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Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I still don't own Buffy or Spike.

Thanks to the Ginar369 for the beta.

Chapter Three



Buffy had enjoyed the time she and Spike had spent together but when the following day arrived it was time to face reality. She could tell that he was trying hard to be okay with this seismic change in his life. He was a lot quieter than he usually was and this was disconcerting. Any time she tried to bring up the subject of this change, he veered the conversation to another subject. Patience was something she had to work very hard at and as a result she had several cuts on her lip from biting down on it. She wondered, if he thought if he ignored the change, it would go away. Fat chance of that. She was hurting for him, while at the same time, if she was honest, she was delighted he was human, because it meant they could do normal things. This made her feel guilty and she Spike knew how she felt, even if he said nothing and resented the fact that something that making him miserable was something she was happy about. It helped her keep her temper in check. She managed to get him out of the house and down to the local coffee house for some coffee and donuts. They were sitting at a booth in the back of the shop and he had barely said a word since they arrived other than to order what he wanted. They had been through a lot of shit together and they had done a lot of terrible things to one another. Yet, she had rarely been uncomfortable in his presence or struggled to talk to him even when it was disgust or anger. Words of comfort didn’t come easy to her, so she decided to show him instead. She slipped her socked foot from her boot and ran her foot up and down his leg. He jumped and his blue eyes widened as she continued her journey up his thigh. She was disappointed, when he caught her foot in his hand. Still, she had caught his attention.

He shook his head. “I thought you’d gotten over your exhibitionist phase, love.”

“I’m a naughty girl. What you going to do about it?” She tried to extricate her foot from his grasp.

“Not so fast,” he said and he started to rub circles into her feet, which incidentally were quite sore from her fashionable yet uncomfortable boots. Despite herself, she let out a loud moan and everyone in the coffee shop turned to look at her. She turned bright red at the knowing stares. She hurriedly pulled her foot from his hand and put it back into her boot.

“Let’ get out of here,” she hissed at him, determinedly ignoring all the giggles.

Spike’s satisfied smirk never left his face as they left. The man had no shame.

“What did you do that for?”

“You started it, love.”

“Point taken,” she admitted with a sigh. “Oh, we can never show our faces in there again.”

Spike started to laugh and she followed suit. The chuckling pair headed off on their way home.

*********************





A couple of hours later, the doorbell rang. Buffy was not surprised to see her sister and her two best friends standing on the door step. She had put them off the previous day to allow Spike some time to adjust but she knew they were anxious to see him.

“Hi, guys,” Buffy said letting them inside.

Xander had his arm around Dawn and Buffy had to admit back in Sunnydale she had never seen that development coming. Initially, she had been a little uneasy given the age gap and that Xander used to babysit her, however Dawn had pointed out she could hardly complain about age difference given her relationships. They were still together and going strong; Buffy could see they were meant for each other.

“Where’s the newly human dude?” Xander asked.

“Right here,” Spike said, walking into the living room. “Did I enter on your bad side? It must be a bitch having only one eye. You miss all sorts.”

“Ah,” Xander replied. “I see you haven’t loss your forked tongue.”

“It’s the only evil I have left,” Spike joked. There was a bitter note to the words and Buffy doubted she was the only one who noticed it.

“Well it’s good to see you up and walking and insulting,” Xander said.

Spike nodded his thanks. Xander and Spike were always bickering. Despite all the male posturing, she suspected they rather liked each other or at least liked having some male solidarity in a group of strong, opinionated women.

“Ditto,” added Willow and stepped forward and embraced him.

Unable to restrain herself any longer, Dawn rushed right at Spike and squeezed him tightly. “You scared me. Don’t you do that to Buffy again!”

“I didn’t plan it, pet.” Spike rolled his eyes, but Buffy could see the little smile that showed he was gratified by her concern.

Dawn continued, “I stayed that night you know, but no sooner had you woken then Buffy decided she wanted you all to herself.”

“It was as well,” Spike admitted. “I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with people.”

Xander had been quiet all the time but he couldn’t resist. “I never thought there was a time when you ever were a people person.”

Spike glared at him. “Oh ha ha! You’re one to bleedin’ talk considering you’ve always been the social butterfly.”

Dawn in an attempt to prevent war decided to change the subject. “What are you going to do now you’re human?”

