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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi again! I can’t update ‘ Bit’ today, sorry, but I managed to translate another chapter of Sara’s beautiful story, are you happy?
There’s a poetry that is very hard to translate here.. I’ll try to do my best, sorry for my mistakes!
Chapter 13

Buffy opened her eyes very slowly and she didn’t move, didn't talk.
Willow approached to her and put her hand on her shoulder just as if she wanted to catch her attention.
Buffy knew she was back, but she wanted to still enjoy that felling a little bit.
The feeling that was filling her eyes with tears, the feeling of wholeness, joy, the feeling that made her feel alive.
She hadn’t felt alive for so long.
That feeling filled her, made her smile become larger, it was something she had felt when she was Elisabeth and she was with William and she felt the same with him in this life, too.

Willow: Are you ok?
She turned to look at her friend and her sister.
Buffy: I feel very well, thanks!
Dawn: So? Did he come back to you? – she wondered enthused.
Buffy: Yes, he kept his promise.
Tara: So, now what are you gonna do?

Yeah.. what she would do?
She knew she loved Spike, but how could she tell him? She had pushed him away and treated him very bad, so if she had told him about the soul mates story he would think she loved him just for that.
She hoped that travel made things easier, but it wasn’t so.

Buffy: I don’t know, but I’ll face things bit by bit, I gotta fix things in my life. No more lies ,no more fear.
Tara: But.. are you in love with him?

Buffy smiled, she didn’t want to answer. If someone should know Buffy loved Spike, the first one to know it.. had to be Spike.
Buffy: A few months ago, if someone had told me about soul mates I would have thought about Angel.
Dawn: But.. you did the spell to come back in the time just yesterday. Before it, you didn’t know that he wasn’t your soul mate.. so why do you talk about months?
Buffy: Because lots of stuff has changed, he left for so long, I don’t know how I would react if I saw him again, but I know that things are different now.

The phone rang and Dawn picked it up. She was speechless when she heard that voice.
Dawn: Hold on a second.- she covered the receiver with a hand and looked at her sister.
Dawn: it’s Angel!

Buffy stood still for a while, but then she relaxed, things were different now.
Buffy: Hi, Angel.
Angel: Hi, Buffy, how are you? It’s been ages since we heard from each other.
Buffy: Yeah. I’m fine.. and you?

As she heard that voice for a moment she didn’t see her first love, but the man who had been her father and came to her whenever she needs him the most.

Angel: As always! I called you because I need a book in the Magic Box, I wanted to know if I could take it, if it’s not a problem. I know it’s not nice to call you just for work..
Buffy: There’s no problem, Angel, Anya will be happy to sell you something!
Angel: I hope to see you when I arrive to Sunnydale..

A chitchat interrupted their conversation, it was Cordelia ’s voice, Buffy didn’t understand what she was saying, but she clearly heard a name.. Spike.
Buffy: Spike?- she repeated with a tremble voice.
Angel: Yeah, dear old Spike was at L.A. yesterday. I found him near my house, with his car plenty of sheets, he was drunk and slurred something.
I kept him with me for a while, waiting for him to be sober again, and then he left.
Buffy: What did he tell you?
Angel: Something not very understandable. He blathered about soul mates, he told me I was always the luckier one and that he had to go burn some stupid dreams. He didn’t talk much, but he told me I have to call because you had something to say to me.
Buffy: Angel, I..
Angel: I know, I know, I’m not the one you gotta talk with.
Buffy: How..
Angel: Buffy, I’m more than 200 years old, plus I feel what you feel. I hope to see you, greet Dawn for me.

Without waiting for her answer, Angel hung up as she still tried to tide her thoughts.
Willow: What did he want? How is he?

Buffy hung up and stood still, thinking.
Buffy: He just wanted a book, he’ll pass by the magic shop- and then she woke up from her trance- Girls, I gotta go, I gotta fix things!

