I Do

Chapter 2

Buffy paced around in the waiting room of the hospital. The strong smell of antiseptic invaded her nostrils as she strummed her fingers nervously against her arm.

“I mean she is my sister, why won’t they let me see her?” Demanded Buffy.

“I am sure they won’t be long,” soothed Giles.

Buffy threw her hands up in the air in disgust. “We’ve been here for nearly an hour already and nothing! Nothing except a mountain of damn consent forms!”

Both heads looked up as the door opened.

“Buffy, I got here as soon as I could. Any word?” asked Willow as she threw down her bag and went over to her best friend.

“They won’t let me see her, it’s bad, I just know It,” said Buffy as she sobbed in Willow’s arms.

“I’ll erm go get some coffees from the machine,” said Giles awkwardly, sensing they wanted to be alone.

“Sssh, baby we don’t know anything yet,” said Willow as she stroked Buffy’s hair.

Buffy looked up at her friend with a teary smile and allowed Willow to walk her over to a vacant seat.

“I know, but I can’t help feeling that some of this is my fault if I had given Dawn more of my time…maybe I…”

Willow looked at Buffy

“Now listen, it’s a small wonder that it’s not you in that hospital bed with all you have had to cope with this past year. You’ve done all you could, you’re not God Buffy. Its no ones fault that your mom died and you were left with a whole load of responsibility,”

A nurse entered the room and Buffy and Willow stood up, holding each other’s hands for support. The grave expression on the woman’s face did nothing to quench Buffy’s fears.

“You can see her now,” said the nurse.

Buffy nodded silently and gripped Willow’s hand tighter. The red head winced a little at the extra pressure. They both followed the nurse out of the waiting room and into the hallway.

“We have done some tests preliminary tests and are waiting on the results. Your sister is doing just fine. Try not to worry,” said the nurse as they walked down the corridor.

“Easier said than done,” muttered Buffy under her breath.

Giles intercepted them as they entered the paediatric ward. He tipped the unwanted coffees into the water fountain.

“I’ll be in the waiting room if you need me,” he told Buffy.

“Thanks Mr Giles you’ve been sweet,” Buffy replied.

Buffy and Willow walked past the beds of several children all in various states of ill health.

“Bet Dawnie’s gonna love being on the kiddie ward,” said Willow, absentmindedly as she looked sadly at one small girl laying motionless in a cot.

They came to the end of the row of beds. Dawn was sitting cross-legged on the top of her blankets, a familiar pout on her face, which melted away at the sight of her sister.

“Buffy, Willow,” Dawn moved to get up from the bed and thought better of it as her head swam dizzily.

Buffy saw the pallor of her sister’s face and tried to hold back her tears. All Dawn needed was a show of waterworks from her right now. How long had Dawn looked so thin and tired? If she hadn’t been wrapped up in her, own personal hell she might have noticed, Buffy inwardly berated herself. She went over to her sister and hugged her tightly.

“Buffy, I need oxygen,” said Dawn as she patted her sister’s back.

“Sorry,” said Buffy as she released her hold on Dawn.

“Don’t know what all the fuss is about. I fainted in class for a few minutes. It’s no big and then the ambulance arrives with all the sirens wailing,”

“How do you feel now?” asked Willow.

“Like a human pincushion. Just had a guy with a wicked needle, and there was some blood taking and it was ew. He was kinda cute though,” said Dawn as she rubbed at the Band-Aid on her arm.

“Oh yeah there is not a lot wrong with you when you start talking about boys,” Willow laughed.

A doctor came in the room and walked towards them.

“Are you Miss Summers,” he asked Buffy.

“Yeah I am,”

“I need to talk to you about something in private,”

Buffy looked over at Dawn. “I’ll just be a minute sis,” she squeezed her hand and walked away.

“What do you think he wants? And when are they gonna let me out of here?” asked Dawn.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -


Buffy looked at herself in the washroom mirror and practised her words again. She tried several different smiles and expressions that all looked fake to her eyes.

The words suspected abnormalities and further tests were screaming inside her head. Why did this feel like losing mom all over again? she thought as she dashed away a tear.

Dawn was the only thing left in this world that really mattered to her as well as the new family she had adopted at the diner. Their father was somewhere in Spain, Buffy didn’t even have a number for him. When he had divorced their mother, he had divorced the whole family or so it seemed. Buffy wasn’t sure that Hank would even care.

She looked at herself again, and at the dark circles that rimmed her eyes.

“Get a grip Buffy, you’ve got to be strong for Dawn,” she told herself aloud.

Buffy washed her hands and brushed her hair, trying to restore some order to her person even if she couldn’t control her life. She walked back to the ward with a smile fixed on her face; it was so stiff that her cheeks ached from the effort to hold it in place.

Willow had her arm around Dawn and they were giggling about some joke or other.

“Hi, what’s so funny?” asked Buffy.

“Nothing, was just telling Dawn about this loser at University, Riley. He asked me out, I told him I was going to be no ones Buffy substitute,” smiled Willow.

“I thought he had forgotten about me by now, or rather I had hoped,” said Buffy.

“So what did the doctor say? I want out of here,” said Dawn.

