Your Worst Nightmare:

“And then she slipped on it and fell on her butt, right in front of the entire school.” Dawn said through her giggles, as she sat at the dinner table, telling her daily activities to Buffy and Spike, as they eat their dinner. “And because most people saw me toss it, they thought I did it on purpose, and now I’m kind of popular, except with Stacy Chase. No one likes her, but they won’t stand up to her either.” Spike chuckled at the story.

“Well, serves her right, for being a bully. No matter how cute or popular she may be.”

“And did you get into trouble?” Buffy asked, in her motherly tone, arching her brow as she bit on a fork full of broccoli.

“No, there were no teachers around, “Dawn said with a pleased smile, which she quickly flipped to a look of innocence. “Also because it was an accident, I totally didn’t do it on purpose.” Again Spike chuckled as he chewed on a dinner roll, and Dawn shot him a ‘not helping’ look.

“Well, as long as it doesn’t happen again.” Buffy said.

“Right, never happen again, and like what are the odds it would anyway, since it was an ‘accident’?” Dawn said.

“Good,” Spike said as he wiped his mouth and stood to clear his plate from the table. “Cause if it does, you’ll get grounded and then Buffy and I will have to go to the…” Spike then pulled two tickets from his back pocket, and began reading the name on front. “N’sync concert, instead of you and your little girlfriend.” Dawn’s eyes grew large as her mouth dropped open.

“Ahhhhhh!!” She squealed as she jumped on Spike’s back, planting kisses on his cheek. Buffy looked on tickled by the display of affection from Dawn and look of complete horror from spike. “Thank you Spike! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Dawn continued squealing as she now held the ticket and jumped up and down. “I’m gonna go call Janice. I love you Spike, you’re the best!” Dawn said placing another peck on his cheek, before racing up the stairs to make the call on her own private phone line, which Spike had installed last month. He had grown tired of never being able to use the phone due to the fact Dawn was always on it.

“You’re really spoiling her, you know that don’t you?” Buffy said as she began clearing the rest of the table.

“Well, technically she my daughter, something I might add, I never thought I’d have. So, I think I’m entitled to do a little spoilage from time to time.”

“Whatever,” Buffy said as she walked past him and into the kitchen where she placed the dishes into the sink.

“Oh, my wittle Swayer isn’t jeawous is she?” Spike asked in a cutesy tone as he came up behind her, placing his own plate into the sink full of dishwater Buffy was now up to her elbows in.

“No I’m not jealous.” Buffy stated in a not so convincing voice.

“Good, cause you know I got you something too.” Her eyes shot up to stare into his as a smile crept on to her lips.

“You did? What? Gimme, gimme, gimme!” Buffy demanded as she bounced on her toes. Spike rolled his eyes and shook his head at her as he pulled a velvet black box from his coat pocket, and handed it to her. Buffy quickly snatched the box in one hands as she wiped her other hand on her jeans. She moved to the counter and hopped up on a stool. She hastily opened the box and a look of complete shock overtook her face. “Oh…” Was all she could get out as Spike watched her curiously, quite baffled himself by her expression.

“What you don’t like it luv, I can take it back if…”

“No!” Buffy’s wide eyes shot up to meet his confused ones, her hands clutching the box and its contents to her chest. “It’s just….it’s so, Spike…”

“When I saw it I thought of you. The emerald reminded me of your eyes.” Spike said as he stared at the locket encased with a teardrop shaped emerald.

“It’s beautiful.” Buffy said fighting back impending tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.

“Here’s let’s try it on then.” Spike said as he took the box from Buffy’s trembling hands. He removed the chained locket and placed it around Buffy’s neck, locking the clasp. “Open it up.” Spike commanded and Buffy complied. She twisted the locket to better see what it held inside when she opened it her tears began falling freely, as she placed the back of her hand over her mouth.

“Oh…” Buffy wailed as a look of fright over took Spike’s expression.

“Cor, luv I didn’t mean to upset you..”

“No, it’s not that. I’m happy.” Buffy said a then quickly moved to embrace the vampire. “Thank you. I love it.” Buffy said as she released him and looked back down at the picture in the locket.

