

“Are you okay?” Willow asked this girl who looked like she was in another world.

“5 by 5.” She muttered with an enormous grin on her to skinny face, before exiting their room.

Buffy stomach quenched and she felt like she was about to throw up. ‘How could he do this to me? He knows how I feel and he still is going to bring some nasty trash back to our room for him to get his rocks off.’ She said to herself.

Willow turned to Buffy and squeezed her hand. “Are you okay?”

“Super.” Buffy faked a smile, even though tears were threatening to spill. Her and Spike had been far from fine for months now and she hated it.

Just then the door was slung open again only this time Spike came out. His eyes widened when he saw Buffy and Willow at the table, knowing there was no way in hell they didn’t just see the girl come out of his room.

“Hello all.” Deciding to just play it off, he walked over to the table and took a seat beside Willow.

“Having a good night Spike?” She didn’t really want to know or talk to him even, but she just couldn’t help the word vomit that passed her lips.

“So far, wanna make it better for me goldilocks?” Spike raised an eyebrow and licked his lips in a sexual manor.

“No, I don’t. I honestly want someone who… Hasn’t sleep with half of the United States population.” Shrugging nonchalantly. “I mean I’m sure your good and all, but I would rather not have sloppy seconds.”

Spike leaned over laughed. “You do realize the odds of you finding a guy, your age who is a virgin right? No matter what little miss prim and proper, you will have someone’s so called sloppy seconds.”

“Well at least I won’t be someone’s hundredth? Do you even remember half their names?” She challenged.

“Doesn’t really matter at long as you’re getting what you want.” Buffy looked at him in amazement. This was not the guy she had been friends with for 12 years, and it certainly wasn’t the guy she fell in love with all those years ago.

“I cannot believe you just said that… Has all this fame gotten to your head? I mean sure the last few months have been really rough for us, but right now I’m starting to wonder if I even know who you are.” Her world had officially been flipped on its axis and she realized now, there was no going back.

Deciding she had heard enough she got up to leave the room. She quickly dashed down the hall, smashing the stair door and began running down them with speed she never realized she had.

She got to the lobby and barely made it outside to a bench before her panic attack hit hard. Throwing her head between her knees, she started slowly counting backwards from 10 and, breathing in and out deeply, slowly. How had they gotten here? How had a world she’d known for so long, be so quickly ripped apart. She felt like she was fighting a demon, a demon that would win because she was powerless to stop it.

After several minutes she finally got her breathing under control and sat up to stare at the dark empty street.

She gathered all of her courage and did what she needed to do, for her.

Pulling out her cell phone she made a call, not caring about the consequences....

She was done.


Chapter End Notes:
Who is she gonna call and why???

REVIEW!?! lemme know what you think.

Note: Things wont be too rough forever, just hang through the torture with me for a little while.



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