Spike looked taken aback at the question and Dawn put her hand to her mouth, seeming to realise she had asked the wrong question. Xander either didn’t care or didn’t realise this was a topic to be avoided.

Xander smirked. “You’ll have to get a normal job now like the rest of us humans. You don’t have the excuse of being unemployable anymore.”

“I have a job already, Harris,” Spike said.

Buffy exchanged a concerned glance with Dawn. She had not got around discussing any options about his future with Spike yet. There were certain aspects that just weren’t doable for a human, even if he was Spike.

“You can’t help train the slayers anymore,” Xander pointed out. “You’re just as breakable as me these days, and do you really think your demon buddies would listen to a human even if he used to be a vampire.”

Buffy watched Spike carefully for a reaction. For once she found him difficult to read. She really would have to talk to Xander about his big mouth someday.

After a moment of silence, Spike replied, “What can I say? I’m too pretty to need to work. Buffy loves bringing home the bacon.”

Even Xander couldn’t miss the tension in the room now. He sent an apologetic glance to Buffy.

He clapped Spike on the back. “There’s one job I’m sure you could still do. Fancy hustling some people out of their hard earned cash with a spot of pool?”

Spike’s eyes lit up at that. “You play the way you normally do and I’ll throw a game or two. They won’t know what’s hit em.”

She felt a rush of warmth for her friend for knowing what to say in the end.

“Go,” she urged. “The girls and I are overdue a chat over ice cream. You boys go do boy things.”

Spike came over to her and kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear, “I’ll be fine, love. Don’t worry about me. It’s going to take time.” He could see right through her and she wished she could say the same. His emotion was always an open book; his mind wasn’t as easy to read. She watched as the two men headed off jostling each other as they went. The door slammed behind them and Buffy turned to meet two concerned faces. The two women guided her to the kitchen, where they sat down.

“How are you doing?” Dawn asked.

“It’s not me you need to be concerned about.”

“Oh, Buffy,” Willow shook her head. “Spike’s been through a lot, but he’s got you to worry about him. Who’s going to look after you?”

Buffy sniffled a little at that. “It’s been like walking on egg shells, not knowing the right thing to say or do. Tomorrow, I’m going to take him to the slayer headquarters to get him checked out. He managed to talk me out of it today.”

Dawn patted her hand across the table. “Spike knows you love him and he’s going to get through this. If he starts brooding too much, then I’ll just have to kick his ass for you.”

Buffy smiled. She knew Dawn meant it.

“You might want to be strong for Spike but you don’t have to be for us,” Wilow said.

Xander must have realised she needed this chat and Spike too she imagined judging at the look on his face before he left. She decided to speak before she lost the courage, “Spike’s always been strong and I’m not usually one for holding back when I’m angry at him. I feel like I’ve been changed in some way too and then I wonder if I’m making it worse by treating him differently.”

Having Willow and Dawn there, not judging just listening, gave her strength to continue on and voice her fears. Both she and Spike were getting what they needed tonight but it wasn’t with each other.

****************************





The next couple of days passed in a whirlwind of interviews and medical exams. Buffy really felt for Spike knowing how uncomfortable this must be making him. The Slayers were treating him like an exhibition and any time she and Spike entered the local Slayer office, they were accompanied by whispers and stares. Spike had the usual medical checks, as well as some tests on his strength and muscle. Buffy suspected he was starting to fully comprehend the physical changes in himself and the fact he could no longer have such an active role in patrolling. He had been very grumpy and touchy in the aftermath. It had taken five days for the tests to be completed and Spike was at the slayer office to get the results. Spike and Buffy were sitting in the visitor’s room in the west wing whiling away the time.

“I reckon those wankers just did half of those tests for kicks,” Spike moaned. “Those nerds can’t resist the mystery of the vampire ending up with a pulse.”

Buffy didn’t say anything not wanting to encourage his rant, although she did think he had a point.

“I don’t care what they say,” Spike continued, putting his arms across his chest. “I’m not doing any more tests.” He looked the picture of a sulking child and she giggled earning her a glower from his direction. She was saved from explaining herself by the sound of the nurse calling Spike’s name.

The two got to their feet. “Do you still want me to come in with you?” Buffy asked.

“Might be safer, love. I’m feeling a mite violent.”