She left as a fury and headed towards Spike’s crypt, but when she arrived there it was still empty.
She closed the door and took a look around. Why was he always so impulsive?
Why did he act without thinking? Because he was Spike: all heart and passion.
If only she had been sincere with him since the beginning all this wouldn’t happen.
Damn, she was afraid, everyone would have judged her, she was the evil one. He loved her and had opened his heart to her, he had risked anything and he had given her everything, instead, she had beaten him, humiliated him, she had laughed of his love for her.
She had been a bitch!
But it wasn’t so simple, he was always a vampire, he was the same person who had tried to kill her countless times, who had threatened her friends. Ok, he had changed but she couldn’t be sure. It’s not easy to trust someone, mostly if your heart is broken.
Plus, to receive so much love you also have to give a lots of love, but she felt as if she missed everything.
She sat on the armchair and smiled. It was cool to be loved by him, but it would be cooler to love him the same way. She wanted to feel the same passion flow into her, to hear her heart beat faster when he arrived, she wanted to love someone with the same intensity Spike could love her and she wanted him to be that someone. She felt alive, all those feelings that crossed her.. she thought she would never feel them again.
She noticed that there was a book on the armchair, she took him and skimmed though the pages.
Poetry by Pablo Neruda.
There was something in the centre, a pic, her pic.
She read the poetry on that page, and she did it out loud

“ NON T’AMO COME SE FOSSI ROSA DI SALE, TOPAZIO
( I DON’T LOVE YOU AS IF YOU WERE A SALT ROSE, TOPAZ)
O FRECCIA DI GAROFANI CHE PROPAGANO IL FUOCO
( OR AN ARROW OF PINKS THAT SPREAD THE FIRE)
T’AMO COME SI AMANO CERTE COSE OSCURE;
(I LOVE YOU AS PEOPLE LOVE CERTAIN DARK THINGS;)
SEGRETAMENTE, TRA L’OMBRA E L’ANIMA.
(SECRETLY, BETWEEN THE SHADOW AND THE SOUL.)

T’AMO COME LA PIANTA CHE NON FIORISCE E RECA
(I LOVE YOU AS THE PLANT THAT DOESN ’T BLOOM AND KEEPS)
DENTRO DI SE ‘, NASCOSTA, LA LUCE DI QUEI FIORI;
(INSIDE IT, HIDDEN, THE LIGHT OF THOSE FLOWERS;)
GRAZIE AL TUO AMORE VIVE OSCURO NEL MIO CORPO
( THANKS TO YOUR LOVE, IT LIVES DARK IN MY BODY)
IL CONCENTRATO AROMA CHE ASCESE DALLA TERRA
(THE STRONG AROMA THAT AROSE FROM THE EARTH) “

She stopped for a moment, it seemed that those words were written for her.. for them.
She was about to resume reading, but a voice behind her anticipated her.

“ T’AMO SENZA SAPERE COME, NE’ QUANDO, NE’ DA DOVE
(I LOVE YOU WITHOUT KNOWING HOW, WHEN OR FROM WHERE)
T’AMO DIRETTAMENTE SENZA PROBLEMI NE’ ORGOGLIO
(I LOVE YOU DIRECTLY, WITHOUT PROBLEMS, NEITHER PRIDE)
COSI’ TI AMO, PERCHE ’ NON SO AMARE ALTRIMENTI
( THAT ’S HOW I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE I CAN’T DO IT ANY OTHER WAY)
CHE COSI’, IN QUESTO MODO, IN CUI NON SONO E NON SEI
( BECAUSE THIS WAY, WHERE I AM NOT AND YOU ARE NOT)
COSI’ VICINO LA TUA MANO SUL PETTO E’ LA MIA
( SO CLOSE, YOUR HAND ON MY CHEST IS MY HAND)
COSI’ VICINO CHE SI CHIUDONO I TUOI OCCHI CON IL MIO SONNO
(SO CLOSE THAT YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WITH MY SLEEP)


Buffy didn’t move, Spike’s voice filled the room, she wanted to cry and let him comfort her into his arms. She smile and turned slowly, looking at him almost as if she was challenging him.
Spike: I knew I had missed something, my bonfire wasn’t complete . So, why are you here, Slayer?
Buffy: I was in the nearby, I wanted to know how was your short journey at L.A.. Did you send a postcard to me?
Spike: So, did your soul mate call you?
Buffy: No, it was just Angel.

Spike pretended to ignore her last sentence.. what did she mean?
Buffy: He told me he would come here to take a book and say hi.
Spike: You should be happy, you’ll see your beloved again! So, the present Angel is on his way to come back to you, what about the one in the past life, did he come back to you?
Buffy: It wasn’t Angel who had to come back with me. He wasn’t him who had promised to me that he would have found me in every life. Anyway, yes, my soul mate, my love, kept his word. In every life!

She didn’t say anything else, she just confined herself to lock his eyes with hers.
Spike was confused and he wasn’t sure if he had understood, he just thought that maybe he was drunk again.

TBC

Very spuffy sweet chapter coming soon eh eh!
Tell Sara she is a genius!!!!!!!!!





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