The Scoobies went about mundane tasks since there wasn’t any new business to discuss or attend to. Tara and Willow studied for their classes at the table, Giles and Anya took care of the shop and customers, and Xander helped Anya move some inventory up from the stockroom. Buffy had a few things to do so she asked Spike if he wanted to hang out for awhile, thinking it would be good for her friends to get used to him being around. Spike had said yes, he’d just hang out -- even though he really didn’t want to -- not that he didn't want to be with her... he'd just rather have her all to himself.
It didn’t take long for Spike to get painfully bored. He’d prefer to be spending time alone with Buffy, but she was at the table with the witches, reading up on info about Glory and the 'Key'. Spike wanted to ask Buffy if she felt like sparring in the training room, both to spar and just to have some alone time. But he didn’t want to keep Buffy from her Slayer studies or duty, it was vital for her to fill her head with knowledge about the ongoing threat that Glory posed; she might learn something that could help them defeat the Hell Bitch and save Dawn's life -- Spike wouldn't dream of interfering with that. And he didn’t want Giles to start accusing him of distracting Buffy from what was important.
As he observed the Scoobies, Spike tried to dismiss the feeling that he didn’t belong here. The Slayerettes were comfortable with each other and going about their routines, but Spike didn’t know what he should be doing. Should he try to make conversation with them? Should he (though he loathed the idea) offer to help Rupert or Anya with anything? Should he grab a book and read quietly? Spike felt like an awkward third... or seventh, wheel, and he hated feeling that way. He’d felt like that all the time back when he was mortal and he had no desire to go back there again.
He briefly wondered why feeling unwelcome amongst the Scoobies bothered him now when it hadn’t bothered him much (or at all) before. The answer was that he actually cared now if they wanted him here or not. He needed their acceptance for his budding relationship with Buffy to stand a chance.
‘Give it time, mate,’ Spike told himself. ‘This is only Day One, it’ll get better...’
Spike wandered over to a bookshelf, idly browsing the titles just to pass the time until Buffy was done with what she was doing.
Xander was taking a break from helping Anya with inventory. He saw Spike off by himself and decided to take the opportunity to ask a question or two.
"You seem to have recovered," Xander commented casually as he came up beside Spike.
Spike looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Recovered from what, your scathing wit? Yeah, somehow I pulled m’self together.”
"No, I meant you recovered from your bad case of the drunken crazies the last time I saw you at the crypt."
Spike clenched his jaw for a few moments. "Yeah, I'm all better now. Why'd you have to tell Buffy I was suicidal? I bloody well wasn't suicidal. You worried her for nothing."
"I just called it like I saw it -- call me wacky, but a guy who's all drunk, weepy, making with the crazy-talk and saying he didn't care if he died kinda seemed suicidal to me. And I didn't think Buffy would worry about you. The only thing she worried about you doing in the past was causing more trouble for us. I thought she might celebrate the fact that you were looking to shuffle off the immortal coil."
Spike thought it would be fun to make Xander feel stupid, a quote queued up in his head. He recited:
“To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause – there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.”
After a few moments, Xander responded by saying, “Huh? Are you drunk again?”
Spike snorted. “I thought so -- you didn’t know the context of the phrase. Try cracking a book every once in a while, Special Ed."
Giles was nearby and couldn’t help but overhear. “That’s Hamlet... You’re acquainted with the works of Shakespeare, Spike?”
"Can't live for-bloody-ever and not pick up a thing or two, Rupert. And that was Hamlet, Act three, Scene one, to be exact.” Spike didn't feel ready to tell them he'd actually been an upper-class gentleman once upon a time... maybe he'd share details about his mortal life with them someday, but not yet. He wouldn't leave himself open to more mockery from certain members of the Scoobies.
Giles went back to work, surprised that Spike could quote the Bard so handily, and Giles had heard Buffy mention that Spike spoke French when she was telling Tara about the date. It seemed that Spike had kept a cultured side secret from everyone. Someone who had a love of Shakespeare couldn’t be all bad... Maybe there really was hope for Spike, after all.
Spike continued the conversation with Xander, hoping to aggravate him a bit more; it was quickly becoming his favorite way to pass the time until he could get Buffy alone. "You were so bloody sure I was behind Buffy's disappearance... And I haven't heard an apology from you yet."
