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"You have your 'Spike made me angsty' face."

Buffy looked up sharply as Willow walked into their dorm room. "I have a face for that?"

"Oh yeah. If you wanna see it, go check out a mirror."

Buffy frowned. "I think I'll pass."

Willow sat down on the edge of Buffy's bed. "So what did Spike do this time?"

"He helped Giles."

"You're upset that Spike helped Giles."

"Yes. Well, not with the helping part—I'm grateful for that. It’s the why."

Willow shrugged. "He probably made Giles pay him money."

"That's the thing—he didn't. I wondered if maybe he did it to get on my good side, but if that were the case, wouldn't he have made a big deal out of it to me, made sure I was well aware of the part he played?"

"He didn't?"

"No. The only reason I found out was Giles mentioned it. Spike was pretty tight-lipped about what ever happened."

"So he helped Giles for no sort of personal gain whatsoever?"

"Looks like it." Buffy sighed. "Oh, and Anne—his mother."

Willow's eyes bugged. "That was his mother's locket? Buffy…"

"I know, Will. Spike's in love with me. As bizarre as that is, it's becoming blindingly obvious."

"So do you, um, love him back?"

"I can't! I mean, done the whole vampire love thing before, about you saw how that turned out."

"At least Spike doesn't have soul to lose," Willow said with a half shrug.

"No, he has a chip. How do I know if he ever got it out he wouldn't get over all of this and try to kill me—or worse, try to kill one of you guys?"

"It's possible," Willow said. "But the chip didn't make him help Giles. You know, actually, he probably could've killed Giles, seeing as he was all demony."

Buffy frowned. She hadn't thought of that before. Spike had said more than once that he'd kill any one of them if he had the chance. Well, he'd had the chance—why hadn't he done it? "I'm so confused. I'm trying to hate him like I should, really I am, but every time I think I'm there, he does something to turn everything upside down again."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I know I should stay away from him, but it's so difficult. Every time I see him, I melt."

"Buffy, one question."

"Yeah?"

"Where does Riley fit into all of this?"

Buffy looked down. "That I really don't know. I guess I should talk to him, huh?"

"Might be a good idea."

"I'll do that—as soon as I'm done with this mope."

"Want me to leave you alone for a bit?"

"Nah. Stay. I could use some best friend time right now."

Willow smiled. "Best friend time it is then."

*** *** ***

Spike heard a woman scream. He could smell another vampire nearby, and he knew what was happening. He kept walking. Why should be care that someone else was feeding? Not like he felt like killing the other vampire because he was doing something Spike couldn't anymore.

Then, a memory from back when he'd still been tied to Giles's chair flooded Spike's mind. Buffy had read an obituary in the newspaper about a girl who had died from "severe neck trauma." The Slayer had berated herself, feeling as if she'd somehow cause the girl's death by not being there to save her. Giles had reminded her of all the people who were alive because of her, and that she couldn't be everywhere at once; however, the guilt and pain in Buffy's eyes had still been evident. How would she feel if she read about this girl's death?

Spike turned, going back towards where he had heard the scream. He wouldn't let her die. He wouldn't allow something to happen that would put that look of anguish back on Buffy's face. He approached the vampire and his prey. The girl was bitten, but Spike could hear that her heartbeat was still strong, and he was grateful for that. He lit a cigarette.

The other vampire stopped as soon as he sensed Spike's presence. "Get your own dinner," he said, annoyed.

"She's not going to be anyone's dinner—not mine, and especially not yours."

The vampire whipped around to face Spike, and the woman slumped to the ground, crying. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Spike shrugged, throwing his cigarette on the other vampire. "I'm Spike," he said as the vampire's outdated polyester leisure suit caught on fire, burning the wearer along with it. Spike went over to the woman, kneeling in front of her. "You're safe now," he told her soothingly.

She looked at him, wide-eyes. "Was that a…"

"Vampire? Yeah."

"Oh my God. I never thought…"

"New to Sunnydale?" At the woman's nod, Spike said, "This isn't the sort of town you want to be wandering around the cemeteries of at night."

"O…okay," the woman said, trying to process what had just happened. "You just saved my life, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did."

She surprised Spike by throwing her arms around him. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Spike felt a strange reaction to her gratitude. He'd saved a stranger's life by dusting one of his own kind. He'd done the right thing—and he felt good about it. "No need to thank me," Spike said as she pulled away. "Just saw someone needed saving, is all." He helped her to her feet.