Spike and Buffy walked into the now familiar looking medical office. The room was very sterile looking with all white walls and ceilings. Buffy shuddered as it reminded her of a hospital and she had seen enough of those to last a lifetime. They took a seat in front of a mahogany desk, while they waited for the doctor. Spike was anxiously jiggling his leg to her left and Buffy took his hand in hers. Dr. Collins entered the room and beamed at them. He was red haired, amiable man with a propensity to put his foot in his mouth. Despite his foibles, he had a heart of gold and his record spoke for itself.

“How are you both, today?” the doctor asked.

“Impatient,” Spike said bitingly.

The doctor flushed and Buffy sent a glare at Spike for his rudeness before turning back to the doctor.

“We’re very well, thank you,” she said. “Sorry about Spike. He’s being an insufferable grump today.”

“Hey, I’m right here,” Spike hissed.

Dr. Collins coughed looking uncomfortable to be in the middle of a domestic spat.

He turned to Spike and said, “It’s good news. You’re perfectly healthy. Your physical condition is very good and you have maintained your physique.”

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief.

Spike wore an equally relieved expression and got to his feet pulling her with him. “Let’s get out of here!”

Before they could make a move to the door, Dr. Collins coughed to get their attention. They turned their attention back to him.

Turning to Spike he said, “You’ll find as a human, it’s a lot harder to keep fit. I have made out a fitness regimen for you.” He handed a laminated piece of paper to Spike. He continued, “I was hoping you would allow me interview you on a regular basis and include the results in a paper I’m working on for the council.” He gestured to a piece of paper and pen he had on his desk. “You just need to sign this release.”

“Fuck off!” Spike shook his head and handed the regimen back to him. “I appreciate your help, doctor, but I’m done with this shit.”

Dr. Collins’s mouth flew open and Spike stomped towards the door.

“Are you coming, love?” Spike called over his shoulder as he walked out.

Buffy smiled apologetically at the doctor. “He’s grateful, just not eager to put the experience on rinse and repeat. He’s not a very good patient.”

“I gathered that,” Dr. Collins muttered drily.

“Thank you, Doctor,” Buffy said. She went to follow Spike and found him waiting for her in the foyer.

Spike still had an angry tic in his cheek and Buffy could see he was in a right temper.

“I’m not doing this again, love,” he said. “Enough is enough. I’m not some project. I’ve been a guinea pig for medical types before.”

“Nobody is making you do anything,” she reassured him.

He was still glowering and she rolled her eyes. Patience wasn’t exactly one of her virtues but somehow she was managing to allow him have his sulk, although she didn’t think she could take much more of it. She needed some way to bring him out of his funk. There was only one thing she could think of and it could either be just what he needed or an utter disaster.

She looped her arm in his and they started to head in the direction of the exit. “Let’s go out tonight,” she suggested.

“I don’t know,” he began. “I’m not really in the mood.”

Buffy smiled coyly. “I’ll wear your favourite dress and we can go get some dinner. We can have a bottle of wine and some Chinese. Then we can go patrolling after.”

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her. “Patrolling? Not afraid I’m going to be in the way?”

She nodded and she could see a small smile tug at his lips. His eyes lit up at the prospect.

“Spike, you might not be as strong as you used to be,” Buffy said, with an earnest expression in her eyes. “Still, you’re one of the best fighters I’ve known. We need to know what you’re capable of. More importantly you need to believe in yourself again.”

“I don’t-” Spike protested only to be cut off.

She shushed him. “You don’t have to be okay for me. You can be as miserable as you feel and you can tell me anything. You gave me that a couple of years when I came back from the dead. Let me help you.”

Spike looked at her with one of those penetrating looks that made her feel naked under his gaze.

“One hell of a woman,” he muttered. “You never cease to amaze me.”

He always made her feel simultaneously embarrassed and loved at the same time when he looked at her like that.

“We better get going,” Spike said. “No point standing around.”

They started walking once more. They navigated the busy corridors, briefly greeting those they knew. The exit was within sight at last when Buffy’s cell phone beeped in her pocket and she pulled it out to see she had a text from Willow.

It read, “Buff, I know you and Spike are around today. Can you call over to my office before you go?”

Buffy let out a sigh. “That was Will. She wants us to call over.”

“What for?” Spike groused. “No offence to Red or anything, but I’m done with being the performing chimpanzee.”

