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This is it guys! Thanks so much for sticking around. I hope you enjoyed it.
Chapter 10

She walked out of the mansion and closed her eyes taking a deep breath to calm her emotions and concentrate on her senses. She felt his pain in her heart again, that same tightness that had overwhelmed her just moments before. Buffy shook her head and tried to wipe the memory of she and Angel lying on the floor in front of the fireplace from her mind. She was overwhelmed by guilt but she quickly dispelled it and went back to concentrating on her connection to Spike. She felt his loneliness, his sadness.
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Spike couldn’t live without her. Without Buffy there would be no purpose to his life. She made him want to be a better man, a living man. If she was no longer with him he would become a monster again, and that was something he no longer wanted to be. He was convinced now that she had made her choice; Angel was the man for her, she’d just been using him to get over her pain. He’d seen their connection in the hospital and it angered him that she had chosen him to confide in, but then she’d always loved him. He knew there was no competing with first love. There was nothing left for him to do; he couldn't fight for her anymore, he wouldn't do it.

Spike was a dangerous animal and falling in love with Buffy hadn't changed that. He was still a soulless monster that if found cornered would fight back no questions asked. This was especially true now that he had lost his only hope to become more man than monster.
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Buffy found herself so consumed by his emotions that she had to reach out in order to find a place to sit and get a hold of herself. She didn't want to open her eyes again for fear of losing her connection to him. She was determined to find out where he was.
No matter how hard she tried she couldn't figure out where he was. She could only feel his emotions. Just as she was about to give up hope and open her eyes she felt as though she were touching a cold, hard stone. Her eyes shot open, she stood up and marched away to find her lover.

She found him in the cemetery staring at what had been her gravestone. He was quiet, deep in thought, one hand on the top of the stone, his eyes downcast looking at the ground where her body had once laid. Fighting the shiver that ran through her at the site of her own grave, she quietly walked over to stand next to him.

“We really should get rid of this,” she told him.

He turned to look at her. “Buffy,” it was barely a whisper.

Looking into his eyes for the first time she was floored by the agony she found in them. It took all that she had in her not to take him in her arms. She knew that if she tried he would fight her off. It wasn’t only agony that he was feeling; there was also anger, a lot of it. Spike felt she had betrayed him and she knew that she had.

“Came here every day after you…” He still couldn’t say it. The pain of it was still fresh in his heart even after all this time. “I loved you even then. I thought I’d lost you and I didn’t know how I would live without you.”

She tried to take his hand but he pulled it away when he felt it brush against his own.

“Then you came back. You shouldn’t have, but you did, and we found our way didn’t we Buffy? We found our way to each other.”

She nodded at him, her eyes full of tears she refused to let go. He wouldn’t want to see her remorse right now, this wasn’t about her. If he saw her cry he’d forget about his anger. She’d been wrong in what she did with Angel and he deserved to let her know how he felt.

“I can smell him on you,” he snorted angrily, “all over you.”

She looked at him, let him know she was listening but she had to look down. The anger in his eyes was enough to burn her alive. He wouldn’t have it, he placed his hand under her chin and made her look at him.

“Why?”

Again she struggled against her tears. She had been so wrong to have hurt him like this. “I was stupid.”
He took his hand away and let out a sarcastic laugh as he turned away from her.

“Spike!” she called out, desperation filling her heart. She grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around.

“I was scared and confused, I thought I was going to die and-“

“And you couldn’t talk to me, couldn’t trust me. I wasn’t enough.”

“I didn’t want to worry you when there was no reason to worry yet.”

He laughed that awful sarcastic laugh again. “Didn’t want to hurt me. I’m afraid it all blew up in your face, didn’t it pet?”

“Spike-“

“You came back. You came back and I had a reason for being here. When you came back to me I stopped feeling like the monster I am.”

Her tears broke free. She couldn’t fight them anymore and she shook her head as she said,

“You’re not a monster, Spike.”

She took his hand and placed it over her heart so that he could feel it beating. “For you,” she whispered.
He cocked his head to the side and looked at her.

“It beats for you.” She gave him a small smile.

“Buffy,” he wanted her to stop talking because he needed to stay angry at her and she was beginning to melt his dead heart.

“How could a monster make my heart beat only for him? I did a horrible thing. Selfish and heartless but in doing it I realized something – you are my reason for living.”

He wiped her tears away as his trailed down his cheeks.
“You brought me back from hell. The hell I was in when they pulled me back here. You listened to my despair and held my hand through my nightmares.” She placed her hand on her neck and whispered, “You made me yours.”

“What about Angel? You can’t go running to him whenever you can’t talk to me about something.” He wouldn’t give into her, not this time; he wouldn’t be love’s bitch anymore.

“Angel’s gone. He’s in L.A. where he belongs. Spike, this thing between you and he and I, it made me realize that you’re the one. I’m sorry for how I behaved, for what I did, but in a way it was Angel who led me back to you.”

Spike scoffed but placed his hand over hers. She saw that his anger had lessened and she could see his love for her again.

“I love you, Spike. I’m yours.”

He choked out her name and pulled her to him his lips gently grazing hers and she wrapped her arms around him but when her kisses became deeper and hungrier he had to pull away.

“I love you, Buffy Summers. What I feel for you is more than love, I live for you, you are everything to me and…”

She pulled herself back into him and wrapped her arms around his neck and whispering, “I’m yours.” into his ear.

He moaned, all of his resolve now broken. “You’ll be the end of me.”

She smiled at him and said, “Let’s go home to bed.”

“One thing first, Buffy.” She cringed at his use of her name, she thought it was going to be okay between them.

“Are you okay? I mean, will this be our last?”
She placed her finger over his mouth. “I’m okay Spike, cancer free. We have a very long time ahead of us.”
He nodded and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Let’s go home to bed then. Oh, and Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time I’ll kill him. He tries to lay one hand on you while you’re down and I’ll personally make sure he’s dust.”

“You are such a romantic.” She laid her head on his shoulder, a huge smile on her face as they walked arm in arm away from the cemetery and toward their home.
They were so wrapped up in each other that they missed the dark figure standing behind a tombstone behind them. “Soon,” it whispered. “very soon, slayer…”





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