Disclaimer:  I don’t own or profit from BtVS.

SPOILERS:  Lie To Me

Remember When

Chapter Three

Spike stalked down the sidewalk.  Soddin’ dozy woman.  Prattling on about blue-eyed pixies this and dancing sunshine that.  How was a man supposed to conduct business when his home life was in shambles?  There he was, trying to get that text translated, and Dru’s dancing around singing to the stars, throwing out accusations that he’s a bad dog.  Hells forbid, he’d snap at her just the tiniest little bit.  He was trying to save her after all!  You’d think the bloody woman would be used to a little bad-mouthing, being Angelus’ childe and all.  But no.  He gets banished to the doghouse.  Literally!  She didn’t let him out of that bleedin’ kennel cage for three soddin’ days!  If he didn’t love her so damn much he’d---well he didn’t know what, but fuck how much was a man supposed to stomach?

It didn’t help that she kept calling his wrinklies into question for not killing the Slayer when he had her all, but trapped like a fish in a barrel.  Of course, pointing out that the reason he failed was because Drusilla allowed herself to be taken captive did not help his case.  Bloody buggering fuck, did she screech up a hell storm for that little reminder.  Why didn’t you protect me, Spike?  Why did you let her get away, Spike?  Why don’t you love me enough to kill the Slayer, Spike?  It was enough to put a bloke off his feed, it was. 

He rubbed his stomach, salivating when he caught the scent of something ripe and tart.  He melted into the shadow of an elm tree, listening to the quick staccato of a heartbeat and the panicked clatter of approaching footsteps.

Something young and scared entered the yellow pool of light from the street lamp and paused.  She gnawed her lower lip, gaging the distance to the next lake of light and the depth of the darkness between.  Something startled her, instinct maybe, and she swiveled her head towards the shadows where he hid.  Her glossy pigtails gleamed in the lamplight, picking up hints of gold and auburn.

“What are you doing out after dark, little girl?” he growled, prowling up to the edge of light, but not entering.  She jumped, pure terror etched on her pale face.

“Spike!”  She rushed out of the light, straight into the darkness where he stood.  “I’m so glad it’s you!”  She tugged on his leather sleeve, and looked up at him with complete adoration and trust.  If he could barf, he would have.

“Will you stop doing that, Snack Size.  You’re gonna bruise the leather.”  He yanked his arm away, glancing around to make sure no one saw him not eating the Slayer’s kid sis.  Fuck, how mortifying.

“Oh, sorry.”  She quipped, crowding closer.  If he didn’t know better he’d think she was snuggling up to him for protection, and that could not possibly be the case.  He knew for a fact, big sis warned her about him.  Big, bad, and dangerous were the precise adjectives used.  Was the girl lack-brained?  He peered down at her.

“Aren’t you violatin’ one of big sis’ precious rules?”

Dawn reddened, and now she was so close he could smell the salt stink of tears on her.  “Oh.  Out after dark.  It’s less of a rule, and more of a way of life.”

“Uh huh,” Spike drawled, demanding an answer.  Dawn shifted under his scrutiny.  He watched as she screwed up her face in a way that reminded him of the Slayer when she was getting ready to stake him good and proper.

“Could you walk me home?”

“No!”  Spike was appalled.  What was wrong with this sprog?  Was she dropped on her head as a tot?  He was the Big Bad, not a soddin’ boy scout.  Where did this brat come off thinking he was some sort of savior and not the monster who was going to have her for dinner?  “Didn’t your sister tell you?  I’m dangerous!”

“Oh, right.”  She actually sounded like she forgot.  Was it something about him?  Did he not slick his curls down tonight?  He swept his hands over his skull, relieved to feel that his unruly hair was completely under control.  What the fuck?  Was he losing his touch?  Maybe he should vamp out to remind her he was EVIL!

She shifted away and tucked her hands under her armpits defensively.  Spike felt a moment of gratification.  That was much better.  It wasn’t outright, pants-pissing terror, but it was better than the near affection she was displaying before.

“You gonna kill me?”

Eeeh.  Fuck.  What to say to that?  Was he?  Why hadn’t he?  They’d been standing alone in the dark for nearly five minutes.  She should be a luke-warm corpse on the neighbor’s lawn by now.

