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Chapter 17


Buffy pulled on her black jogging pants and a white maternity tank top later that
night. She was exhausted after a long night at work and her
confrontation with Spike, and she was looking forward to crawling into her bed.
Halfway up the stairs, she frowned when she heard a soft knock on the door. It
was after midnight, and Buffy definitely wasn’t expecting anyone. With a
sigh, she walked down the stairs, ignoring the residual pain that was
shooting through her lower back, and opened the door. Buffy was shocked at
seeing Spike standing on the other side, his hands braced against the
doorframe, shoulders slumped, eyes downcast. He looked horrible.

“That was fast,” Buffy said softly as Spike raised his eyes to hers.

“Why weren’t you going to tell me, Buffy?”

Buffy sighed. “Come in, Spike. This isn’t the kind of conversation to
have on the front porch.”

Spike walked through the house and dropped onto the couch in the living
room, putting his elbows on his knees. Buffy followed him and decided
to sit in the chair.

“I was going to tell you,” she began softly. “Just not until I was about to have…the baby. I didn’t want you to worry about something that’s my responsibility.”

“I thought we were careful,” he said quietly, looking deep into her eyes.

“Not that last time…I, um, I kind of stopped taking my birth control
after you left. It’s not that safe for the body, and I figured I’d give
myself a break from it since there was no reason to be taking it, but Spike I honestly forgot.”

Spike nodded, the same bewildered look still on his face.

“Spike, I didn’t do this on purpose. You have to believe me…that’s
another reason I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want you to think I was
trying to rope you back into a relationship with me just because I was
carrying your baby.”

“I know,” he whispered, still not looking at her. “Who knows?”

“Not many, just those who’ve seen me recently. Willow, Xander, and…I
told your dad.”

Spike’s gaze shot up to meet hers. She could see the rage building
under the surface but maintained eye contact. “You told my bleedin’
father?!”

“He’s the only grandparent this baby will have,” Buffy replied quietly,
looking at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “I thought he should
know.”

“But not the father, is that is?”

Buffy raised her eyes to his. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Spike took several deep breaths, controlling his erratic breathing.
“I’m sorry too, Buffy,” he said, his voice returning to the normal tone.
“You’re right, he should know. I just figured he would have clued me in, is all.”

“He was just doing what I asked, Spike. Don’t be mad at him, you should be mad at me.”

“I should be,” Spike said with a nod. “But I’m not.” He slowly stood up to begin pacing around the living room. “Boy or girl?”

The question shocked Buffy. “What?”

“Do you know yet?”

Buffy gulped. “That’s kind of the other thing I was needing to tell you.”

Spike stopped his pacing to turn and face her. “There’s nothing wrong,
is there?”

“No,” Buffy said shaking her head. “Not for me anyway. I-I’m not sure
how you’ll react.”

Spike came to crouch in front of Buffy. “What is it, pet?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “I’m having twins.”

The look on Spike’s face would have been comical if the situation
wasn’t so serious. “Twins?”

“A boy and a girl.”

Spike stared at her in shock for another moment before fusing his lips
with hers. Buffy jumped at the sudden feel of his mouth on hers, his
fingers running through her hair. The kiss wasn’t passionate- it was needy and
reassuring at the same time. Spike broke away, not removing his hands
from her hair, as he looked into her eyes.

“You’re having my babies.”

For the first time that night, Buffy saw a genuine smile playing on his
lips as she nodded. “I am.” Pushing him away as he went in for another
kiss, Buffy jumped from the chair and walked to the center of the room,
hugging her arms around the expanse of her swollen belly.

“Buffy?”

“I’m not looking for sympathy, Spike.”

“That’s good, luv, because I wasn’t giving any,” Spike said, coming up
behind her to gently rub her shoulders.

“This isn’t an open invitation to get back together,” she said softly, tears in her eyes, her mind screaming at her to just continue kissing him and pretend the last year had never happened.

Spike turned her around to face him, tilting her watery eyes up to look
in his. “And why’s that, baby?”

Buffy held his gaze as she replied, “Because if we were to get back
together, I would always know that it was because I was having your
children…not because you actually want to be with me.”

“That’s not true, Buffy.”

“Really?” she asked disbelievingly. “So you would be here tonight, even if I
wasn’t pregnant? You would have walked through that door, stood in front of
me, and kissed me if you’d just run into me?”

Spike stayed quiet, his mouth opening slightly, no sound coming out.

“That’s what I thought,” Buffy said quietly. “I’m not looking for someone to take care of me, Spike. I can do that just fine on my own. But I do want you to see your children.”

“And I don’t have a say in this?”

“No…not when it’s me. You can have all the say you want when it comes
to these babies.”

“Buffy.” Spike reached up to gently caress her cheek as Buffy side-stepped him.

“No,” she said firmly. “This isn’t open for debate.”

Spike looked at her pain-filled eyes as he nodded. Buffy walked him to
the front door as he turned to look at her. “You’re not working at that
burger place, Buffy.”

“Spike, I have to. I need the money.”

“I can get money. You’re quitting tomorrow.”

“Spike-“

“Buffy, I’ll talk to my dad. I’m sure he’ll let you back on staff at
the Magic Box.” When Buffy didn’t say anything, he continued, “Please. I
want you to be safe, and I don’t like the idea of you working at that place.”

Buffy sighed and nodded. “If Giles says it’s okay…I’ll come back.”

Spike dropped a tender kiss on her forehead, noticing the tension in
her body as he did. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, luv.”

Buffy nodded as she closed the door behind him, allowing the tears to fall. She wanted him so much, but she didn’t want the babies to be the reason.

Spike stood on the front porch, staring at the door for a minute, a
smile playing on his lips. ‘Just wait, Buffy,’ he thought. ‘We’ll be happy again. Just wait.’





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