Chapter 11


Spike walked toward his brother’s house later that night with a heavy
heart. He would be moving out tomorrow, and it wasn’t soon enough. Xander
had given him a job at his construction company, and Spike would be renting
an apartment closer to Buffy. At the time, that had seemed like a good
plan. Be close enough to see her whenever he wanted, build a friendship or possibly more. Unfortunately, like most of his plans, this one had backfired on him.

Spike was so lost in thought as he stepped through the door that he didn’t
even see the fist that landed squarely on his nose.

“Bloody hell!” Spike yelled as he was propelled backwards. He managed to
remain standing as his hand went up to the blood that was now pouring from
it. Looking ahead of him, he saw a very angry William. “Bugger,” he
muttered as Will pulled back and landed another solid hit to his jaw.

Spike went into action as William pulled back again, landing a hit to his
stomach before Spike quickly stepped out of range. “Alright, you got your licks
in,” Spike said, inspecting his nose again, keeping the distance between them.

“You pretended to be me, didn’t you?” William asked angrily, circling his brother.

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself. You know she’s wanted me from the moment she
laid eyes on me. If you don’t believe it, why don’t you check out a mirror
and take a look at your makeover? You obviously realized it, since you
turned into my mirror image. It was just a case of mistaken identity…that’s
all.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” William growled.

“It means I was under the impression that she knew it was me. I can give
you a detailed description, if you don’t believe me.”

“No,” Will said through clenched teeth.

“Besides, you two broken up, now.”

“Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I don’t still love her.”

“Oh, that’s bollocks, and you know it. You’re just angry because I got her,
and you were left high and dry.”

“Yeah? Was it all part of the plan to get her to hate you for telling me
about it?”
“Oh, give it a rest, Willie. She might hate me right now, but she wouldn’t be crazy about you either.” At Will’s look, he continued. “Yeah, you forget, big brother, I know you almost as well as you know yourself.”
“Shut up, Spike.”

Spike sighed. “Look…for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have
told you like that, alright?”

“You know what, that doesn’t matter. The point is, you slept with my
girlfriend! You knew she was going out with me, and you knew that I loved
her!”

“Yeah, and I also knew she didn’t love you! Face it, Will, for once in your life, I was able to get something that you wanted before you, and it’s killing you. I have no doubt that you loved her, mate, and I do feel bad for sleeping with her when I knew she was with you, but I wouldn’t take it back. I care about her, too,” he said softly. “I know you’re not in love with her, Will, no matter how much you love her, I know you don’t want to spend your life with her. If you did I wouldn’t have seen you chattin’ up that Anya bird every night that I’ve been to the Bronze in the past two weeks. How long has that been going on?”

“There’s nothing going on, Spike. She’s a friend, that’s all.”

“Yeah? Did you tell Buffy how friendly you got the other night?”

“She just kissed me goodnight, Spike. She’s an affectionate woman, that’s
how she was saying good-bye.”
“Yeah, it looked real affectionate, what with her tongue in your mouth and all.”
Will stayed quiet as he looked down at the floor.

“So you did tell Buffy?”

“No,” William admitted quietly. “I couldn’t get mad at her for sleeping with you, when I did something with more conscious thought than she did.”

“So…you were feeling guilty.”

“Maybe,” William admitted quietly.
“Do you want to be with Buffy?” Spike asked, holding his breath as he waited for an answer.
“I did. Things have just been brought to the surface…I never wanted to cheat on her.”
“And she never wanted to cheat on you. You know that right? This is all my fault, I’m taking full blame, so don’t get mad at Buffy for something I did.”
“I’m not mad at her. I don’t even think I’m that mad at you, except when I thought you purposely pretended to be me. You know…when I heard that you two were together…it was almost like hearing two of my friends slept together. There was nothing…no jealousy, no anger…okay, maybe a little bit of anger.”
“Look, Will, I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Spike said softly. “There was
just something about her that seemed to draw me in, and I couldn’t get her
out of my mind.”

“She has a tendency to do that,” William agreed with a slight smile.

“I never intentionally set out to hurt you…that’s not why I came to town. Yeah, I did want to show you up and I shouldn’t have blurted out the truth like that, but you are my brother. Even if we don’t get along most of the time. And I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me again, can’t say I’d blame you, but I didn’t do it to hurt you. You do believe me, don’t you?” Spike asked worriedly.

