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Chapter 10


One Year Later


Buffy grasped Spike’s hand in a forceful grip as she watched her mother’s
coffin lowered into the ground. Spike felt the emotions weighing him down
as he tried to remain strong for her. He knew the feelings that were
coursing through Buffy, having experienced them years earlier when his own
mother died. He was becoming increasingly worried about his girlfriend,
since she had yet to cry in the few days that had passed since she came
across her mother’s body.

Now, as she stared down at the ground with an impassive look on her face,
Spike felt his heart go out to her, wishing there was more he could do
besides hold her hand. Everyone else said good-bye and left the couple
alone. Spike stayed quiet for over an hour as he offered his support. As
the sun set on the cemetery, he gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders,
trying to keep her warm against the chilly September air.

“We should probably go, luv,” he whispered softly into her ear. He watched
as she tightened her lips slightly before nodding in agreement. “Do you
want to be alone for a minute, pet?”

Buffy nodded again as he gave her a gentle kiss on the temple and walked
away to stand next to a nearby tree and wait for her. He could only see her
back as she stayed where she was, but he could hear the gentle murmurs of
her talking. After a few minutes, she turned and made her way over to Spike,
silently taking his hand and walking out of the cemetery with him.

“I should have been there, Spike,” he heard her whisper.

“There’s nothing you could have done, luv.”

“You don’t know that,” she said in a strained voice. “You don’t know if she
was in pain, if she needed help.”

“Buffy, she’s been battling a tumor for the last six months. The doctors
said that it was quick, painless.”

“How do they know?” she yelled as they got to the front gates. “They
weren’t there!”

Spike stayed quiet through the outburst, satisfied that she was no longer
showing her despondent attitude.

“What am I going to do, Spike?”

His heart broke at the tone of her voice, sounding like a lost little girl.
Reaching out, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tight, running his
fingers through her hair as she clutched at his shirt.

“You’ll figure it out, baby,” he replied softly. “You’re not alone in this.
You have your friends and my dad. And you have me.”

Spike kissed the top of her head, staying where he was as he closed his eyes
against the tears that were fighting to overcome him. He breathed a small
sigh as he felt moisture soak through his shirt and heard the tiny sobs
coming from the woman in his arms. Buffy had matured more in the past
twenty-four hours than she had in the past year, and Spike felt relief course
through him that she was finally letting go.

He held her, stroking her hair, as she cried. As darkness closed in on
them, Buffy slowly pulled away and looked up at her boyfriend. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, luv. That’s what I’m here for,” Spike said, tenderly
kissing her forehead.

“I don’t want to go home tonight, Spike. I-I can’t be there right now.”

Spike nodded in understanding. “Right then. My place it is.” Wrapping a
secure arm around her waist, Spike led her out of the cemetery to his car.

* * * * *

Buffy moaned as the pleasure washed over her, enveloping her cold heart and
warming it as Spike moved on top of her.

After getting back to his place, she had proceeded to lead him to his
bedroom, asking if he could do this for her. Spike had taken one look in
her large, watery eyes and melted, instantly knowing that she needed to
forget about this awful day, if only for a little while.

Spike gasped for air as he rolled off of Buffy, pulling her into his arms
and tenderly caressing her bare skin as they both savored the calmness that
seemed to surround them. “Go to sleep, baby,” he whispered softly in her
ear. “It’s been a long day.”

Buffy mumbled something in reply that Spike didn’t understand seconds
before she drifted off to sleep.

Spike stayed awake, watching her as she slept. He gently trailed his hand
over the smooth expanse of her back as he stared at her peaceful face. He
was happy she’d been able to get to sleep, knowing that the next few weeks
were going to be hard on her.

They had tried to find her father, but it seemed Hank Summers was in Europe
with his secretary and could not be bothered with his only child. Spike
knew that it had hurt Buffy more than she was willing to admit, not having
her father there. Even if he was a deadbeat.

Spike was worried about Buffy. When his mother had been killed by a mugger
years ago, he had at least had a supportive father who had helped him work
threw his grief. Spike was worried that he didn’t have what it took to get
Buffy through this. With a sigh, he decided not to worry about anything
tonight, instead giving a last kiss to Buffy’s forehead and drifting off to
sleep.





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