Xander stared blankly at him. "...Apology? You want me to apologize to you? After all the bullshit you've put us through and the rotten things you've done to us? Are you nuts?" He shook his head and blinked. "Yes, I'm sooo sorry I thought you would want to hurt or kill Buffy -- even though you've tried to kill all of us, or tried to get us killed, several times over the past few years. I was so very wrong to think the worst of a stand-up guy like you, Spike. What could I have been thinking when I was accusing and threatening you? That was so unfair of me," Xander droned sarcastically.
"Thank you, Xander." Spike smirked. "There. Now, was that so hard?"
Xander narrowed his eyes. "That was a fake apology and you know it, it doesn't count."
"Too late, I already accepted it."
"Hey guys!" Buffy popped up in between them. She'd gotten nervous when she noticed Spike and Xander talking and wanted to make sure they weren't arguing again. "What are we talking about? Something about teamwork, right? Something about how we're all friends now?" she asked leadingly. "Because you both know I'll get very cranky if you're picking at each other again."
"Harris just told me how sorry he was for accusing me of hurting you and for threatening me. It was very touching and heartfelt, I’m sorry you missed it, pet," Spike stated as he looked at Xander, narrowing his eyes and smirking as he silently dared the other man to gripe about it. “But I s’pose Xander didn’t want to get all emotional in front of everyone and waited ‘til he could have a semi-private word with me.”
"You really said you were sorry to Spike?" Buffy asked Xander, trying not to sound as surprised as she was.
The hopeful, happy look on her face stopped Xander from telling her it was a highly sarcastic apology. "Uh... yeah. I did sorta... apologize,” he muttered.
Buffy threw her arms around Xander and hugged him. "Aww, that was so sweet of you! That means a lot to me -- and Spike too. Thanks, Xan."
Xander grimaced at a gloating Spike over Buffy's shoulder, mouthing the words ‘You suck’.
"You still have to buy him a drink when we go to the Bronze next time too," Buffy added, patting Xander’s back. "You said you would."
"You're gonna buy all my drinks at the Bronze? What a sweet gesture. You’re a real stand-up guy, Xander -- I don't care what anybody says. We might just become BFFs yet,” Spike teased.
"I said I'd buy you one drink -- one," Xander corrected him, holding up a finger as Buffy released him from the hug. "I'm not gonna go broke just so you can get shit-faced."
Spike looked up in thought and tapped his chin. “Hmm, I don’t know if one drink is enough to make amends for menacing me the way you did... it was quite traumatic, ya know."
“Spike,” Buffy elbowed him in the ribs, “don’t be greedy.”
Spike sighed and rubbed the spot her pointy elbow had jabbed him. He was so Slayer-whipped already. “Alright, luv, one drink will have to do." He smiled at Xander. "But I'd be more inclined to forgive and forget if you throw in a plate of spicy wings too."
The next few hours went by peacefully with Buffy's friends doing their best to accept Spike's new role in Buffy's life. And Spike was still painfully bored. Buffy spent a little time with him in the training room, but then she had to go talk to Giles, and then she had to talk to Tara about something.
Spike pretended he wasn't bored to tears just hanging out at the shop, he didn't want to appear needy like that git Finn. He had to acknowledge and resign himself to the fact that Buffy did a lot of things during a normal day which didn't involve him. It was his bright idea to show up early at the shop, so he'd have to wait until Buffy was done spending time with her friends. He could leave and go to the garage to work on his car, but he had a hunch Buffy wanted him to stick around. He was so Slayer-whipped...
Xander didn't say anything to Spike since their last conversation, but he did give the blond vamp lots of unfriendly looks. He'd been wrong about Spike having something to do with Buffy's disappearance, as Spike had so happily pointed out -- it was never fun to be wrong, and it was embarrassing. The way he'd told everyone how sure he was about Spike being up to no good made Xander wish he'd just kept his mouth shut about his suspicions. And it didn't help his bruised ego that Dawn had left a few messages on his answering machine which consisted of her making a very annoying song out of only the words 'I told you so!' until she ran out of message space.
Spike had noticed Xander's frosty looks. He was grateful that Xander hadn't kept provoking him with insults and slights, but the glances were pissing Spike off too. 'It really bothers the boy that I'm with Buffy... bet he had, or has, a thing for her too. Hmm, then he'd probably really hate to witness more public displays of affection between my girl and me...' Spike thought, smirking devilishly.