William hesitated for a moment before nodding.

Spike went to sit down on the couch with his brother following behind him to
sit in the chair. “I’ve really screwed up, mate,” Spike said quietly.

“I’ll say.”

“Just when you think my foot can’t get any more wedged in my mouth, there
goes the other one in there, too.”

William smiled slightly, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward.
“Were you at her place?”

Spike nodded. “Tried talking to her. It didn’t go well.”
“Do you love her?” William asked quietly.

“I could,” Spike admitted with a slight nod. “I really could.”

“That’s a big step for you,” William said, looking into his brother’s eyes.

“Don’t I know it.”

* * * * *

Buffy heard a knock on the door the next morning and sighed as she went to
answer it. Opening the door, she saw William standing there in his khakis
and blue button-down shirt. “Can we talk?” he asked quietly.

Buffy nodded as she opened the door a little wider, allowing him in. Both
walked over to the couch and sat down. William looked over and saw Buffy
nervously wringing her hands together and avoiding his eyes.

“I’m not mad,” he said softly, causing Buffy to raise her eyes to his.
“Don’t get me wrong- I’m not thrilled, either, but I’m not mad.”

“How can you not be? I slept with your brother!”

“Yeah,” William said with a nod. “And I kissed another woman that I’ve practically been dating for the last week.”

Buffy froze at the admission. That was the last thing she expected to hear,
but she found her curiosity peaked as she looked at him. “That’s not
exactly the same thing, I think I’m probably beating you in the guilt department.”

“Maybe,” William said, with a soft smile. “But we both kept things from each
other because we were guilty.”

“I’m so sorry,” Buffy whispered, looking down at her hands.

“Buffy, did you want to hurt me?”

Her eyes snapped up to his as she vigorously shook her head. “No! I never
wanted that. I just…it just happened and…”

William seemed to hesitate before asking the next question. “You were going
to sleep with me that night?”

Buffy glanced down as she felt tears fill her eyes. “I was,” she said
quietly. “I know it’s horrible, and you probably think I was just going to
use you, but I swear, I just wanted to make it better between us.” She
let out a mirthless laugh as she shook her head. “Didn’t really work out that
way, did it?”

William smiled. “Things happen for a reason, Buffy. You and I just weren’t
cut out for the long haul. Do you love him?” he asked, repeating the same
question he’d asked his brother the night before.

“I don’t know,” Buffy said quietly as she dropped her head into her hands.
“I wish this all wasn’t so complicated. I wish that I could just forget
about him or that you and I could have been in love with each other.” Both
stayed quiet for a minute before Buffy raised her head to look at him.
“I’m not going to be with him, Will. I owe you that much. I don’t want to
hurt you anymore. I never wanted to hurt you.”

William calmly took her hand in his as he looked into her eyes. The eyes
of the woman he loved, even if Spike was right, it wasn’t in a romantic context. Taking a
deep breath, he spoke, “I think you should give him a chance, Buffy.”

“What?” she asked, looking at him incredulously.

“I want you to be happy.”

“William, I’m not going to be happy knowing that I made you miserable by
something that I did.”

“Buffy…you two have already shared something that we never shared. As
horrible as it may sound, I’m moving on. I have a date for this weekend.”
Buffy looked into his eyes before uncontrollable laughter erupted from
her. William smiled as well. “I didn’t think my having a date would be that
funny.”

“It’s not,” Buffy said, trying to control her laughter as she shook her
head. “It’s just…what the hell are we doing, Will? We had a good
relationship just a few short weeks ago, and now we’re sitting here like
we’re best friends, talking about their potential new boyfriend or
girlfriend. It’s just ridiculous!” she said as another bout of laughter
came over her.

William joined in, shaking his head. “We are definitely a living soap
opera, aren’t we?”

Buffy tried to control her laughter as she nodded. “We really are.”

William stood to leave as Buffy stood, as well. He stared at her for a
moment before speaking. “I really think you two would be good for each
other, Buffy,” he said seriously.
“You are the last person I would have expected to say that to me.”
“Hey, I’m not crazy about the idea, but I know Spike. He’s a good man, even if he tries to hide it.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said softly before stepping forward and hugging him. “I
really do love you, you know that, right?” Pulling away from him, she
smiled. “Just not…you know…that way.”