“Well now your Mum will be right where she belongs; close to your heart.” Spike said in a near whisper into Buffy’s hair before gently kissing her temple. Buffy smiled loving as she continued looking at the picture. “Well I better head out, get an early start.” Spike said as he moved towards the door, but then he turned back to Buffy. “Oh and Buffy I put my earnings from last night in the cookie jar. You’ll need to deposit it tomorrow, and then make out the checks for the expenses, I put a list for those right there on the fridge.” Spike said and then moved back to her, giving her a swift kiss and then headed out.

“Spike!” He turned back to look at her over his shoulder. “Don’t be out too late. I mean I’m just going to do a quick sweep tonight and then head home myself, and I thought we could spend some quiet time together. Maybe a hot bath and a massage?” Spike arched his brow to the idea.

“Three hours tops, and then I’ll be here. Night love.” With that he walked out the back door, leaving Buffy to look after him lovingly for a moment. When she came back to her senses, sniffing back her remaining tears she moved to the cookie jar to get out the money Spike had told her was there. She pulled out a thick wad of hundred dollar bills. Buffy rolled her eyes at the vamp, amazed that he had little regards for money, so long as he had enough to buy his cigarettes.

“What am I gonna do with him?” Buffy said with a sigh as a smile crossed her lips. “What would I do without him?”


“Oh man this is some freaky stuff. What the hell happened to her?” The younger of the two vamps asked nervously.

“I don’t know, I mean we went to the carnival like she wanted and there was this old haggard lady she wanted to fed on. So, I kept watch outside, but then I heard her screaming and when I went in the old lady was gone, and I found her like this.”

“Oh man what do we do, kill her?”

“Spike, I need spike…Or is it William I’m not sure anymore.” She mumbled.

“Should we take her to him?” The younger vamp asked.

“She’s still our sire, we have to. It’s the least we can do. I mean look at her, and the smell of her is driving me crazy.”

“Yeah but what about the slayer?”

“Well, we’re not gonna stay long, just long enough to drop her off, then I say we head to the east coast, New York maybe.”


“He definitely has good taste,” Anya said as she examined the locket more closely. “That’s a real emerald.” Buffy and Willow simply rolled their eyes at the woman, as hey all sat around a table in the Summer’s living room, where Anya and Willow had come to have something of a girl’s night out. “You think Xander will buy me an emerald, I mean I think I can make him feel guilty enough, what with being left at the alter and all.”

“I thought you two had worked past that.” Buffy said.

“Yeah, but I just realized I could probably get a lot of wonderful gifts out of it.” Buffy and Willow both look at her displeased. “Or maybe not. Fine you can be the only one with the great boyfriend who buys her jewelry. Very expensive jewelry.” Anya grumbled.

“This was a gift of love not guilt.” Buffy said as she stroked the locket.

“Yeah he really does love you, it must be nice.” Willow said with a sweet yet sad smile.

“So you and Tara haven’t made up yet I take it.” Buffy said.

“No, we’re kind of back at that awkward to be around, and mostly not speaking faze.” Willow said her mouth had a half frown, half pout on it. “But there’s still definitely love there, and I’m not gonna give up on it or her.”

“Good for you.” Buffy said with a smile. “It looks like things are getting back to normal and happy for everyone. Spike and I are crazy about each other, and we’ve settled into a pretty normal domestic life together. You and Xander have made up.” She directed to Anya, who smiled brightly at her. “And you and Tara are trying and that’s something. Life is good and it can only get better, right?”


“This better be worth my time, I had other plans tonight.”

“Oh it is, right this way. We were told to find you specifically. So we had to drive two towns over, and I think you’ll want to see this.” The vamp said as he scurried to the nearby caves.

“Oh I do hope for your sake that I do, because I had a lovely evening planned with my ladylove, and….” Spike stopped his words completed as he stared as the pale woman before him. “Dru?” The woman slowly looked up at hearing her name.

“Spike? William?” She cried as she rushed to him burying her face into his chest. Spike cautiously wrapped his arms around her, something he had done for many year, but for the first time noticed that something was off about it, and about her.

