Title: Bittersweet
Part: 23/24
E-mail: Angelusblood@yahoo.com
Author: Tygerlily
Summary: Set after 'The Gift', Dawn's dies instead of Buffy. Buffy and Spike are shattered by Dawn's death and leave Sunnydale. Angel and the rest of the gang try to bring them home...weirdness ensues.
Disclaimer: Not mine! I kinda borrowed them from Joss for awhile...shhh don't tell it'll be our secret.
Rating: R (for now eventually NC-17)
Author’s Note: The songs used in this chapter are by Evanescence. Also this chapter may come across as a tiny bit confusing but I promise it makes sense so if you don’t get something read it again and then if you still don’t get it… well just email me but I don’t think its that bad… I mean I understood it. ;-)
Author’s Note II: This fiction is going to be entirely too long to just leave as one story so I’ve basically broken it up into three different books. And this is the second to last chapter of this book. I hope you’re enjoying it guys… because this only the beginning!
Warning: This chapter is darker than normal. Now especially for Angel supporters or lovers or whatever, this might be a tough chapter for you. I promise its nothing too horrible but this does throw Angel off his game quite a bit… and if you read you will see why.
Call of the Slayer http://www.geocities.com/angelusblood
Chapter 23 – Haunted
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Breathe… Just Breathe… Breathe… But then again you don’t need to breathe do you?
Dark eyes looked around the expanse of space surrounding him but he was met with nothing, not even a glimmer or a shadow. Though he couldn’t see anything he was sure there was another presence within the same vicinity. He eyed the darkness with determined but frightened eyes.
“Long lost words whisper slowly to me
still can't find what keeps me here
when all this time I’ve been so hollow inside
i know you're still there…”
Mahogany colored eyes widened at the sound of the voice, a voice he knew all to well. Straining to see into the darkness his human guise slowly melted away and his demonic visage came to the forefront and even then all he could see was the dark that lay in front of him.
“Watching me wanting me
i can feel you pull me down
fearing you loving you
i won't let you pull me down…”
Suddenly a raven haired beauty could be seen looking at him with wide eyes as the words tumbled from her lips, her melodic voice filling the air. Though soon her face melted away but was soon replaced by images though not forgotten but buried deep inside his mind. The first sighting and the beginning of his obsession, the deliciously sinful gifts he left of courting for her every night.
“Hunting you i can smell you - alive
your heart pounding in my head
watching me wanting me
i can feel you pull me down
saving me raping me watching me…”
More images passed through his eyes, the butchering of her family one by one, night after night as she sat and watch helplessly. Soon the night she fled to the convent came. He watched as she took her holy orders and then followed her to her quarters and with rosary in hand he took her by force and then brought her over into the night. Finally breaking her… or so he thought.
“Watching me...wanting me
i can feel you pull me down
fearing you...loving you
i won't let you pull me down…”
Then just as suddenly the voice and the images ceased and he was once again alone in the dark. His body was trembling and he was covered in a light sheen of perspiration. He knew every horrible atrocity he committed in the past. It was part of the curse he had been forced to bare for more than a hundred years but he’d never experienced anything like that. To relive all of it such a short amount of time in such a quick succession.
Wherever he was he feared that little trip down memory lane was just the beginning.
Breathing heavily unnecessarily he was startled by the soft click of heels on the ground but instantly turned toward the sound hoping to catch a glimpse of something… anything.
“Drusilla…” he whispered
He was met with silence until a small pool of light appeared and the small figure stepped out of the shadows and into the low light.
“Guess again… lover”
The vampire couldn’t hold back the sharp intake of breath when he saw his young Slayer standing before him and though shrouded in shadow she never looked more stunning. Her long honey colored locks fell just past her shoulders and her sun kissed skin glittered in the low light. But it was the small smile that graced her lips that warmed his cold heart.
“Oh god Buffy… what is going on here? Where is here?” he asked fearfully
“Before the dawn…” she said softly
“… I don’t understand. What’s before the dawn?” confusion marring his elegant features
It was then he noticed the slightly glazed look within her usually expressive moss green eyes. She seemed to be off somewhere else… almost as if she were in a world of her own, it was an expression that graced his dark childe’s features more often than not and now seeing the same expression on his golden girls’ face was more than disconcerting. It was down right terrifying.
“Forever gone…”
And with that she began to fade back into the shadows, not willing to be left alone again he went to reach for her but was held fast almost but an invisible barrier he could only look on as she continued to fade into the dark and there was nothing he could do about it. Then suddenly the scene changed and he was in a lavishly decorated bedroom, everything in classic Victorian style… just the way his demon liked things. And at the center of it all was a large king sized four poster bed covered in black silk and velvet. Thought that wasn’t the only things covering it… to young lithe bodies were laid out before him. One with hair dark as night with skin pale as the moon while the other possessed skin that had be kissed by the sun and honey colored locks.
What drew him in were their eyes. Like a siren’s song emerald colored eyes and mahogany colored eyes that matched his own called out to him and he was helpless to do anything but obey. He walked softly toward the bed the only sound that resonated throughout the room were his soft footsteps. Climbing up onto the bed he was instantly wrapped up into their embrace. Long slender yet muscled arms twined around his neck and middle, soft lips began to press chaste kisses along the column of his throat and the hard muscles of his back.
Both urged him to lay back against the soft bedding, he sighed softly when he felt one of the young things climb on top of him as they continued to lay soft kisses to his neck. When she pulled back abruptly his eyes fluttered open and what he saw caused his mouth to open in a silent scream. His Slayer sat above him with a mischievous grin on her face as she smiled around her fangs. Looking through saffron eyes she lunged forward and sunk her fangs deep into his throat.
