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Thank you, as always!
Now it’s time for some explanations… and there’s a bit of fluff, although it’s still pretty angst, but hold on, please, things will go better! ;)

Chapter 23
( Lyrics from ‘Walk through the fire’ and ‘Going through the motions’, both from the BtVS Musical)

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Angel looked at William as he kicked the wall, cursing for the umpteenth time.
“You know, we don’t know each other that well. In fact, we almost don’t know each other at all, but I’ve always admired you due to two things: how much you cared about the band and how much you cared about Buffy. But now that I see you like this... probably I have been wrong about you!” Angel stated.

William stopped kicking the wall and burst out laughing, but it was a sad, empty and very bitter laugh.
“Spare me the scold, buddy, you don’t know a bloody thing! Do you think that that band is performing there by mere chance now? They’ve been waiting for us to be in trouble to take advantage of the situation. They were my former band, they pretended to be my friends again and then they stabbed me on the back. Wanna know how? They sent those bloody bitches they call girlfriends in a mission to confuse Buffy with fake stuff about me. So, at the first occasion she had she bought all their lies, she didn’t trust me... she checked my mobile out... and she even spied me, don’t you see? I don’t know her like I thought I did... I’d understand if she was a bit jealous, because that’s normal stuff, but she exaggerated, just as...” he rambled stopping all of the sudden.
Angel had listened to him silently, trying to imagine how he would feel if he was in Spike’s position.


“They want the pub? Bloody take it, then! But what right did they have to spoil the thing that I care for the most?” William went on with a low voice and almost tearful eyes.
“Let me guess, now you are gonna head towards the nearest pub and drown your sorrows in alcohol, right?” Angel asked, approaching the blond.
“What are you, a seer?”
“No, I’m just a careful watcher and you are behaving as a guy who is going to get sickly drunk until he barely remembers his name and goes with the first girl his eyes catch a glimpse of!” the brunette explained.
“No, I’m not that kind of man... “ he defended.
“But after you’ve drunk even your soul, you will become that kind of man!” Angel struck back.
“Let’s say I’m gonna do that. How do you think you’ll stop me?” the blond teased him.
“Simple, I’m gonna go there with you, I would keep sight of you all the time long to prevent you from doing something you’ll be sorry for the rest of your life!” Angel answered nonchalantly as they headed to the parking area.

“C’mon, jump in, we’ll take my car, mostly because I won’t let you drive tonight!” the brunette commented.
“I can’t leave my car here; this place is not safe... what if someone stole it?” William got worried.
“Steal that old crock?!” Angel burst out laughing as William threw daggers at him with his eyes, approaching his beloved De Soto.
“Desy, don’t fear, I’ll come back for you tomorrow... and don’t listen to the bloody ponce... he has a terrible taste in cars!” he exclaimed, caressing the hood, and then he got inside Angel’s car, as its owner looked at him as he had escaped from a Madhouse.

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It had been four days since that horrible Sunday, four days that Buffy had done nothing but wallow in self-pity. She hadn’t gone to the University, she hadn’t seen or heard from any of her friends, she hadn’t even left her house, she had barely eaten and she had seemed to have lost interest in everything.
But in that moment she oddly felt like doing something, and this something was to take her acoustic guitar out from its case and play. She held it, realizing that it was still perfectly tuned, so she started pinching the chords, moving her fingers on the several frets. The melody came out easily and so did the words.


I TOUCH THE FIRE AND IT FREEZES ME
I LOOK INTO AND IT’S BLACK
WHY CAN’T I FEEL? MY SKIN SHOULD CRACK AND PEEL
I WANT THE FIRE BACK
I WAS ALWAYS BRAVE AND KIND OF RIGHTEOUS
NOW I FIND I’ M WAVERING
NOTHING SEEMS TO PENETRATE MY HEART
I CAN’T EVEN SEE IF THIS IS REALLY ME
AND I JUST WANNA BE ALIVE

She ended the riff and put the guitar back against the wall.
“Well, Buffy, congratulations, my dear, with this creation the ‘Best Happy Song’ award is gonna be yours no doubt!” she said sarcastically.
She was about to get upset once again, but someone knocked at the door.
Although she didn’t want anyone to visit to her, the girl went to open the door and she found Willow and Faith on the threshold, so she invited them in.
“Buffy, I haven’t bothered you lately, because I thought you needed to be alone, but now I’m beginning to get worried about you. You don’t look very good!” Willow commented in concern.
“Well, I didn’t come to see your show once and I find you like this? What did William do to you? If I find him I’ll beat him down!” Faith exclaimed, crocking her fingers.
“So, you didn’t tell her?” Buffy figured out, looking at Willow who shook her head to say no.
“It didn’t seem fair to me...” the redhead justified.
“In fact, it wouldn’t have been fair; I wanna hear everything from the protagonist’s mouth. So, B, c’mon, tell dear old Faith everything!”

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“So, see, Faith? The one you should beat down it’s me!” Buffy concluded after her tale.
“And he left you just for that? It seems so exaggerated. I’ll look for that stubborn guy and I’ll scold him as he deserves!” Faith swore, ready to go out, but the blond blocked her.
“No, no, you don’t understand, it seemed exaggerated to me, too, but not to him. I. had never seen him like that... he didn’t seem himself anymore... and the last night we saw each other there was such a freezing atmosphere between us that I remembered why I called him ‘Mr. Ice’!” Buffy said, but hers wasn’t a witty remark.
“I’m sure that things will get better with time...” Willow comforted her, trying to give her some reassurance.
“Things don’t change if you don’t help them change!” Faith brought Buffy roughly back to reality. “And if they don’t change, you must react, B!” she incited her.