William chuckled. “I know. I feel the same way.”

“Thank you, Will.”

“For what?”

“For being my friend.”

* * * * *
Buffy was dressed in her black jogging pants and tank top, doing her warm-up
stretches the next day. She was about to go out for a jog when she heard a
knock on the door. Jumping up, she quickly pulled her hair into a sleek
ponytail as she went to answer it and gasped at what she saw.

“Buffy Summers?”

“That’s me.”

“Sign here.”

Buffy signed where indicated and was handed a huge floral arrangement of red
roses and daisies. The display was so big, Buffy had to walk sideways to
see where she was going.

Setting them down on the end table, Buffy pulled the card from its holder
and looked at it. She had to smile at what she saw. Written undeniably
in Spike’s handwriting was a simple message:

‘Forgive me, luv’

Underneath the message was a frowny face. Buffy sighed, putting the card
back in the holder, as she turned to go out for her run. Turning around, her
hand went to her heart as she realized she left the door open. However, it
wasn’t the door that startled her, it was the man standing there.

Buffy stared at Spike as he stood looking rather uncomfortable.

“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked softly.

“I owed you an apology…a big one.”

Buffy crossed her arms across her chest as she looked at him. “Have you
talked to William?”

Spike gestured toward his swollen face with half a smile. “Last night.”

“It went that well, huh?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Better than expected.”

“Meaning?”

“It was his idea to send you the flowers.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she stared at him. Spike took several steps
forward, biting his lip and looking down at the floor. “I’m not asking for
a lot, Buffy. I know I was a pillock last night, and I am sorry...but I’ve
talked to Will, and he seems okay with it. I want us to start over.”

Buffy tilted her head slightly as she studied him. “What do you mean by
‘start over’?”

Spike pulled his hand from behind his back, revealing a beautiful white
rose. “I want to go on a date. A real one. You name the night, and I’ll be
here. I want to show you that I can be the perfect guy, too.”

Buffy smiled slightly as she took the beautiful rose from him. She trailed
her fingertips over the soft, delicate petals, trailing downward until the
pad of her finger touched one of the thorns. She carefully traced over it,
taking consideration not to scratch her finger as she studied it. “You
know…the rose is arguably one of the most beautiful flowers out there.”

Spike watched her as she continued to stare at it, twisting the flower back
and forth to see it from all angles. “And just because it’s beautiful,” she
continued. “Doesn’t mean it’s perfect. In fact, that’s why the thorns are
there. Everything has to be balanced…equal. Do you understand what I’m
saying?” Buffy asked, looking up into Spike’s eyes.

Spike sighed as he looked down. “You’re saying the same goes for twins.
The good has to equal the bad, and I guess that’s me.”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head as she set the rose down to take one of his
hands in both of hers. “I’m saying…you don’t have to be perfect.” Spike
raised his eyes to look into hers. “No one does. Just because you may
think you’re not enough like your brother doesn’t mean you should be like
him. After all, if he’s so perfect, why couldn’t I let myself fall in love
with him?”

Spike studied her as she spoke, tilting his head to the side. “Spike, I
don’t want you to be William…I want you to be yourself. Don’t put on an act
for my benefit because eventually, I’ll get tired of it. Let me get to know
you, okay?”

Spike smiled as he nodded, feeling better about himself than he had in a
long time.

“Now…as for that date, I think Saturday night sounds good,” Buffy said with
a smile.

“I’ll pick you up at six.”

“That’s a little early,” she said with a curious look. “Just what are you
planning?”

“It’s a surprise,” Spike whispered. Slowly, he brought her hand up to his
lips and gently kissed it before turning and walking toward the door. He
turned and smiled before shutting the door. “I’ll see you then, luv.”




A/N I know a lot of people wanted William to end up with Fred (and honestly, if it can’t be Buffy, she is my first choice), but it would have gone against ‘he needs someone different from him.’ And since I absolutely cannot stand Faith with Spike/William, Anya was my next choice. I’m not sure if there will be an update tomorrow, but there will definitely be one Saturday afternoon. Reviews would be much appreciated :-)





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