Chapter 12
Buffy put the finishing touches on her dress the next night as she
waited for Angel to pick her up. Making sure she looked okay, Buffy did a
little twist for the mirror, watching as the black halter dress clung to the
appropriate curves. The dress had a low cut front and was completely
backless, cutting dangerously low in the back. Even in her tall high
heels, the dress still swept lightly across the floor, with a slit up the
back.
As Buffy finished fixing her hair, which was swept up in a
twist with a few loose tendrils around her face, she heard someone buzz from
downstairs. Glancing out the window, she saw Angel and quickly buzzed
him in, grabbing her purse and her wrap as she headed for the door.
Swinging it open as Angel’s hand was poised to knock, Buffy gave him a
bright smile. “Hey!”
“Hi,” he said with an answering smile. “You look lovely.”
“Thank you.” Buffy turned to lock the door as Angel led her down the
stairs and out of the building.
Twenty minutes later, their car pulled up in front of a beautiful restaurant with ivy and numerous flowers growing along the exterior. Angel offered Buffy his arm as he led her through the throngs of people to get to the front door.
As they entered, Buffy handed her wrap over to Angel to check with his
overcoat as she stared around the building in amazement. The level
they were on appeared to not have a purpose. Instead, the floor split, with
some stairs leading downward, as the rest of level seemed to wrap around the
huge floor below, creating a balcony effect. As Angel led her to the lower
level, Buffy looked at the hard-wood floor with elegantly set tables spread
periodically throughout the vast space. A band was playing on a stage in
the back with a space set aside to use as a dance floor, which a few couples
were taking advantage of.
Angel led Buffy to a table set for eight people. Right before they arrived to sit down, Buffy saw the familiar bleach blonde head sitting next to a blonde woman.
* * * * *
Spike sat at the table, listening to the incessant whining of his date.
“Harm, why don’t you just ask for another drink if you hate that one so
much?”
“Spikey, I don’t think it’s fair that they should advertise it as having
alcohol when it clearly doesn’t.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “It’s a margarita. If you wanted more alcohol, why not
order a straight drink?”
“Eww.”
Spike had to visibly restrain himself from banging his head against the
table. Or hers. That thought brought a smile to his face. Seeing a
movement out of the corner of his eye, Spike turned slightly and saw Angel
heading toward him. Just as he was about to greet him, Spike caught
the eye of his date and froze.
“Hello, everybody,” Angel said as they got to the table. “Looks like
we’re the last ones here,” he continued as he held out Buffy’s chair for her.
Buffy smiled at him and sat down in between Spike and Angel. Under
normal circumstances, this may have been thrilling, sitting between two handsome men, but considering her
history with Spike, Buffy sat rigidly as an older man stood up and offered his
hand.
“I’m Holland Manners. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Buffy shook
his hand and smiled as she was introduced to his wife.
“I’m not sure who you know, Buffy,” Angel said. “So this is Lilah
Morgan.” Buffy smiled at the woman who looked at her coldly. “Lindsey
McDonald.”
Lindsey stood up and kissed her hand. “It’s good to see you again,
darling.”
Buffy smiled as he poured on the charm. “You, too, Mr. McDonald.”
“Oh please,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Call me Lindsey.”
Angel continued his introductions. “This is Harmony Kendall.” Buffy
turned to Spike’s date and offered a curt nod, which went ignored by the
airhead. “And of course you know, Spike.”
Buffy didn’t look at Spike as she mumbled a hello.
Spike, however, leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “Hello, luv.”
The tickling of his breath sent shivers down her spine that Buffy
repressed.
Everyone made small talk for several minutes before a client of Angel’s
came over and asked him to speak privately. Angel excused himself as Lilah
turned to face Buffy. “So, you’ve managed to snag one of L.A.’s top
bachelors for the night.”
“Is there a problem?” Buffy asked with an edge to her voice.
“You’ll have to forgive Lilah,” Lindsey spoke up. “She has this thing
with Angel where she feels like he’s hers.”
“Must be tough,” Buffy said. “To want someone who clearly doesn’t want
you.”
Spike cringed at the obvious meaning of her words before shooting
daggers at Lindsey for what he said next. “Spike, did you two work out your
differences yesterday?”
“That’s really not your concern, is it, mate?” he said in a low voice.
“Differences?” Lilah asked.
“Yeah, Buffy and Spike got into it pretty bad yesterday.”
“Oh really?” Lilah said, looking at Spike.
“Yeah,” Lindsey continued. “Apparently, there’s still a lot of unresolved
tension from the break-up.”
“You dated her?” Lilah asked incredulously.
Spike stayed silent, staring at the place-setting in front of him, while gritting his teeth. Buffy waited for something, any kind of acknowledgement. When none came, she roughly pushed her chair back and walked away.
