William just sat there. In shock.
He let out a shaky breath. Here it was. Evidence of Buffy’s unfaithfulness. He knew it had happened, of course. They’d talked about both their infidelities.
About it. Around it. In therapy and out of it.
William had thought about it less and less since over the past few months. Or tried to, at least. But seeing it in all its high-definition glory opened the wound afresh.
Then he realized what day it was. He looked at the calendar on his laptop for confirmation and got it. The day he’d served Buffy with divorce papers last year.
Immediately, William knew exactly what this video was – one final ‘fuck you’ from Xander Lavelle Harris III. With a ‘P.S. I fucked your wife mate and don’t you forget it’.
“Son of a bitch,” William whispered.
Son of a bitch planned all of it, William thought. For who knows how long. Sick fuck. Motherfucker. Cocksucker.
William tried not to. He really did. But he found himself unable to keep from watching the video again. This time paying close attention to Buffy.
Taking in his wife’s every word. Every expression that played across her perfect face –pain, grief, anger, desire – as she played the role of seductress to the hilt.
Then, he turned his attention to Xander. Taking in the billionaire’s smug, self-satisfied expression. His movements deliberate and drawn out.
Secure in the knowledge of what he’d been so desiring these past few months was finally within his grasp.
William couldn’t help himself. He watched the clip over and over again. Scrutinising every detail. Until he knew every beat.
Finally, he sat back in his chair. In mournful silence. His mind, body and heart in turmoil as he recalled in excruciating detail the conversation he had with Buffy that day.
“Was… was Xander good?”
“Yes. He was good.”
William sat back in his chair. Trying to take it all in.
The mail addressed to him. On the anniversary of the day he’d served Buffy with divorce papers.
The USB. The two clips. One marked ‘Buffy’. The other ‘For Your Eyes Only’.
He’s fucking with you mate, he told himself. He’s just sore Buffy picked you over him. Don’t give him the bleedin’ satisfaction.
Still, he found himself staring at that other clip now.
For Your Eyes Only
As it just sat there. Mocking him. Taunting him. Daring him to open it.
What the fuck is it? William wondered.
He leaned forward, then carefully right-clicked on the video, and opened the properties tab.
The file name was ‘For Your Eyes Only’.
Type of file: MP4
Opens with:
Location: F:
Size: 7.84gb
William was no tech expert, but even he knew that meant that the video was of considerable length.
He clicked on the file details tab. The description was the same as the title – ‘For Your Eyes Only’.
Subtitle:
Rating: Unrated
Tags:
Comments:
Length: 06:14:44
That gave William pause. He stared at the figure. Trying to make sense of it.
Six hours, fourteen minutes and 44 seconds, he thought.
“Six hours, fourteen minutes and 44 seconds,” William whispered.
Then, the memory of Buffy standing on their staircase in their home returned to him. After he’d spent a sleepless
night wondering where she was.
I was with Xander, she’d told him. Looking as defiant as she did lovely.
Doing what? he’d asked. Thoroughly gobsmacked by her admission.
Use your imagination, she’d told him. Coldly. Xander sure as hell did.
We were up all night, his wife had said. Doing every nasty thing you can think of. Twice.
Six hours, fourteen minutes and 44 seconds, William thought again.
Then, it finally sunk in. What Xander had sent him. What he had in his possession.
A recording of the night Buffy and Xander had spent together. Every minute of it.
Son of a bitch, William thought. Motherfucker. Cocksucker.
Finding himself shaking with rage. Gripping the chair so
tight his knuckles at turned white.
“No,” William said. Suddenly. Shaking his head furiously.
This is exactly what he wants, mate. To drive you and
Buffy apart, he told himself.
Suddenly, William knew what he had to do. Delete the videos. Throw away the USB. Bury the past.
Quickly, he moved his cursor over to selected both videos. His finger moved to the delete button.
She loves me, he told himself. Finger hovering over the button. What does it matter what happened between them? It
doesn't. It's in the past. It doesn't mean a damn thing.
She loves me. She chose me. Not him. Me. Not him. Me.
Then he remembered Buffy’s words.
It was only sex, Will, she’d said. Her voice soft. Caring. Not love. Not what we…
Only sex, he thought to himself. Not love. Not what we have.
Only sex, he heard Xander’s smug, patronizing voice say.
As if it was right in his ear. William swiveled his head so quickly he found his neck and shoulders sore.
Six hours, fourteen minutes and forty-four seconds worth of sex to be exact, Xander’s voice crowed. In a smooth, self-congratulatory tone.
But not love. Not what you and Buffy have, the voice added. Acidly.
The fuck is happening to me? William wondered. Am I losing my mind?