It seemed like a win-win to Spike -- he'd get to snuggle up to and snog Buffy, and he'd get under Xander's (and probably Rupert's) skin too. Like Buffy said, the sooner her friends accepted that Spike was her boyfriend, the better. And what better way was there to drive the message home than to have them see Spike and Buffy being affectionate with each other?
Spike came up behind Buffy as she was putting a book back in a bookshelf. He wrapped his arms loosely around her middle and nuzzled her ear. "Mmm, you smell delicious, luv."
“Spike,” Buffy giggled and halfheartedly slapped at his hands, “stop that.”
“Yeah, Spike -- stop that,” Xander groaned.
Spike thought, 'It's workin' already. Didn't think he'd be disgusted enough to make a smartass comment for another minute or two.'
"Can't help m'self, pet." Spike continued nuzzling her, earning more giggles from Buffy and a grimace from Xander. "Not my fault you're so bloody irresistible. I'm powerless to resist your charms."
Buffy would make him stop -- really, she would -- soon. But she was enjoying feeling his strong arms around her, his soft lips on her earlobe and kissing her neck. Maybe just a few more seconds... then she'd tell him to stop for real.
“Good thing Dawn isn’t here,” Buffy said, trying not to get too carried away.
“Why’s that a good thing?” Willow asked. She wasn't sure if she should just avert her eyes from the snuggling, but she wanted to talk to Buffy like she would normally do (if Buffy didn't have Spike's lips attached to her earlobe).
“Because I promised her Spike and I wouldn’t kiss or get huggy in front of her," Buffy informed her. "You know, 'cause of the... thing." Buffy still couldn't remember if she'd told Spike about Dawn's crush on him, and she didn't want to let it slip.
Xander raised his hand. “Okay, new rule: We keep Dawn with us at all times. For her own protection, of course... Let's put it to a vote." He slowly lowered his hand, disappointed that no one else was voting.
"Well, the Nibblet's not here now, is she?" Spike said, turning Buffy around to face him. He rested his hands on her hips and kissed her lightly. "I'd be happy doing nothin' but snogging with you all day long. Give me some sugar, baby." Spike pulled Buffy against him and proceeded to give her a knee-weakening kiss.
Buffy's arms flailed for a moment as she was caught by surprise, but then she moaned and wrapped her arms around Spike's neck. It took a few seconds, but she finally remembered that her friends were right there and it wasn't a good idea for them to see her and Spike kissing so passionately yet. It was best to start off with nice little kisses and handholding, and then work up to power-snogging in public.
Buffy gently, but firmly, pushed at Spike's chest and broke the kiss. She blinked and took a deep breath. "I think I had some gum..."
Spike took a wad of cinnamon Trident gum out of his mouth and then smirked. "Here it is. Want it back?"
"Nah, that's okay..."
Spike shrugged and tossed the gum into a nearby wastepaper basket. Buffy turned back to the bookshelf, trying to remember what book she meant to take next. Her brain was still rebooting after that kiss.
Spike put his arms around her and began nuzzling her neck again. "What is that scent, pet? Drivin' me wild, it is."
"It's just some Mango Mania body spray, nothing special." She wondered, 'Why is he suddenly all over me? Not that it doesn't feel good, but... Maybe the body spray really does have those pheromone thingies that make men turn into animals like it says on the bottle.'
"Mmmm, I love it. You know... I think the aroma I find so luscious is just pure 'Buffy'; you don't need to wear anythin' else."
Xander was trying not to look directly at Spike and Buffy, fearing his retinas might burn out like if he stared at an eclipse. But he could still hear the cutesy talk and lip smacking when they kissed. He groaned quietly and thought, 'Oh God, how am I going to survive if I have to see and hear this shit every day...?'
Buffy turned her head to look at Spike over her shoulder and happened to notice him glance at Xander and smirk. Her eyes narrowed as she finally figured out why Spike was being so overly affectionate.
She wriggled out of his embrace. "Spike, I need to see you in the training room," Buffy said sternly as she headed into the next room.
Spike raised his eyebrows and stuck the tip of his tongue out. "Want to get me alone already, eh?"
"Now, Spike," Buffy called impatiently from inside the training room.
Spike smirked and strolled over to the door, then turned back to her friends. "Little vixen just can't get enough of me. Now, don't be alarmed if you hear some strange noises comin' from --"
Buffy's arm appeared in the doorway, grabbed Spike by the arm, and pulled him into the training room.
