a/n---ok, something reallll quick: evil intentions, I am so jealous of you! You got to hang out with James Marsters! He’s my idol; he seems so…happy about what he does, and that makes him so cool in my book. You are one lucky person!!!
***
He threw the shirt away from him, holding in a sob. The garment landed on the edge of William’s bed, the part with the word ‘DAD’ hanging off the side.
He heard Buffy inhale sharply at his movement and she crossed to William’s bed to pick it up. She walked back over to him and held it in front of him expectantly, but he pushed it away.
“Spike, take it.”
“No.”
“Take it.”
“No!”
“Spike-”
“NO!” he yelled, then lowered his voice in fear of waking William. “I don’t want it.”
“Why-”
“Because I don’t deserve it! I don’t deserve to get something that tells me that I’m…”
Her eyes softened, realizing his distress. He was angry with himself for not being there. And this shirt wasn’t going to help him to be any less mad.
“‘World’s Best Dad’,” he scoffed, burying his face in his hands once more. “Didn’t even know I was a dad, and now I’m suddenly the best.” He looked up and glared at the offending item. “Why did he make it, anyway? I’d assumed he’d been told I was dead or something.”
“Well…it was the ‘or something’ part. He asked where his dad was…and I just old him that you and I didn’t get along and you left.”
“Oh, wonderful! Now he’s going to think I abandoned you. Just make this bloody worse, why don’t you?”
“Spike, just…calm down.”
“No! I won’t calm down, and I probably will NEVER calm down!”
“Can you try?” she asked, undeterred by his yelling. “Or can we take this somewhere else because our son is trying to sleep.”
He seemed to relax at that, glancing over at the small child. “Yeah,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah.”
---
“Wes?” asked Alyson as she lay in their bed that night.
“Hmm?” he hummed from where his face was buried in her neck.
“Do you think that Spike and Buffy can ever…” she trailed off, then shook her head slightly. “I don’t know what I’m thinking.”
“Well,” he said, lifting his head. “Honestly? I think they can, I just hope that they don’t.”
“What?” she said, turning around. “Why would you say that? Spike is a nice guy, and yeah, he had that whole thing with getting Buffy pregnant, but-”
“Well, he wasn’t a nice guy afterwards.”
“How would YOU know?” she asked. “I thought you didn’t know her yet.”
“Aly, I DID know her. Our parents were dating then, and I had been at the house when she burst into the house, crying. Do you think that she wasn’t hurt?”
“Well, I’m sure she was hurt, but-”
“No, Aly! He abandoned her the day after he slept with her, and didn’t look back! Now, he’s facing the results of his actions and they just happen to be in the form of my step-sister and her young son.”
She was silent for a few minutes before asking softly, “It was bad, huh?”
He sighed, and tightened his arms around her. “Yeah. It was bad.”
---
William opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. Wondering where his mom was, he pushed the covers down, grabbed Mr. Teddy, and padded over to his door. “Mommy?” he said quietly. “Mommy?”
He slowly made his way toward the stairs, then gripped the railing as he made his way down. He heard his mom in the kitchen, and that strange man who had been there while he was eating his soup.
He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, clutching Mr. Teddy to him and clad in his jammies. “Mommy?” he asked again, quietly. But the two grown-ups ignored him.
---
“Spike, listen to me,” Buffy said as they made their way into the kitchen. “He doesn’t know who you are yet.”
“‘Yet’?” he echoed. “As in, he’ll know eventually?”
She sighed, leaning against the counter. “Spike, sooner or later he’s going to need to know. I figure the sooner the better.”
“So, when are you going to tell him I’m his dad?”
“Well, I-”
“Mommy?”
Buffy and Spike froze, turning to the doorway. “William,” Buffy whispered. She threw a glance at Spike before crossing over to him. Kneeling on the ground, she said, “William, baby, what are you doing up?”
He shrugged, his sleepy blue eyes still fixed on the blond in the kitchen.
“Well,” Buffy said, picking him up. “You’re a sicky, so we need you to rest and get all better.” She made her way to the stairs and started up them, Spike right behind her. “And once you’re all better, we just might go see The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.”
He nodded, still looking over her shoulder at Spike. And as she lay him down to sleep, he whispered to her, “Night, Mommy.” She kissed his forehead, pulling the blankets up his body. When she pulled back, she noticed he was still looking at Spike. She turned around and tilted her head towards William. “You want to say good-night to William, Spike?”
His head snapped up, and he suddenly looked unsure of what to do. “Uh…”
Buffy smiled, turning to her son. “Will, do you want Spike to tuck you in?” He nodded, blue eyes wide.
Spike sighed and walked to the bed, crouching next to Buffy. He tentatively reached out one hand and brushed the blond hair out of his son’s eyes. He cautiously leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his forehead. As he pulled back, the little boy grabbed his finger with one hand. He tugged, bringing Spike’s ear next to his mouth. He whispered something inside of it before letting go of the finger.
Spike inhaled sharply and drew back, pulling out of his crouch. He ran his hand through his hair, and turned and walked through the child’s bedroom door.
After a few minutes, Buffy followed. “Hey,” she said, standing next to him. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you hear what he said?”
“No. Why don’t you tell me?”
He took in a shaky breath, before saying, “He said, ‘Night, Daddy’.”
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