Chapter 15 – Conversations


After staying at the Hyperion for a week, Buffy’s back had healed nicely, and now she was going out at night to help Angel and Cordelia. She knew they appreciated the extra assistance that she gave, but she couldn’t help feeling like a third wheel. She was currently debating the idea of staying in L.A. and finding an apartment. She would still be able to help Angel and Cordy when they needed her, but she could also give them a little more privacy at the same time. Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard Angel’s footsteps walking down the hall.

“Buffy?” he asked, lightly knocking on the door.

“Yeah, Angel?”

“You have a phone call.”

Buffy froze for a minute. The only person who knew where she was staying at the hotel was Dawnie, and she was sworn to secrecy. “Who is it?”

“You should take this, Buffy,” he said before walking away.

Looking at the phone sitting on her nightstand, she seemed to by mesmerized by the flashing light for a moment before snapping out of it and picking up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Buffy? Thank God!”

“Giles?”

“Yes, Buffy, it’s me. I just got a phone call from Wesley, who was very worried about you. He said you’d disappeared about a week ago, and he was trying to locate you.”

“Giles, you can’t tell him where I am.”

“He’s very worried about you-”

“Tell him I’m safe, but Giles, you can’t tell him I’m here.”

“Is there something I should know?” the older man asked in an authoritative tone.

“It’s a long story, ends badly. Just please trust me on this,” she pleaded.

“Buffy, Wesley’s a smart man, much as I hate to admit it. He’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Please?” she asked softly, appealing to the paternal side in him.

“Are you in trouble?” he asked with a sigh.

“No. Not the kind you’re thinking of. I just need a little time to myself. I needed to get away.”

“Alright, but please let me know where you are from now on.”

“I will…I’m sorry for scaring you, Giles,” she said softly.

“It’s alright, just don’t let it happen again. I’ll talk to you soon, Buffy.”

“Bye, Giles.”

Hanging up the phone, Buffy bit her lip, not sure what to do now. She couldn’t keep running away from her problems, but she wasn’t ready to face them yet either. Deciding to wait it out a few more days before she came to any major decision, she got up to begin her daily training session with Angel.

Staring at the phone before she left the room, Buffy let out a deep sigh. “What the hell,” she muttered. Picking up the receiver for the second time, she dialed a number she recalled from memory and listened to the ringing tone. When she heard the voice on the other end, she slowly took a deep breath, hoping to calm her nerves. “Wesley?”

“Buffy, is that you? We’ve been worried sick!”

“I’m sorry, Wes. I just wanted you to know I’m okay.” Buffy stopped and listened as Wesley spoke softly to someone in the background before she heard the static of the receiver begin moving.

“Buffy?”

“Spike.”

“Love, where are you?”

“That’s not important,” she said with an edge to her voice. “Tell Wesley I’m okay.”

“Buffy, please don’t hang up! I miss you, baby.”

Feeling her throat close up, she battled the tears in her eyes. “Why don’t you visit your new girl? She’s obviously more important than I am.”

“No, don’t say that. She’s…”

Trailing off when he heard the click of the phone, Spike clenched his jaw in irritation. “Damn it!” he yelled, throwing the phone against the wall.

“I expect you to pay for that,” Wesley said calmly, never looking up from his inventory papers. “I take it she wouldn’t talk to you?”

“What gave it away?” Spike asked sarcastically.

“Perhaps it would be better if you were to have a face to face confrontation.”

“Well…that’s just splendid, Wesley. And how am I supposed to do that when she won’t even tell me where the hell she is?” his voice going from frighteningly calm to yelling.

“It might be plausible for you to check the caller ID.”

Spike froze for a moment before lunging for the small box sitting on the desk.

“Los Angeles? What the bloody hell is she…Angelus,” he said, his voice dripping with hatred. “Wesley, I need an address.”

“The Hyperion Hotel, leased by Cordelia Chase for the management of Angel Investigations.”

Throughout the entire heated conversation, Wesley never once looked at Spike, which the younger man was beginning to find very annoying.

“And you know this how?”

“It’s my job to know. Angel fights on the good side. One of the few who still does. It’s handy to know who your allies are and where they’re located.” Finally looking up, Wesley made eye contact with Spike. “Are you going or not?”

Smiling when the young man practically flew out the door, Wes slowly shook his head. “To be young again.”

* * * * *

Buffy and Angel trained for over three hours, Angel letting her take out a lot of her aggression from the conversation she’d had with Spike. It had taken him nearly an hour to get that piece of information from her. Now as she was taking out her frustration on a punching bag, Angel left the training room and headed for the lobby to regroup and hopefully begin to heal some painful bruises she had accidentally inflicted on him.