“What going on here?” Spike directed to the two vampires across from him.


“N’ sync tickets, wow!” Willow said as Dawn showed her the tickets Spike had given her.

“Man you get jewelry, and you get concert tickets, you think Spike got us something too?” Anya asked seriously as the others simply rolled their eyes at her.

“Nope, he only has a soft spot for us Summers girls.” Dawn said with a smile, which Buffy matched. “Every night almost he brings us something.” At that moment Spike entered the house. “Speaking of which, “ Dawn said as she rushed to him. “What did you get me?” She asked holding out her hands. Spike, who looked to have been in deep thought, looked at her confused.

“Huh?” He looked to her and then to the others confused. Before Buffy could get out what she was about to say she took noted of the sheer terror that crossed her sister’s face.

“Spike look out!” Dawn screamed and Spike instinctively turned as Buffy and the others rushed to where he stood. All the women stood stunned to see Druscilla standing in the doorway.

“What the hell…”

“Buffy, don’t.” Spike began to try and explain what was going on as Dru entered the doorway.

“William?” Dru called to him. Buffy with wide eyes swiftly moved to the woman who had just entered her house, retrieving a stake from a nearby table before pinned the woman to a nearby wall. “William!”

“Buffy, no!” Spike moved to them now, grasping Buffy’s raised hand, which firmly gripped the stake

“What the hell are you doing,” Buffy yelled at him. “Did you invite this monster into our home?”

“No Luv, look at her.”

“What?” Buffy asked, growing more irritated by the second.

“Just look at her, Buffy. Use your slayer senses what do you see?” Buffy sighed heavily and rolled her eyes at the man beside her before she turned to face the wide-eyed woman she still had pinned to the wall. Buffy noticed that she looked different somehow. Dru’s skin now had color to it, her eyes which usually had a dead far off look in them were now focused and aware. She was warm to the touch.

“My God!” Buffy gasped as she quickly released Dru as if her skin had burnt her hand, Buffy stepped back.


“Alive?” Giles asked again as he looked over to where Druscilla stood near a self of book, which she scanned over with her fingers and eyes.

“Yes Giles, alive we told you this when we first got here…three hours ago can we please move on to a new question, like how…” Spike said irritably

“Why?” Buffy asked, cutting Spike off as she too stared at the woman.

“Yeah that too…” Spike said.

“No, I mean why did she come to you?” Buffy asked as she now turned to Spike.

“I don’t know. Familiarity I suppose, we did spend over a century together.” Spike answered honestly.

“Yes, but Angel sired her so why wouldn’t she go to him?” Buffy said and Spike simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Speaking of Angel…” Giles quipped.

“We already called, I didn’t go into details for fear he wouldn’t come. I just told him something has happened and we really need his help.” Buffy announced. “He should be here by tomorrow night.”

“Good, well I guess there’s nothing more to do tonight then.” Giles said. “We should all head home, call it a night.”

“And what do we do about the princess of darkness there?” Xander asked. “Alive or not she’s not staying with Anya and me.”

“Ah…yes well nor would I be over elated to have her with me.” Giles agreed.

“I can take her to my old crypt, it’s still livable there.” Spike suggested.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to leave her by herself.” Giles said.

“I’ll stay with her.” Spike offered and Buffy’s eyes widened.


“Here’s some pillows, bathroom’s there,” Buffy pointed as she uncomfortably talked to the woman who sat before her watching her intensely.

“Thank you Buffy.” Dru said with a sweet smile.

“Whatever.” Buffy threw at her as she turned to head upstairs.

