“I'm not sure if I'm ready,” Buffy admitted, staring at the door.
“I'll talk to her,” Spike said soothingly. “I'll ask her to go gentle on you. But m'sure she'll do that anyway. Luv, she misses you. But if you didn' wan' to see anyone right now I think she'd respect your wishes.” He knelt at her feet and threaded his fingers through hers. “Don' know if it counts for anythin', but I'll be right here, okay?”
Buffy said nothing, squeezing his hand.
When a knock on the door sounded fifteen minutes later, Spike squeezed her hand before going to answer it. Dawn stood in the doorway, peering inside. She was trembling in anticipation.
“Spike?” Dawn whispered when he didn't move out of the way.
“Bit, nothin' sudden, okay? She's still a bit shaky.”
Dawn nodded, walking slowly into the apartment when he stepped aside. Buffy stood. The teenager was trying to contain herself, wanting nothing more than to launch herself into her older sister's arms. “Buffy?”
Her big sister smiled. “Come here, Dawn.”
Dawn ran to her arms, squeezing her tight. “Oh, Buffy! I... Are you... Are you alright?” She let go and stepped back, looking over her to take her all in.
Buffy gave a watery smile. “I... I almost had to crawl my way out of my own grave, Dawn.”
“I'm so sorry,” Dawn whimpered, breaking down.
“Shh,” the eldest Summers girl whispered, carding her fingers through her hair. “Spike was patrolling. He... He found me. He got me out.”
Dawn lifted her head from her sister's shoulder to shoot a grateful look at Spike. He nodded, still a safe distance away. “Does... Does anyone else know you're back?”
The Slayer shook her head. “No. Just you and Spike. And Clem.”
“Your clothes are gone. Willow and Tara were fussing over it, I think. I don't know where they could be. Even your boots. I knew you'd feel really sore about that.”
Buffy only laughed. “It's alright, Dawn. I was thinking...” She chanced a look at Spike. “I was thinking that maybe I could stay here for a bit. I just...” She glanced down at her lap. “I need some time.” She cracked a small smile. “Guess I don't have to worry about packing.”
“I totally understand,” the teenager said enthusiastically. “I bet you really want to spend time with Margarine also. She's the cutest, Buffy! She looks like you with blue eyes! And she does this really cute thing where she hums while she eats like she's really into her food, which makes me pretty excited about Spike introducing solids to her but he said not yet 'cause she'd probably go all crazy over food that actually tastes like something!”
Buffy raised her eyebrows at the moniker her sister had given the baby. “I'm glad I'll be there for that milestone,” she admitted honestly.
“Did you wig out?” Dawn asked, her voice soft. “I mean, I know it's totally weird to be alive again and then find out you have a daughter. Spike's been really good with her. She kinda just appeared out of nowhere. He was really bugging out and even did a DNA test so he'd have evidence to throw in the gang's faces 'cause you know how quickly they are to believe anything he says...”
Buffy nodded, glancing at Spike again. He lowered his eyes. “I... Kinda knew she was around. I had these dreams about her, and you, and Spike. I didn't know they were real. I thought they were... I don't know.” She shrugged. “So it lightened the blow a lot when Spike introduced us.”
Dawn looked from her sister to Spike. “You probably have a lot of stuff to talk about.”
“Bit--” Spike cut in.
“I have a lot of homework to do. I have this crazy science project and I have to be really good about my grades or else the social worker who comes gets all narrow-eyed and writes things down that she won't show anybody. She already was totally weirded out by Willow's witchcrafty things, like the dried up plants she keeps in her room and all the demonic books she borrowed from Giles...” She glanced at Buffy beseechingly. “But I'll be over a lot. I'm already over a lot. I spend time with Margaret and Clem while Spike is sleeping during the day. I'll be back tomorrow, okay? I just don't want to drive you nuts.”
Buffy was speechless as Dawn came to hug her. She hugged Spike too before practically bounding out of the apartment. “Is she gonna be okay?”
“I think it's a bit overwhelming for everybody,” Spike said softly. “The Bit's grown up a lot, Buffy. Of course she's prone to outbursts like all teenagers are, but I think she's headin' in a good direction for the most part.” He ran a hand through his hair, a frustrated look on his face. “An' luv, we don' have to do anythin' you don' want to. Genetically, I may be Margaret's father, and now that you're here I would like to make clear that I want to stay in her life, Buffy. But we don'--”
Buffy stared at him. “You think I want to take her away from you?”
It was Spike's turn to be speechless. He stammered. “Luv, that's not--”
“Spike,” Buffy whispered. “That's the last thing I want to do.”
His mouth audibly snapped closed. He closed his eyes as they burned with tears. “Thank you.”
“I don't even know if I'm fit enough to be a mother. I don't... I can't even breastfeed. She's only five months old but I don't know one thing about her.”
