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Chapter 12


With trepidation, Buffy walked into the Magic Box on Saturday. She had
called in sick for the past week, partly because she couldn’t bear the
thought of seeing Spike since he hadn’t called, and partly because she
was feeling sick at the idea of seeing him again. Willow had dropped by in
the supportive, best friend role and told her that Spike had been working
but was quieter than usual.

Now, as Buffy walked through the door of the Magic Box, she felt a wave of
anxiety wash over her as she surveyed the store. Giles looked up from his spot
at the cash register and smiled as he saw Buffy walking toward him.

“Buffy, you’re feeling better, I presume?”

Buffy gave a light shrug, still looking around the store.

“He isn’t here, Buffy.”

Her head snapped up to meet Giles’ concerned eyes. “You know?”

He nodded as he gave a sympathetic smile to the young girl. “He asked
to be put on opposite shifts.”

Buffy felt her breath catch and had to fight the urge not to retch as
she heard what he said.

‘So it’s really over,’ she thought miserably as she turned away from
the man in front of her. ‘He really doesn’t want to see me anymore and it’s all my fault.’

Buffy quickly made her way to the office to clock in. Closing the door
behind her, she felt tears threaten to spill over. Hearing a knock
on the door, Buffy turned and once again faced Giles' sympathetic face as
he entered.

“Buffy…may I ask what went wrong?”

“Me,” she whispered in a choked voice as she looked at the floor. “It
was me. I, um, I’ve been ignoring him…blowing him off, for the last few
months. I didn’t want him to be depressed by my mood swings, so I thought it
was best that he not be around me. Guess I got my wish, huh?” she asked
with a regretful smile.

Giles didn’t say anything, merely stepped over to her and gave her a
hug. Buffy fought tears again as a man who was closer to her than her own
father offered comfort.

Pulling away, Giles looked down at her. “Buffy, would you like me to
talk to William?”

Buffy shook her head. “No…thank you, but no. I dug my own way in this
mess. I deserve whatever I get.”

“Buffy, that’s not true. You-“

Giles cut himself off as Anya Jenkins swept through to clock in.

“Hello, Giles,” she said cheerfully as she passed him. “Oh, Buffy,
you’re back. You look like death. Are you getting enough sleep? Or sex?
You know, people take for granted the wonders of what a sexual
relationship can do for your appearance. Don’t you agree Giles? Giles?”

Buffy suppressed a smile as Anya turned to the place Giles had been
standing. “I think he slipped out at the first mention of sex.”

“Such a shame,” Anya said with a shake of her head. “You know, I don’t
think he’s getting any these days, either.”

Anya quickly clocked in and started for the door again. “I hope you
clocked in, Buffy. Money is another thing that does wonders for your
appearance. Only it’s for the monetary value of clothes and skin care products that
you can purchase…”

Buffy tuned out Anya’s rambling as they headed back out into the store.
Excusing herself, Buffy walked to the back of the store and began
straightening some of the objects back there, her mind preoccupied
with thoughts of Spike. She felt miserable at the thought of him not even
wanting to be in the same area with her for prolonged amounts of time.

“You really screwed this up, Buff,” she muttered to herself.

* * * * *

The hours dragged on as Buffy looked at the clock.

“Buffy.”

Buffy turned as Giles called her name.

“It’s close enough to three o’clock. Why don’t you go on and head home?”

Buffy gave a brief nod as she went and gathered her coat. Saying
good-bye to Giles and waving to Anya, Buffy decided to go out the back door. If
Spike didn’t want to see her, she may as well make it easier on him.
Adjusting her coat, Buffy stepped through and closed the door at the
same moment the main door opened.

Spike looked around the shop, hoping and dreading that he might run
into Buffy.

“She’s not here.”

Spike jumped at the sound of Anya’s voice to his right. “Who’s that,
luv?”

“Buffy. Don’t play dumb with me, Spike. I know you’re looking for
her, just like I know you’re the reason she was Miss Gloomy-Gus all day
long.”

“So she was here?”

“Just left,” Anya said as she dusted the various items on the front table.
“Went out the back. Guess she knew you didn’t want to see her.”

Spike felt a stab of remorse for obviously adding to Buffy’s misery.
“She said that?”

“No. Didn’t say much of anything really. Just did her work and went
home. She’s not looking well these days.”

Spike looked down at the floor, trying not to feel any more guilt than
he already did. “But she’s okay, right? I mean, she didn’t look…bad?”

“Spike, it’s Buffy. She couldn’t look bad any more than I could.”

Spike had to smile at that.

“But she’s not happy, if that’s what you’re asking. She didn’t even
listen to my stories of the wonderful orgasms that Xander gave me last night.
You know, considering we’ve only been together for a year, we have amazing
sexual chemistry, as if we’ve been together for years.”

“Uh, right. Well…I better get to work,” Spike said, darting across the
store to the office and out of the line of fire that was Anya’s mouth.

“What is with people today?” Anya asked herself.



A/N Sorry for the short chapter, but the next one is still being re-worked and it’s long, so hopefully that will make it up to you! Also, for those of you who read “Secrets of the Heart,” there will not be an update today. Sorry, to everyone who looks forward to that story, but I’ll try and have one tomorrow.





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