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The following day Buffy awoke as the sun was setting. With a groan she sat up, glancing at the gold light streaming through her window. She'd forgotten to pull the curtains last night.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and let her toes touch the cold floor. Standing, she checked herself in the mirror and squinted at her messy blonde hair. She looked like something that the cat dragged in. There were circles under her eyes, yet she'd slept for hours. Her schedule was off, was that really the cause for such exhaustion?

Somehow, she didn't think so. Walking to the bathroom, her nose ran and she coughed. The virus was leaving, but putting up a protest on its way.

Buffy brushed her teeth for the first time in two days and splashed her face with cold water. Answers and questions from last night (and this early morning) sprung into her mind, talking, listing themselves like events on a business calendar. She closed her eyes tight. Her head began to feel heavy all over again.

Letting out a loud sigh, Buffy believed there had to be a way to fix this. Nothing she read had given her a way out, but there must be one.

She didn't want to be a mate to a vampire. She didn't want to be tied, eternally, to another being, especially one that wasn't human. She didn't want to be turned immortal for him either. She didn't even know the man, certainly didn't love him. All she knew was what he looked like. That, and the fact he was a monster.

More than just a monster. He was a cruel, evil, heartless thing. There had been more than just facts on "mating" researched last night. Buffy read about the monsters that took part in it, them and their habits.

Vampires didn't have souls. They liked to hurt people in every way possible. They fed off of them, killed them for sport as well as for food. They reveled in bloodshed, loved to torture... They were purely inhuman.

*But hadn't he said something about the humanity in him? Hadn't he mentioned it recognizing her? Or something?*

She shook her head. Why was a vampire, that breed of creature, one that mated for life? Sure it was a rare occurrence, but they were still built to find their "other halves," which seemed so unfit for animals like them.

Buffy pressed a hand to her aching forehead. She couldn't be connected to something like him, something so... wrong.

Resting her palms on the edge of the sink, she stared at her reflection. How would she look in ten years? Buffy wanted to know. She'd always wanted... Well, truthfully she didn't know what she wanted.

All her life, she'd expected to find happiness in the common living of a family and husband, in love and in friendship. Buffy was twenty-seven, she didn't feel like her biological clock was ticking, and never had. She was still young, and had plenty of time to find "the one" and then have a family.

She loved her job, true. It took up most of her time. But Buffy had friends, she'd had boyfriends. She lived her life and she was content. Usually, people who wanted the life she herself always suspected she'd have, stressed about getting it.

Women worried they'd run out of eggs before they found a husband to father their children, men worried about staying attractive long enough to find a wife after they were done sowing their testosterone-y wild oats. People wanted careers before they bought houses, people wanted two kids before buying a family pet. It was all generic, and set to a generally accepted schedule. First the wedding, then the babies, then the retirement, and in between a whole lot of normalcy and sex and more normalcy, adorned with money problems and hoping you'd never file for a divorce.

Buffy stared at herself. She outlined her green-hazel eyes in her mind, imagined them on a young girl or boy. She imagined herself being held around the waist by a husband's arms, or holding a baby.

She frowned and looked hard at the glass that reflected confusion, straight at her, like an obvious reveal of some sort. Her mother had always wanted her to be happy, and Buffy always expected that finding a man she loved and then perhaps having kids would bring that to her. But she never knew why she believed it.

In truth, she'd gone to college to please her mother, not because she wanted to. She ended up getting a job she loved, but it had never been her goal until she'd found it.

She enjoyed certain things, small things, and it wasn't a long list. She honestly liked going to work on Monday mornings, more than she liked daydreaming about having children someday. Hell, the last time she'd been on a date was over a year ago. Though the man had been attractive and nice, he hadn't made her heart race, or even skip a beat. Buffy refused to settle for anybody whose name was so easily forgotten.

So why did she feel like her half-planned, half-assumed future, might be setting her up for just that?

She pushed away from the washbasin and went downstairs, entering the kitchen on pounding feet. She poured a glass of water for herself and drank five big gulps, then threw open one of the windows above the sink and took a deep breath.

The air smelled of rain, though it hadn't stormed last night. That meant it probably would soon. And the dirt would turn to mud and the flowers would lose some petals, only to grow fresher, brighter ones in a week or so. The sun would dim, but tomorrow morning it would shine over a misty town.

Those were the types of things Buffy enjoyed. Going to work, the weather changes, the sunshine, a quiet house, loving friends, dancing and laughter.

She wouldn't settle for anyone else's ideals.

Buffy refused to accept others' perceptions as true, and disregard her own and what they may turn out to be. Perhaps... she didn't want what everyone else did, maybe she never had.

