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Chapter 4

She lay on her bed where Spike and Angel had brought her after her headache had knocked her out. She opened her eyes and looked around noticing that a vampire stood on either side of her. Something bad must have happened if they were in the same room and not at each other’s throats.

“Wh-what happened?” She tried to sit up but felt a rush of pain move from her spine to her head. She let out a small yelp and lay back down.

“Be careful, love.” Spike took her hand in his and looked at her with sadness in his eyes.

“Buffy, earlier at the cemetery, you screamed and grabbed your head then you blacked out.” Angel’s eyes didn’t fail to notice the way the couple held hands.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Buffy tried to make light of the incident as she wriggled her hand out of Spike’s grasp, and ignored his frown. “I bet I’m just getting the flu or something. Spike?”

“Yeah, pet?”

“I’m really thirsty, do you think you could find me some ginger ale or something to settle my stomach?”
He looked over from her to Angel, then back to her and he was sure he caught something between them. He was not sure what, but there was something there. Without thinking, he emitted a growl from deep down. Buffy took hold of his hand and said,

“Hey, look at me.” She could see the hate and jealousy in his eyes. “I really would like you to get me a drink. Nothing’s going to happen while you are gone. I promise. I know where I belong, remember?” She placed her hand over the scar on her neck to make him understand.
Spike smiled down at her, memories of the way she’d given herself to him wholly the night before playing in his head. She loved him. She hadn’t admitted as much yet, but he could see it in her smile, her eyes and in the way she trusted him enough to drink from her. Angel had no chance.

“Okay, pet, I’ll go.” He looked at Angel and growled. “If you so much as lay a hand on her, you’re dust!”
With that, Spike turned around so dramatically that his duster jacket flew up in the air as he slammed the door shut behind him.

“Always had a flair for the dramatic,” Angel stated as the door shut.

She just smiled at him, her eyes twinkling and it upset him that that twinkle was no longer for him. “You love him don’t you?”

She looked down at her lap and began toying with her hair, continuously placing the same strand behind her ear.

“You can be honest with me, Buffy. That’s something I hope will never change between us.”

“He’s so different now. He has been ever since I came back.” She didn’t want to tell him because she didn’t want to lose him.

“You’re bonded.” His eyes landed on her neck. Her hand went to it instinctively. “We can sense it. All vampires can. They won’t touch you because you belong to him, in a way I’m glad he did it. It means you’ll be safer. I still hate him for it.”

Buffy had stopped listening. She stared into space, her eyes unfocused.

“Buffy, Buffy!” He waved his hand in front of her but she continued in her trance.

Suddenly she gasped for air as if she hadn’t been breathing. She grabbed his hand which remained in front of her face, turned her head and frowned. “What just happened?”

“You don’t know?”

“No. I feel like I spaced out for a minute.”

“This isn’t just the flu is it?” He looked at her, his eyes full of concern.
Buffy shook her head as she looked him in the eyes and let go of his hand.

“What?” he asked.

“I have a tumor,” she whispered as she struggled to hold back the tears.

“A tu- but you’re the Slayer.”

“I know. Vampires, demons, the occasional flu, those things get me down. Not this.”

“Is it-?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m having it removed tomorrow morning. Simple surgery. It’s right above my neck. They’ll take it out, test it, then tell me if-“

“You’re the Slayer.”

“I know! I must be more human than Slayer, or maybe I came back wrong. Angel I can’t- I can’t.” She stopped and took a deep breath to control her anger.

“Who knows? Spike?”

“No, no one. Me.”

“You’re doing this alone? Why?”

“They don’t need this. Not after my mother- I don’t even know if this is bad yet. No reason to worry them. Especially Dawn. God, Angel, she’s been through so much.”

“I’ll go with you. I’ll go through this with you.”
She shook her head, unable to speak.

“What time tomorrow?”

“If Spike finds out--”

“Nothing. You can’t do this alone and you won’t tell anyone, not even him so I’ll be there for you.”
She thought of Spike and her tears ran free. “If something happens-”

“Buffy-“

“If something happens I want him to take care of her. She’ll stay with Willow, but I want him to take care of her.”

“Dawn,” he said.

“Promise me you’ll make sure he takes care of her. Please?” She was having trouble speaking through her tears.

He leant toward her and removed the wet strands of hair from her face. “You can cry. I won’t tell and I promise she’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.”
She smiled at him; it was the smile she used to give him. His heart split in half knowing that this was Spike’s smile now and he was just borrowing it. They heard Spike’s bounding footsteps and Buffy quickly let go of Angel’s hand and dried her face off. Angel gave her a tissue and walked to the door in order to stall Spike. When the other vampire opened the door he was greeted by Angel’s looming form blocking the doorway.

“Still here I see. Why don’t you run along home now and let my Slayer get her rest?”

Not wanting to cause Buffy any more stress, Angel ignored Spike’s comment and turned to look at her. Giving her a smile when he saw that she had managed to compose herself he said,

“I hope you feel better Buffy. I’ll be around early tomorrow if you need anything.”

She smiled at him catching on to his hint. “Thanks, Angel.” She held up five fingers and mouthed the word ‘five’ to let him know what time she’d be at the hospital.
He nodded his head and walked out the door without a single word to Spike. She sighed and laid her head back on the pillow as she watched him leave.

“How’s my strong little slayer doing?” Spike asked.
She looked up at him and gave him a meek smile. “Not great. I need a big strong vampire to come hold me and nurse me back to health.”

“I can do that.” He took off his duster then sat on the bed and removed his boots. He pulled the blankets off the bed and began to settle down next to her when she stopped him.

“Naked.” She smiled at his look of surprise.

“You’re sick, pet. Think you should just rest tonight.”

“Shirtless?”

“How about just my underpants?”

She smiled and nodded watching intently as he unbuttoned his shirt and removed his pants. “Mmm, yummy.”
When he was done he lay next to her in bed, lifting his arm and allowing her to cuddle on his chest. He smiled as he thought of the suffering Angel must be going through knowing that she was sleeping in his arms every night. Buffy sighed deeply on his chest and glanced over at the alarm clock. The sun would be up soon and in just a few hours she’d have to get up and face reality. But for now she could rest in his arms in peace.





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