“I’m sorry.” Dru called after her and Buffy stopped and turned despite herself. “I’ve hurt you and the ones you love, on more then one occasion. I mean it’s kind of a blur, like I dreamt it, but I know I didn’t. Those were things I have done, so many terrible things.” Dru said as she looked down at the floor, her tears dropping from her eyes. “How could I…have liked it, enjoyed killing. Oh God, I was supposed to give my self to the lord. I was to be a nun but then…” Her brow scrunched up as if she were trying hard to remember something, and then her face cleared and she stared up at Buffy. “I’m sorry.” With that Dru laid down on the couch, turning her back to the face staring at her in wonderment, to ashamed to face her any longer. Buffy watched her for a second before slowly ascending the stairs. She entered her room to find Spike seated at the foot of their bed, his face hard as he stared off into space, oblivious that she had walked into the room. Buffy reached into her back pocket where she had some changes, she pulled out a penny and tossed it at Spike, who instinctively caught it, and then looked up to her.

“For you thoughts.” Buffy answered the questioning look on his face.

“I was thinking about Dru, she’s ah…” He paused unsure of how to word it.

“Alive, yeah a big wow.” Buffy finished for him.

“I was going to say different,” Spike said with a smile. “I’ve know her, lived with her for over 117 years, and now she’s a stranger. That woman down there, it’s not Dru. I mean they have the same face and body, but she’s not my Dru…”

“Your Dru?” Buffy repeated as she felt a tightening in her chest.

“Buffy, I didn’t…”

“It’s ok, I know I’m not your first love Spike.”

“No, but you’re my true love, and my first and only human woman.” Buffy was a little taken aback by that news. Spike read her look and chuckled. “What you thought I was some big whorish Vampire, not my style that was Angelus’ thing. I was with Dru, I loved her completely, I was devoted to her forever, and if she hadn’t…” Spike quickly ended the sentence.

“If she hadn’t dumped you, you’d probably still be with her.” Buffy said more as a statement then a question. Spike’s silence told her all she needed to know on the subject. “Do you still love her?” Spike looked up at her.

“Do you still love Angel?” They both stood silently just staring at each other. “Look Buffy, we’ve both loved before now, but that, what I had with Dru, and what you had with Angel, that can’t hold a candle to what ‘we’ have, right here and right now.” He spoke softly as he now stood before her, their foreheads now touching as they stared deeply into each other eyes. Buffy knew that what he was saying was true, that he loved her like no other, as did she love him. She leaned up, moving in to kiss him.

“AHHHHH!” A scream sliced through the silent house, and both Buffy and Spike jumped in alarm. “William, Oh God Help me!” Without hesitation Spike moved from Buffy and rushed out the room and down the stairs, with Buffy and Dawn both on his tail. Spike found Dru cowering in a corner, he moved to her, and she rushed in to the safety of his arm. “Oh God he’s out there, he’s come to get me. William please don’t let him get me, please not again.” She moaned as she buried her wet face against his chest. At that moment a firm knock came at the door, causing them all to jump a little. Buffy moved to it and after looking into the peephole she opened the door.

“Angel!” Buffy said in surprise to the man standing at the door. “We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow sometime.” Buffy said. The grip Dru had on Spike tightened and he looked at her face, he could see the utter fear on it as Angel entered he living room. Dru began to tremble, which quickly turned to convulsion like movements. Angel and the other looked at her baffled, Angel was mostly confused.

“Why is Dru here, what the hell is going on.?” Angel said as he moved in closer.

“Ahhhhh!” Dru wailed her wide eyes locked to Angel’s.

“Stay back!” Spike growled now very angered, Angel took note of this and stepped back with his hands raised.

“What’s wrong with her?” Dawn asked. Spike lifted her in his arms with ease.

“I’m gonna take her up to you old room luv,” Spike announced to Buffy as he moved for the stairs not waiting for a reply. The others just stared after them.

After nearly an hour, Spike emerged at the top of the stairs. He entered the room just as Buffy finished telling Angel about Dru and her new life.

“Alive, how?” Angel questioned.

“We were kind of hoping you had some idea.” Buffy said and then her eyes locked to Spike “How is she?”

“She’s sleeping.” Spike said roughly running his hands through his hair.

“What the hell was that all about anyway?” Buffy asked.

“You,” Spike directed to Angel. “You tortured her for two years. Raped her, raped her mum, and younger 16 year old sister, then you killed them in front of her. Made her completely insane before turning her. She remembers it, vividly. For her it was just yesterday.” Spike said with hatred pouring from his eyes and lips.

