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The soles of her shoes pounded out a steady beat on the treadmill as Buffy tried to shake off the debacle between Spike and Parker at school. Mile two. She was going to have to stop by Spike’s place after her workout to remind him about their agreement and how he wasn’t supposed to approach her at school. Spike getting all territorial wasn’t a good look for either of them. Working out was her current form of procrastination.

A few weeks ago her dad had invited Parker Abrham’s family over for dinner. During the meal her dad had made it overwhelmingly apparent that he wanted her to get with Parker. Buffy was experienced when it came to rejecting the advances of the guys her dad forced upon her.

Hank Summers was an old fashioned fool and loved to play match maker. He believed that it was in his daughter’s best interest to find a man from a family of good means and get her married as soon as legally possibly. If the match happened to put him in better financial or social standing, so much the better.

Buffy had never had much of a problem with his matches before. If she voiced her disproval loudly enough, her dad typically moved on to the next suitor. But Parker was different. They went to school together; he was well liked, and popular. Any girl in her class would have jumped at the chance to date him.

Unable to find any believable reason to say no, she agreed to one date. She thought about telling Spike but didn’t want to have to deal with the way he’d get all grumpy and mopey; it wasn’t like she was really dating Parker, after all. She’d use Parker as a smoke screen for a couple of dates. It’d get her dad off her back and it would deflect the unwanted attention she’d receive if she were to tell him no.

In hindsight she should have just declined his offer and dealt with the fallout. Parker Abrhams didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Two days after she told him that she didn’t think it was working out she found him in her father’s study. He was talking with her father about politics and golf like a world class suck up. When she knocked the men stood. She was startled when Parker came to greet her with a kiss on the cheek and a smile.

Her father, beaming at the gorgeous couple they made, insisted that Parker attend a charity gala with them that weekend.

“Oh! Dad, didn’t Parker tell you he has plans this weekend?” she asked, fake smile plastered to her face, elbow in Parker’s ribs.

“Thank you Mr. Summers for the extraordinarily generous offer. Sweetheart, I believe you’re thinking of next weekend. I’d love to accompany you to the gala.” Parker grinned a snake oil salesman’s smile and she knew that getting rid of him wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d planned.

Buffy’s relationship with her father was complicated. When he wasn’t trying to arrange her marriage they got along famously. She’d always been a daddy’s girl; he’d been her closest confidant and friend. They’d talk business, politics, religion and he’d always crow his praise of her to anyone who’d listen. Buffy was his favorite which drove her younger sister, Dawn, crazy.

There was always an underlying layer of competition between any two sisters. But between Buffy and Dawn Summers there was no competition when it came to their daddy’s heart. Buffy had won it, fair or not, the moment she was born. The fact that she was practically Hank Summers carbon copy and Dawn favored their mother only made things worse.

The summer before Freshman year, during a family vacation to Cabo, her invincible dad became human right before her eyes. They were having lunch, just the two of them, when he fell out of his chair moaning and clutching at his chest. It was the most terrifying moment of Buffy’s life. After getting help and arriving at the hospital they were told that Hank Summers had suffered a heart attack.

Things changed between them after that. Buffy distanced herself from him. He was no longer her late night companion, staying up to eat junk food, and watch scary movies. They needed to concentrate on Hank’s health and a late-night lifestyle wasn’t part of the picture.

Her dad’s healthier life style choices weren’t the only reason for Buffy’s increased distance from her father. Following Hank’s heart attack, there was an all encompassing fear that took hold of Buffy’s gut and never really let go. She lost the ability to speak frankly with him, joke, and mess around. What if she trigged his sickness? What if she was the cause of his stress and grief?

The realization that she could have lost one of the most precious people in her life manifested itself in her desire to please her daddy at any cost. Buffy was determined to do anything to make him happy, even if that meant carrying on a fake relationship with Parker Abrhams.

She didn’t need to disclose the thing with Parker to Spike because it wasn’t a real relationship. She didn’t want to listen to him go on and on about how she needed to stand up to her father; Spike didn’t know the whole story. She didn’t feel like sharing either.

After the spectacle at school she knew there was no way around it. She was going to have to tell Spike about her relationship with Parker. She just hoped he didn’t blow a gasket when she told him. He wasn’t likely to forgive her trespass of their agreement easily. Spike hated Parker, which made matters so much worse.

She used the towel hanging around her neck to wipe the sweat off her face. Mile three, she kept going. She wasn’t ready for a confrontation with him. Their relationship was so massively screwed up. She was only 18. Life wasn’t supposed to be this hard yet.

Things with Spike had never been easy though. They’d been a mess from the start.