When he didn’t answer right away she asked, “You gonna kill my sister?”

“Yes!” he snarled.  Finally!  Something he could respond to.  He was going to swallow that bitch down like she was Slurpee on a hot day.  She would taste like candy and sex and everything nice.  Then he and Dru would fuck on her cooling corpse.  He’d paint crimson rosettes of Slayer blood on the hard, white flesh of his love and lick it off.  He’d pump his cock…Snack Size scrambled away.  Her usually flushed face was pallid, and he frowned.  The fear wafting off her was nauseating.

“Oh, well.  This is…um…awkward,” she stuttered.  She fidgeted under his hard glare.  Her entire body was canted away from him, but she didn’t make any move to run.

“Isn’t it time for you to start referring to lesson the first?”  He kinked his head to the side, watching her with narrowed eyes.

“Why?” she asked in a tiny voice, and his head almost exploded.  Why?!  He was soddin’ dangerous, that’s why! 

“I mean, you’d totally catch me in like two steps and I don’t think there’s a dirty trick in the book, I could use, if my sister can’t even beat you.”

Oh, well.  That was a bit of alright, then.  She did have a point.  Clever baby bint.  There was no way she could get away from him.  He exhaled gustily, feeling suddenly right with the world again.

“Let’s get you home.”  He strode towards her house, slowing his pace when she eventually scampered after him with her much shorter stride.  After a few minutes he glanced down at her from under the veil of his lashes.  Her head was lowered, and she was kicking a pebble along the walk.  The smell of her fear had dissipated, but she was still upset about something.

“So you gonna tell me what the problem is, Snack Size?”

“My name is Dawn.  D.A.W.N.  Dawn.”

Fuck.  She was a real bitch, just like big sis.  There must be some sort of Summers women training program they go through to learn how to wield axes and snark venomously.

His hand lashed out, grabbing her by the pigtail, and yanking hard.  She squealed, but it was quickly cut off when he leaned down to look her in the eye.

“I. Don’t. Care,” he annunciated carefully.  “’M the Big Bad an’ I’ll call you wot I want.  Got it?”

She swallowed, her eyes the size of Scottish lochs.  “Y-yah.  G-got it,” she stuttered.  “Snack Size is good.  I always wanted a nickname that wasn’t stupid like Dawnie.  Makes me sound like a New Kid on the Block.”

He released her, and she skittered away, putting at least a foot and half between them, but she still didn’t run away.  He started walking, and she fell in step a little behind him.  His stomach was feeling sour again, and he absently rubbed his hand over his midriff.  He really should eat something.

“Well?” he snarled, glancing down at her.  She blinked rapidly, fighting down tears while trying to remember what he asked.

“Oh.”  Her shoulders slumped.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”  She looked at him nervously.  “Is that okay?”  Now that he got it in her to mind her P’s and Q’s she wasn’t sure which were the P’s and which were the Q’s.  Little thing was jumpy as a cat in a dog pound.

“Fine.”  He waved her off, picking up speed.  He didn’t want to hear her stupid little girl problems anyway.  Since she’d been heading home when he found her, she couldn’t be running away, which meant all was well in the Summers’ abode.  Nothing there he could use against the Slayer when he squared off with her again.

“Kristy Fairfield is a jerk and a bully.”

Spike slowed, and the young girl caught up.  She launched a swift and completely ineffective kick at the too high grass of some sod’s lawn as they passed through the darkness to another pool of light.

“I thought she wanted to be my friend, but she only invited me to her stupid slumber party so she and her little gang of butt monkeys could make fun of me.”  She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“What’d they do?”

“Teased me and stuff.  Said Buffy was a weirdo ‘cause she got kicked out of her last school for setting fires.  And, you know, she’s always around when freaky stuff happens.”  She scowled, and Spike could see her twelve-year-old mind blaming her big sister for all her problems.

“Sorta her job, innit?”

“Yeah,” she pouted.  “I just wish I could tell them how cool she really is.  I mean, she saves people all the time.  She’d even save them though they’re a bunch of meanies.  It’s so unfair, yah know?”