Spike chuckled as he stumbled a few steps inside and Buffy closed the door.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Buffy asked irritably, putting her hands on her hips.
"What're you on about, luv?"
"Don't play dumb with me, Spike. Why were you being such a jerk out there?"
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Wanting to kiss you is being a jerk?"
"You were putting on a show."
"It's not my fault the sight of me kissing, touching, or whisperin' sweet nothings in your ear makes your friends want to heave. I'd say that falls under the category of Their Bloody Problem, not mine." Spike raised his chin and sniffed to seem unaffected.
"Besides the kissing me under false pretenses thing, I'm also pissed that you were making them think we had sex last night. Not cool, Spike."
"Are you ashamed of me, is that it?" Spike asked, tilting his head.
Buffy frowned, taken off-guard by the question. "What? No, of course not."
“Then… what? I can’t touch you in front of anyone? Is that the rule? It was okay in the carriage and the restaurant 'cos you didn't know any of the people who saw us together -- I’m okay if we’re alone in the shadows, but ya don’t want me in the light?”
She groaned, squeezed her eyes shut in frustration and shook her head. "Don't try turning this around on me -- you're the one who was acting like an asshole out there a minute ago."
"That doesn't answer my question," Spike persisted. He was just having a bit of fun agitating Xander while also enjoying kissing and being close to Buffy out in the shop, he didn't think Buffy would get angry over it or be offended. But now he had a sinking feeling that she really was ashamed to have her friends see her with him like that. "You're ashamed of how you feel 'bout me... and you don't want me puttin' my hands or lips on you in front of your friends? Am I s'posed to just sit in a corner and stay quiet when they're around?"
“No, you know that’s not what I’m saying at all! I was enjoying what you were doing until I realized why you were really doing it. You were just kissing me and saying those things to get under Xander’s skin… his very thin skin.”
“That’s not true, luv." Spike stepped up to her and raised his hand to touch her face, stroking her cheek lightly. "I see you and I’m drawn to you… I’ve gone so long not being able to touch you, now that I can, I don’t want to waste one more minute.”
Buffy sighed as she looked into his eyes. It was hard to not just forgive him when he said those kinds of things and looked at her with so much affection. “Spiiike… you’re saying none of that… that display was for the benefit of Xander?”
Spike hesitated, his eyes moving guiltily away from hers for a moment.
“That’s what I thought!” Buffy concluded, taking a step back and shoving him away.
"Look..." Spike said with a sigh. "Alright, I admit that it was partly to annoy Harris... but that was just a fringe benefit of snogging and being close to you. You have to know I really, truly love you, Buffy."
Buffy had her arms crossed, looking away from him and feeling petulant. "You were just using me to piss Xander off. That really hurts, Spike."
"No, I wasn't! I'd never use you..." Spike paused and ran a hand back through his hair, angry with himself (once again) for making her feel that way; that definitely was not his intention. "Looks like I didn't think it through before I went ahead and did it... I do that sort of thing a lot."
"Yeah, I noticed."
"Buffy… I love you… I’d do anything for you -- but I… I need you to love me for me, pet. I’m not Angel… I’m not Capt’n Cardboard… I’m Spike. I'm going to make some bloody stupid mistakes... but that doesn't mean I don't love you with every fiber of my being, it just means I can be a git sometimes. You don't have to like everything about me, but can't you just... try to accept me as I am?"
She weakened slightly at that, glancing at him with a pout. Buffy didn't want Spike to feel inadequate and compare himself to her exes. She felt insecure in some ways to the other women Spike had been with, she knew how shitty it was to feel that way.
“Buffy, I swear I’ll never hurt you -- I’ll never leave you, I’d lay down my life for you, but you gotta let me be me… and part of me is a thorn in Harris’ side -- just like he’s a bloody thorn in my side… that’s just who we are – it’s what we do.”
Buffy blew out a long breath and rolled her eyes. “So you two are what... just gonna keep sticking it to each other forever?”
Spike raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips together. “That wasn’t exactly my plan, pet…”
“Oh, get your mind out of the gutter for a minute!”
“Xander and me… it’s a love-hate relationship -- without the love part,” Spike explained. “It’s good for the boy -- gets his heart rate up! If not for me, his heart would barely beat faster than mine, unhealthy, that is -- he should pay me as his personal trainer.”
