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A/N Okay, I’m sorry that it’s been a few days, but the reason is- I’m not happy with this chapter. I’ve been re-reading and working on it and I’m still not thrilled, but my beta told me that it was fine, when she read it, so ultimately I know I should post it. I’m still not happy with it, but the story is almost finished and I have three other WIP’s right now (one that I’m not posting until I get at least two finished). So here’s the next chapter- I hope you like it.


Chapter 18


Spike drove for over an hour, looking everywhere he could think of, taking
every possible route from his place to Buffy’s. He couldn’t find her
anywhere. Finally parking around the corner from her building, Spike sat on
the steps, praying she would come home.

After an hour of sitting, Spike heard footsteps approaching. Lifting his
head from his hands, Spike turned his bloodshot eyes in the direction the
noise was coming from. When Buffy appeared a few moments later, he
vaulted from the steps and was by her side before she even recognized him.

Buffy narrowed her swollen eyes at Spike and side-stepped him.

“Buffy, luv, where were you? I looked everywhere.”

“Well, apparently not, because you didn’t find me. That was the idea,” she
spat back. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Buffy, I don’t blame you, but please believe me when I tell you that Dru
and I are over. I told her I’m filing for divorce. Buffy, I told her I was
in love with you.”

Buffy stopped but didn’t say anything.

“I love you, Buffy. I can’t say it enough. I love you, and I want to be with
you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked softly.

Spike watched her as she turned around. The hardened expression was gone.
In its place was obvious hurt and pain of what he had put her through…again.

“If I told you, that would have meant we were serious.” Seeing how upset
she was, Spike quickly continued. “I didn’t want to be serious with anyone.
I didn’t want to love anyone ever again. Dru hurt me, and I vowed to never
be victimized in a relationship…but then I met you. I fell in love with
you, and I couldn’t ignore it forever.”

“Why didn’t you ever divorce her?”

“It was never necessary. We both just ignored the fact that we were
married. That’s why we were separated…she ignored it while we were
together. I caught her with another man. Found out there were several
others throughout the years, and I packed my bags. Buffy, you have to believe
me, I was going to tell you. I just didn’t want it to happen on Christmas
Day.”

Buffy looked into Spike’s pleading eyes and felt her resolve slowly melt
away. “Give me a few days.”

“What?”

“Spike, I understand…at least I think I do, but just give me a few days.
Okay?”

“I can do that, luv,” he said quietly.

Buffy nodded as he stepped forward and planted a tender kiss on her cheek.
Stepping away, he gently trailed the back of his hand over the area still
tingling with his kiss before turning and walking away. Buffy watched him
go before turning and walking into her building.

* * * * *

Buffy let out a heavy sigh as she unlocked the door to her apartment. It
had been a long night at work, and she was sorry that Spike had
stayed true to his part of the deal and given her some time, because she really wanted to see him.

She decided she should call him as she pushed open the heavy door and froze
at what she saw. Outlining the length of the tiny hallway were dozens of
tea candles leading a path to the living room with sprinkles of rose petals
completing the effect. Buffy gasped as she quickly hung up her jacket and
made her way to the room, her eyes widening at the sight before her. Dozens
of candles let off a soft golden glow from every surface of the room with
petals scattered all over the floor. In the middle of the room, Spike stood,
looking nothing like himself. Gone were the clothes and the slicked back
hair. In their place was a nervous-looking man in khakis and a black
sweater. His hair was in its naturally curly state, and he waited with a
perfect red rose.

“I did what you asked, luv. I just couldn’t stay away any longer.”

Buffy felt lightheaded as he walked over to her. “What is all this?”

Spike glanced around the room. “Well, some of it is a long overdue apology.”

“Apology?”

“For everything…for anything. I never meant to hurt you, Buffy. I filed
the divorce papers, and I’ll be free and clear in a few weeks.”

Buffy smiled. “And what’s the rest of it for?”

“A question.”

Buffy stared up at him. “You gonna ask me, or do I get to guess it?”

Spike took a deep breath before stepping close and wrapping his arms around
her waist. “I love you, Buffy. I’ve never loved anyone more. I feel lost
when I’m not with you, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again. I want
to spend my life with you, luv. I want to marry you.”

Buffy inhaled sharply as Spike dropped down on one knee, producing a
beautiful princess cut and white gold ring. “Buffy…will you marry me?”

Buffy could barely form the words as she vigorously nodded her head. “Yes!”

A smile spread on Spike’s face as the nervousness fled from him. He gently slipped the ring on her finger before standing and picking her up in his arms, spinning them in circles. When he stopped, Spike claimed her lips with his, smiling as Buffy moaned into his mouth at the long overdue contact. With a sweeping motion, he quickly lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, his lips never leaving hers.

Spike set her back on her feet, quickly stripping her of her clothes as he his lips trailed down her jaw to her neck. Buffy gasped as she felt his tongue circle a nipple, before he rose and gently pushed her back onto the bed. Buffy briefly wondered when he had gotten rid of his own clothes, but the thought fled her mind as he grasped her hips and rolled them. Buffy giggled as she found herself straddling Spike, leaning forward to give him a soft kiss as she raised her hips and slowly lowered herself down onto his hardened length.
Both moaned at the sensations that coursed through their bodies as they moved together. Spike kept a firm hold on her hips as she moved on top of him, clenching his jaw to maintain a small semblance of control.

Buffy saw a brief smile flicker over his face as he watched her arch her back, impaling herself even further on him as her movements picked up.

Spike heard the tiny whimper as it left her throat, knowing that she needed release as badly as he did. Loosening his hold on her hips, he let one hand slowly trail over the soft skin of her thigh to settle in between them. Buffy gasped as she felt his fingertips slowly graze over her flesh, moving faster as she tried to reach her climax.

Before Buffy could fully comprehend what he was doing, she saw stars burst in front of her eyes as he gently pinched the sensitive bundle of nerves, falling over the edge as she screamed out his name in release.

Spike smiled as she fell forward onto his chest, her body limp, but her hips still rocking against his, obviously enjoying the aftershocks of the sensations he was causing. Spike pushed into her a few more times before he wrapped his arms around her tiny body, holding her in a crushing embrace as he came.

Coming down from the bliss that they were feeling, Buffy slowly raised her head, planting her chin on his chest. Spike tried to calm his irregular breathing as they stared into each other’s eyes.

Leaning forward, Spike planted a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too, Spike.”





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