Chapter 15

She opened her eyes to find herself reclining on the sofa, a stack of pillows behind her head. She'd fainted? Really? So not a Slayer thing to do.

Her hand travelled instinctively to her stomach, palm flat against the soft cotton of the tee shirt and the taught muscles beneath. Another child for them. Another miracle. She couldn't believe it.

Giles and Spike were in the living room floor, Joyce and Asher in chairs, all of them watching Eden with fascination.

"Do it again," Spike encouraged, and her fangs shifted into place.

"Amazing," Giles murmured, while Spike chucked and gazed at the girl reverently.

Eden giggled.

"And you…you can repel enemies with your magic?" Giles asked.

"Uh-huh."

"That's only the tip of the iceberg," Asher said, smiling and winking at the little girl. "They'll see, won't they?"

The three-year-old, who couldn't comprehend that she was in a different time with people who didn't actually know her yet, only smiled and nodded, fangs slipping back up into her mouth.

"Does it hurt?" Spike asked. "Hurts a bit when I put my game face on."

She shook her head.

Buffy lay there, watching them. Her sort-of, maybe future family. Her heart felt utterly constricted with the beauty of it all.

Spike looked up. He stared at her for a long moment, one eyebrow raised, before allowing his gaze to drift down to her stomach. He couldn't believe it. He'd spent over a hundred years of his life, or unlife, as it were, doing unspeakably evil things. Torture. Murder. He deserved to be punished, deserved to be miserable, the miserable half-man, half-monster he'd been only the day before. But instead, he was sitting in the floor, playing with his daughter, a child he'd make with the woman he loved more than anything else. Loved her for ages, though he'd only admitted it to himself recently. She'd choose him. Not white-bread Riley. Not true-love Angel. Him. And somewhere in the future, his Slayer was rounded and beautiful with a second baby inside of her. His baby. His family. He felt his eyes welling up and had to cough to push away the wondrous tears.

If his heart could beat, it would break his chest.

It was a magical day.

It was startling to see Eden's attachment to Spike. She followed him everywhere, curling up in his lap when he sat. The little girl wasn't the least bit frightened of him, even when he shifted into vamp face, at her request. She just giggled and traced his fangs lightly with her fingertips, as though she'd done it a hundred times before. Which she probably had. Unbelievably, Spike was a natural with her, playing and laughing. Buffy realized she'd never heard Spike laugh, truly, before. Chuckle, yes. But his genuine laughter was surprising and infectious as he and Eden chased each other around the living room. She was nearly as fast as him, already.

Asher watched Eden's interactions with Joyce carefully. The girl was enamored with her grandmother, but not once did she allude to the fact that she'd never actually met Joyce in person. It gave him immeasurable relief to think that he would not be forced to drop that horrible bombshell on them all. It would do no good for them to know, now. And it would upset them all so terribly.

It would upset Dawn. His Dawn.

He kept hoping she'd walk through the door; how he'd love to see her as the pouty, petulant teenager she'd claimed to be. It would give him such pleasure. But the door remained firmly closed and he supposed he wouldn't get the opportunity to see her in this time, after all. Pity. But he'd gotten to meet her mother, at least. How he'd have liked to talk with Joyce about Dawn, to tell her that, as loved as Buffy would be, Dawn would be as well. But it would have been too much, Asher could see that. And Joyce didn't know about Dawn now, didn't know that she was anything other than a teenage girl. She wasn't worried that Dawn's future would be bleak and empty. She already believed that Dawn would do the normal things that normal girls did-grow up, go to school, get married, have children. It was Buffy she feared for, Buffy whose future she needed believe in.

And Asher had been able to give her that.

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Buffy would have been content to watch her daughter all day. Just seeing Eden was a thrill, just drinking her in. But all too soon, Asher was studying his silver pocket watch and telling Eden to say her goodbyes.

"Don't worry," Asher said to her, smiling. "You truly will see them again in just a moment."

Spike was the first to receive a goodbye hug, and Eden's little arms around him nearly sent him into a poncey crying fit. How long since anyone had wrapped their arms around him, save for Buffy last night, and he couldn't think on that right now. Too confusing. But this sweet, magical child threw her tiny arms around his neck, and he felt as though he might drown in the innocence of her embrace. He breathed in the scent of her, vanilla like Buffy, and lavender, and sweet little girl sweat. He held her tight, willing her scent, the feel of her, to stay with him in these years in between, while he waited for her to exist. Please, he begged silently. God, or the Powers That Be, or Whoever…please don't let me muck this up. Please don't let me do anything to stop her from existing. I haven't done a thing to deserve it, but I will. I swear it. I'll do anything to make sure it all comes true.

Buffy smiled into the crook of the little girl's neck when her own goodbye came. "Don't be afraid," she whispered. "You'll be right back home with us before you know it." She didn't know if her words were comforting. She didn't know how to be comforting. She'd never spent much time around children, except for Dawnie when she was little, and even that had never really happened. She'd long ago stopped expecting to have children of her own one day. And now, this. "You're a really, really brave girl," she said. "I'm so proud of you."

"Love you, Mummy."

Buffy's voice caught, and she looked over Eden's shoulder to see Spike's eyes on her."I love you too," she whispered. "I love you so much."

"Goodbye, Granpa," Eden said, hugging Giles in a playful manner that suggested that someone had certainly loosened up in his old age. Maybe it was being a grandfather (or the equivalent thereof) that had done it. Buffy giggled at Giles' pink cheeks and carefree smile.

Asher held his breath as Eden embraced Joyce, the hug lasting just a little too long, as though Eden did realize what she wasn't verbalizing, as if she wanted to make sure to remember the feel of her grandmother's arms around her. He swallowed hard at the painfully sweet display.

After all of the official goodbyes, Eden popped herself up into Asher's lap, where they sat. And sat.

"You don't…need to do anything to make it happen?" Giles asked, anxiously.

Asher shook his head. "It's up to you—future you—to bring me back at the proper time. All I need is to be in physical contact with Eden to ensure that she travels with me as well." He checked his watch. "Should be any moment now."

Buffy looked at Asher. "Everything works out, really?"

"Everything works out," he said with a smile. "All in good time. It was a pleasure to meet you all." And, before their eyes, the pair started to disappear.

"Wait!" Buffy said, eyes watering. She had the sudden paralyzing fear that if her little girl disappeared now, she would never see her again. "Wait…"

But they were gone. And Buffy couldn't do anything about the lingering, painful ache of very quickly losing such a tangible part of herself. She couldn't do anything about the surprising sobs that stole her breath and shook her body, causing her to double over in the living room as the others watched in stunned silence.

"Oh, God," she gasped. "Oh, God." She couldn't remember ever feeling sadness so crippling.

And then Spike's strong arms were around her and he was holding her so tightly, his own voice cracking in her ear as he murmured soft reassurances that it would all be okay, that it would all work out, that they would see her again. Joyce and Giles quietly crept from the room as the pair of warriors clutched each other in a powerful embrace that would have broken any two people with less strength.

"Buffy," Spike whispered over and over in his ragged voice, when all the other words had run out. He crushed her to his chest and kissed her tears away while ignoring his own. "My Buffy. My Buffy."

And she knew that she was.





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