Angel saw his date moving toward the staircase and excused himself to
chase after her. “Buffy, what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Angel, but I need to go.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing for you to worry about. Thank you for inviting me, but I
think it would be best if I left.”
“Okay, let me get my car.”
“No, that’s not necessary.”
“Buffy, I’m taking you home.”
“Angel, I’m fine.”
Angel sighed. “Well, at least let me call you a cab.”
“That you can do,” she said with a smile. Buffy collected her wrap and turned to see Angel behind her.
“I’m really sorry for leaving, Angel,” Buffy said. “I mean, I agreed to come tonight and then just
abandon you.”
“It’s okay. I just wish you’d tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s really nothing to worry about.”
“I’m guessing Spike fits into the equation somehow.”
“Yeah,” she said softly.
“I’m sorry, Buffy. I never should have left you alone with him. I know
how he can be.”
“It wasn’t anything he said,” she replied, staring out the front windows
of the building. “It’s what he didn’t say.”
Angel stayed quiet for a few minutes until he saw the cab pull up. “Are
you sure you’re okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
He nodded as he escorted her outside to the waiting car. Paying the
driver in advance, Angel held the door open as he looked at Buffy.
“You heading home?’
“Actually, this may seem a little strange, but I was thinking about
going in to work.”
Angel smiled. “You’re all dressed up for a night on the town, and you
want to go to work?”
“I know it seems silly,” she said with a smile. “But I know they’ll be
busy tonight, and working is better than nothing.”
“Buffy, if you want to go somewhere, we can go. You never got anything
to eat- we could go to another restaurant.”
“No, you should probably head back in. I know it’s important to
schmooze the clients at events like these.”
Angel smiled at her and helped her off the curb. Buffy turned before
she got into the cab and gave Angel a soft kiss on the lips. It was sweet,
but there were no fireworks for either of them. With a smile, Buffy got
into the cab. Angel watched as it drove away and turned to head back into
the restaurant, only to be met with an outraged Spike.
“What the hell are you trying to pull, Peaches?” he growled in a low
voice.
“I don’t know what you mean, Spike,” Angel said with an honest expression, as he pushed past him.
“I mean, you bring a girl I dated to an opening you knew I’d be
attending. That sounds like something Lindsey would do, not you.”
“Yeah, Spike,” Angel said, whirling around to face him. “And you better be glad it was me and not Linds, cause you know what? He would have been in
that car with her, trying to get some right now.”
Spike watched as Angel walked back into the restaurant before turning and giving the
valet his ticket. He had to find out some answers.
* * * * *
Buffy quickly changed into her skirt and a pale blue tank top. As she
put on her shoes, she heard a knock at the door. She headed over to the
door and opened it to reveal a very angry Spike.
“How did you get in?”
“Your neighbor was kind enough to open the door for me,” he said,
walking past her into the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
“Please come in,” Buffy said sarcastically. “Don’t plan on staying. I have a cab waiting on me.”
“No, you don’t,” he said, turning to face her.
“What?”
“I said, no, you don’t.”
“Damn it, Spike, what are you doing here?”
“I want to know what you’re trying to do?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said. As she pushed past
him, she felt Spike grab her arm, halting her movements.
“I’m talking about you making your way through the Wolfram and Hart
lawyers.”
Buffy looked at him with disbelief and hurt evident on her face, before her hand came up to slap him sharply on the cheek. ‘Bloody hell,’ Spike thought. ‘Why do you always have to open your mouth, you wanker?’
“I can’t believe you.”
“Tell me I’m wrong then,” Spike said, rubbing his jaw.
“You’re wrong,” she said, jerking her arm out of his grasp. “I have
one date with a guy you know, and all of a sudden, I’m the resident whore?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. ‘Making my way through the Wolfram and Hart
lawyers’ pretty much summed up what you think of me. You don’t even see me as good enough to let your colleagues know that we dated.”
“That’s not true,” he said quietly. “I see you as too good to let them know you dated me.”
“Whatever. I don’t know why you’ve turned into the biggest asshole I’ve ever met, but I’m not sticking around to find out. I’m leaving,” she said, heading for the door.
“Why were you with Angel?”
Buffy spun around to face him. “Because he asked me. What? Is he too good for me, too?”
“Buffy, listen to what I’m saying. It’s the other way around, pet. I don’t know of a soul in this city that’s worthy or what you have to give.”
Buffy took a deep breath as she looked at him, “You know, I
thought this is what you wanted. Figure out what I want before I settle on
anyone. Isn’t that what you said? You didn’t expect me to remain celibate for
the rest of my life, did you?”
Spike’s eyes flashed as a jealous rage flooded through him. He was on her in an instant, pushing her into the wall behind her. “Don’t think for one second you could ever forget about me.”