“Oh God.” Dawn gasped as she now stood from the seat she had beside Angel on the couch. Buffy too looked to her former love with disgust in her eyes. “Is she gonna be ok? Can I go sit with her?” Dawn asked, causing Spike to smile at her.

“Yeah Bit, I think she’d like that.” Spike said and Dawn moved to the stairs leaving Buffy, Spike, and Angel in an awkward silence. “I don’t think it was such a good idea calling Angel.” Spike said as he then walked into the kitchen.


“No wonder she’s all freaked out. God Angel really did all those things to her and her family?” Willow asked still in disbelief.

“Not Angel, Angelus.” Buffy defended.

“Same difference.” Dawn huffed.

“No it’s not Dawn, now that he has a soul, he…”

“Spike doesn’t have a soul, and he’s never done those things, even when he was all evil. He chose not to, like he chooses not to now, and he chooses to love us and fight the good fight. Angel didn’t chose this, he was cursed, and we all know that the second the curse is gone, he’s back to his olds ways. And Angelus hates you Buffy.” Buffy flinched a little at that truth.

“Dawn all I’m saying is…”

“All you’re doing is defending your old boyfriend, but the truth is there is no excuse for what he did to her, and look at him,” The three girls looked to where Angel sat, broodingly in a corner, watching Dru who was upstairs with Spike looking through the books on the selves. “He even knows it.”


“God, I’ve missed out on so much.” Dru said a she held a book. Spike smiled at her. “It’s like I’ve been asleep for years.”

“Well, at least you’ll have something to do with the rest of your life.” Dru looked to him with a sweet smile, which quickly turned to a frown as her eyes began to water. “What’s wrong Pet?”

“I’m so sorry, William” She said in a near whisper as Spike stared at her unclear of her meaning. “I took your life.” Spike sighed just a little as realization struck him.

“Yeah, and then you gave me another one, and right now it’s far better then the old one could have ever been.” He said with a smile. Buffy had just came up the stairs to get them and paused knowing that they needed a moment to talk, so she waited. “I have a family, and I have love.”

“But you must hate me for all the pain I have caused you.” Spike moved closer to her, reached out his hand and gently stroked her cheek.

“I could never hate Dru, I never have and never will.” For a moment they seemed lost in each other until Buffy who’s heart ached at what she was hearing and witnessing, interrupted them.

“Uh…guys.” They both jumped in surprise.

“Buffy, hey luv when did you get here?” Spike asked as he moved to her, lovingly grasping at her hand, which she swiftly moved across her chest, an action not unnoticed by Spike nor Dru.

“Oh, Dawn, Angel, and I just got here.” She answered and Dru’s posture instantly stiffened at hearing Angel’s name. She appeared to be trying to catch her breath.

“You ok pet?” Spike asked her, hearing the increase in her heart rate.

“Yeah I’m fine, you two lovebirds go on, I’m just gonna read some more up here. Oh and Buffy thank you for lending me some clothes.” Dru said with a sweet smile as she walked over to a table and chair and sat.

“Why in the hell did you bring him here?” Spike asked irritated.

“Ah, so he could help us find out what happened to Dru, and if it’s permanent.”

“Him being here is not helping Dru, she’s terrified of him.” Spike said. “Maybe I’ll take her back to my crypt.”


“I think it would be better if she didn’t have to be in the same room with him is all.”

“Fine, then I’ll get Anya to take her to the mall and teach her all about money, while we research.” Buffy offered.

“Fine.” Spike said nodding, but Buffy could see he was somewhat disappointed as he walked over to where Dru sat.


“Well,” Giles spoke after several hours of them researching. “It seems that this is a curse of some sort. From what Druscilla described to me and the spell used.”

“So, what now?” Xander asked.

“Now, she gets to live a normal life as a human woman.” Giles said.

“She’s getting a second chance?” Angel said.

“So it would seem, and I’ve tracked this carnival it seems it’s ran by the descendants of the gypsies who cursed you Angel. I remember Jenny telling me once that she had family in the carnival business.”

