Chapter 13
Buffy was practically floating on cloud nine for the next week. She and
Spike had gone out every night, and Buffy couldn’t remember ever feeling this
happy. As she was pulling her hair up in a clip, she head a knock on her
front door.
“Just a second,” she called as she adjusted her black sleeveless shirt.
Opening the door, her smile soon faded.
‘It’s always calmest before the storm,’ that little voice said, taunting
her.
“Hello, Buffy.”
“Riley, what are you doing here?”
“I was in town. Thought I’d drop by.”
“Oh, um…that’s…that’s nice.”
“I know you’re surprised to see me.”
“Surprised? Yeah, that could be one way to describe it.”
“I was wondering if I could take you out to lunch.”
“Riley, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“I don’t mean as a date, Buffy. I’m married now. I just wanted to catch up
with you, if that’s okay.”
Buffy relaxed slightly. “I didn’t know you got married.”
“Yeah, her name’s Sam. She’s great. I’d like you to meet her sometime.”
“That would be nice. And in that case, I think lunch would be okay.”
* * * * *
Buffy and Riley sat at the Espresso Pump, filling each other in on their
lives. Buffy had already told him that she was seeing someone, and Riley was
thrilled for her.
“So, tell me about Sam,” Buffy said as she took a sip of her iced tea.
“How’d you meet?”
“Actually, she’s a karate instructor.”
“Really?” Buffy asked with a smile. “So she could probably wipe the floor
with you, huh?”
“Yeah,” Riley said with a laugh. “What can I say, I like strong women.
Case in point,” he said, gesturing to Buffy.
She smiled at the compliment. “So, is that how you met?”
“We actually met at the gym. She was sparring with some guy, and she kicked
his ass, so it really got my attention.”
Buffy laughed before looking at her watch. “Oh my gosh, we’ve been here
for an hour. I better get going,” she said as she stood up.
Riley stood up with her. “I’m really glad we talked today, Buffy.”
“Me, too,” she said with a nod. “We didn’t exactly end on the best terms…I’m
really happy for you, though.”
“Thanks,” Riley said, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. He stayed where he
was as he looked into Buffy’s eyes. “You make sure your new boyfriend takes
good care of you,” he said before taking a step back.
Buffy gave him a bright smile. “I will. And next time you’re in town, make
sure to bring Sam by. I think I’ll like her.”
“I’m sure she’ll like you, too. It was good seeing you, Buffy.”
“You, too. Bye, Riley,” she said with a wave as she started walking in the
opposite direction.
* * * * *
Spike was walking back to his motorcycle after buying a pack of cigarettes
when he looked across the street and saw Buffy and another man laughing at a
table. He watched as they laughed together before Buffy glanced at her
watch and stood.
Spike was about to walk over when he saw the man bend closer to her, angling
his head to hers. He felt his heart drop when Buffy didn’t pull away from
him. After a few seconds, he watched as the man stepped back, and Buffy gave him a wide smile.
Spike gritted his teeth together as he walked away, his heart feeling like
it was breaking.
* * * * *
Buffy sat in her apartment later that night, idly flipping through a
magazine as she glanced at the clock every few seconds. Spike was over
twenty minutes late picking her up for their date, and she was beginning to
get worried.
She knew it wasn’t a big deal if he wanted to back out- they were just going
to the Bronze. But she knew he would have called if he was going to be
late. She had tried calling him five minutes ago, and no one had answered.
Nervously chewing on her bottom lip, Buffy made a decision.
Half an hour later, she was walking through the door of the Bronze. She
figured on the walk there, that she must have gotten confused and she was
supposed to meet Spike there. As she scanned the interior of the club,
Buffy smiled when she saw him. Her smile quickly faded, though, as she saw
him obviously flirting with another girl at the bar.
Making her way over to him, Buffy tapped him on the shoulder, surprised
when he turned around and acknowledged her with a raised eyebrow.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“Nothing, Buffy. Why?”
“I-I just thought that we had a date tonight. Was I wrong?”
“Was that tonight?” he asked with a bored tone. “Sorry, luv, but I made
other plans.”
Buffy’s eyes shot over to the other girl at the bar. She focused on her
breathing as her lips tightened, trying to ignore the feeling of panic that
was growing inside her. “Spike, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I already told you, Buffy, I made other plans tonight.”
“Can we talk somewhere else?” she asked, hating herself for the pleading
tone of her voice.
Spike let out a sigh. “I guess.”
Buffy felt as if her heart stopped as she watched him swivel on his stool to
kiss the other girl feeling a sense of relief set in that it was on the cheek, before turning and walking out of the club.
Buffy followed him into the empty alley. “What the hell is going on?”