Turning when he heard the door open, he frowned when he encountered a man he’d never seen before. A man who exuded power. “May I help you?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for someone, and I’m hoping she’s here.”

“Spike,” Angel practically growled. This man was the reason he was going to be sore for the next twenty-four hours, not to mention the reason that a woman he cared about was in pain.

Taking in the man in front of him- tall and broad-shouldered, he felt his jaw tense when he took in the shirtless form and loose-fitting black sweat pants. “Angelus.”

Before Angel could respond, both men turned at the sound of a door shutting. Spike stared as Buffy walked out, dressed in a pair of tight black cotton pants and a tiny white tank top.

“Angel, I’m sorry if was too hard on you in-”

Buffy froze when her eyes came to rest on Spike before turning and rushing out of the lobby. Spike took off after her, catching her as she came to the end of a long hallway.

“Love, please wait.”

“Why?” she cried, whirling around to face him. “Why should I listen to anything you have to say? You don’t want me, remember?”

“I never said that, Slayer,” he said, his temper rising. “I never thought it, not for a moment.”

“Oh no…you didn’t have to. You don’t want to be with me, Spike. You don’t trust me, and you don’t believe me, so why should I listen to anything you have to say?

“I love you.” The admission was so quiet, Buffy thought she heard wrong. “I’m sorry. I do trust you. I believe you and I’ve missed you so much this week, and I want you back. Please, baby,” he whispered as he took a step closer to her.

“Spike, you don’t have confidence in me-”

“I never said that,” he replied fervently.

“You didn’t have to. You were too busy chasing after a new girl. Is this some kind of pattern I should know about? Get someone to be your girlfriend and then blow them off when the better specimen comes along?”

“Buffy, I was under some kind of spell!” At her skeptical look he continued, “If you don’t believe me, call Wesley. He’s the one who realized it. Cassidy’s got this mind-control that she’s been using on me. Whatever she’s worked on me, I was incapable of doing what I wanted, which was going after you. Baby, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. Let’s find out who this chit really is and get rid of her.”

“She’s like Drusilla,” Buffy mumbled, before shaking her head to get back on track. “It still doesn’t change us, Spike. You were ready to abandon me for your precious Cassidy!”

“Buffy,” he said in a pleading voice. “That wasn’t me, pet. I was under a spell. This is me…I’m the same person you first met…I’m the same man who fell in love with you and I promise she will never do that to me again.”

“How do you know that?” she asked, tensing up slightly when his arms wrapped around her waist.

“Because I have you,” he whispered into her ear.

Relishing the feel of his arms around her and his lips against her jaw she tried to pull away after a moment as she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It still won’t work between us,” she said softly.

“How do you know that?” he asked, becoming exasperated. “Because I’m the Slayer? Because you’re a vampire? I love you, Buffy and I know you care for me, so why don’t you tell be what it is?”

“It’s both…we’re too different, and-”

“And we’re exactly the same,” he said, cutting her off. “The only difference is our life expectancy.”

“That’s not the only difference-”

“So kill me.”

Buffy gaped at him as he said it. “Wh-what are you talking about?” she asked anxiously.

“Kill me,” he said as if they were talking about the weather. “Turn me…make me into a vampire.”

“You have no idea what you’re saying. You’ve known me for a few months, and you want to spend eternity with me?”

“That’s the idea.”

“You don’t even realize what you’re asking me to do.” Buffy spun around and angrily began to walk away, only to be pulled back and pinned to the wall by him.

“We could be together. Forever. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Not to be alone? That’s what I want.”

“Spike, you can’t ask me this. It’s not fair.”

“Why? It’s better all around. I die…another Slayer is called, and we get to be together. It’s the best way.”

“You’re asking me to kill you! Can you even comprehend what that would do to me? To watch your life slip away because of me?”

Seeing the slight indecision that flashed on his face was enough to stop whatever hope was beginning to well up inside of her that she wouldn’t be alone forever. She couldn’t do it.

“Buffy, I wouldn’t be gone,” he said after a moment, sounding as if he was convincing himself. “My soul would be anchored. You’re proof of that.”

“I refuse,” she said, shaking her head violently. “I couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to, which I don’t! I wouldn’t even know how. It’s not like I’ve ever done that before, and call me crazy, but I wouldn’t want the man I love to be the guinea pig for my first experiment.”

“You love me?”

“You know I do,” she whispered, looking up into his eyes.

Leaning forward, Spike pressed a gentle kiss to her lips before pulling back to look at her. “This conversation isn’t over, lamb.”

“It is for me. I can’t do it, Spike. Please don’t ask me again.”





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