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Thank you so much, alexandrea and Caitie!!! ;)


Chapter 24
(Lyrics from ‘I’m lost without you’ by blink-182)

“I understand. Well, I admire him even more now. He’s such a smart boy, no doubts about it!” Buffy stated.
“Yes, he is. But there was someone else helping him, right, Dawnie?” Tara made her notice.
“Yeah, right. At the beginning, mom tried to help him with the money, but when dad found out, they split and he left us forever. Don’t think it happened just because of that, truth is they’d been thinking about divorcing and dad was looking for any reason to pull it through.”
“I’m so sorry, mostly for you, Dawn. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father...” Buffy said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Anyway... how did things go with that girl?” she dared to ask.
“Unfortunately for him there wasn’t a happy ending. Their first month together was kinda calm, but then William noticed that she was growing more distant and, you know, he’s not stupid, so he immediately realized that there was something wrong and he made her confess. She said she didn’t feel anything for him anymore, that their relationship had lost all its fire... and she even dared to tell him he was beneath her!” Dawn revealed to her.

“WHAT?! After all he did for her, that bastard ungrateful viper without a heart! Tell me where she is, because when I meet her I’m gonna pummel her face!” Buffy growled furiously.
“I understand your need of revenge, my dear, but I’m afraid you can’t do that. When Cecily left William she ran away with a man named Lindsay, it seems that he was her Law teacher, but I don’t know anything more...” Tara told her.

“Poor William, my poor honey, he must had been so heart broken!” Buffy grieved.
“You bet, he fall to pieces, but his pride prevented him from going back to London. He decided to remain here and start over. He had already met Wes and the others in College and had begun hanging out with them. We met later, due to an optional course where there were no more than ten people attending the class… but I don’t think you care about that story!” Tara realized. “And then, William found Xander, too. He didn’t know he had also moved to Sunnydale. So, they created ‘The Bloody’... Spike told you the rest of that story, didn’t he?” she went on.

Buffy nodded eager to know the rest of her tale.
“That kept him distracted for a while, until, due to reasons you already know, he left the band. The point is that Spike had lost his faith in love, he had closed into himself and sworn he would never suffer again due to a woman...” Tara said.
“That doesn’t mean that my brother stopped dating girls... he still did, but it was nothing serious. Wait. I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong, my brother is not that kind of guy. When I said ‘nothing serious’ I meant that they went out for a date, maybe he flirted a little with someone... but nothing more happened. And none of those girls had the honour of having a second date with him, until you came into the picture, Buffy. You won Billy’s heart, and that’s not an easy task, trust me...”
“Maybe, Dawn, but now I’ve screwed everything up. In my defence, I’ll have to say that I didn’t know what he’d been through. My poor love, my heart breaks thinking how much he must have suffered...”


“There’s another thing you don’t know about Cecily...” Tara warned her, beckoning Dawn to go on.
“Yeah, Buffy, you must know that, at the beginning, Cecily was jealous of anyone that might come close to William, in an almost obsessive way. Sometimes he caught her when she spied him, but he was too dominated by her to argue about that. Truth is that... when you did the same thing...”
“Oh, my God, I must have reminded him of her!” Buffy realized startled, bringing a hand to her open mouth.
“Let’s say that he had a déjà-vu and he couldn’t stand to go through all that again, so he reacted that way...”
“.. because he thinks I might end up being like her, but that is never gonna happen... still I acted as a fool and now I’ve lost him!” Buffy burst out crying.

“No, Buffy, don’t talk like that! You two were born to be together, and I won’t allow your beautiful love story to end up so badly!” Dawn protested.
“I don’t know what you’re planning, but I do know what I’m planning. I want to go away for a while, because I can’t go on like this...”
“No, please, don’t do it... or if you really must do it... you can’t disappear so cowardly, you gotta tell him first!”
“Dawn, he doesn’t even want to see me again, so I imagine he doesn’t want to talk with me either!”
“He doesn’t wanna see you, because he is afraid of suffering again, you have to understand him, but...”
“Do you think I’m not suffering? Just look at me, I’m worn to a frazzle, and if Cordy was here she wouldn’t hesitate to tell me that!” Buffy denigrated herself.


“Dawn is right, you must talk with him, but I didn’t say you have to talk with him face-to-face.. Try to leave a message to him..” Tara suggested.
“You’re right, I owe him that, but I’m going to do more, I wanna do something to impress him, a simple message is not enough. This is the last chance I got to win him back, and if I don’t do this, I’m not worthy of being the Slayer anymore!” she swore.
“What are you planning to do?” Dawn chuckled, happy to see Buffy acting so combative again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
“Will, you were so kind by giving me a ride!” Buffy exclaimed, as her friend waited for the light to turn green.
“It’s not a matter of kindness, it’s a matter of safety, yours! Right now, in your condition, and I’m not talking about the physical one, although to tell you that you’re run down is to tell you nothing; but I mean the anxiety that is devouring you due to what you’re gonna do... well, let’s just say that if I’d let you drive, you would have crashed at the first intersection!” Willow stated. “By the way, are you sure?”
“I am, I just gotta do this. I admit it’s a bit reckless, but for William I’d do anything! He has to hear me and he will, like it or not! Anyway, if the worst came to happen and he doesn’t listen to me... I’ve already packed my bags!” Buffy explained, grieving at the last part, as Willow parked the car.