“So, if these were the same people, then why did they give Dru back her life, but with Angel they just wanted…” Buffy began only to be cut off by Angel.

“They wanted me to suffer. I killed one of their own, their daughter and they wanted me to suffer for all eternity for that. They still have people watching me to ensure that the curse is never lifted. Especially now that…”

“That you’ve killed another of their daughters.” Giles finished as he looked off as if remembering and seeing Jenny’s face as Angelus snapped her neck. Silence fell over the room, after a moment Angel spoke again.

“Somehow they knew who Dru was, knew I sired her, knew all that I did to her. She’s as much a victim to them as their daughter was. So they gave her back her life, a life I took. Partly to give her peace, but mostly to let me know that they have, and always had the power to make me human again, but never will. They gave me a soul knowing that I’d long for my humanity, and only they have the power to give it to me.”

“So that’s it then?” Spike interjected not caring about Angel’s predicament. “We send her out into a world she doesn’t know. A place she no longer has any family in.?”

“Well she still has you, and that seems to matter to her.” Giles stated. “And she’s from the England, she very well may have family still there.”

“Well, it is worth a try anyway. We’ll fly over there and search.” Spike said without thinking.

“We, will?” Buffy asked as Spike’s eyes locked onto her.

“Well, yeah it’s the least I can do.” Spike said as Buffy’s face fell and she had to force back tears that threatened to wash down her face. “You have vacation time coming up at work, and the bit has a break in a week right, for two weeks?” He directed to Dawn, who in turn nodded her head. “So we can go over for two weeks max, help her settle in and all.”

“You want me and Dawn to come with you?” Buffy asked a little shocked. Spike looked at her confused.

“Well,” Spike began as he looked at her skeptically, wondering if she was asking a trick question. “Yeah, I’d like you guys with me. I’d like to show you my homeland, my old stomping ground, and I still have family there I’d like you to meet as well.” Buffy smiled at the thought as Dawn bounced happily in her seat. “And you know I don’t sleep well without you next to me.” He ended with a pout on his lips, and Buffy moved from her sit to his, plopping herself down on his lap.

“Awww, honey.” She moaned as she captured his mouth in a kissed, causing everyone at the table to groan and roll their eyes at their public display of affection.

“Oh, would you two get a room?” Xander said. Buffy and Spike ignored him and the others as their kiss deepened.

“You want me to go get a bucket of cold water to break them up?” Dawn offered as Angel chuckled at her. At that moment Dru and Anya entered the shop, both carrying an armful of bags. Buffy and Spike parted as everyone stared at the two beaming women.

“God, Anya did you buy the whole store?” Xander asked in a panic as he got a sudden flash of the credit card bill he’d be getting.

“Yes!” Anya squealed in delight. “Oh but it’s ok we used Spike’s money.” Xander breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yes, thank you Spike,” Dru said as she handed him his card, which was now in two halves.

“Ah…you’re welcome pet.” Spike answered as he tossed the now worthless card onto the table. “So I take it you had fun?”

“Oh yes, Anya was teaching me the power of charging now, and having my boyfriend pay for it later.” Dru said with a smile as Xander shot Anya a glare. “And seeing I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t think I’ll be getting a card of my own.”

“If you’d like one, I could get you one.” Angel offered and for the first time Dru noticed he was there and without thinking she quickly moved closer to Spike. “I mean I’ll take care of all your expenses, whatever you need.” Dru looked at him as if he were speaking a foreign language, or had grown another head.

“No,” Dru spoke so softly it was nearly inaudible. “That won’t be necessary, I plan on picking up where my life was cut off at. I’m gonna become a nun, like I have always wanted to be. If they’ll have me after all..” Dru closed her eyes to the thought of her past centuries of sin.

“I think that’s wonderful Dru.” Buffy said wanting to break the mood. Dru smiled at her.

“Thank you, I figure I have no…family left now. And even if I did I wouldn’t want to go through the trouble of making up something to explain myself. So, I’ll leave them in peace, and go live the life I had intended.”