“Buffy. This is the las' thing you should be worr--”
“I just know that when I'm feeling scared or lost or depressed all I want to do is hold her in my arms and stare at her. It makes me feel horrible, using my daughter as a crutch, but--”
“Buffy--”
“Spike, I--”
He came forward and pulled her into his arms. “The fact that you acknowledge her as our daughter means the world to me,” he whispered in her ear. “The fact that you acknowledge she exists means everything to me. I thought... I thought you'd deny--”
She shook her head, her face buried in his shoulder. “Spike, this is too much. Please... No more talking. Just... Please hold me?” she whispered, peering up into his face shyly.
Spike held her tighter. “Sorry. M'sorry, luv. Here I was warnin' Dawn not to overwhelm you an' s'me who's doin' it.” He stared into her face, wanting so badly to kiss her. Instead, he pulled away, not wanting to cause her anymore stress and confusion than she was no doubt already feeling.
She closed her eyes, her face crumpling. “I'm tired.”
“Let's get into bed, shall we?” Spike murmured, brushing strands of hair out of her face.
Buffy nodded, letting him lead the way to the small guest bed. They collapsed on top of it in a tight fit, but Spike wrapped an arm around her before they fell asleep almost instantaneously.
~~
“How's it goin'?”
Buffy blinked, staring at Whistler. “It's you.”
He nodded. “Yeah.” He paused. “Doing alright?”
“I don't know,” Buffy admitted. “I think the shock factor is still very much present.”
He nodded again. “I took care of a couple things. I closed the circle from the ritual so nothing else will get in. That happens sometimes. But we gotta protect the little one, ya know? Even if it means from your peers. So I took all your clothes and dumped them in Spike's crypt. They probably have your DNA all over it. That Willow gal has been acting all crazy. She used Margaret's blood for the resurrection spell.”
“Wait. Slow down,” Buffy begged.
“Can't. You're leaving your REM stage soon.”
“Wait!” Buffy called out, sitting up.
“Buffy?” Spike asked, shaking himself from sleep.
“A dream,” Buffy explained, staring into space.
“Prophetic?” he asked, sitting up himself.
“I don't know,” Buffy said with a shake of her head. She stood up to find Margaret awake in her crib, staring at them through the bars. “Willow did something to her.” She lifted her into her arms, snuggling close.
Spike shook his head, trying to comprehend all that was going on. “What?”
“That's all the dream said. It didn't feel like any of my Slayer dreams. I just... I think we should tread softly around Willow.”
He nodded, still staring at her. “Tara actually did a protection spell on Em.”
Buffy put Margaret back in the crib and covered her face in her hands. “I'm sorry.”
“Wha'?” Spike asked, baffled.
“I'm being all crazy.”
“Luv, you're not--”
“And—and my boobs hurt.”
He frowned. “I'd know if your period was coming.”
She frowned back at him, wrinkling her nose. “What?”
“Your... You smell different.”
Buffy blushed. “Oh.”
He shrugged. “Sorry.”
Inside her crib, Margaret whimpered.
“We're not ignoring you,” Buffy said consolingly, picking her up and looking into her face. She frowned before holding her closer.
Margaret opened and closed her fist.
“Right,” Buffy murmured, taking her out of the room to get her a bottle.
Spike rubbed his face with his hands.
They were silent as they put her on the floor for tummy time. Even Clem was there to spend time with her.
“She likes this book most,” Clem said helpfully, handing Buffy a board book.
Spike sat the baby up to give her a better view of her company. “Mum,” he said, touching his thumb to his chin with his fingers fanned out. He pointed to Buffy. “Tha's your mum, luv.” He took her tiny hand and touched her thumb to her own chin. “Mum.”
“Ba ba ba,” Margaret babbled.
He smiled. “Yeh. She drives me a bit bonkers, too. In a good way, though.”
“What's 'dad'?” Buffy asked, glancing at him.
He put his thumb to his forehead, making a similar sign to that of 'mom.' “An' 'uncle',” he added, putting his pointer and middle finger together like a peace sign and touching his cheek.
Buffy watched him, smiling. He looked at her curiously.
“Wha'?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. You're a good dad.”
Spike smiled. Buffy decided that she really liked it when he did that.
~~
“Hey,” Willow greeted nervously into the phone.
“Hi,” Angel replied. “Everything alright?”
Willow bit her bottom lip. “Well... I don't know.” She tried to gather her thoughts. She didn't want to reveal too much. The redhead wasn't too keen on trusting Angel still, but nevertheless he was an ally. “Things have been... weird. The ground on Buffy's grave has been upturned. And her clothes disappeared from her closet. I-I don't really know what's going on.”
Angel was silent.
“A-Angel?”
“Anything else been going on aside from that? I need more information.”
“Um, there has been total chaos here. The Buffybot got i-into a fight and got hurt and her wires were exposed. I think it gave the demons an idea of how slayerless Sunnydale really is. I-It could be that they're just playing around and terrorizing us, but I put a protection spell on Buffy's house. There's no way anyone could've gotten in. I'm just at a loss.”