“I’ve already answered that, pet,” he said with his arms crossed over his
chest. Buffy cringed at the scent of whiskey that seemed to roll off of him.
“Spike, I-I thought…I thought you liked me?”
“I never said I didn’t. What did you think this was?”
‘Don’t do it, Buffy,’ she told herself. ‘You’re stronger now, don’t let him
turn you into the victim that every other man has done in the past.’
She stared at him as her anger won out. “You’re an asshole, do you know
that?”
Spike clenched his jaw as his temper flared. In one quick movement, he grabbed Buffy’s arms, shoving her roughly into the side of the building. Buffy felt the bricks scraping her back as he held her forcefully in place, but left her features expressionless as his face came within an inch of hers.
“Just because we had a little fun in the sack, that didn’t mean that I was
ready to marry you. It was a good time, Buffy. That’s all.”
Parker and Angel’s voice came rushing back to her, combining with Spike’s.
She felt tears spring to her eyes, not from the tight hold on her arms, but
because of how much he could hurt her with his words. “I thought you were
different.”
“Guess you thought wrong,” he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
Buffy’s eyes flashed as she looked at him. “Get your damn hands off me,”
she said through gritted teeth.
Spike smirked as he held her in place. “I thought you liked my hands on
you.”
“You had a lot of misconceptions of what I like,” she said angrily. “Let go
of me.”
She realized it probably wasn’t a good idea to make him any angrier, but she
really didn’t care at this point.
“Spike? What the hell are you doing?”
Both Buffy and Spike turned toward the voices, seeing William and Xander
breaking into a run. As Spike was distracted, Buffy raised her arms and
brought them down, hard, breaking his hold on her. Shoving him away from
her, Buffy fought the tears in her eyes as she looked at him. “I hope she’s
worth it,” she said softly. She saw the remorse that seemed to flash on his
face, but ignored it as she walked away.
Xander and William met up with her. “Don’t,” she said quietly, holding up a
hand. She couldn’t make eye contact with them. “There’s nothing to worry
about.”
They watched as Buffy walked out of the alley before turning to face Spike.
“Xander,” William said in a low voice. “Go on in. Tell the others I’ll be
inside in a minute.”
Xander did as he was told as William and Spike stared at each other
before Will grabbed him by the collar of his duster, throwing him into the
wall.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, you pillock?” Spike asked angrily
as his brother held him in place.
“I’m doing the same thing you just did to Buffy. Now, you wanna be a good
little boy and tell me what’s going on, or do we do this the hard way?”
“It’s none of your sodding business, mate,” Spike said, trying to break free
from his brother’s hold.
“Maybe not, but when you hurt someone I care about, it soon becomes a
problem for me.”
“She’ll be fine. It’s not like I roughed her up.”
Spike was shocked when Will’s fist came out to land squarely on his jaw.
“Ow! Bloody hell!”
“You’re about to get roughed up, little brother. Did you not see how much
she was hurting? You left soddin’ hand marks on her arms! You don’t think
she’ll be bruised tomorrow? That her back won’t be hurting from being
shoved against a brick wall?”
To emphasize his point, Will pushed Spike harder against the wall. Seeing
the look that flashed across his face, Will dropped his brother to the ground.
“Yeah…you hurt her, Spike,” he said, looking down on him. “I can’t believe I actually helped you. You don’t deserve her.”
Spike felt the tears spring to his eyes as William turned around and walked
into the club. “I really don’t,” he whispered to himself.
A/N Because that was such an angsty chapter (and I didn’t want to get flamed for turning our beloved Spike into an ass or reviews hoping Buffy would pick ‘good guy’ William) I thought I’d go ahead and post this one. Enjoy – and I expect lots of glowing reviews for giving everyone a better chapter to leave off :-P
Chapter 14
Buffy didn’t leave her apartment for a week. Her phone was unplugged, and
her door stayed locked. All of her friends had tried to get in touch with
her, but Buffy wouldn’t answer anything.
Spike had stopped by the night of their fight, but Buffy refused to answer the door. He
had stood outside for over an hour pleading with her to forgive him. Buffy
eventually closed herself in the bathroom with the water running so she
wouldn’t hear him.
Now, a week later, Buffy stepped out of her bathtub and looked at her
reflection in the mirror. Shadows tinted the skin under her eyes. She had
lost some weight since she had hardly eaten anything since that night.
Her eyes were dull and lifeless. Buffy took a deep breath and quickly
dressed in a pair of white cotton pants and a black tank top. She would
call her friends tomorrow, let them know that she was still alive. Tonight,
she just wanted to relax. She hadn’t done that, even though she’d been home
for so long. She was always too anxious, thinking about that night. She also needed to go see her mom and sister. They were probably getting worried about her as well.
