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Disclaimer:
Me: see? He doesn’t want to go!!!
Joss: he has no choice! He belongs to me!
Me: uh, I think the fact that he’s stark naked and is on my bed and has a sign that says ‘Buffy Williams’willing slave’ on it completely disproves you!
Spike: she has a point, you know....
Joss: shut up, you.

AN-----so for the song ‘Angels’ by Robbie Williams, I changed it so that instead of ‘she offers me protection’ it’s ‘HE offers me protection’ because it’s supposed to be about Spike. And also there’s a line in here that’s ‘and when I’m lying in my bed and I feel that love is dead’ I changed it to ‘and when I’m lying in my bed and I feel my love is dead’ why? BECAUSE I WANT TO!

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Dawn burst into Buffy’s room, frantically looking for her sister. “Buffy! We have an emergency! I was sitting in Bello Noche and kids started singing ‘That’s Amore’!! I think Sweet’s back! We have to find who summ-” she stopped when she caught sight of the amulet sitting on her sister’s dresser. “Oh, no....Buffy, what did you do?”

Her sister turned to her with tears sliding down her face. “What I had to.”

“Sweet’s not gonna....”

“No. He’s uh....he’s married, actually. He told me that he would let me sort...things.”

“Well, I see you’re growing out of your ‘vague’ phase.”

Buffy smiled slightly through the salty tracks on her face. “Feelings, Dawn. He’s letting me sort out my feelings.”

“Ah,” Dawn nodded, sitting down on the bed. “Feelings. Damn dangerous things, they are.”

“Yeah. They always kinda get in the way, don’t they?”

“Especially Spi-” Dawn stopped as tears filled her sister’s eyes. “I mean...”

“No, no....it’s ok, Dawn. He always did let his feelings get in the way of things didn’t he? His own damn stubborn, hard headed feelings.” Buffy scowled, thinking of the last moment she had had with her love. “‘No you don’t, but thanks for saying it’? What the hell is that? Not the kind of thing I would say before I died........” she trailed off as it hit her once more that he was gone. “He’s dead....” She stared up at the night sky. “Where are you, baby? Are you an angel?”

Dawn joined her sister at the balcony, staring at the night. “I bet he’s happy.” She smiled wistfully. “He told me, the summer you were gone, that if he wound up going to heaven, that he hoped the people he loved would be there. ‘All except that crazy bitch, Drusilla,’ he said. He hoped you would be there.” She turned her gaze to her sister. “After you came back, he rode around the neighborhood on his bike, making everyone think he’d left. But he walked back, climbed into my room and stared at his hands for....god, I don’t know....2 hours? He asked me if he was in heaven since you were back.” She looked back up at the sky. “He was so good to us, Buffy. I’m sure he’s an angel.”

Buffy stood, silent, before she asked, “Is he watching me?”

Then she began to sing.

I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate my fate
and do they know
the places where we go
when we’re grey and old
‘Cos I’ve been told
that salvation lets their wings unfold
so when I’m lying in my bed
and I feel my love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

Dawn smiled at her sister. That was the first time she had admitted, (at least, when she was awake) that she loved Spike.

And through it all he offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I’m right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won’t break me
When I come to call he won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead.

Buffy closed her eyes and breathed in the night air. If she imagined long enough, hard enough, well enough, she could pretend she could see him on that night they spent together in that abandoned house. She could almost feel his love from where she was right now; separated from him by that pesky thing called ‘death’.

When I’m feeling weak
and my pains walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I’ll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
He breathes flesh to my bones
And when my love is dead

Buffy picked up the picture she had left on her bed, and traced the sleeping face of her love.

I’m loving angels instead

And through it all he offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I’m right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won’t break me
When I come to call he won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

And through it all he offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I’m right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won’t break me
When I come to call he won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead.

*~::~*

Spike watched from the shadows as Buffy sang from her balcony. It killed him to see her crying. Without realizing it, he opened his mouth and began to sing softly.

You’re there by my side everyday
I know that you will not forsake me
I'll give you my life, I wouldn’t think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
I may not say it quite as much as I should
but when I say I love you darlin
that means for good
so open up your heart and let me in.

Spike smiled, remembering the look in her eyes when she had told him that she loved him. She had let him in. If only he had realized it then.

And I will love you
Till forever
Until death do us part
We’ll be together
So take my and hold on tight
And we'll have everything
This I swear

I'm wondering how I ever got by
I've got you in my life to guide me wherever I go
One thing that’s true
You save everything I do, I do for you
I may not say it half as much as I should
But when I say I love you darling
That means for good
So open up your heart and let me in.

And I will love you
Till forever
Until death do us part
We’ll be together
So take my and hold on tight
And we'll have everything
This I swear

Spike took a few steps closer to her apartment as he realized that death HAD separated them, twice. But they still managed to be together. She had been with him after her death, and here they were now....together.

Even if she didn’t know it.

so whenever you get mad
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down, my love (my love)

He lifted a hand to the balcony at the same time she lifted her face to the sky. Her voice joined his as they sang the last lyrics of the song. She never heard his voice, too caught up in her own feelings.

And I will love you
Till forever
Until death do us part
We’ll be together
So take my and hold on tight
And we'll have everything
This I swear

And I will love you
Till forever
Until death do us part
We’ll be together
So take my and hold on tight
And we'll have everything
This I swear

She opened her eyes just as he slunk into the shadows, and he could have sworn that she saw him.

This I swear


And as if it were a note of finality, Buffy closed the window, shutting out the night, but never moved from her position in front of it.

***
That’s my girl.
Looking for angels, just like her.
***

TBC...

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AN----if you could see me, u’d know that I’m doing a little happy dance in my room cuz I got this chapter up!

Review plez!





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