Buffy rolled her eyes again and shook her head, but she couldn’t help but be a little amused. “Can you at least try to tone it down a little… for a while?” Buffy requested with a pout.
Spike couldn’t resist that bottom lip... he had to kiss it, and he had to give in to it. “All right…” he acquiesced after giving that pouty lip a nibble. “But, fair warning, if Harris dies from lack of proper training, don’t come cryin’ to me.’”
Buffy chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Boy, will my face be red if Xander keels over from lack of cardio exercise." She put her arms around Spike and just held him for a few moments. "We talked the other night about how we need to be more careful about not stepping on each other's feelings and how we have to work things out without running away, and we just did that -- yay, us. Now you know that kissing me or being extra boyfriend-y just to irritate my friends is wrong and I hate it." Buffy smiled sweetly and patted his face. "And you're very lucky I didn't kick your ass."
"I didn't do it just to irritate your mates," Spike defended. "Didn't you hear what I --"
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "You still want to argue? Just nod and smile so we can put a period at the end of this fight." She understood now that Spike hadn't been using her just to upset Xander, it was just another instance of Spike using really bad judgment. And now she just wanted the fight to be over.
Spike rolled his eyes, but then smiled and nodded. 'I'm so bloody Slayer-whipped...' he lamented. But it wasn't such a bad thing, really; there was no other woman he'd rather be whipped by.
"Better." Buffy smiled again. "And I know to be more reassuring and show you I'm not ashamed of you or how I feel about you... because I'm not."
"You just got out of a relationship with a needy ponce, I don't want to be like him -- in any bloody way. You don't need to coddle me, pet, I'm a big boy. I just got... worried there for a minute that you still weren't right with your friends seeing us together. I'm alright now that you set me straight."
"Good." Buffy pulled him into another hug, wanting to enjoy being alone with him a little longer.
Spike held her in his arms, reminding himself to try harder at being nice to all her friends... which unfortunately included Xander. "I really am sorry I hurt your feelings, pet... I never want you thinking I take you for granted or that I'd use you for anything. It was just another case of me leaping before I looked. I love you and want you all the bloody time -- irritating Harris was just a bonus. You understand that, right?"
"Uh-huh. You're forgiven... this one time. But if you do it again, my foot and your ass are gonna have an appointment." She gave his butt a few light slaps.
Spike pulled back and smirked, having very much enjoyed feeling her hand on his ass for those few seconds. "Maybe you do need to punish me in some way... just so I really get the message," he said with a suggestive cocking of his eyebrow.
"Why is it the word 'spanking' keeps flashing like a neon sign in my mind?" Buffy wondered.
Spike grinned. "Ah! See, we're developing a connection already! You finished my thought, just like other lovey-dovey, annoying couples."
"My definition of 'punishment' is something you wouldn't enjoy." Then she crinkled up her nose and asked, "You'd really enjoy spanking? Kinda weird, isn't it? I never understood how people could get turned on by that..."
"Would I get turned on if you did it? Without a bloody doubt!" Spike was still kidding around with her, but couldn't help but be aroused at the thought of Buffy spanking his botty. He licked his lips, then asked, "Would you use a paddle of some sort... or your bare hand?"
Buffy blushed and smacked his chest lightly. "You're weird -- but I'm learning to accept, and trying to embrace, your weirdness. Let's put off talk of strange things like spanking until we've done normal stuff first, okay?"
"Hey, it's not abnormal -- don't knock spanking 'til you've tried it, pet." Spike had to file that away for later contemplation -- the fact that Buffy had never spanked or been spanked. Her sexual history had to be strictly vanilla considering the men she'd dated in the past. Riley, that little prat Parker, and Angel all spelled boring with a capital bloody B. If she'd been with Angelus instead of Angel, it'd be a different story -- Angelus was one kinky motherfucker...
Xander's hopes that Buffy and Spike might be breaking up were dashed when they came out of the training room holding hands. He'd been hopeful Spike would've said something really wrong and stupid and made Buffy give him the old heave-ho.
Xander didn't know what to think anymore. Spike had feelings for Buffy, that much was obvious, but it couldn't be real love. He knew Buffy was grateful to Spike for saving her life -- but so grateful that she wanted to date him? How could she forget all the rotten things Spike had done? Xander just had a bad feeling about the whole thing...
His unhelpful inner-voice piped up, 'It's kinda like the bad feeling you had about Spike when Buffy was missing. Could you have been *more* wrong about that?' Xander muttered under his breath, telling his inner-voice to shut up -- it was supposed to be on his side!