That being said, she would not search for it.

She would also not lay down her unknown desires just to take a chance on a monster, not when that chance could be permanent if she made a wrong choice.

He may be ready to put up a fight, but it would have to be one hell of a fight for her to consider the insanity he'd explained to her last night. She didn't want to have the casual life, but she didn't know if immortality sounded all that good either, or being linked to a complete stranger.

Buffy didn't know what her future would look like. All she knew was that her stalker was offering her something, and she would have to figure out exactly what that something was, whether she wanted it or not.

Then, try to understand why a part of her was so curious about such a mystifying future to begin with.

***

She didn't realize fights included chicken soup.

He arrived at midnight, and in his hand he held a bag from the local grocery mart. Buffy walked out onto the back deck before she could be thralled to do so.

Yes, she'd figured that out. Mind control was no fair way to get a lady outside if you asked her. And neither was chicken soup.

"What is that?" Buffy pointed at the plastic bag he carried.

The monster smiled, all Prince Charming in leather. "Never said whether or not you were feeling better last night, so I brought-"

"I'm feeling much better." Her callous tone was followed by a cough.

The man rose an eyebrow and handed the bag off to her. "Bet you've been blowing your nose a bit, too, eh love?"

"No," she grumbled, arms crossing. "Why should I take that?" She nodded at the bag.

"'Cause you're sick. I heard chicken soup helps with that."

"Heard? What, you've never been sick?"

He quieted, then sighed. "Not for over a hundred years, no."

Buffy's eyes blinked wide before she told herself to breathe, and took the bag from his outstretched hand. "I won't eat it." She knew she was being a bitch; that was the plan.

He rolled his eyes. "Should've figured as much."

"You could have poisoned it or something, don't look at me like I'm being difficult," she argued.

"No, perish the very thought," he said dryly. Then, before she could snap at him, "If I ever tried to poison you, love, I'd be driving a stake through my own chest not long after." His brows came together and his head tilted downward a little as he made eye contact again. "Suppose you read about any of that yet?"

Buffy ignored the hope present in his voice and blinked several times. "No."

He frowned, and she sighed very deeply before saying, "Okay, yes."

He smiled suddenly. "You read about vamps?"

She scowled at him and drew back a little. "Don't get all happy over it. I was just curious... about those weird bumps on your face."

He suddenly changed for her, into a monster, his fangs popping out and his eyes turning yellow. He stepped closer, a plastic grocery bag the only thing between woman and vampire. "The bumpies frighten you, pet?"

Realizing she was staring at a demon, Buffy gulped. "No. They don't." Really surprising part? She wasn't lying, or playing with bravado.

He didn't reply for a moment or two. Instead, he stayed and watched her eyes glitter, but she couldn't possibly know that. She only knew he was hypnotized, seemingly, by her face. Buffy honestly thought he might be trying to read her mind.

"Can you really turn into a bat?"

The abrupt question broke his reverie. He shook his head. "No. Though with the right tricks I could."

"Tricks?"

"Magick. The real kind, not that rot with Harry Potthead and whatnot. I don't like to bother with the stuff, it's..." he smirked a bit, "tricky."

Buffy bit back a little laugh, and focused instead on the shockers being revealed to her, not the quips in between. "Magick is..."

He smirked more openly, grinning wide at her surprise, his white teeth bright and gleaming. "Real."

Buffy shook her head and turned around, closing her eyes and blinking hard on her way to the door. She walked into the kitchen and her monster followed, pausing at the entrance while she went to the island.

"Uh... Pet?"

Buffy set the bag of soup on the countertop and spun to face him. "What?" she sighed, and raised her arms only to drop them again at her sides. She suddenly remembered calling him a monster in her head not ten seconds ago, and her spine stiffened, because she'd called him her monster.

What the hell was going on with her?!

He leaned against the doorway, arms crossed and an unsettled look on his face. "Are we..." She stared. "You done speaking to me for now?" He rose both eyebrows.

She didn't answer. There was a funny feeling in her chest, like it was filled with cotton. She swallowed and took a breath. "Yeah. I'm done."

She went to close the door but he protested. "Wait..." he narrowed his eyes as a thundercloud started to roll over his expression, "You meant that."

"Yeah," Buffy said stiffly, not hiding her exhaustion. The ability she had to deal with him was depleted. "I did."

He stared into her eyes, scowling. "You're running."

"If running means getting you out of my life as quickly as possible, then yeah, I'm running."

Buffy tried to close the door again but before she could get it even halfway, he rammed the heavy flower pot between the latch and frame. "Don't shut me out," he begged, sounding more demanding than scared, but still, fear was present.