Buffy took her hair down, running a comb through it before she opened the
door and wandered down the hall and into the living room. Looking up when
she entered the room, Buffy froze.
Spike stood in the middle of her living room with his hands shoved in his
pockets, nervously biting his lower lip.
“H-how…”
“Will gave me the key, luv. We were- I was worried about you.”
Buffy felt herself losing air as she stared at him. “Why didn’t he use it
himself?” she asked quietly.
“Because I begged him to let me be the one to come check on you.” Spike fearfully licked
his lips as he took a step toward her. “Buffy-“
He stopped when he saw her flatten herself against the wall behind her.
Spike shut his eyes against the tears he felt. “Luv, please don’t be scared
of me,” he pleaded in a choked voice, stepping toward her. He let his tears
fall when he reached out to gently caress her cheek, and she turned away from
him, trembling at having him so close. “I won’t hurt you, baby,” Spike said
in a hoarse whisper.
“But you did!” she cried as she looked at him. “You hurt me, Spike!”
Spike soothingly tried to cup her face in his hands, only to be pushed away.
“Don’t,” she said quietly. “Don’t touch me.”
“I’m sorry,” Spike said earnestly. “I would never hit you, baby. Never!”
“You didn’t have to,” she said, looking into his eyes. “Why do that when
you can just scare me, right?”
“Buffy, I promise, baby, I’ll never do that again.”
“It wasn’t just that, Spike. You were on a date with someone else!”
“Only because you kissed someone else,” he said quietly, looking down at the floor.
“What?”
“I saw you that day, Buffy. With another man.”
“Riley,” Buffy said with a nod of understanding. “I didn’t kiss him,
though. He kissed me on the cheek when he said good-bye.” Spike looked up
in surprise. “Yeah…I didn’t do anything, Spike. He’s married. You’re the
one who’s guilty.”
“Buffy-“
Spike froze again as Buffy tried to get away from him. Taking a deep
breath, he continued, “I didn’t know, I’m-“
“Well then, why didn’t you ask me?” she asked angrily. “Why just assume
the worst?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “I want to be with you, Buffy.”
“No, you don’t,” she said with clenched teeth. “You don’t want to be with
me, I was just a ‘good time’, remember?”
“Baby, I didn’t mean that. I was just angry.”
“Well, guess what? I’m angry now, so do me a favor and go back to your new
girl.”
“I don’t have a new girl. You’re my girl.”
“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “If that was true, you never would have
done any of it. You hurt me, Spike. Physically…and emotionally. And you
scared me.”
“What can I do?” he asked tearfully. “Please, let me make it up to you.”
Buffy felt her heart breaking as she tried to close off her emotions. She
shook her head as tears clouded her vision. “Nothing,” she whispered.
“There’s nothing you can do…just…please leave now.”
“I can’t,” Spike whispered. “I’m in love with you.”
Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his as he said it. “Please don’t…”
Spike took a step forward, gently running his fingers through her hair. “I
love you,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers as tears streaked
down his cheeks.
Before Buffy knew what was happening, his mouth descended to meet hers.
Tenderly caressing his lips against Buffy’s, his tongue lightly licked at
her lips, asking for entrance. Buffy moaned as he deepened the kiss before
she pushed him away. “No, Spike. You can’t do that! You can’t just kiss
me and expect the problems to go away!”
Spike stared at her as she spoke. “I’m not expecting them to go away,” he
said softly. “I’m trying to make it up to you. I love you,” he repeated,
looking sincerely into her eyes. “I’m not expecting you to say it back, but
I needed you to know how I feel. I’m not giving you up without a fight,
baby.”
Buffy seemed to pause for a moment. “I don’t want you drinking anymore…ever.”
“If that’s what it takes to prove how much I love you, then I’ll do it.”
Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes at his honesty. Slowly, she took a step toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him down for a reassuring hug. Both needing the comfort it provided. Pulling away after a moment, she stared intensely at him. “I’m not forgiving you yet,” she said in an unconvincing tone as she gave a slight shake of her head. “But I believe you. If you ever do that-“
“I won’t,” he replied sternly.
“If you ever do that again,” Buffy continued. “That’s it. It’s over…no
going back after that.”
Spike nodded in understanding as he wrapped her in another fierce hug. “I’ll
never hurt you again, baby…I promise. Never again,” he trailed off in a whisper.
Spike buried his face in the crook of her neck, letting the last of his tears fall as she tightened her hold on him. “I know.”
A/N Please be gentle! These were two very hard chapters for me to write- I almost didn’t post them. Angst is over and more Spuffyness to come!
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