Spike’s satisfied grin didn’t quite lend itself to the grousing.

“Come on, grumpy,” Buffy teased. “The sooner we see Will, the sooner we can get out of here.”

They went back the way they came and were at Willow’s office within moments. Buffy rapped on the door.

“Come in,” Willow called out.

Spike and Buffy walked into the office. Buffy thought the place really suited Willow. It was bright, airy and full of colour.

“Thanks for coming by,” Willow said. “I have a present for you, Spike.”

Spike turned to look at Buffy. “Did you know something about this?”

She shook her head, just as surprised as he was.

Willow handed Spike a thick envelope. “It’s not really a present, but something I figured you might need now.”

Spike’s frown deepened at that and he rummaged inside the envelope. Buffy’s curiosity was peaked and she leaned in to look closer. He pulled out some papers and placed them on the table. Buffy could see what looked like a birth certificate and a driver’s license on the pile. Spike looked like he didn’t know what to make of all this.

Willow was smirking, proud of her achievement. “Not only are you human now, Spike, you’re a real documented person with a green card and passport and all.”

“Thank you, Red,” Spike said quietly. “I guess I can’t bite a copper if he pulls me over a speeding ticket anymore, and there’s no need for me to travel in baggage hold on a plane neither.”

*****************************



Later that night, Buffy was feeling extremely content. She had been in her favourite restaurant, stomach full with delicious food and shared a dessert with Spike. Throughout the meal they played footsie under the table. After they had finished, Spike helped Buffy into her jacket. They bid the waiter goodbye and headed out into the street. The wine was making her feel a little lightheaded and she wondered if perhaps she should give the patrolling a miss. Looking at Spike’s grin she decided that she couldn’t break her promise. Buffy nearly took a tumble after getting her heel caught in a drain but her slayer reflexes meant she righted herself quickly. Spike wasn’t taking any chances and had grabbed her by waist. His hand slid down to cup her ass and she reflected how his gentlemanly behaviour didn’t very long, not that she minded. Buffy smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss.

“You really shouldn’t drink, love,” Spike said. “What would you have done if I wasn’t there to catch you?”

She shook her head. “I stopped myself from falling before you even caught me. Besides, all you were doing was grabbing my ass.”

He shrugged, “I couldn’t miss the opportunity, but you should probably get a coffee.”

“I better get changed as well,” she added.

Spike’s appreciative leer made her heart thud. “Pity,” he said.

The laughing pair made their way home.

***************************





Spike and Buffy went to the cemetery closest to their house and there did not seem to be vampires out. Buffy knew Spike was itching to prove himself but she was glad there was little action.

“Maybe it’s time to all it a day, Spike?” she asked.

He bristled at the suggestion. “Are you changing your mind?”

“No, I’m not,” she lied. “I just think if there was any action to be had that it would be here already.”

Buffy could see the vein in his forehead about to pop. “Come on, Buffy. We’ve only been out a half an hour. Give it time.”

“Fine,” she relented. “A half hour.”

He mock saluted her. “Yes ma’am.”

Spike was right and it wasn’t long before trouble found them. Buffy heard the sound of earth shifting and sure enough when she scanned the graves nearby a hand was coming up from the ground. Spike took off eagerly in the direction of the grave and Buffy rushed after him. By the time they got there the vampire was half way out of the grave and was looking at Spike like he was his dinner. The Slayer jumped in front of Spike and dusted the vampire. Only I get to eye my boyfriend like that. She whirled around to face Spike and one look at him told her she was annoyed that he interfered. His mouth was in a thin line and his eyes narrowed. She was at the end of her tether, walking on egg shells, so she just let it rip. To hell with his bruised ego.

“You’re human, you used to eat people like you,” she barked.

“I could have taken her out if you had given me half a chance,” he retorted.

They were interrupted by a scream from the other side of the cemetery.

“We’ll have this conversation later,” Buffy said waspishly.

Buffy wanted to tell him to stay behind and let her take care of this. She knew he wouldn’t though, so she kept her mouth shut as the two of them headed in the direction of the disturbance. Another newly risen vampire had attacked an old lady, who was doing her best to beat it off with a handbag.

“Hey, Bitey, how about you pick on someone with a pointy weapon.” She brandished her stake.