Strong elegant fingers gripped her back in protest, he tried to push her off but for some reason his strength wasn’t enough. When he realized he let his eyes flutter closed, a lone tear escaped one of his eyes and slide down the side of his face splashing onto the bed linen. The smell of tears hit her nose and she smiled around her fangs while biting deeper into his already torn flesh.
Childish laughter filled the air and it was then he knew how he was going to die but then again the scene changed one more time. He was alone again in the dark, his skin unblemished and broken.
“Are you enjoying our little game?” the voice asked
“Why are you doing this?” he asked brokenly
“Don’t you see? Have you learned nothing from your journey?”
“What am I suppose to see? What I am supposed to understand? I don’t know anything anymore, so why don’t you just tell me?” he asked, his voice cracked with suppressed sobs
“You’ve tried to kill the pain but only have brought more…” the voice answered cryptically
Looking up towards the heavens he asked in a defeated voice something he should’ve asked for long ago…
“Show me…”
And one more time the scene changed around him. He was back in Sunnydale, back at the beginning when everything was fairly right with the world and it was all one sided. There were no grey areas back then, it was good guys versus bad guys and the bad guys always lost, the good guys always won and there was a party afterwards. That’s how it always went…
‘Perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence
just what we all need
more lies about a world that…’
Images again began to flash before him, his first meeting with Buffy and the gang. Their first kiss, their first fight, their first dance, all of it passed before him in the blink of an eye but he could see everything clear as day as though it was happening that very moment.
‘Never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled…’
But then he saw their first time making love unknowingly it would also be their last. He watched on with tortured eyes as Angelus roamed the night for those few months, his return and then his leaving once more. His first nights in L.A. flashed before him also. The finding of Doyle and the eventual death of the Irishman, but what truly took him surprise was the key moments where his maybe relationship with Cordelia came into play. As he looked back he couldn’t understand where his mind was at the time.
‘look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now i know she…’
He could feel someone’s eyes on him as he watched all of this flash before him. He turned to find Buffy staring at him with indistinguishable expression, she gave nothing away, and even her eyes were detached. A unknown breeze gently flowed through her silken strands they whipped softly around her face accenting her beautiful green eyes. If he had breath it would’ve been taken away at that very moment.
“I see you for what you are warrior… watch what is being show to you” she said
‘Never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled
without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie…’
More events flashed before him, the Faith debacle became clearer than it ever had. Though Faith had mentioned sleeping with Buffy’s new boyfriend she failed to mention that she did so in Buffy’s body, now his lost loves’ reasons for revenge seemed more justified than at the time. He couldn’t help but cringe as he watched himself hit her for another. Then his time with Cordelia and the times they began to subtly explore one another’s feeling for each other. By doing this he was being more than a hypocrite… trying to start another relationship with a mortal human when he left Buffy for that very reason.
The sting of his hypocrisy and betrayal began to run through his veins like liquid fire but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. He had to see it all… he had to know it all. All of his past crimes, even the ones he didn’t realize he had committed.
Though as he waited for the images continue, they ceased. Confused by this turn of events he turned back toward Buffy whom hadn’t moved since the beginning of this little presentation. She moved forward slowly saying nothing at first but then just as with Drusilla, cryptic accusations and testimonies began to tumble forth from her lips.
‘i know the truth now
i know who you are
and i don't love you anymore
it never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled…’
The vampire’s knees began to buckle at the onslaught of emotions that crashed through him. He could feel the love she once felt for him and then the anguish and pain of losing him followed by the bittersweet joy that came with gaining him back again. And it continued this way the difference of emotions until the moment he said he was leaving her for a normal life. At first he felt nothing but pain but then soon the pain became rage which in turn became hate. He nearly passed out from the amount of hate that rolled off her and what made it even more sickening was that it was directed at him and him alone. He knew then that she no longer loved him the way he loved her, the way he would always love her. Hanging his head he willed the tears to stay away but his efforts soon became futile…
‘It never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool…’
Sobbing brokenly he felt her move closer to him, he shuddered at her touch but willing looked up, his eyes filled with tears as gentle green eyes looked into his with such sympathy… then it changed.
A growl filled the air and when he looked again green eyes were no longer green but a brilliant hue of gold. Wicked looking fangs gleamed in the low light as the curled around her pink lips. He tried to pull away but she held fast and pulled him close. Staring him directly in the eyes the words that fell on her tongue would haunt him till his last days.
“Will you be denied Christ…”
Rich chocolate colored eyes shot open, struggling to sit up as he gulped breaths of unneeded air. Shivering slightly his hand trembled as they traced the side of his neck searching for any injury. Closing his eyes painfully he flopped back down onto the bed and sighed heavily.
It was a dream… no it wasn’t a dream. It was nightmare.
The images still raced through his mind, every word, every scream, every plea echoed within his mind. Drusilla’s face and words swam through his head along with Buffy and her words. Sitting up once more he crawled from the bed and padded softly over to the window. He was still in New York finishing up some business for Giles and then he was off to follow Spike and Buffy to wherever it was they ran off to.
Though he couldn’t help but be concerned about the dream he just experienced he knew that if he didn’t go after the two blondes he would regret it. In his mind he still believed that if he could get Buffy alone he could convince her to come home, to come back with him, to go back TO him. Whatever awaited him on the rest of this little adventure he told himself that he’d be ready for it… whatever it was.
Though there was one thing that the vampire could never prepare for… no matter how hard he tried, mentally or physically. What was coming his way was worse than any other demon or cosmic evil force…
… And that was the truth and consequences of his own actions that would haunt him till the day he would be nothing more than ash in the wind…
End of Chapter 23
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