Suddenly, another memory assailed him. Of standing outside Buffy’s apartment.
Was he better than me? William had asked.
For a moment, William thought he’d glimpsed guilt and panic flash across Buffy’s face. Then it was gone.
It was just sex, his wife had responded. Just sex. Not love. Not what we…
That night, and many nights afterwards, William had wondered if he’d imagined the fleeting expression on her
face.
Buffy never really answered my question, William realised. Not directly.
It was a fact that he’d somehow managed to block out of his mind. Until now.
I have to know, William thought. Suddenly. Desperately. I need to…
William’s finger trembled as he moved the cursor away from both videos and into open space. Then, with a click, he
unselected both of them.
William found his heartbeat quickening as he carefully, he moved his cursor over it. Found his mouth going completely dry. Finding himself holding his breath.
What am I doing? he thought.
He glanced up at the door. To confirm it was still shut.
It was only sex, Buffy had said. Not love. Not what we have.
I have to know, William thought again. I need to…
Taking in a shaky breath, he double-clicked on the video marked ‘For Your Eyes Only’.
Immediately, a little box-popped up.
Password needed, it said.
Please enter the password in the box below.
William blinked twice. Then breathed out. Before he could
do anything, his door opened. It was her.
“Are you coming to bed, honey?” Buffy asked. Gently dabbing at her blonde hair with a soft towel.
Her words, so close to that what she’d said to Xander that night, threw William for a complete loop.
He just stared at her for a few moments. Trying to reconcile her – the woman in front of him, the one he loved most in the world – with the stranger he’d seen on
his screen.
“Yeah,” William said. Finding his voice hoarse, his eyes slightly moist and his throat lumpy. “In a bit.”
Buffy shot him a quizzical look. Tilting her head slightly to one side. William could see the question in her eyes.
She was about to ask him what was wrong.
William forced himself to smile.
“Everything is fine luv,” he assured her. His heart pounding in his chest. “I’ll be right there, yeah?”
That seemed to reassure her if only a little. Clearly, she wasn’t spoiling for a fight. Things had been so much better between them. And she wanted to keep it that way.
“Okay,” she said. Softly. “Just don't stay up too late, hon.”
“Night,” William said.
“Night,” she said.
And then she shutting the door and was walking down the hallway. Leaving him alone in his little home office.
William waited until he was sure she was safely in their bedroom.
What am I doing? he wondered. Again.
I have to know, he thought. I need to know.
As he staring at the little box, typed Buffy as the password.
His fingers trembling again.
He waited a moment, then hit enter.
Password incorrect, it flashed immediately.
Dammit, William thought.
He hesitated, then tried Xander as the password.
Incorrect again.
Xander Harris.
Incorrect.
Xander Harris III.
Incorrect.
Now, William found himself getting agitated.
William, he typed in.
Incorrect.
Then, staring at the screen in frustration, a lightbulb
went off in his head.
For your eyes only, he typed in.
He took a moment to collect himself, then pressed enter.
Still incorrect.
“Fuck,” William growled. He was in utter turmoil now. His chest was heavy. He gave it another thought.
For Your Eyes Only, he typed in.
Then hesitated.
Am I really gonna do this? William wondered.
It was only sex, Will, he heard her say again. Her voice was pleading with him now. Not to do this. To himself. To
them. Not love. Not what we…
I have to know, he thought. Feverishly. Desperately. I need to…
William hit the enter key. And held his breath.
The box disappeared. And nothing happened.
“What the fuck?” William whispered.
Before William could move his cursor, the high-definition video began to play. Immediately picking where the first one left off. Though the camera angle was now on the opposite side of the room.
Buffy had slid the raincoat completely off herself. Showing that she, as had teased, was wearing nothing underneath it.
Though her nakedness was obscured by Xander’s position on the bed right in front of her.
For the first time, William’s ears picked up the soft strains of music in the background. Then, the dulcet tones of a man softly crooning filled the room.
You make it look like it's magic
'Cause I see nobody, nobody but you, you, you
I'm never confused
Hey, hey
I'm so used to being used….
It took William a few moments to place the song. He recognized it from some cheesy romance movie he and Buffy had taken in at a cinema near their home years ago.
Only because he remembered the audience being made up of couples and single women – not a single bloke had come to see the movie by his lonesome.
Most women looked eager and a tad bashful, while their boyfriends and husbands – William very much included – looked embarrassed and put out.
When William blinked, he saw the billionaire had placed his left hand on his wife’s tiny waist. His pricey Patek Phillipe watch still on his wrist.
It was the watch that made it click in William’s mind. He’d seen it in the movie. Which was about a romance between a shy, wholesome young woman and an arrogant, autocratic billionaire.
What? William thought. What the fuck?