“The life that I took.” Angel said glumly. “Could we…can I speak to you, alone?” Angel asked as Spike jumped in.

“Hell no!”

“Spike.” Buffy spoke hoping to calm him, she placed her hand across his chest.

“No way in hell am I leaving her alone with him!”

“It’s ok.” Dru said softly as she looked down at the floor.

“What!? No, Dru you don’t…”

“I do William, I need closure. I do, I need this, and you’ll be right over there with the vampire slayer, and I know you’re both very fast. So, if he tries anything..”

“I’ll rip his head off.” Spike direct this to Angel, who simply sat with his head lowered.

“Right, so you see I feel safer already.” She said mustering a brave smile, although her insides were shaking with fear. Everyone left the table, giving Dru and Angel some privacy. Dru stood in her spot as Angel remained seated.

“Please sit.” Angel said softly as she now met her eyes, with his own. Reluctantly Dru obliged, sitting across from him, wanting to keep him in eye range. “I don’t know where I should start…”

“Why?” Dru asked as she now looked to him with watery eyes. Angel quickly dropped his eyes, not able to face her tears, now falling.

“You were beautiful. I had never seen anything so beautiful, and you could see things like no other. You knew what I was the second you laid eyes on me. I saw in you what I wanted to see in me, and I thought that if I had you…”

“I don’t understand, why butcher my family then? Why do all those vile things to me?”

“You made me want to be better, you made me miss my humanity and as beautiful as I thought you were, I hated you for it. As much as I wanted you, and had to have you. I equally wanted to hurt you, to make you pay for the feelings you invoked in me. I loved you and I hated you for it.”

“You enjoyed it. I could see it in your eyes when you were over me, inside me, as I screamed, cried, and pleaded with you. You enjoyed it, all of it.” Dru spoke as she stared off into space.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Angel said and Dru quickly looked to him.

“I don’t want your apology. I can’t accept it.” Angel dropped him head further, feeling defeated. “Angelus is the one who owes me that, not you.” Angel lifted his eyes and gawked at her. “What you feel, your guilt your need to try and rectify what happened to me, it’s only because you are a victim, as much as I am. But I don’t blame you, you are as much a captive of Angelus as I was, only difference is now I’m free, and you never will be. I don’t blame you, and I wish I wasn’t afraid of you, but I am. I look at you and I see him. You have the face of the monster in my dreams, my worst nightmares. And though I don’t blame you for what happened to me, I can tell you I will never be your friend. I will never feel safe around you. I will always want to run from you, things will never be ok between us. Cause he’s still there, I can see him, locked inside you,” Dru spoke as her eyes locked onto his chest. “Clawing to get out, I can hear him screaming in anger. Someday he will get out, you do know that, don’t you? And when that happens I hope that I’m dead and gone.” She then stood and wiped at the tears that streamed down her face, as she walked to where Buffy and Spike sat at a table. “Is there some place I can lie down?” Dru asked and Spike instantly jumped to his feet.

“Are you ok pet?” He asked as he wiped at her wet face. She smiled at him as she cupped his hand with her own.

“I just need to lie down for a bit.”

“OK, there’s a couch in the back room, I’ll show you,” Spike said as he looked to Buffy who nodded her head in approval. “Come on.” He led her off into the room shutting the door behind them as Buffy now made her way to where Angel still sat.

“Hey,” She said as she took the seat beside him. “You ok?”


“I’m sorry I got you involved in all of this, I know it must be painful.”

“She says he’s gonna come out again, someday. Angelus will.” He spoke and Buffy now listened intensely. “I know she’s right cause I can feel him, in here.” Angel rubbed his hand across his chest. “I’m afraid. He’s not sorry, not for any of it. I know that now. I sat here telling her how sorry I was and I could feel him wanting to take her again, I actually had to will him down, I fought him. What if someday I lose it, and he gets outs?”

“Then I’ll have to kill you.” Buffy stated plainly and Angel looked up at her.

“You promise?”

“Count on it.” He sighed in relief.

“I have a son,” Angel suddenly announced. “His name is Connor.” He said as he looked up at Buffy’s now wide eyes, and the wide eyes that looked at him from around the room.

