Author's Chapter Notes:
No, no, it’s not a mirage, I’m really back with this beautiful Sara’s story!!
I’m just so sorry for this shameful late, it’s just that this FF is kinda hard to translate, so be patient!
Are you ready for a good cry?
Chapter 11

Tara: Buffy, did everything go fine?
Buffy: Yes, but I need to know what happened after that. I gotta know it.
Spike: Wassup? Your dear love left you and you wanna know if he’ll come back to you?

Buffy turned abruptly , staring at Spike. She desired to throw herself into his arms and wrapping her arms around his neck.. as she desired to punch him at the same time.
On one hand, it was her William , but on the other hand it was just Spike, the container was the same, but there wasn’t the soul that Elisabeth had fall in love with.
At least, that was what her mind yelled at her. Because her heart didn’t agree. Her soul had recognized him and was happy for finding him again.
For a moment her mind drew back to all Spike had done for her, the way he looked at her, the way he looked after her when she slept, thinking that she didn’t notice his presence on the tree.
Anyway, she needed to know if William had come back to Elisabeth, if he had really kept his promise not to leave her, if her desire to trust Spike could come to see the light.
She didn’t want to be hurt, not again, her heart craved peace and she would have found peace, no matter what.
Buffy: My dear love has promised me he would come back and I know he will come back to me.
Spike: So, yours is a mania, I mean the fact that all your boyfriends always leave you. So, if you are so sure he’ll keep his promise, why do you need to check it out?
Buffy: Well, let’s say that actually he’s not the most reliable of the people I know.
Spike: And to think I was sure your Angel was an example of virtues. Maybe you managed to make him leave even in your other life, have you ever wondered if it’s you the real problem?

A very aimed strong punch sent him on the ground.
She was furious, why could he hurt her so much?
Spike got up, without a word, because he knew he deserved it. He headed towards the door and before leaving he looked at everyone.
Spike: Ladies..

He left without even closing the door and Buffy followed him on the porch.
Buffy: Go to hell, Spike!
Spike: Everyone goes there, sooner or later!

He took some steps forward, but then he turned again, with a look between furious and sad.
Spike: You know, Slayer, I’m happy that know you have the certainty that Angel is you soul mate, so I’ll can forget about you.
He turned, but before leaving he whispered something with trembling voice.
Spike: Anyway, it’s a pity: I wanted to find out if there’s an ‘ us ‘ between you and me.

As silent as ever he disappeared into the night.
Buffy was still, stunned, she didn’t know if she had to cry desperately or scream with joy. Her heart hurt and she didn’t know if it was because it had been injured once again or if it was simply breaking free form all the ice that covered it.
Two hands placed gently on her shoulders.
Willow: Come in, you gotta tell us everything.

Once she sat on the sofa, Buffy calmed down and looked at her friends. They were on her side, they had always been. Dawn cut her thoughts off with her curiosity.
Dawn: So, how was it? Were they there, too? Who were us?
Buffy: Almost everyone, but you all had very special roles. I haven’t met you yet there, Dawn, but I know you are there, too, I feel it.
Willow: What about me? But mostly.. what about your soul mate? Although I have already an idea..
Buffy: Well, about who is my soul mate if I were you I wouldn’t bet on that. Anyway, Will, you were my mother, Tara, you were my best friend, Xander was my soul mate’s best friend.
Willow: But you are not going to tell us who your soul mate is.. so we’ll find out on our own. Angel.. who was Angel?
Buffy: My father.
Willow: But if he’s not your soul mate.. who is, then? Among the people we know, there’s Riley.. or Giles.

Buffy looked the floor, embarrassed.
Dawn : I knew it, I knew it was him, it’s just perfect!
Buffy: ‘ Perfect’ is not the word I would use..
Willow: I didn’t understand yet, who is? Riley? – she said not very excited, mostly because Riley was married.
Buffy. No, Will, you just skipped a name in my potential soul mates list: Spike.
Willow: Oh!
Buffy: Yeah, oh, it was such a stunning discovery! It was so unexpected.
Dawn: Not so unexpected, after all I expected it.
Tara: Actually.. me, too.
Buffy: If everyone already knew it, why didn’t you tell me before? You could spare me this shock!

All the girls burst out laughing and the tension disappeared.
Tara: So, why do you wanna come back, if he is already here?
Buffy. Because I need to know if I can trust him!

Her heart cried at the thought that she couldn’t trust him, she needed and she wanted just to believe it, because she had been hurt more than once.
Bit by bit, Buffy told them everything about her journey, in every detail.
When she was done, Dawn had tearful eyes. No one knew what to say.

Buffy: When can I come back?
Tara. Well, we need to rest first, maybe tomorrow night..
Buffy: Fine.
Dawn: A few minutes ago Spike told you the same thing!

Buffy’s heart stopped for a second. She hoped no one would hear their conversation outside, or at least would notice that.
Buffy: Yeah, I know, but I wanna come back anyway.

No one added another word, and after a while they all went sleep.
Buffy’s sleep was agitated .. no one was looking after her on the tree that night.

---------------------------------------------------------
The day after was peaceful, although she felt a little bit confused and nostalgic.
It was evening, but before going to Tara and the others, she decided to patrol a little bit.
She wanted to go to him, * her * him. But what would she say to him ? ‘You know, you are my soul mate, but you are a soulless vampire, and I really don’t figure out why I love you anyway.. ‘
Alt. Since when did she love him? She knew that Elisabeth loved William, the souls were the same but not the people. Plus, Spike didn’t have a soul. That was the real problem. She loved him anyway, even before making that spiritual journey and she had realized that just now.
Buffy: So, I‘m really a total idiot!
Clem: Buffy, are you ok?
Buffy: Hi, Clem, what are you doing here?
Clem: I was going to Willie’s, and then I saw you talk alone and gesticulate..
Buffy. Oh! Was I talking out loud?
Clem: Just when you called yourself a total idiot!
Buffy: Alright! So now, every demon in Sunnydale will know I went crazy!
Clem. Or in love.
Buffy: WHAT?
Clem: Well, first you smile, then you’re angry, then you call yourself a idiot.. It seems you have just found out you are in love!
Buffy: Are you sure I didn’t yell it?
Clem: Ok, let’s say that sometimes I can read the minds ( Author’s Note: I don’t think Clem could in the show, but allow me that!)

Buffy looked at the ground embarrassed, the last thing she needed was everyone to know she was in love with Spike. A Slayer who loves a Vampire, again, is there something funnier?
Clem: A Vampire who loves a Slayer.
Buffy: Did your mommy ever tell you it’s not polite to read people’s thought?
Clem: Sorry, but it’s so rare when I can do that.. I just take advantage of that. Anyway, I know why you’re angry, but don’t worry, he will be back soon, he packed just a few stuff..
Buffy: What are you talking about?
Clem: Spike. Yesterday, he took some sheets of paper, a bottle of scotch and he left with his car.

Buffy was still and speechless, and Clem left her alone with her thoughts.
Spike left, and then.. he made fun of Angel for leaving her! Where and mostly WHY did he leave?
She got in the crypt and it was scarily silent, no TV, no witty remark, nothing.
On the sarcophagus there was some rolled sheets of paper and on them one, still white.
Buffy confined herself to smile, leaving the crypt and closing the door.

Buffy: No, my dear, this is just a coincidence, plus, you promised * you * would bring it back to me. So, now, let’s go find out if you keep your promises…

TBC

It’s sad, but beautiful, isn’t it? ;)





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