Buffy was beaming, William saw. Green eyes aglow, flawless cheeks lit up, perfect lips parted wide, her row of upper teeth brilliantly white.
In anticipation of her payback for what I did with Faith? Her desire for Xander? Or….
William thought back to that evening. He and Buffy had spent the entire time making jokes and flippant remarks. Especially during the lovemaking scenes. Much to the consternation of those sitting around them.
No, he thought. It’s just a coincidence. That’s all.
Then he remembered later that night. How they’d made passionate love. Multiple times.
You were attracted to him from the beginning right? he’d asked.
Yes, she’d admitted. To him. To herself.
William couldn’t help but wonder.
Was his wife acting out some subconscious fantasy with the billionaire?
His heart began to race.
By now, the singer had hit an impossibly high pitch.
So I love when you call unexpected
'Cause I hate when the moment's expected
On the video, he saw Buffy raise her chin as Xander bent his head a little.
No, William thought. Buffy. Please. Don’t. Stop.
But she didn’t. Instead, his wife was turning her face to her favoured left and parting her lips.
So I'ma care for you, you, you…
As the billionaire, leaning forward, turned his face to his left.
I'ma care for you, you, you, you, yeah….
Then, their lips met in a passionate, playful kiss.
It was just sex Will, he heard Buffy say. Emphatically. Just sex. Not love. Not what we…
William could still see Buffy’s lit-up face. Her beaming cheeks and wide smile. Her pearly white teeth. Glittering eyes.
When he furiously blinked that image away, he saw Buffy tilt her head further back.
'Cause girl you're perfect
Xander leaned forward eagerly, turning his face even further to his left.
You're always worth it
The kiss deepened further. Their joined lips making loud, smacking sounds.
And you deserve it
The way you work it
“Mmmmm,” Buffy was moaning. Approvingly.
'Cause girl you earned it
Girl you earned it, yeah
Suddenly, Buffy and Xander both nearly tumbled back. Still kissing, they momentarily teetered back and forth before finding their footing.
You know our love would be tragic (Oh, yeah)
So you don't pay it, don't pay it no mind
We live with no lies
Now, Xander chuckled and Buffy giggled coquettishly.
A moment later, Xander bent a little at the knees. And, winding both arms around Buffy, hoisted her up and into the air.
Hey, hey
You're my favorite kind of night
William could only watch with growing horror as the billionaire now began kissing the holy hell out of his wife.
You're my favorite kind of night
“Mmmmppph,” Buffy moaned. Straight into Xander’s mouth. “Mmmmmm.”
Sounding ecstatic to William’s ears. Xander responded with a guttural growl.
So I love when you call unexpected
'Cause I hate when the moment's expected
It was just sex Will, he remembered her saying. Just sex. Not love. Not what we…
The camera angle shifted again. To overlooking the bed from the far side of the room.
Xander was holding Buffy up with one hand now. They were still kissing. Slowly, the billionaire began carrying his wife across the bed.
So I'ma care for you, you, you
I'ma care for you, you, you, you, yeah
By now, Buffy had wrapped her long, shiny legs – at the end of which dangled six-inch ‘fuck me’ pumps – around Xander’s trim waist.
'Cause girl you're perfect (Girl, you're perfect)
You're always worth it (You're always worth it)
And you deserve it (And you deserve it)
The way you work it (The way you work it)
She was running her soft hands all over Xander’s shoulders and back. Enjoying the feel of his toned, muscled flesh.
On that lonely night (Lonely night)
You said it wouldn't be love
His slow, deliberate movements only heightening her anticipation. The fervour of the kiss only grew,
But we felt the rush
It made us believe it there was only us (Only us)
Convinced we were broken inside, yeah, inside, yeah
Just sex Will, she’d said. Softly. Not love. Not what we…
Just sex, Xander said. In a mocking, merciless tone.
That’s what the missus said. Good one, eh?
When their lips finally parted so that they could draw breath, Xander’s breathing was heavy but steady. Buffy’s breathing was ragged. She was sighing heatedly.
You're always worth it (You're always worth it)
'Cause girl you're perfect (Girl, you're perfect)
Now, she was planting hungry kisses on Xander’s neck and shoulders.
And you deserve it (And you deserve it)
The way you work it (The way you work it)
Not what you and Buffy have, Xander crowed. That’s for damn sure, mate.
The girl in question had extended her right hand across his shoulders. Anchoring herself to him. The billionaire placed his right hand on the bed. Then, stabilizing himself for a moment, laid his wife down.
'Cause girl you earned it, yeah
Girl you earned it, yeah (Earned it, no, no, ooh)
Buffy was placing her left hand behind her to break her own fall but it was unneeded. Her head found the pillow perfectly. Her golden locks bounced a little before settling around her oval face.