“Wha…How?” Giles asked.

“A Prophesy, according to Wes. Darla and I, we…” Angel couldn’t quite get it out as tears now fell from Buffy’s eyes. “He’s four month’s now, and he’s great.” Angel said with a smile as his thought drifted to his infant son. Buffy stood from the table as she stared down at him in disbelief.

“That’s just not right. I don’t understand it, I don’t understand any of this.” Buffy said, nearly screaming as she walked towards the back of the store and then out the back door. Spike walked back in having heard Buffy, he looked about the room for an explanation. Willow hurried past him, following Buffy out back.

“What happened?” Spike asked.

“Angel and Darla have a son.” Dawn answered as Spike shot a look at Angel for confirmation, and he simply nodded. Spike then turned and went out back after Buffy as well. Spike found her in Willow’s arm wailing heavily as Willow gently rocked her.

“You ok love?” Spike asked and Buffy instantly shot up, and wiped at her eyes and sniffed back her tears.

“I’m gonna go check on Dru.” Willow said as she stood and moved back to the door as she gave Spike a smile in passing, which he nodded to.

“I’m sorry.” Spike spoke first as Buffy continued to wipe at her tears and sniffle. “It must really hurt to know he had a baby, and with Darla no less.”

“What?” Buffy asked as she looked at him strangely.

“All I’m saying is I’m sure that it hurts to learn he had a child, and with someone else.”

“You think I crying because I wanted to have Angel’s baby?” Buffy asked in a straggled voice.

“Aren’t you?”

“No you dummy,” Buffy said as her puffy blood shot eyes glared at him. “I’m crying cause I’ve just realized I’m cursed, and it’s not fair. And it really sucks!” Buffy said in disgust. Spike looked at her oddly now, not understanding. “I’m the slayer, the one girl in all the world. I’ve saved the world I don’t know how many times, and what’s my reward? Oh let’s see, I get killed not once but twice, My Mom dies, my dad’s MIA, I fall in love only to have him go homicidal on me and then I send him to hell, I fall in love again, only to have him get sent to another dimension for over a century.”

“But I came back.” Spike quickly defended.

“Not the point, my point is….why in the hell does all this bad stuff keep happening to me but Angel gets to have a baby, when I never really can, being that I’m the slayer and it really doesn’t fit into the job description, and I probably won’t live long enough anyway. Also a crazy vamp like Dru gets her life back, when you, who’s been doing good deeds for years, technically decades now, you don’t even get a soul. I mean really what the fuck is wrong with me.”

“I guess the powers that be have other, better plans in store for you love.”

“Yeah well I’d really like to kick their Asses, and make them stop screwing with my life.” Spike chuckled at this as he moved beside her.

“I’ll admit some pretty terrible things have happened to you, more then one person should ever have to bare, but a lot of good stuff has happened also.”


“Like, your lil sis, and your friends, and…” He paused thinking.

“And you.” She completed.

“Yeah, me, and I am pretty lucky as well. I got you and my bit, you guys are my heart and soul.” Spike said and Buffy smiled at that. “When I’m with you I feel like I’m alive, and I wouldn’t trade that in for anything.” Spike said with more seriousness. “Also there’s a lot of perks to having a vampire boyfriend.” Buffy arched her brow waiting to hear his warped opinions. “I’ll always be a hottie.”

“Ha! Yeah and I’ll really appreciate that when I’m all old and wrinkly.” Buffy giggled as Spike leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“And I so happened to be kind of rich, which means we can put you and the bit through college and do a lot of traveling. Speaking of which, I’ll be booking us on a flight to London in exactly a week, so...”

“Thank you.” Buffy said cutting him off as she now looked at him with eyes full of love.

“For what?”

“For loving me, even when I didn’t deserve it,” She said with a smile, which he returned. “Also I’m thanking you in advance for all the shopping Dawn and I plan on doing while were in England.” Her smiled broaden as she stood and headed back in, leaving Spike to smile after her.


(God save the Queen….Buffy’s going to London!!! Next Eppy!!)

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