"You have no right to order me around," she said. "Now move."

He didn't budge. "You're afraid. You think I'm not?" The monster faded, and left behind was the face of a man. Pleading blue eyes bore into hers. "You can't get away from this, neither can I. We should be getting closer, not avoiding each other. That won't work."

"You," she pointed, her anger rising, "have no place in my life!"

A fierce look came into his eyes. "Bollocks."

She grit her teeth and turned away. Buffy ran her hands through her hair. "You're a vampire," she said strongly, like an oath had been taken, or a lie nobody could believe was finally spoken aloud. The following silence could have suffocated anyone else, but it barely touched the two who fought with each other now. "I am not going to be connected to a vampire."

His jaw clenched. "Too late."

"We aren't mated." She held up a hand, and started counting off fingers. "We haven't slept together, one. Two, you haven't bitten me, and three, no 'special words' have been said. No "Mine" or "Ours." Not at all! And I'm not about to say them! So NO, I am NOT connected to you-"

"But you are!" he snapped. A muscle moved near his jaw and his eyes lit up like fireballs. "All that other rot doesn't come until the end. There's nothing we can do to 'fix' our situation here- There's nothing to bloody fix! We're together, whether we like it or not!"

Buffy noticed that his fingers were biting into the wood of the doorframe. She fumed, her heart silently screaming, and not for the right things. She realized he wasn't lying. Sparks of life inside her were lighting up for him, and she felt like she was pitted against herself.

Frustration and fear bogged down on her already tense shoulders. "Move the pot," she ordered.

He shook his head in refusal.

"Move. The pot." she growled.

"No," he ground out. "You can't shut me out." When she only stared in resentful silence, he sighed long and harsh. "I know it's scary, alright?"

Buffy shook her head a little bit. Before she could speak, he was talking again.

"The first time I spotted you, I ran," he admitted. "You were out with a friend at that club in town, dancing the night away. My plans for boozing and skirt chasing were ruined the bleeding second I saw you."

"Allow me to convey my apologies," she sneered.

He ignored the sarcastic hiss and continued. "I got home and couldn't get you out of my mind. I knew you were the one, and I wanted to get the hell out of dodge before I found myself on your doorstep like some lost puppy."

She wanted to say it looked as if he'd failed, but he was quicker. "That plan didn't exactly pan out." He shook his head and looked at her pleadingly, a beggar on her porch with a tethered heart. "I realized I couldn't avoid this. Not unless I wanted to spend the rest of my days thinking about you, seeing you in every bloody chit I met. I couldn't live like that."

"Well, I can't live with you," Buffy threw in. Her voice was sharpened by things she didn't like to admit to, like a cornered animal when it growls and hisses; there is fear underlying the venom.

"And I can't live without you." He yanked the flower pot out from between the door and its frame. Buffy didn't waste time in slamming that door shut, yet on the other side, there he stood, unsurprised and determined, like a man keeping his unspoken word.

"I'm not leaving."

Okay, not so unspoken then.

"Sooner or later, Buffy, you'll have to quit running from me."

She said nothing and watched him walk away. Again, it was strange, and somewhere in the pit of her stomach, something twisted uncomfortably.

She wanted him to come back, and stay. That terrified her.

Buffy leaned her head against the door. Her heart felt lonely. Usually she was able to ignore such emotions, the ones that had a tendency to fester inside and leave voids behind, but this time they were swirling together like a tornado in her gut, ripping at things with endings that had always remained unwritten.

But he'd awakened those feelings, highlighted them and given them extra power so settling down wasn't to come. She was drawn to a stranger, and he was a monster. She was connected to him and she didn't want to be.

Should she work on wanting to be?

Her rationality protested, her heart nearly begged, for it wanted some place to rest, and her instinct... Her instinct urged her to charge outside and call him back. Somehow, she knew he would come running.

Instead, she took two sleeping pills and went to bed five minutes later, quickly drifting into a foggy, blissful oblivion.

Until the next morning, which turned into the next night, which brought him back again.
__________________________
END NOTES
Two things: One, thank you all for reading and reviewing! Please continue to leave reviews, they really help me write! *hugs*

Two, Just an fyi, I don't know if any of you readers watched Charmed, the tv show with the sister witches, but Buffy's job (as will be explained later) is basically the same as Prue Hailliwell's, when she worked at an auction house, kind of like an art specialist. She helped identify and appraise many valuable pieces, and helped set up auctions. Buffy has the same type of job in this story, and while it won't be super relevant as I won't be going too into detail with it, I thought it should be mentioned.

Thanks again for reading!





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