Girl you earned it, yeah (Earned it, no, no, ooh)
The camera angle changed to the side of the bed, then zoomed in tight. Until only their faces were filling the screen.
Xander was leaning over Buffy now. A knowing smirk playing across his face. A wicked gleam in his eyes.
'Cause girl you're perfect
Mine, Xander’s eyes seemed to say. Tonight, you’re all mine.
Buffy, William thought. Don’t. Please. Stop. Please.
Instead, his wife parted her mouth. He soft, pink tongue flickered teasingly against her lips. Her eyes dark and inviting.
You're always worth it
Xander responded by dipping his head and flicking out his own tongue.
It was just sex Will, he heard Buffy say. Again. So softly he barely heard her. Just sex. Not love. Not what we…
And you deserve it
When their mouths met in another torrid, passionate kiss, William could take no more.
He grabbed the laptop and flung it into the nearest wall. Barely even registering the thudding sound as it shattered on impact.
He just sat there for a while. Trying to process what he’d witnessed. Was it just revenge for Buffy? Or something else entirely?
I asked her how it was and she said it was good, William thought.
Buffy lied to me, William thought again. She fuckin’ lied to me. I asked her how it was and she said…
It was just sex, his wife had insisted. Just sex. Not love. Not what we…
But the little he’d seen with his own eyes, it was more than just sex. More than just good sex. This was great sex.
Incredible sex mate, Xander’s voice in his head quipped. Sounding exceedingly chuffed with himself. Mind-blowing, headpost rattling, bed shaking, life-changing coitus. A once-in-a-lifetime lay. Her lifetime, I mean.
William just sat there for a long time. Finding himself overwhelmed by all the usual emotions – grief, anger, hurt, guilt – and ones he couldn’t even begin to name.
Already, William knew he’d made a terrible mistake. He’d played right into that bastard’s hands. Opened his own wounds afresh.
Worse, he’d violated his wife’s privacy. He had absolutely no right to know anything about what happened between Buffy and Xander – beyond what she’d already told him.
Much less see it with his own eyes.
“Fuck,” William swore. Finding himself unable to get what
he’d seen out of his head.
Worse, he could feel the makings of a splitting headache coming on. Already, his head was throbbing and his eyes were watery.
Finally, William he knew what he had to do. He rose, then walked over to the far corner of the room. He knelt and picked his shattered laptop in his hand. The USB was still plugged in. His fingers moved to the USB slot, then roughly yanked it out.
He held it in his hand for a moment. Staring at it. Then, rising to his feet, walked over to his desk and dumped it into the trash bin under his desk.
William allowed himself one last shudder and a sob, then wiped his eyes.
It’s over, William told himself. It’s in the past. Time to let it go, mate. No point digging up the past mate. Just let it go. Move on.
William exhaled. Then walked out of his study with heavy feet. When he finally entered their bedroom, the sight of his wife in repose made him halt in his tracks.
She looked so beautiful. Like an angel. So sweet. So innocent.
She loves me, William thought. I know she does. We’ve made a life together. Even after everything. We’ve forgiven
each other, haven’t we? Isn’t that all that matters?
William found himself considering all these things as he stared at Buffy.
My Buffy, he thought. My sweet, small, precious wife. Mine.
That thought brought a small smile to William’s lips.
Yours eh? He heard that low, sinister voice say. Again. You sure about that, mate?
Suddenly, he was back at the foot of their old home and Buffy was on the staircase. Looking down at him with disdain and disgust. For him. And for herself.
We were up all night, she said. Doing every nasty thing you can think of. Twice.
That’s right mate, Xander added. In a faux British accent. Me and your precious Buffy indulged in all manner of depravity. Things she would never do with you. Things you wouldn’t even think to suggest to your beloved wife. All. Night. Long. Mate.
William found himself gripped by an unspeakable terror. That what Buffy had said that day was true.
I have to know, William found himself thinking. I need to…
Suddenly, he found himself back in his study. On his hands and knees, he was digging the pen drive out of the trash.
For a moment, he just held it in his hand. Staring at it.
What am I doing? William wondered. Again. What the fuck am I…
William found himself opening up his drawer, then stashing it inside. He made sure to lock it and slipping the key into his pocket.
Now, all he found himself wanting to do was curl up in a ball. And forget.
Finally, William returned to their bedroom. Taking the utmost care not to wake Buffy, he got under the covers.
This was usually the part where he'd spoon up against her. Bringing her close to him. Holding her as she loved to be held.
But he couldn't bring himself to. Not tonight. Instead William just lay there. In the dark. Alone. Staring at his sleeping wife.
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