“Yeah.”  He fished out a fag, lighting it with a snick of his lighter.  He knew how it felt to be helpless.  To be the butt of everyone’s joke.  That’s why he relished being the Big Bad.  Anyone who fucked with him got their heads twisted off.

“Teasin?  That’s it?  You risked life and limb runnin’ into the dark of night over that?”

He peered at her closely.  The Slayer’s baby sis was smarter than that.  Besides, six years at preparatory school taught him better.  If there wasn’t more to the story he was a monkey’s uncle.  Sure enough, she curled into herself like a dying flower.  She sniffled for a while and he let her be.  Maybe it was something she should talk to her sister about.

“They waited until I was asleep then they put my hand in a bowl of warm water so I’d pee the bed.”  She started wailing, and Spike felt the god-awful sound in his spleen.  Seeing approaching danger he tried to sidle away, but she was faster than she looked.  She latched onto him, smooshing her soggy face into his stomach.

“Oi!  Leave off!  You’re goin’ to ruin the leather.”  He tried to pry her off, but she was like a fledge on a first kill.  “I said—“ he shoved her hard, and she spun away.  “Leave off.”

She landed on her butt in the grass, sobbing big, fat tears and leaking snot.  Spike couldn’t stop his sigh.  The trick the brats played was pretty rough, especially on an adolescent girl.  He edged just close enough, and patted her awkwardly on the head.

“Listen, Snack Size.”  He was surprised when her sobs lessened.  It kinda warmed the cockles of his undead heart that the little girl wanted to hear what he had to say.  He searched for some tidbit of wisdom to share.

“There’s a bloody lot of wankers in the world.  You being human an’ all, you can’t just go around twisting heads off so you gotta learn how to avoid them.”  Spike was proud of himself.  The advice he gave seemed reasonably doable for a human.  Avoiding after all wasn’t the same as fleeing.  It was just good strategy.

“What if you can’t?”  She wiped her eyes with her hand, and when she looked up at him with big, wet eyes he felt helpless in a way he hadn’t in over a hundred years.

“Then you gotta give as good as you get.  If they’re bitches, then you gotta be a superbitch.  Just watch your sis.  She can give you lots of pointers.”

Dawn frowned up at him, her nose crinkling.  She reminded him of the Slayer when she found something particularly repugnant.  He was the recipient of that look just the other night when he showed up to the little party her friend threw just for her.  He almost had her, but he hesitated.  For the barest second he wanted to know if the look of disgust on her face was because of what Angelus said to her.  He had the almost overwhelming urge to blurt out that he would never touch Snack Size like that.  But then the little bitch had to go and hold a stake to his Dru’s heart, and all thoughts other than getting her between his teeth flew right out his head.

“Mom says I should walk away when someone’s being mean to me.”

“Bollox.  Turnin’ your back just makes you a target.”

Dawn threw up her hands in pure exasperation.  “Well, what should I of done?” she snapped.

Spike eyed her, taking the last long drag of his fag before he threw it at her feet.  It bounced, the cherry-red tip nearly singeing her leg.  She squeaked and scooted away.  He deliberately stepped on the butt with heavy, buckled boot, stomping it out with a slow twist of his foot, his thick tread grinding on the sidewalk.

“For starters,” he drawled.  “You shoulda called the Slayer to pick you up instead of running out into the night where any number of beasties coulda made a meal of you.”

“Yeah.  I know.”  She rubbed her eyes one last time, and wearily pulled herself off the ground.  Spike paced her as she slowly made her way down the walk.  “Buffy is going to be so peeved.”

Spike scoffed.  Peeved didn’t even begin to cover it.  He imagined the Slayer’s eyes flashing red with rage once she finally caught up with baby sis.

“What else?”  Dawn asked.

Spike curled his lip, considering the question.  “Well.  Whenever your in someone’s territory its always a good idea to get a lay of the land.”

“What’s that mean?”  Her brow quirked.

“It means, snoop.  I’m sure you’re good at that.  Figure out their secrets and what not.  Know their weaknesses.  It’s too late now, but you shoulda read her girly journal if she had one.  Woulda gave you ammunition.”