You would think that the fact she had a stake would have put off the vampire, but as she was well aware these fledges could be pretty dumb when in the throes of their first blood lust. The vampire turned away from the old lady and turned his attention to Buffy instead.

“Spike, help grandma,” she ordered.

Spike obeyed her and went over the woman leaving Buffy satisfied that the vampire was concentrated solely on her. She hoped this fledge would give her a good battle considering she was in dire need of an ass kicking. The vampire went for her and she just side stepped him.

“You’ll have to do better, Bitey,” she said and grabbed him thrusting the stake into his chest.

The poor woman was unhurt but shaken nonetheless.

“What was that?” she asked.

“Vampire, pet,” Spike answered. “You should never venture into graveyards at night, you silly bint.”

“Excuse me,” she said.

“Sssh,” Spike said. “Do you hear that?”

There was the sound of shifting earth again. Suddenly, Buffy felt a hand on her foot. Another vampire was rising. This was ridiculous and no doubt it was all because of her thought that nothing evil was lurking. Buffy grabbed the hand and pulled the vampire from the grave. The vamp managed to wriggle from her grasp and her blood froze as he went straight for Spike. She needn’t have worried though as Spike had his stake and dusted the vampire easily.

“That was piss easy,” Spike declared. “Don’t know what you were worried about, Slayer.”

Buffy left the barb slide; she was much too relieved.

The old lady was looking at Spike like he was the most amazing person in the world. Buffy rolled her eyes skyward. I did the same thing earlier, but no fawn over the beautiful man why don’t you. Spike was preening under the attention.

“Let’s get you home,” Buffy put in.

Spike held her arm out for the old lady to take. Buffy was surprised she was accepting his gallant gesture, when he had been so rude to her only moments before. He extended the other for Buffy to take much to her surprise.

“Later,” he whispered. “Truce for now.”

She knew they were going to have one hell of a fight later.

************************



After Buffy and Spike dropped the old lady home, they spent the journey home in silence. There was so much tension bubbling under the surface these past few days. She spent the time running over the night’s events in her head. She had thought she was ready to go out there with him and patrol. She wasn’t stupid. She knew he was in need of some violence as much as she was. It was part of him, but knowing he was human made her instinctively want to protect him. That’s what she did, who she was. Spike didn’t want to be protected. He still wanted to be a champion, fight at her side and be her equal. He was deluded and he was in for a rude awakening when it finally hit him. Once they stepped across the threshold and the door was closed, the dam broke.

Spike got right in her face. “You’re a hypocritical bitch,” he raged. “You told me earlier you believed in me and you were giving me a chance to trust in myself and test what I can do. Was that all lies? Was it some crumb you were throwing my way?”

“You’re an asshole,” Buffy shouted. “I meant what I said. It didn’t include you trying to get yourself killed.”

“Bullshit,” he argued. “I wasn’t trying to get myself killed. You didn’t give me a chance to prove myself. ‘Sides when I did I was able to do the business.”

Buffy softened her tone hoping to get through to him. “Maybe, Spike, but you can’t be deliberately putting yourself in harm’s way. Fine, help me patrol. You’ve got remember I’m a Slayer. As much as you don’t want to believe it, you’re not a vampire anymore.”

He didn’t answer and just sat down on the couch instead.

Buffy sighed. “I love you. I really do. I know I don’t say it enough.”

He looked up. “I know, and I you. It’s just hard is all.”

She took off her coat and popped it on the coat rack. She was exhausted both mentally and physically.

“I’m going to bed,” she said. “You coming?”

Spike shook his head. She went upstairs and threw off her clothes before jumping into the shower to rinse off the grime and dirt that was sticking to her skin. When she was young and naïve before Angel broke her heart, she had believed if you loved someone then anything was possible. She knew better now. You needed a lot more than love and you needed to work hard to keep the flame burning. She felt like they were drifting apart slowly and she wasn’t sure what she could do to stop it. She let herself cry as the water cleansed her body but not her mind. Once she was finished she wrapped herself in a soft, fluffy towel and went back into the bedroom. She threw on her pyjamas and got into her bed. There was a cough from the doorway and she looked up to see Spike standing there. Her heart lifted at the sight.

“Thank god,” she said. “I hate going to sleep angry.”

He tossed off his clothes with a grin and slipped under the sheets. She snuggled into him and felt like things would be alright, even if all they did lately was hold each other.

To be continued...






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