Tuesday morning, the day after the first time they’d been together, Spike was already sitting in his desk when she strode into homeroom. They didn’t make eye contact; they didn’t speak. Even though it was exactly what she said she wanted, his lack of acknowledgement made her feel stupid. He should have at least had the decency to smile in her direction so that she could give him the cold shoulder.

Buffy had chosen a desk adjacent to his so she’d be less likely to stare at him during class. He was talking animatedly to Declan Bell, gesturing wildly with his hands while Declan clutched his sides and guffawed. She shifted to the right and started a conversation with Willow Rosenberg, determinedly putting Spike out of her thoughts.

As the day dragged on, Buffy became more aggravated. Spike normally spent his lunch hour in the library but today he decided to eat in the cafeteria. Natually, out of all the tables he chose to sit at Faith Lehane’s and just to ice that cake he had Faith perched on his lap.

Buffy wondered where a teacher was when you needed one because lap sitting was so not allowed in the cafeteria. He was obviously doing it to piss her off. Everyone knew that Faith and Buffy didn’t get along.

There was a party freshman year that Buffy wasn’t allowed to attend because there wasn’t going to be adult supervision. Faiths mom apparently didn’t care about adult supervision because she was allowed to go.

During a rousing game of truth or dare Faith dared Buffy’s boyfriend to kiss her, so they went into a closet… for a half and hour. Or at least that’s what Cordelia told her later that night after the party was over.

Buffy didn’t want to believe it. Angel was the love of her prepubescent life, he wouldn’t cheat! But alas, Faith let him round second base, and all Buffy ever let him do was hold her hand. Suffice to say, Buffy’s relationship with Angel “he could’ve be the one” O’Connor ended in a dramatic AIM chat where he begged her forgiveness and Buffy cried real tears as she typed an angst filled response, spouting fourteen year old nonsense, about how it only hurt when she breathed.

She was a total drama queen freshman year.

Buffy’s previous non-existent relationship with Faith became existent in the worst way. The Superman vs. Lex Luthor way; if Lex Luthor was a troll who liked to make out with Supermans ex-boyfriends.

So seeing Faith throw her head back and laugh at something Spike just whispered in her ear was the worst kind of torture a girl could endure at lunch hour in the cafeteria.

“Do you ever flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re like; ‘This is it. This is how it ends’?” Harmony asked Buffy. The girls all nodded sympathetically at the table.

Buffy leaned over to whisper in Willows ear. “Hey Will, I need to get some air. I’m gonna go sit outside for a bit, kay?”

“Uh, sure Buffy. Do you want me to come with?” Willow had that glint in her eye that said, ‘Please don’t make me.’

“Nah,” Buffy smiled. “I just need to clear my head; I’ll see you in P.E.” She swung her backpack over her shoulder, picked up her lunch tray, and emptied it into a nearby trash can.

Buffy pushed through the cafeteria doors. Several students were scattered around, eating lunch on the grass in the quad. Buffy made her way to one of the bigger trees and sat down underneath it. The shade was a welcome relief from the California sun which was a a blazing 90 degrees even in December.

Winter? What was that?

Winter formal was coming up, Riley Finn had asked her to go with him but she told him she wasn’t sure about her plans yet. She really needed to get back to him. It wasn’t fair to keep him in suspense.

She idly shredded blades of grass and leaned her head back against the tree. She was supposed to go to Newport with Cordelia and the girls this weekend but she wasn’t really feeling up to it. Not after yesterday. She was liable to spill her guts all over Cordy’s Jimmy Choos. She’d be excommunicated then for sure.

She wondered what Spike was doing this weekend. Probably something that involved some kind of debauchery: drinking or stealing or parties. She smiled. Or he might just be reading. He was such a closet nerd. His room burst at the seams with books. He had them stacked in every corner and on every surface. Maybe she could get him a bookshelf, help him organize a bit.

She gasped. Get him a book shelf? Help him clean his room? Something was seriously wrong with her. How did he keep sneaking into her thoughts after she barred him from them? Yesterday was a mistake, a fluke, a complete monumental lapse in judgment. She’d been confused, his mom was sick, and he kissed her first.

There were dozens of reasons to not like Spike. He was dirty. His fashion sense was deplorable. He lived in a trashy little tin can in the ghetto. He smelled like cigarettes. He actually liked school, and he was a complete a-hole. So why, dear God, did she want to be with him again?

Because she was a glutton for punishment, that’s why.

She heard something hit the ground on the other side of the tree and then sigh as someone presumably copped a squat. “So, are you gonna be my girl?”

She rolled her eyes and tried to stop the thousand watt smile that his stupid British voice inspired. “Where’s Faith? I thought you two were attached at the pelvis?”

“Buffy Summers, are you jealous?”