“But I can’t live without him, Faith. This is not one of the stupid crushes I had when we still were teenagers, remember? I’m in LOVE with him, with capital ‘L’, and I can’t go on like this...”
“Instead of saying you can’t live without him, try to live far away from him!” the brunette suggested.
“What do you mean?”
“On Saturday, Andrew and I are going back to San Francisco. You could come with us and stay there for a while; coming back to your roots might be good for you. We’ll tell Joyce when you are there, I’m sure she’ll understand...” Faith suggested.
“Go back to San Francisco?” Buffy repeated.
“Yes, after all, you aren’t going to University now, and you have no more practices with the band. Plus, I’m not saying it’s forever, just for a while, you’ll decide when you wanna come back here. We haven’t have any trouble to have you living with us, you know, my house is your house, too... although there’s no comparison between your wonderful house... and our hole!” she commented sarcastically, managing to make the blonde smile. “Anyway, think about it, B, ok?” Faith said seriously as she approached the front door along with Willow who had preferred not to interfere.
“I’ll do. Thank you, girls, it was good to talk with you!” Buffy greeted them, closing the door.

She was about to go upstairs to her room, when she heard her mobile ring.
“It’s a confabulation, then!” she muttered, picking it on the sofa where she had forgotten it.
She looked at the display. It was an unknown number and there was only a way to find out who it was.
“Hello?” she exclaimed, pushing the button to answer.
“Buffy, it’s Dawn, you remember me, don’t you? I would have called you before, but you know my brother, he never leaves his bloody mobile! Due to a miracle, I managed to take your number from his phone book and I had to invent an excuse to talk with you freely, because I don’t want him to hear us...” the teenager explained, rambling.

“Dawn, I’m glad to hear from you again. I was sure I had made a bad first impression when we met...” Buffy admitted, thinking about how she had reacted.
“It’s precisely about that that I wanna talk with you about... You must have thought William exaggerated, but I can assure you he has his reasons, but that’s not something I can explain over the phone, we must meet. Please, can you give me the directions to get to your house, so I can come there on tomorrow afternoon, ok? Please, it’s very important, you’ll understand then...” Dawn informed her.
Buffy agreed, telling her how to reach her house and deciding the time for their meeting.
That call had made Buffy very curious.

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The day after, Dawn arrived on time, but when Buffy went to open the door, she found she wasn’t alone.
“Hi, Dawn, Tara, you came, too!” she exclaimed, smiling and inviting them in.
“Yes, you know, as soon as I found out what happened between Spike and you, I asked Dawn to let me come here with her. Actually, Cordelia was supposed to come with us, too, but there was a sudden sale in her favourite boutique... you know her!” Tara chuckled, sitting near Dawn on the sofa, in front of Buffy.

“Buffy, on Sunday I didn’t come to see you on purpose, because I knew it could have ended like that... honestly it was even worse than I expected, especially when I saw William come back totally drunk!” Dawn explained.
“D... dr... drunk?” Buffy stuttered, matching that word with the most scariest consequences.
Dawn seemed to read her mind.
“Don’t be afraid, Angel was with him and he looked after him to be sure he didn’t do anything stupid. Funny, we can say he was his guardian... Angel!” Dawn chuckled, as Buffy seemed to be relieved and she made a mental note to ask Willow to give Angel a huge kiss for her.

“Buffy, the point is, my brother is anything but a womanizer!” Dawn justified him. “Well, you know that William and I are English, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do, it was one of the first things he told me, but I had already figured that on my own by his accent... and yours, too!” Buffy smiled.
“You must know that in London, during his last years at High School, William had a relationship with a girl named Cecily who is a year younger than him. Honestly, I still wonder why he liked her so much, but truth is that he was crazy for this girl. At the beginning I would have sworn she felt the same about him...” Dawn started her tale.
Buffy didn’t like what Dawn related at all, but she was very aware that there must have been some girls in William’s life before her, just as she had her past, although she had never had any serious relationship before meeting William.

“When she finished High School, Cecily told him that she wanted to move to Sunnydale to attend the Law School she had chosen, but she didn’t want to leave William. So, he left London on his first year at University just for her, to follow her. That made our father very angry, it was even worse than when my brother bleached his hair for the first time... I’m sure that if he had had a tattoo or a piercing dad wouldn’t have been so mad at him. Oops, sorry, I changed subjects... Coming back to what I was saying, dad and he had a furious quarrel, Billy came off better, but there was a huge price for him to pay, because dad told him that he didn’t want to hear from him anymore and he left him to face his destiny all alone...”
“Oh, no, poor Spike!” Buffy grieved.
“Yeah, I know, but Billy is very smart. He had some money saved from some summer jobs he had done, and once he arrived here, he immediately found a job to pay his studies. Plus, he works at the University Secretary’s Office, too, that’s why he hasn’t gotten his degree yet!” Dawn explained.

TBC

More explanations (but not only that!) in the next chapter…





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