Spike didn't want a full-blown argument with Buffy's friends to ensue, but he thought it best if they cleared the air a bit. Holding all their objections inside would only make the negative feelings grow, and that would just make things worse in the end. Since there were no customers in the shop at the moment, it seemed like a good time for him to make his case.
"Everyone, I've got somethin' to say," Spike announced.
The Scoobies looked up from their tasks, giving Spike their attention.
Buffy looked at him nervously, thinking, 'Oh no... what the hell are you doing, Spike? This is just the first day they've had to get used to us dating. Am I gonna have to drag you in the damn training room again?'
Spike took a breath and began. "I shoulda said what I'm about to say when I first got here, but better late than never, yeah? We can save some time by skipping the 'I'll stake your ass if you hurt Buffy' speech all of you want to give me." Spike's eyes rested on Giles and Xander longer than the others, they were the most likely to come after him if he did Buffy wrong. "I already know what I'm gonna get if I hurt Buffy -- no need to waste your breath with that threat."
"Yeah, that's a real timesaver, alright," Xander mumbled. "But what if we really want to give you the 'I'll stake your ass if' speech? Can we still do it just for fun?"
"Cut it out, Xander," Buffy warned.
Spike continued, ignoring Xander for the moment. "If I ever betray her -- which I will not -- I'd deserve everything I had comin' to me. I also know none of you believe me yet, but I do love Buffy and the last thing I want to do is hurt her ever again."
Buffy went to stand with Spike at the counter, smiling faintly. It was great to hear him say those things, but she couldn't help but be nervous that the floor was now open to further discussion. She should've sent Xander out to get coffee and doughnuts to avoid another argument today...
Spike smiled reassuringly at her, then looked back at the others. "I know you lot have your... doubts about whether I meant what I said to Buffy -- 'bout walking the straight-and-narrow from now on. I did mean it, and I intend to follow through. I'm one of the good guys now." He snorted and smiled; it still boggled his mind when he really thought about it -- 'William the Bloody' was now a White Hat. What a long, strange trip it had been from his fledgling days; Spike never would've guessed that his journey would've taken this particular turn.
"You can change just like that, huh?" Xander asked, snapping his fingers. "You can just brush off all the evil and decide to be good? Uh-uh," he shook his head, "it don't work that way, pal."
"No, not just like that. And how the bloody hell would you know how it 'works'? You've got no clue, boy." Spike took a moment to rein in his growing annoyance. "People all down through history have done 180° turns when they were given strong motivation to change; a reason for wanting to better themselves. Well... I finally got my motivation and reason..." Spike looked at Buffy, smiling affectionately. "My raison d'etre, my muse, my Buffy."
Xander started to make a gagging noise, but was immediately silenced by a steely look from Buffy. After she was done giving Xander the evil eye, she looked at Spike and smiled sweetly.
"If you recall, Spike," Giles began, "I talked to you once -- or should I say, I attempted to talk to you once -- about fighting on the side of right, suggesting that perhaps you had a higher purpose. You were completely unmoved and couldn't get rid of me fast enough -- I felt like a fool for believing for even a moment that you might be capable of changing."
"Yeah... I do recall that conversation." Spike thought back to that chat, it was after he'd helped Giles (for a fee, of course) when Giles had been turned into a Fyarl demon. He recalled being especially rude to Rupert (which was fun at the time, but now Spike regretted that he'd been so dismissive). "I wasn't nearly ready to consider another way of life back then. I still wanted my life back that those Initiative buggers stole from me."
"And now you're ready?" Giles asked skeptically.
"I am," Spike replied, reaching next to him to touch Buffy's hand. Buffy intertwined their fingers and gave his hand a squeeze. "I don't want to be the man I used to be anymore, I'm not that man anymore. When I make up my mind to do something, I bloody well do it.
"I'm not sayin' it's gonna be easy for me, but... she's worth it. Buffy is my woman, and that's how it's gonna stay. I won't cock this up."
Xander thought Spike sounded sincere... But he couldn't let himself be swayed -- it had to be a trick. "So, all your evil will just be simmering on the backburner? You can act as good as you want, Spike. But we all know the kind of stuff you'd rather be doing -- y'know, fun, kooky stuff like murder and mayhem."