"Still, thank you." She added softly. "I wasn't ready to die."

Spike started to tell her to run on home, but then he realized with her open wound, she'd be like a beacon to any other vampires that happened to pass by, and that would make what he had just done pretty much pointless. "Come on, I'll walk you home—make sure you get there safely."

"Thank you."

On the walk back to her house, Spike learned a little about the woman he'd saved. She was a single mother who, following her husband's death, had moved to Sunnydale so her sister could help her take care of her son. She had people who loved her—and people she loved in returned. People who would ache if anything ever happened to her—the way he would ache if anything ever happened to Buffy. He didn't feel guilt over what he'd done in the past—he didn't have a soul after all—but he started to think of people in a way he hadn't since before he'd been turned. Maybe they were more than "happy meals with legs" after all.

"Well, this is my house," the woman said, coming to stop. She looked at Spike shyly. "You can come in if you want."

Spike knew what she was offering, but, tempting as it was, he couldn't. She wasn't Buffy. "Sorry, but I shouldn't. And, um, you might want to watch who you invite into your home from now on."

She looked at him, confused for a second, then said, "Oh, the whole 'vampires can't come in unless they're invited' thing. That's true?"

"Yeah. And you should consider carrying a cross around with you if you go out at night again. Possibly some holy water, too."

"I will," the woman said, trying to blush off her slight embarrassment at Spike's rejection of her offer. "I know you said not to say it again, but thank you. There aren't a lot of people in this world good enough to do what you did tonight."

Spike laughed a little, though he knew the joke would be lost on her. "Just promise me you'll be more careful now that you know what's out there."

"I will. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Spike watched her until the front door closed, then disappeared into the shadows.

*** *** ***

"Thanks for coming over, Riley."

Riley walked into Buffy's dorm room, his nervousness apparent in his ever action. "You said on the phone you wanted to talk. It sounded serious."

Buffy pointed to her desk chair. "Why don't you have a seat?"

Riley sat, fidgeting. "Just tell me now, is it bad? I mean, I thought things were going fairly well between us, but on the phone, the way you said the whole 'we need to talk' thing, it sounded bad. Is it bad?"

Buffy felt guilty. When she'd started this with Riley, she'd had such high hopes for them. She'd never foreseen it going like this—how could she have? "It's bad," she said, watching as Riley's shoulders slumped.

"What did I do wrong?" Riley asked. "Was it because I had to run off the other night? Buffy, I'm really sorry about that…"

"No, it's not that. And I know this is totally going to sound like a brush-off line, but it's the truth—it has nothing to do with you at all. It's something I'm going through."

"'It's not you, it's me?' You're right. That does sound like a brush-off line."

"Riley, I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this."

"Then don't."

"It's not that simple."

"Why?" Riley paused. "Is there someone else?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"It's not anyone I'm really seeing right now, and I'm not leaving you for someone else. It's…it's complicated."

"Do I know him?"

"No," Buffy lied. She didn't think letting Riley know the other man in her life was the "HST" his team had been tracking was the best of ideas.

"What's his name?"

Buffy winced slightly. "Spike."

"Spike? Wait… Fake engagement Spike?"

"Um, yeah."

"So what was that 'engagement' really, Buffy?"

Buffy sighed. "Willow did a spell that sorta backfired and made Spike and I think we were engaged. But nothing really happened then."

"But something's happened since then?" Buffy's guilty look told Riley all he needed to know. "You've been sleeping with this 'Spike' guy behind my back."

"I'm sorry, Riley. I never planned for any of this to happen. It just sorta did."

"I see," Riley said, his jaw tight. "Are you sleeping with him now?"

"No. I told you I wasn't leaving you for him. But what happened with Spike, it made me really confused. I need time to sort everything out. I do like you, and I'm sorry I hurt you. Things just got really messed up. I'm so sorry, Riley…"

Buffy started to cry, and Riley felt his anger melt away—that which was directed at Buffy anyway. She'd hurt him, but it wasn't like they'd been in a long, deep relationship. He'd hoped they were building one, but as it stood, they hadn't even had a full date. "It's okay," Riley said, giving Buffy a small smile. "Just call me if you ever get things figured out and decide I'm what who you want after all."

"I will. I'm so sorry."

"I know. Me, too." He stood, kissing the top of her head. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah, see you around," Buffy echoed. Riley left, and Buffy fell back on the bed, grateful that had gone easily, but feeling even more guilt from Riley's kindness.