She didn’t even have to see his face; she could hear the stupid grin in his voice.

She scoffed. “As if! I just thought someone should tell you to burn those jeans. Faith totally has VD. Removing them before you light them on fire is completely optional.”

He laughed. “Ouch. What’s it with you and her anyway?”

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m just a concerned citizen looking out for my fellow man, but if you ever hook up with her, I’ll never speak to you again.” She meant it to sound like it joke, but it came out more like a threat. Oh well.

She heard a rustling sound and looked to her right to see him scoot around to her side of the tree. He placed a hand over his heart, looked her in the eye, and serious as a heart attack said, “This tree as my witness, I will never hookup with Faith. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”

She bristled. “You didn’t hurt my feelings! Why would you say that?”

He sighed. “Look Buffy, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“I don’t know. Can you?”

He shifted and lowered his voice. “Yesterday, uh,” he cleared his throat. “We didn’t use a condom… do you-”

“Oh! Geeze Spike! You’re such a freak. I’ve been on the pill since middle school, gosh!”

He visibly relaxed.

“So that’s it? You just followed me out here to make sure your ass was covered?” She didn’t know why his question upset her so, but her stomach had a sinking feeling that she really didn’t like. She grabbed her backpack and stood.

Spike grabbed her hand and pulled her back down to the ground beside him. “Just wait a second, you loony bird! I think you’re gorgeous and funny and very smart. You’re kinda a bitch too, which makes things rather interesting.” Seeing that she was about to interrupt he pressed a finger to her lips. “Let me finish,” he said, “please.”

She nodded.

“Yesterday was about the biggest shock of my life. When you came over, when you kissed me back, when we…” She marveled at his face as his cheeks reddened, well go figure. Spike Pratt was blushing over sex.

He cleared his throat and pulled at the collar of his black t-shirt. “Then you left and I didn’t know what to make of it. I felt like you wanted space so I gave you space. I pulled a dick move in the cafeteria with Faith. I just wanted to get some kind of reaction out of you. I’m sorry for that.” He actually looked contrite and she felt like he was sincere.

“Listen, you have to understand. What happened yesterday can never happen again. It was wrong.” She watched him deflate.

He looked down and nodded. “Yeah.”

“You’re not the kind of guy a girl like me dates. It just doesn’t make sense.”

His head snapped up, “So, let’s not date.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s just keep it between us. You have to admit Buffy, you liked what we did yesterday. I bet you’ve never had it so good.”

She snorted, “You’re awfully sure of yourself there Sparky.” Act cool. He doesn’t know that you were a virgin. Act cool.

He grinned, “Go ahead, turn me down, but I’m in your system now, Summers. You’re going to crave me like I crave nicotine. Mark my words you’ll be back. You felt something last night.”

“Yeah, revulsion.”

“Buffy!” Cordelia’s loud voice rang out through the quad. Buffy and Spike both jumped up like two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “Where the hell are you?”

“Leave now,” Buffy whispered harshly. She gave Spike a shove back toward the other side of the tree.

“S’a free country. I can stand where I want.” Spike stayed put and weathered Buffy’s death glare.

The bell rang and suddenly it wasn’t just Cordelia she had to worry about but the entire student body as everyone began to slowly make their way to their next class. Buffy glanced over her shoulder to see Cordelia and a group of girls coming toward them. Buffy panicked, knowing they’d already seen her with the bleached freak.

”You’re a pig, Spike,” Buffy shouted. Panic apparently made her a little violent because before she knew it, her fist was on collision course with Spike’s nose.

“Bloody hell! What was that for?” Spike clutched his nose and Buffy winced. Everyone in the quad stopped what they were doing and all turned to stare.

“Buffy! Was this baboon harassing you? Are you alright?” Cordelia was upon them, as regal as ever in her Dolce & Gabbana red cordonetto lace dress.

“Is she alright? I’m the one who got punched in the nose!” Spike exclaimed.

“Buffy! Are you okay? Is this guy bothering you?” Riley Finn called as he jogged over.

Buffy smoothed down the front of her top and took a deep breath. No, she wasn’t okay. Her hand hurt like a mother and Spike probably thought she was a psycho for hitting him for no reason. “I’m fine everyone!” She held her arms up in a ‘see?’ gesture. “I’m fine. Let’s go.”

She tucked her arm in Cordy’s and silently listened as Cordy and her friends bad-mouthed Spike all the way to their next class.

~*~

Mile six. Buffy slowed the treadmill to a jog and then a walk, as she went through her cool down. After a moment, she hopped off the track and took a swig from her water bottle. It was time to hit the showers and head over to Spike’s. She was going to let him know that yes, she was seeing Parker, but that it wouldn’t interfere with…well, with whatever she and Spike had.





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