Spike took a breath, cracking his neck to the side. It was a test of his patience and new commitment to being a good guy just talking to her friends. Having to explain his thoughts and feelings to Xander bloody Harris was trying. "That's the thing -- knowing Buffy has had a, what you'd call, an influence on me. I find myself not wanting to do evil things. I actually have a desire to do right."
"Yeah, just to impress her," Xander added with disdain. "Not because you're a 'changed man'."
"Buffy and I talked about a lotta things last night... and we covered that subject. I'm her backup muscle, that'll be my function in the group. If she... can't be somewhere or can't fight, then I'll be there to take care of business." Spike didn't want to even say the words 'if she dies', but he thought the Scoobies got what he meant from the momentary looks of sadness on their faces. "If one of you can't reach Buffy and there's a demon that needs immediate slaying, you come to me. I'll protect each of you, and even this bloody town, with everything I got. And I'm here to stay, I'm not goin' anywhere. Don't just dismiss me out of hand -- give me a chance to prove I can change. That's all I ask."
The Scoobies were silent as they absorbed what Spike said. They were Buffy's friends and they loved her, so they could only pray that Spike was being honest and that he really was capable of being good without a soul. A few were more skeptical than others, but they would give Spike the chance he was asking for. Maybe Spike didn't deserve a second-chance, but Buffy deserved their cooperation.
"I want us to get one very important thing straight," Buffy addressed the room. "If Spike does 'hurt' me in some way in the future, I will be the one to deal with the situation -- not any of you." She looked at each of them in turn, her gaze lingering on Xander and Giles. "Is that perfectly clear?" Buffy didn't want to have to worry about one of them serving up some 'justice' on her behalf if Spike did something wrong or if they thought Spike did something wrong.
They nodded, Xander and Giles nodding more slowly than the others; they knew that comment was mostly directed at them.
Buffy's expression softened when she looked at Spike again. "You want to come to my house for dinner tonight? We're just getting a pizza, but Dawn wants to make that 'thank you' cake for you."
Spike smiled gratefully, feeling a bit optimistic that at least Buffy's family was going to give him a fair shake. "I'd love to, pet."
Buffy looked to the front window of the shop, happy to see that it was dusk and now dark enough for Spike to walk home with her without getting crispy in the sun. There was one more thing she wanted to do before they started for home...
Buffy put her arms around Spike's neck and pulled him to her for a kiss. Spike was surprised (and, of course, pleased) that she was initiating a kiss in front of her friends. He put his hands on her waist as her soft lips pressed against his.
Spike had expected it to be a short but sweet lip-lock, but Buffy surprised him again by power-snogging him. She held him tighter, closer, as her tongue pushed into his mouth, beginning to kiss him more deeply and passionately. Spike had to restrain himself from grabbing Buffy and running his hands all over her body as he would if they were alone. He knew why Buffy was doing this, and he loved her even more for it -- besides just for the pleasure of it, she was showing him that she wasn't ashamed of him. And she was showing her friends that she was serious about him -- that was a good reason too.
They were both panting for breath when the kiss broke. Buffy daintily wiped her mouth as she turned to her friends again. "You're gonna be seeing a lot of that, by the way -- I suggest you get used to it."
The Scoobies were staring with their mouths hanging open a bit, surprised by Buffy's display. She'd never done anything like that with her other boyfriends in front of them before. There was that earlier kiss which Spike started (but that seemed like he did that mostly to rub their faces in the fact that he was now Buffy's boyfriend), but this time Buffy was the one initiating it.
Anya had been in the process of recounting the money in the cash register when Buffy and Spike started kissing. "That was hot," she moaned huskily, using a fan of one dollar bills to cool herself off and wanting to get Xander alone ASAP.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow. Call me if you need me for anything before then," Buffy said casually as she collected her jacket and purse from the table. She took Spike's hand and started for the front door. "Let's go, Spike." Though she was pretending she was perfectly fine, Buffy was hoping she could make it to the door without her legs noticeably wobbling from the intense kissage -- she wanted to make a confident, poised exit.
Spike smiled goofily at the Scoobies, snatching his duster off the back of the chair as Buffy pulled him along with her toward the door. "Ain't she just neat?"
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Enjoy the second half :)
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Chapter End Notes:
I'm aware that texting wasn't as common back in 2001 as it is now, but I thought it'd be fun to have Anya excited about trying sexting :) Thanks to my lovely and talented beta, Passion4Spike, for the idea!