Angel sighed. “I'll be there in a couple hours.”
Willow felt relief flood her. “Thanks, Angel.”
~~
Spike awoke to screaming. He bounded off the couch, entering the guest room where he found Buffy writhing in bed. Margaret was hollering, probably scared out of her mind. The vampire sat next to the sleeping Slayer and put his hands on her upper arms, hissing when she tried to claw at him. “Buffy!”
Buffy screamed again, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Buffy, wake up. S'Spike. Sweetheart, you're safe,” he murmured, gathering her into his arms.
Buffy blinked. “Wh-What time is it?” she whispered.
“Almost seven in the morning,” he replied gently. “I gotta get Margaret, luv. She's frightened.”
“I'm sorry,” Buffy whispered.
“No need,” he hushed her. He took Margaret from the crib, sitting down beside a distraught Buffy.
“I-I don't know why I keep having dreams like that,” Buffy whispered.
“Luv, if anyone woke up in their own coffin m'sure they'd react jus' the same.” He swallowed. “It was that way for me... For a while.” He stared down at Margaret who was falling asleep again. “D'you wan' me to stay here for a bit?”
Buffy nodded, bringing her legs to her chest. Spike returned Margaret to her crib before sitting down beside her. He ran his hands up and down her back, and Buffy's eyes fluttered closed as he began massaging her shoulders.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I sleep better when I'm with you or Margaret.”
“I don' have any objections to you sleeping in the crib.”
“I'm scared I'll have a nightmare in there and hurt her,” she whispered.
Spike ran his fingers through her hair. “Luv, this won' be forever. M'sorry s'so miserable. Lie down now. I'll stay with you if you're so worried about hurting our girl. C'mon.”
Buffy straightened and scooted over as much as she could in the small twin sized bed. She rested her head on Spike's chest, closing her eyes.
Later in the day, Clem sat down next to Buffy at the dining room table.
“Hey,” he said gently.
She smiled at him. “Hi.”
“You know, I don't mind switching beds with you two.”
“C-Clem--”
“Buffy. You sleep better. And it'd benefit Margaret. She'll sleep better, too, and she'll see her parents in the same room often. I think that's good for her. I even used to sleep on the floor when she was younger in the guest room.”
Buffy's eyes watered. “Clem...”
“Aw, now don't get all emotional on me. I eat emotion, you know, and with Margaret's normal dose of distress about being hungry or whining during tummy time, I'm getting really full and I've been gaining a little weight, you know?”
Buffy stared. “You eat my baby's emotions?”
Clem laughed nervously. “Slayer, it's not like that. When people show negative emotion like embarrassment or sadness, they emit a lot of energy. You know that tension in the room when something's awkward or uncomfortable? Well, I eat it.”
Buffy found herself laughing also. “My life's gotten so strange.”
He smiled. “So you'll take the bed?”
~~
Angel frowned, watching Spike dust a vampire squirming out of its own grave. The bleach blond whirled around, glaring at him. If looks were spikes...
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Spike barked.
“Willow called me.” Angel sniffed, coming closer. “You smell...”
“Get yer nose out o'my business,” Spike growled, throwing a punch at his grandsire.
“Why do I smell her all over you?” he hollered, catching his fist and squeezing. He broke Spike's hand easily. “Willow called me worried sick. She said all of Buffy's clothes are gone and someone had disturbed her grave. What the fuck are you up to, Spike?”
Spike howled, using his uninjured hand to box Angel in the head. “What I want to know is what the fuck you're up to. Willow called you in despair, yes, but you don' usually cater to or associate with Buffy's friends, do you?”
“She said that they needed help.”
“Yeh, maybe to lower the demon population while she focuses on fixin' one of 'er blasted mistakes!”
Angel stared at him. “What are you going on about?”
Spike stepped closer into the older vampire's personal space. “Take a good, long whiff. Wha' is it exactly that you think you smell?”
“If you've been fucking a decomposing corpse--”
The bleach blond swung at his face. “BUFFY'S ALIVE, YOU STUPID GIT! Pulled from fuckin' heaven because of Willow's meddlin' ways! Maybe she's stayin' with me because she's got nowhere else to turn! You think she'd trust 'er friends after what they've done? Because surely if she must turn to me her trust in her so-called friends has severely dwindled, don' you think?”
He spat borrowed blood on the ground. “Where is she?” Angel demanded.
“Safe,” Spike growled. “What'd she tell you?”
Angel deflated. “About the grave, and the clothes, and the bot.”
“You don' know the half of it,” Spike told him, lowering his fists. “And come to think of it, neither do I.”
“Where is she?” Angel asked. “Where's Willow?”
“Stayin' at the Slayer's.”
“And Giles?”
“Still at his flat,” Spike replied.
Angel nodded. “We go there first.” He glared at him. “And then you'll take me to see Buffy.”
Spike rolled his eyes, following after the larger vampire. “Yes, granddaddy, your wish is my command,” he sniped.
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