“I know you so well that I’m not surprised, not even if it’s damn cold and you didn’t even brought your coat!” her friend scolded her, helping her to take her stuff out from the back of the car.
“I don’t wanna wear it, it doesn’t let me move freely, but don’t worry, this won’t take me too long...” Buffy explained, but she felt dizzy and lost her balance, so she leaned on the car.
“Buffy, wassup? Are you ok?” Willow got alarmed, helping her.
“Will, it’s nothing. It’s just that I’m so agitated that I didn’t even eat, and that’s the result! Anyway, I’m fine already!” the blonde reassured her, heading towards her goal.
“Ok, but take care, Buffy! I’ll wait for you here, go and... good luck!” Willow said, getting inside the car.

*****************************************************
“Do you think I’m happy? That I wanted things to go like this?” William exclaimed when his sister opened the ‘Buffy’ topic for the umpteenth time.
“I just think that *you* made this mess, Billy, you must understand that the past doesn’t come back every single time. Anyway, you’re talking about trust... so, did you open yourself with her, telling her what happened before you met her? I bet you didn’t!”
William lowered his gaze, silently and that was enough answer for Dawn.

“See? So, isn’t that lack of trust, too? Tell me!”
“I’ll tell you that it’s late and you’d better go to sleep, Missy!” he tried to change subjects, pointing to the watch that showed them it was almost midnight.
But that meant another thing for Dawn.
“Uff, you sounded like mom just now! Please, Billy, give me a bit more freedom. I’m almost fifteen, so I can stay up until and later than midnight if I want! Anyway, it’s hot in here, isn’t it?” she said, opening the window that was on the street’s side.
That was the signal.
“Hot?! On the middle of December? Are you kidding? Close it immed...”

-- William, remember that talk in my car, when you showed me where you lived for the first time? --

The boy started at the sound of that voice, a more than familiar voice, that came out... just from the street, but he preferred not to go to the window.

-- Well, you’re free to throw me a bucket of icy water if you want, but it won’t stop me... --

“Nibblet, you opened the window and now * due to some mysterious magic*, Buffy is talking to me. And I suppose you don’t know anything about that...”
“Shh! Don’t listen to me, now, listen to her!” his sister made him shut up.

-- If I’m here there’s a reason. I know I have no excuses for what I did, but we can’t go on like this, that’s why I’m leaving Sunnydale tomorrow. Every corner of this town makes me think about you, about us, and I can’t bear it anymore...--

“No! She can’t leave, Dawn, tell her something, make her stay!”
“Me?! Why should I do such a thing? Remember? This is what you wanted, right? So, now you can forget her and carry on with your life!” Dawn struck back. “Anyway, look, she isn’t done talking...” she warned him with a knowing smile.
“Do you mean that...”

-- I’m here to say goodbye to you, because I know that, although you don’t want to show yourself through the window, you are there. So, to say goodbye I chose a song... It’s funny, isn’t it? Everything between us started with a song... and now, maybe everything will end with a song. You know, I’m ready for everything, because I’ve got nothing left to lose, except for you, and I’m lost without you... – she went on, as William listened to her with great attention.

He thought that the girl had already amazed him that first day at the station, but right then he had to admit that he was wrong, because she was amazing him once again with her courage.

Buffy passed the strip of her acoustic guitar over her head and once she was comfortable, she played the first chords of the song she had chosen. Casually, it was a song by their favourite band.


I SWEAR THAT I CAN GO ON FOREVER AGAIN
PLEASE LET ME KNOW THAT MY ONE BAD DAY WILL END
I WILL GO DOWN AS YOUR LOVER, YOUR FRIEND
GIVE ME YOUR LIPS, AND WITH ONE KISS WE BEGIN


ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING ALONE?
CAUSE I AM, I’M LOST WITHOUT YOU
ARE YOU AFRAID OF LEAVING TONIGHT?
CAUSE I AM, I’M LOST WITHOUT YOU

I’LL LEAVE MY ROOM OPEN TILL SUNRISE FOR YOU
I’LL KEEP MY EYES PATIENTLY FOCUSED ON YOU
WHERE ARE YOU NOW? I CAN HEAR FOOTSTEPS, I’M DREAMING
AND IF YOU WILL, KEEP ME FROM WAKING TO BELIEVE THIS


ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING ALONE?
CAUSE I AM, I’M LOST WITHOUT YOU
ARE YOU AFRAID OF LEAVING TONIGHT?
CAUSE I AM, I’M LOST WITHOUT YOU

I’M LOST WITHOUT YOU ( X 2)

The song was over.
Buffy raised her gaze hopefully towards the open window, but not only she didn’t see anyone, but she also found out it was closed now. More upset than she’d ever been, she walked back towards Willow’s car, as the tears that had already began rolling down her cheeks as she sang to him, increased, until she couldn’t see clearly anymore.


******************************************
“I don’t understand. That girl, who is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to you, has just given her heart to you on a silver plate and you don’t do anything, you stay here, still and speechless! How can you be so insensitive?” Dawn scolded him, but William smirked.
“Oh, Nibblet, I’m already doing something, I’m waiting, waiting for the right moment to run to her, because then it will be even more beautiful. If I had done that immediately... it would be so predictable, just like a fluffy sentimental chick flick, and I’m not predictable...”
“No, you’re just evil! Poor dear girl, you are horrible by making her suffer like that...” his sister rolled her eyes in resignation.

TBC

So, are you ready to smile again? ;)
Plus, next chapter will be very, very hot!
After all, I must make you all forgive me… ;)


After all, I must make you all forgive me… ;)

I almost forgot: HAPPY EASTER!!!!





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