*** *** ***

"She was seeing another guy behind your back? Man, that's harsh." Forrest threw the foam basketball, sinking it in the hoop on the back of Riley's door.

"She said she didn't mean to—that things just kind got out of hand," Riley replied, retrieving the ball.

"Sure. Maybe Buffy isn't the woman you thought she was."

"Buffy's a good girl, Forrest," Riley snapped.

"Not to burst your bubble, but she's been making crazy naked sex with a guy named Spike."

"It's not like that! This Spike, he probably just used her, like Parker Abrams. Buffy, she can be so sweet and trusting. Men like that, they take advantage of her."

"Or it could be that you're the overly-trusting one, and you missed that your girlfriend is the kind of girl who likes to get all freaky with guys who would willingly call themselves 'Spike.'"

"No. It's not Buffy. It's Spike. He hurt her. Wish I could get my hands on that bastard."

"What, you want to punch him like you did Parker?"

"For starters."

"You know, this may be for the best. I think Buffy was more trouble that you realize."

Riley said nothing as he made a shot, missing the basket.

*** *** ***

Spike froze when he caught Buffy's scent. He wished she'd stop patrolling in his cemetery. If he thought it would do any good, he'd tell her that he had it under control now. Any nasties that showed their ugly heads on his turf, he'd take care of them. He stood with his arms crossed in front of him, waiting for her to approach him. "Slayer."

"Spike."

"You might as well head home," Spike said. "There's nothing undead causing any problems here tonight." He left out the fact that that was because he'd already dusted the three vamps that had showed their bumpy faces that night.

"Nothing but you?"

Spike smirked. "Yeah, nothing but me. So you planning on finally staking me good and proper, or are you just going to leave?"

"Look, Spike, about what went on between us…"

"Don't. We both had out fun. It's over now." Spike pushed down the pain he felt at saying those words. He wanted to fall to his knees, profess his love, and beg her to give him even a crumb. He didn't. He couldn't. He'd been love's bitch for long enough, and he wasn't going to let Buffy make a fool out of him.

Buffy was surprised at how much the cool tone to Spike's words hurt her. She'd wanted to finalize things between them, make it clear to him that nothing could ever happen between them again, but she'd expected a little more of a fight from him. At least an attempt at seducing her… But he was cold, like he'd never cared for her at all. "Good," she said, forcing a smile. "Glad that's all settled. I'll, um, see you around, I guess."

"Whatever, Slayer." Spike turned and headed towards his crypt. It hurt too much to see Buffy smiling at the end of whatever it was they had had.

Unable to watch him walk away from her, Buffy turned and ran out of the cemetery.

*** *** ***

Riley stopped, crouching behind a tombstone as he saw Buffy talking to a man with platinum blond hair and a long leather coat. Riley recognized him as the friend of Xander's he'd met in the ruins of the old high school a few weeks back. He had been dressed drastically different then, and Riley wondered what the reason for the incongruity was, especially since the way he was clothed now gave Riley a nagging feeling that he'd seen him somewhere else as well.

Riley frowned when he heard Buffy refer to the blond man as "Spike." This was Spike? He looked worse than Riley had even imagined. He thought back to what Buffy had said when she had told him about her "engagement," describing Spike as "way old." Maybe the "way" was an exaggeration, but this Spike definitely looked too old to be hanging around teenaged girls. Riley wondered if his behavior and outfit from before had been his way of throwing Buffy off, tricking her into thinking he was too goofy to be anything but harmless.

"You might as well head home. There's nothing undead causing any problems here tonight."

"Nothing but you?"

Riley gaped at that. Undead? Spike was a vampire? Then it hit him where he'd seen him before. This wasn't just any vampire—this was Hostile 17. Riley's hatred for the man who had taken Buffy from him rose tenfold. He wasn't even a man. He was just a monster. As Buffy and Spike went their separate ways, Riley made a call.

"I've located Hostile 17."

*** *** ***

Spike walked through the graveyard, feeling numb. He wanted nothing more than to turn around, to take Buffy in his arms and say anything he could think of to make her realize how badly he needed her. But he didn't. Buffy didn't want him, and nothing would change that. Besides, it probably was for the best. It was bad enough being chipped without becoming the Slayer's little pet vampire on top of it all.

Suddenly, Spike felt a jolt of pain, and then everything went black.

*** *** ***

Yes, it's a cliffhanger. Aren't I evil?

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