She gasped, her little mouth rounded.  “I couldn’t do that.  It’s---“

“Evil?” he quipped, his scarred brow cocked.

“An invasion of privacy,” she finished primly.  “And kinda evil,” she conceded.

“All I’m sayin’ is a little revenge goes a long ways.  Soon you’ll get a rep and no one will bugger with you.”

“Is bugger British for the ‘F’ word?”

Spike rolled his eyes, but didn’t have a chance to answer.  He smelled rage, fear and power.  He pulled to a stop just outside a ring of light.

“Slayer.”

She appeared under the street lamp, her hair gleaming like old gold in the light.

“Please don’t hurt her, Spike.”  Her hand tightened around her stake, which was pulled tight to her chest.  When Kristy’s mom called to tell them Dawn had run off, Buffy’s first reaction was disbelief.  There was no way her kid sister could be that stupid.  Especially, so soon after Halloween.  But here she was, sauntering down the walk with Spike of all people, and Buffy had to wonder if their mom had done drugs when Dawn was in utero.

Buffy’s second, and all consuming reaction, was fear.  Spike was the one enemy she had serious doubts about defeating in a fight.  He had her fair and square at the school, and if her mom hadn’t come along there’d be another Slayer rolling into the Hellmouth right about now.  Buffy mentally rolled her eyes at that.  She wondered if she was the only Slayer in the history of ever to be saved by her mommy.  She had begged Giles not to include that little tidbit in his journal, but nooo.  It had to be recorded for prosperity and all that crap.  He was such a stickler for details.

She had also begged him not to mention how she was turned into a girly girl on Halloween, but again, no can do.  Although, Buffy had to admit the tale would have made no sense without that little detail.  How else could it be explained that she and William the Bloody were in a room together for twenty minutes and hadn’t kill each other?  But honestly, it didn’t explain why she wasn’t dead either.

The Slayer of Slayers literally had her at his mercy, and he hadn’t touched a hair on hers or her little sister’s head.  It was just…weird.  Unnatural.  Friggin’ freaky was what it was.  Buffy honestly didn’t know if she should be thanking him or staking him.  And to top it off, the only reason she escaped the trap Ford lured her into earlier this week was because she was able to use Drusilla as leverage against Spike.  She still wasn’t sure how that happened.  For a split second Spike had been distracted, looking at her like he wanted to say something.  Like, actually talk to her.  But she kept a cool head and jumped at the opportunity for escape when she saw it. 

She totally Spidermanned her way up to the mezzanine where Dru had been standing and took her hostage.  That had been a truly heart stopping moment.  When Spike turned around, the flicker of emotions across his face had been mesmerizing.  Love for his lover, fear for her life, and all encompassing hate for Buffy.  The fear and hate were to be expected.  It had been the love that had thrown her.  Soulless demons weren’t supposed to love.  But, maybe there’d never been a demon like Spike before.

Spike was one weird vampire, and it was his unpredictability that made him so dangerous.  She honestly never knew what he was going to do next. 

It was all very confusing so she settled for asking him nicely to not hurt her sister.  Except maybe she hadn’t asked as nicely as she thought, because something distinctly malignant flashed in his eyes.  He jerked Dawn in front of him, wrapping his long fingers around her tiny neck.  Dawn, the stupid brat she was, didn’t look as scared as she should be

“’Fraid I’m gonna take a bite out of Snack Size, are you?”

His tongue curled behind his teeth in a way that made Buffy feel really, really dirty, and suddenly her fear took a whole new turn down a really grody alleyway.  He must have seen it on her face or smelled it in her sweat or whatever gross thing vampires did, because his face went colder.  If that was at all possible.

“She’s twelve!  Just a little girl,” Buffy stuttered.

The look of pure disgust he shot her made her feel ashamed.  He shoved Dawn towards the light, taking a step back into the darkness.

“Damn straight, Slayer.  She’s just a girl and I like my women to be women.”  His hot gaze raked over her, his lips twisting in a way that told her, he thought she fell into the little girl category.  She couldn’t pinpoint why it infuriated her, but it did.  She hadn’t been a little girl since she got called all those months ago, and she was going to be seventeen in a few months.  That definitely put her in the woman category.