“Oh, believe me, I know that’s impossible,” she replied, anger dripping
from her words. “Why are you here? You don’t want me. Too busy going out
with your little bimbo to remember I’m alive.”
“Oh, trust me, luv, I could never forget about you.”
“Let go of me,” she said, struggling in his arms.
“What’s the fun in that? I thought this is what you wanted? For us to
be close again? We’re close now, luv,” he whispered as he gently nibbled
on her ear.
“Don’t,” she said in a strangled whisper, rapidly losing the will to argue with him.
“Stop me,” he murmured as his hands slid up her thighs.
Buffy suddenly realized what she was doing and pushed hard against his
chest. “No!”
The second the word was out of her mouth, Spike quickly took a step back and stared at her. He wanted to get his point across, but he wasn’t about to force her.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked quietly. “Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you.”
“Bloody hell! How do you know this isn’t me?!” he yelled angrily. “You don’t know what I’m capable of!”
“You’re not capable of hurting me,” Buffy said with a level gaze.
Spike advanced on her like a predator, pinning her to the wall with a hand on each side of her face. “You sure about that?” he asked in a rough voice.
Buffy looked up into his eyes. “You’re the one who seems so sure of himself. Do something. You wanna show that you’ve got the power? Go for it.” Buffy stared at him, knowing he would never do anything that she wouldn’t want.
Spike clenched his jaw as she called his bluff. He stared into her face, she wasn’t scared or angry, simply looking right back into his eyes with an unwavering stare. Suddenly he began to shake as he realized that this woman had more trust in him than he had in himself. Pushing away from her, Spike took several steps to distance himself, hoping to clear his head.
“There are things you don’t know, Buffy,” he said as he stared at the floor. “You shouldn’t be with someone like me.”
“Why don’t you let me make that decision,” she said quietly, before looking at him in disbelief as realization came over her. “It’s all been an act.”
Spike looked up at her with tears shimmering in his eyes. The look was a vast contradiction of wanting to be loved, but wanting to be left alone as well.
“Everything…from the money to the badass attitude.” Spike watched as fear crossed over her face. “Was it an act with me?”
“What?” he asked in confusion.
“When we were…when you and I…became more intimate. Was it all just an act?”
“No,” Spike said vigorously shaking his head. “Never, luv. I care about you, I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You’ve never let yourself get close to anyone, so you pushed me away before you let yourself go,” Buffy murmured in comprehension. “You tried to get me to hate you. Spike what happened?”
She watched as he just shook his head, walking over to stare out the window as Buffy stood behind him.
“The check?” she asked softly. “That’s your way of dealing with everything, isn’t it? That way you don’t have to get close. You just sign away some money and feel better about yourself because you helped.”
Spike let out a shaky sigh, gripping the windowsill as she spoke.
“But I’m not like anybody else that you’ve dealt with, am I?”
“No, you’re not.”
“I never wanted your money, Spike. I want…I wanted you.”
“Buffy-“
“No,” Buffy said quietly as he turned around to face her. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know there’s a lot that you haven’t told me, that you probably never will.”
“Do you hate me?”
The question was so quiet, Buffy stared at him for a moment. “I hate the way you’ve handled some things, but no. I don’t hate you.”
“I never meant to make you feel like a…I never meant that, Buffy. I really do just want to help you.”
“It’s okay. I know you were just dealing with something the only way you know how, but I don’t need your help. Just don’t let it happen again.”
Buffy had to fight to hold in a sigh as his hand came up to gently caress her cheek. Suddenly realizing what she was doing, Buffy took a step back. “You can’t do this to me again, Spike. It will always end up the same…you
don’t love me.”
Spike looked at her for a long moment before turning and walking to
the door. “I never wanted to hurt you, Buffy. I never should have let myself get close to you.”
Buffy turned to look at him and saw the sorrowful expression on his
face. “But you did. Imagine what we would have missed out on if you hadn’t.” Buffy looked at him and let out a sigh. “I’m not going to put my life on hold just so you can feel better, Spike. I’m alone and I hate it. I’m miserable because I have nothing to look forward to anymore. So I’m sorry if I want to find
someone to be with, but you obviously don’t want me that way.”
Spike listened sadly to her softly spoken words. “You deserve better
than I could ever give you, Buffy.”
“Apparently that’s not up for debate.”
Without another word, Spike turned and walked out of the apartment.
Buffy watched sadly, as he left. Wishing there was some way she could get close to him, without scaring him away.
Spike leaned against the door as it shut behind him and squeezed his eyes
shut as he brought a hand up to cover his face, stopping the flow of tears that wanted to emerge. He didn’t deserve her. Tonight, that point was made glaringly obvious, but why did he have to want her so much?
A/N Okay, I combined two chapters to give my lovely readers more Spuffy interaction-so please review!
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