Buffy sucked in a deep breath. This was proving more difficult than she had imagined as she felt her smile slip a little as her sister’s hopeful expression.

“They want to keep you here a little longer,”

Dawn opened her mouth to protest.

“Only a day or two,” Buffy finished quickly.

Dawn’s face crumpled up and she began to cry. Buffy rushed over to her side and took Dawn in her arms.

“I can’t stay here Buffy, this is where mom died,”

“Shhh, I know, I know,” sighed Buffy as she rocked her sister gently.

“Don’t leave me Buffy, please,” begged Dawn.

“I won’t leave you I promise, I will always be here for you Dawnie no matter what,” Buffy looked at Willow. “Could you let Mr Giles know I won’t be coming back to the diner today?” asked Buffy.

“I’m sure he didn’t expect you to anyway Buff,” said Willow as she got up off the bed.

Dawn yawned sleepily, and Buffy frowned in concern.

“Come on you get into that bed and get some rest,”

“Spoken like a bossy older sister,” pouted Dawn, but she felt too tired to argue anymore and sank gratefully into the covers.

Buffy moved to the bedside chair and held her sister’s hand as she drifted off to sleep. Buffy felt her own eyelids grow heavy and closed her eyes for just a moment. When she finally awoke, it was almost night. The daylight was fast fading and the bright strip lighting had been switched on. Dawn was sitting up in bed looking at her hospital meal as if it were poison on a plate.

“What happened to Willow?” asked Buffy.

“She left a note, she went with Mr Giles, but she said she would call you later,” said Dawn.

Buffy shifted around in the chair trying to restore some feeling to her posterior. She checked her watch and looked at Dawn.

“I have to be going soon Dawnie, visiting hours are long over,” sighed Buffy.

Dawn’s bottom lip trembled precariously.

“I bet we can squeeze in an extra half hour without being noticed,” grinned Buffy as she looked around the busy children’s ward.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Spike used the key to his friend’s apartment, knocking loudly before he entered just in case Angel was entertaining. His feet ached, having walked the streets of Sunnydale for the best part of the day. Anything was better than hearing the passionate cries and whispers of Angel and his latest playmate. He would have rented his own apartment before now, but while things were in limbo he didn’t see any point in putting down some real roots until he was safely wed and a green card was on it’s way.

He did not really like Ethan. He was oily, but unfortunately necessary at the same time. It had been six months since he had broken up from the woman he had wanted to marry. She had humiliated him on their wedding day by running off with the best man. Drusilla was a piece of work, something that he had not discovered until it been too late, well almost. He sighed tiredly. Well it could have been worse he could have married her… A derisive snort left his lips.

He thought about the raven-haired girl who had been his whole life ever since university, annoyingly a pair of green eyes replaced her dark ones. Spike pulled himself up; it was just one more reason why the girl in the diner would make an unsuitable candidate for his marriage of convenience. Why did he get the impression that it would be anything but convenient? He had read the pain in her eyes, not quite hidden by her smile. Well time was a ticking and he needed to bloody marry someone,/i> his inner voice told him.

“Spike, where did you get to?” asked Angel as he emerged from his bedroom. “Not that I missed you, I met a cute little thing while I was out grocery shopping. She’s in the bedroom as we speak,”

“You put a whole new meaning on the word grocery shopping, so did she show you her wares?” asked Spike in a disinterested voice.

“She gave me the whole god dammed store, but enough about me, how’s the plan to get you a mail order bride going?” asked Angel.

Spike watched Angel as he opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of wine and removed a couple of wine glasses from the overhead cupboard.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it that, more a means to an end. Ethan thinks he might have someone,” said Spike evasively.

“Angeeeel,” a voiced called from the bedroom. “It’s getting real cold in this big bed without you,”

“Sorry Spike we’ll talk later,” shrugged Angel as he disappeared back into his room and slammed the door with a loud bang.

“Can’t wait,” said Spike to no one in particular.

He walked over to the stereo and switched it on to drown out any noise that might be heard from the next room.

He took his smokes from the pocket of his black leather jacket and placed one of them on his lips, before lighting it and taking a deep drag as the nicotine soothed his nerves. He knew he could find a woman to marry no problem. Angel knew enough of them, but they always looked at him as if they would want more than marriage.

The last thing he wanted was one to fall in love with him and expect him to reciprocate. He been there and done that. That was how he had ended up here. No, a nice simple marriage to get him residency was all he was interested in. He couldn’t give his heart even if he wished; Drusilla’s duplicity had all, but hollowed him out and no way was he going to allow himself to be that vulnerable to a woman again…just a quickie ceremony and an I do, and then he could really get on with his life.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Buffy crawled into bed, the hour was late, but she couldn’t face the emptiness and silence of their home. She had walked back from the hospital when she had left Dawn, instead of getting a bus, just to prolong her return.

The doctor had waylaid her before she had left the ward to inform her that there was little point coming in until the late afternoon. Dawn would be preoccupied with tests and what not.

As she lay there in the darkness, studying the shadows as they fell across the ceiling, she felt so alone.

“Mom, what do I do?” she whispered to the silence.

There was no reply to her softly spoken question, there never was. Buffy just sighed and closed her eyes, wishing sleep to come.

TBC





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