She pursed her lips, holding out her arms to capture Dawn in a hug.  She did wonder sometimes if she acted a little immaturely.  Angel seemed to think so from the time to time.  He was always hiding things from her as if he thought she wasn’t smart enough or mature enough to handle it.  She had to admit she was still learning things.  Not just school things or Slayer things, but life things.  For instance, on Halloween she learned she should never try to change herself to make others happy.  That was a life lesson her mom had been trying to drill into her for years.

“Angel said—“ She tried to defend herself, but Spike’s snarl was so loud the neighbor’s schnauzer started to bark.

“I know what that lying sod said.  Didn’t your mum warn you about miserable gits carrying tall tales?”

Buffy didn’t know what to say to that, so she redirected her attention to Dawn.  After a quick hug, she thrust her sister back by the shoulders to shake her.

“What were you thinking?  You know the rules.”

“I know.  I’m sorry.  I really am.  And Spike totally reamed me for it.”  The young girl sniffled.  Buffy shot Spike a look of pure astonishment.  Spike shuffled, lighting a cigarette so he’d have something to do with his hands.  He took a drag, and the orange wash of light made the plains and hollows of his face look demonic.  Buffy blinked, returning her attention to Dawn.

“You still haven’t told me what you were thinking.”

Dawn pulled away, crossing her arms defensively.  Her lower lip pooched out, and Buffy cringed.  Spike saw it and chortled.  Chortled!  Like a friggin’ turkey.  The bastard knew what was coming.

“They were mean to me,” she whined at decibels designed to make people’s eyeballs twitch.  Buffy’s cringe worsened.

She could hear the hurt in her baby sister’s voice, and see the remnants of tears on her face.  She had to check herself before she went ballistic.  Oh, how she wanted to march over to Kristy Fairfield’s house, and punch the little brat square in her perfect upturned nose.  What was the point of superpowers, if you couldn’t use them on those who deserved it?

This was all her fault.  People thought she was weird, and that back splashed onto Dawn.  She couldn’t help being the Slayer, and it wasn’t like she could announce it to the world. Inexplicably, burning down a school gym, for instance, gave her a less than stellar reputation.  Those inexplicable oddities were hard to hide, especially from the youth of Sunnydale.  The adults were pretty thick, but the kids could definitely smell rats.  A big, fat undead rats.  And they took it out on Dawn.

“I told you not to go.  That Kristy girl is a B.I.T.C.H.”

She stiffened when Spike’s chuckle drifted through the night, twining its way around her lower belly, and making a very uncomfortable beeline south.  She was only supposed to get those kind of tinglies around Angel.

“Tell me, Slayer.  Is it less nasty if you spell it out?  If I tell you to F.U.---“

“Shut up, Spike.”  Her gut clenched.  She hated the fact she found him even the littlest bit sexy.  In her defense it wasn’t her fault.  It was his voice.  He could make dog crap sound sexy with that accent.

He laughed, tossing his cigarette away as he turned to leave.  Suddenly, Dawn darted from her side.

“Dawn!” she screamed, snatching at thin air.  Spike spun at the sound, and Dawn launched herself at him, twining her thin arms around his middle for a quick hug.

“Thanks, Spike,” she said, scooting away before he could shake her off.  Buffy almost couldn’t stop her completely inappropriate giggle at the look of appalled outrage on his face.

“Oi, Slayer!  You gotta tell her to stop doing that!  It’s—it’s not proper, I tell you.  If she keeps going around thowin’ herself at beasties she’s gonna get eaten.”

Buffy schooled her face into an implacable mask as she looked at her sister.  “Spike’s right, Dawn.  You can’t be doing that.”

“But it’s, Spike.  He’s a total sweetie.”

“Bloody, buggering, fuck!” Drifted from the shadows, followed by an exasperated, “Women!”  Then he was gone, swallowed up by the night.  Buffy pulled Dawn close, suddenly feeling exposed.

“C’mon, Dawnie.  Lets go home.”

“Kay.”

Her sister snuggled in close as they hot-footed it home.  Buffy couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched as the walked, but whenever she looked over her shoulder all she saw was deep, dark shadows.